Absolute Shocker!
by James-RoxMySox
Summary: Lily Evans is your average teenage girl,with a chocolate chip cookies obsession, issues with coordinatation and not exactly fond of James Potter. Diary of our beloved, engimatic Red head Rated for language
1. Welcome to My World

**Absolute Shocker**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

A/N: Sorry about this being reposted but I had to make a few little alterations so the story would make sense, please read it as the change does affect chapter 27 which should be coming up as as available right about now! So thank you for your patience and please read

Right on with the story

* * *

**Tuesday August 31st**

I'm Lillianna Elizabeth Evans but ever, and I mean ever, call me that and you will be rewarded with two very striking black eyes

Get my drift?

Good.

Just call me Lily or Evans, so much simpler.

I have no idea what my mother was on when she named me but it was strong! I think my parents liked both Lily and Anna and couldn't decide between them so they used lateral thinking and stuck'em together!

Good grief can you image what a mouthful that is when my mother wants to scream at me? Not that she ever screams at me for being in trouble.

I'm a good girl, get good grades, never act rebellious and always do my chores. It's more an exasperated sigh when one of my – shall we say frequent? Accidents occurs.I happen to be a little uncoordinated in some areas say my han –

AAAAHHHHH! Damn it! I just fell down the stairs!

Okay I might as well just say it: I'm a klutz. And I don't mean a trip-over-every-now-and-then-klutz I mean a full-fledged four-trips-to-the-hospital-wing-a-week-klutz. Yes, that's how bad I am; I manage to trip over my own two feet in varying degrees of severeness at least once a day. I'm an absolute shocker!

Hopefully that little vacation down the stairs is today's only adventure I'm going to encounter.

Pft! As if, this is me, Lily Evans, we're talking about. I attract misfortune and accidents waiting to happen like the Marauders attract girls and trouble, now that is saying something!

The Marauders are a trouble-making bunch of seventh year boys that happen to be absolutely gorgeous. James Potter and Sirius Black are the tall, dark, handsome and womanising duo. Remus Lupin in the ideas man and he works out the nitty gritty of the pranks, not bad to look at either ;). The final member is their devoted look out, Peter Pettigrew. He's not as good looking as the others but has a boyish charm all the same.

Of course the entire female population has a crush o at least one of them. (For me it's Remus he's such a sweetie but still a mischievous little cretin) Potter and Black mainly because they are such stud muffins! I won't deny it they are two fine pieces of eye candy.

Only problem: They know it.

Meaning they have an ego to match but that doesn't stop their fan clubs, you heard right… fan clubs.

So to compare my lack of coordination and awkwardness with Marauders appeal to the opposite sex shows the extent of my klutziness.

Bloody Massive!

Any way it's not like anyone actually notices anymore. I somehow manage to slip into the background and my yells of:

"Damn it!"

"Bloody Hell!"

"Oh My Giddy Aunt!"

And many more simply become a part of Hogwarts.

My friends assured me that if I was sick for a week they would have to step in because people would become nervous from the lack of disasters. Good to know I have friends who care so deeply about my welfare, now isn't it?

Dana and Bridget reckon they could divide the misfortunes between them.

HA! What a riot! Those two klutzes! Deary me, they know how to joke.

Or at least I though they did till the told me they were serious.

I couldn't help but point out that they could never be klutzy, it takes skill, or rather a lack there of. I can tell you are wondering why these two people could never be clumsy or awkward.

Easy.

They're part Veela. Their great grandmother was a full veela and the looks run in the family. In case you haven't noticed they are twin, identical in every way right down to every last pin straight silvery blonde hair on their magnificent heads. No need to state just how drop dead gorgeous they are it only depresses me. I am especially jealous of their hair that happens to be the exact opposite of my auburn coloured mess of curls. They have pin straight hair that is always in place. Dag nab it! Some people have all the luck!

They are often referred to as 'the Crazy Declour Twins' due to their eccentric tendencies. That can be expected from people named Blodeuedd and Cliodhna. (Don't ask, their mother is slightly obsessed with Celtic mythology, that's why we stick with their middle names, thankfully their father made those pronounceable) But all is forgiven due to their friendliness.

Can you guess what comes with veela looks? (Apart from charm, which they definitely have)

Go on guess!

Yep that's right, grace.

_Natural _grace.

The lucky little berks have natural grace and nice hair can you say unfair?

Thought so.

I love them dearly but I can't help feel a bit jealous.

Nessa (Vanessa) reckons she could take my place. I couldn't help but scoff before putting on a fake sympathetic face and patting her on the arm while carefully explaining that although she may be more graceful on a broom stick than on her own two feet, she still can't keep up with me when it comes to being accident prone.

You see Nessa is a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team (Happens to be my house also) so she has the hand-eye thing down pat. Eye-foot in a different matter. Nessa is a trip-over-every-now-and-then-klutz, the type I mention earlier, which, in truth, is perfectly normal.

Rhi (Rhiannon) didn't even put up a case for her taking my place because everyone knows Rhi can never, ever, ever be klutzy. She even tried once as a joke (the twins dared her) to fall over and lose all her books but it just didn't work. Must be all that wretched ballet she does permanently affecting her brain.

After one day at attempted klutzdom I had to ask her to kindly stop as she made me look even worse.

I mean really, who can land gracefully on her arse, drop only one book and have to two absolute hunks help her up and pick up her book, I ask you.

No one ever helps me up or helps with my books and Rhi gets helped up by not one, but two drop dead gorgeous Ravenclaws, who both invited her to Hogsmeade.

Hmmph!

I trip over, people laugh.

Rhi trips, guys rush forward to be her knight in shining armour.

Again, can you say unfair?

I must have been a complete wanker in a previous life to rack up this much bad karma. Not even taunting Tuna (Petunia, my sister) can create this much negative energy. Maybe I have help from an evil little demon that goes around doing evil little demon things in my name.

Must be, there's no other explanation.

Or not.

Oh well the fact remains that no one can replace me, see my friends would be lost without me! Arrogant statement I know but my ego needs something to compensate for the klutz factor.

We won't even enter Tristan and Cam into this, seeing as they are 6th year versions of Black and Potter.

Apart from being the biggest klutz to ever stumble the face of the earth I'm muggle born, which means the Slytherin arse wipes just can't get enough of insulting me.

Though after five years of hearing the term 'Mudblood' it still has surprisingly little effect. It's a poor arse excuse for an insult. I mean come on, 'dirty blood'? A five year old can do better. It's a ridiculous concept and most of the time I end up laughing at the stupidity of it all.

So you imagine when Regulus Black calls me a 'Mudblood' during potions I dissolve into silent giggles.

One lesson at the end of last year Black was feeling particularly malicious and kept mouthing 'Mudblood' across the dungeon followed by a glare each time.

Well let's just say I got annoyed and I cursed his hair into blonde pigtails with pink bows while he wasn't looking.

Needless to say I was soon shaking with silent laughter, leaning on Nessa to keep myself upright and stuffing my hand into my moth the muffle the laughter. He looked so ridiculous trying to look threatening when really he looked as though someone had stolen his lollipop.

Still makes me laugh. Black, the moron he is, thought I was crying and sent me a very triumphant look, only making me laugh harder.

Our potions master is an old bat; he's half blind but has the most phenomenal hearing. I had to try so unbelievably hard to keep quiet. As soon as class finished a sprinted out the door and burst into a fit of laughter, I was almost doubled over, one hand clutching my stomach and the other on the wall for support.

When black came out with this bewildered look on his face, I looked at him with this maniac grin in place and managed to gasp

"Your HAIR!"

Before giving into another round of laughter.

The look on his face was too much and I collapsed on the floor finally giving into my mirth. He looked as though he had just been slapped in the face with a rather large fish. I can't wait to learn the Patronus charm, as I will definitely be using that memory of a gob smacked black. Hilarious

On a happier note I can't wait till tomorrow when I get to go back to Hogwarts and enter my 6th year! Yay!

Offcourse that means seeing Black but hey, I'm a prefect again this year so I can just give him detention, the little twerp.

Wait make that plural – detention**s **Ooh! That's good!

I can't wait to see who the Head Boy and Girl are. Hopefully someone who is fair, unbiased and I don't know …humble maybe.

My god last year we had Narcissa Black and Amos Diggory. You have no idea how many times I wanted to resign after every meeting.

Cissa, as I called her, and I used to be study buddies and friends since my first year, even though she was a Slytherin 3rd year and I was a Gryffindor 1st year. We even tutored each other in areas we have trouble with. We met every Sunday in the library to do homework, or we did until Cissa started dating Luscious Malfoy.

He made Cissa promise never to associate with my kind or else he would inform her aunt (Regulus' mother, real piece of work that one) and then she'd cop it. The lowlife Black mailed my Cissa into never speaking to me again.

Complete jerk is Malfoy.

I believe her even trapped her into marrying him by arranging it through the deranged aunt. We've never talked since but she still owls me every now and then. Poor thing married to the evil git Malfoy.

Poor, poor Cissa.

But I think the new Head Girl will be Amelia Bones but the Head Boy is harder to determine. Though anybody has to be better than Diggory, he was a pompous wanker by all accounts.

We had several near uprisings out of hatred for our head boy, had we had an actual uprising Diggory would have been lynched. Not pretty I know but he was a tosser.

Daniel Diggory is the male prefect of Gryffindor for our year. He's Amos's younger brother but so much nicer and a whole lot cuter. Also the big difference, Daniel is NOT obsessed with himself. He's actually very sweet and thoughtful.

And yes before you ask, I do have a slight crush on him.

Okay that was a horrible lie I have a full blown, out of this world crush on Daniel Diggory. Say anything and I will kill you and it will be a long, slow drawn out death.

He has no idea of course but I'm sure he'll find due to my disturbingly frequent humiliations of myself in his presence. Though I know any day now he's going to wake up and realises he truly loves me! ) Yeah right, my ego just likes to keep up its spirits with delusions of this nature so it doesn't lose faith entirely.

I mean the poor possum has quite a bit to put up with. For example:

The klutziness – that's the big one

Awful, evil, appalling, unpleasant, cretin hair

The scatterbrain workings of my mind, as you can see from this diary

My stubbornness

And last of all my melodramatic tendencies

So with all this on its plate, my poor ego has no other choice than to be borderline schizophrenic or shrivel up and die.

I would choose insanity also.

Also it's best not to insult my pride, the ego will not hear of it and forces me to maintain what pride I have left after being known as the resident klutz. I also have the red heads temper so it's not in your best interest to upset me especially when it comes to my pride.

Black has done this a few times and each time has landed him a week in the hospital wing, take that sucker! The tosser thought he could do we against me, silly, mislead, little boy. Hello, Narcissa Black tutored me in Defence Against the Dark Arts for four years!

Coming from a Dark Arts obsessed family, Cissa was able to give me a few pointers some curses and hexes dirty duellers cough Black cough would use.

She was right.

Stupid prat, don't think his teeth ever fully recovered from the incident.

He won't know what's hit him if he messes with me this year. Cissa felt so bad for her behaviour last year she sent me this nifty DADA book. It has some wicked hexes and curses I'm just itching to try out. I can't wait for tomorrow Dana and Brig are picking me up to leave for Kings Cross.

I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait

I can't wa – you may also I am extremely impatient. But I'm so excited about seeing all my friends!

I CAN"T WAIT!

* * *

A/N: Okay here are the characters – a limited number but the majority of main characters

**Lily and her friends:**

**Lily Evans: **Auburn hair that falls in ringlets at her shoulders, startlingly green eyes, slender yet curvy figure and 5ft 5. Completely scatter brained and quite klutzy

**Vanessa (Nessa) Halleway:** Classic country girl looks: Mousy brown hair that's wavy, big blue eyes and a dusting of freckles over her nose. Athletic build from Quidditch, chaser, is fiery and sporty. 5ft 6

**Rhiannon Grey:** Spanish beauty in her own right with liquid black eyes, black, black hair and skin so tanned she looks like a walking mochaccino. Patient and the group's cool, calm and collected member. Willing to go with the flow. 5ft 4

**Danna and Bridget Declour **(if anyone knows a French last name please tell me I have no idea so I had to settle with Declour): twins, with a French father and Irish mother. Part Veela with long silvery blonde hair, penetrating grey eyes and smooth tanned skin and about 5ft 5 ½. Loud, outspoken and even a little crazy.

**Tristan Montgomery:** pretty boy, blonde spiky hair, sea green eyes, well built and toned, tanned and well just yummy! Quidditch player, keeper, and 6ft

**Cameron (Cam) Davies:** dark hair that falls in his eyes, tanned skin and crystalline blue eyes. 6ft 2 well built

All Gryffindors.

**The Marauders:** Do I really have to explain them? Okay, okay don't eat me.

**James Potter: **6ft 1, messy black hair, melt in your mouth chocolate brown eyes, tanned well built. Quidditch captain and chaser.

**Sirius Black:** original tall, dark and handsome stranger, black hair that always falls in place, black eyes that draw you in and of course well built from Quidditch, beater, and 6ft 2

**Remus Lupin:** Shaggy blonde hair, amber eyes and peaky looking at times, slightly les built that the others but good looking all the same. 6ft

**Peter Pettigrew:** cute in a little boy way with watery blue eyes and flaxen blonde hair, 5ft 10. Okay don't kill me but I had to make him presentable the marauders wouldn't let an ugly little toad hang around them, plus he's good at this stage so don't give me any grief for it.

All in Gryffindor of course

All in a category of his own

**Regulus Black:** Think younger version of Sirius

For those of you unfamiliar with Celtic mythology here are a few explanations:

**Blodeuedd:** means 'born of flowers' or 'flower face' she was a beautiful and magical woman, conjured by magicians from various flowers. Said to be the fairest woman in the world.

**Cliodhna:** otherworld goddess of beauty, she had three magical birds that could sing the sick to sleep and cure them.

**Dana:** the great mother goddess, gave her name to the Tuatha De Danann, a race of wonderful, beautiful but often vulnerable gods who lived in the sparkling other world.

**Rhiannon:** a figure of welsh mythology associated with horses. As patient as she was beautiful, Rhiannon endured her misfortune and injustice without complaint and remarkable patience. She had magical birds that could wake the dead and send the living to sleep.

**Tristan:** a tragic lover of Celtic mythology and a prince of Cornwall.

I got sick of James being Lily's nemesis so I decided Regulus Black was a good candidate for the position. Regulus is a year younger than Sirius in my story (Yes, I know he is supposed to be two years younger but a year fits better in my story).

Please Review, I promise you get a cookie if you do, even if it is a flame, tell we what you think.


	2. Clones and Gigantic Prats

Absolute Shocker

By JamesRoxMySox 

A/N: Sorry I had to repost this story because I changed the little end bit just slightly but it doesn't really matter if you don't read it you'll find out about the change anyway. But if you like you can go straight to the last entry and hey presto you're up to date! Also I changed the spelling mistake of Regulus Black's name. (Regulus …not Regalus, my good, my spelling is atrocious) Sorry it's just I am a perfectionist and if I spot a mistake I have to change it smiles innocently

Here's the story fixed up and changed slightly

* * *

**September 1st – Hogwarts Express**

Oh. My. God.

I have gone into a state of shock! I am seriously questioning the sanity of our beloved head master, Dumbledore. I

always knew the man slightly unorthodox in his methods but his latest appointment has my mind reeling. It's absurd that Dumbledore saw this as a …reasonable decision.

I'm lost for words. For once in my life I can't express myself with words on a subject. What subject could possibly have me this worked up you ask?

The appointment of the new head boy is what.

James Potter

James Potter. I swear discovered ate something of the plant variety (i.e. magic mushrooms) just before making that decision. There's no other reason of how Dumbledore could be so delusional.

I mean he appoints the leader of the marauders – best known and biggest pranksters at Hogwarts – as Head Boy, a position that gives him unlimited opportunity to pull those ridiculous pranks. Oh dear god, Dumbledore has finally cracked and gone senile.

The position of head by has turned into a popularity contest; I mean Potter wasn't even a prefect!

Okay Lily, calm down, it's all right, he'll behave himself now he's Head Boy.

Won't he?

Oh no, I feel an anxiety attack coming on!

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

I suppose I should start from the beginning but I just had to get that out of my system.

Okay here goes

* * *

This morning Dana and Bridg arrived early while I was still in the shower. Their mum had to be at a meeting early at the ministry so my dad said he'd take us. Once I got out the shower I discovered the twins had raided my wardrobe and taken it upon themselves to be my stylist.

Great.

Lying on my bed was a microscopic jean miniskirt. It was horrid. Faded denim with a ripped hem that had gingham and lace peaking out the bottom. Lace shudder . I recognised it instantly as my mother's attempts to make me become feminine. Honestly the woman just can't accept that I detest girly clothing.

Ugh!

Just thinking about the clothes she bought me over the summer is enough to make my skin crawl.

Ewwwww!

Of course it turned into the Spanish inquisition with Dana and Bridget demanding to know how long I had been in possession of such '_gorgeous_' clothes and how long I was planning on keeping my _'stunning figure'_ (insert snort) hidden beneath _'those ugly sweat pants?'_ (Their words not mine)

Would you believe they forced me into this…belt of a skirt! Then promptly thrust upon me a strappy singlet top. The spaghetti straps crossed over at the back that went down a little to far for my liking.

All the while denying me access to my other clothes, which they still have hidden. After that I was manhandled by my so-called friends while they did my hair and make up.

I felt like a Barbie doll that's been given to a pair of five year olds who have just discovered the world of make up and hairspray.

I couldn't move because they literally tied me to the chair. I became their little project, more of a boredom buster, and after an hour and a half they were done. Hallelujah thank the lord, I was free.

Dana made some witty remarks about how Daniel wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me.

Um, hello, this is me, Lily Evans, klutz and bookworm extraordinaire. The only thing hat wouldn't be able to keep it's hands off me is the many bugs that will surely become stuck to my face from the inch thick make up.

Sorta like the tar pits.

Bridget on the other hand was cooing over how gorgeous I looked. Coming from someone with veela heritage, I immediately became suspicious.

I had every right to be.

Bridg led me to over to the full length mirror, while Dana removed the towel covering it. I had to bite both of the insides of my cheeks to prevent me from screaming.

Stuff looking like a super model (Dana's opinion) I looked like a bloody slapper!

I looked like a tart and as though I was making my way to a corner! How could my friends expect me to be seen in public like that?!

My hair was parted to the side; voluptuous curls feel to my shoulders framing my face. My eyes were out lined with smudged black eyeliner and smoky eye shadow.

My lips were cherry red and glossy, they looked like rubbery plastic! Coupled with my fair skin I looked positively slutty!

Oh dear god, I looked like the original slut and still do at the moment!

You see the twins had taken so long with my 'make over' we were running horribly, disgustingly late. Another freak out for me as I am usually the most punctual person. I almost started hyperventilating. I'll never know how we made it to King's Cross in time.

All I know is it involved a lot of shouting, cursing and me running around like a headless chook.

I was supposed to be at the prefect meeting at five to eleven and we didn't even make it to the platform till one to eleven. Then we had to find our usual compartment. I quickly shoved my stuff away and ran for all my worth to the prefect compartment up the front.

I will have you know that it's harder than it looks to run in a belt length miniskirt and three-inch stilettos.

Yup, the twins had gone the whole hog and forced me into high heels.

I threw open the compartment door nearly derailing it in my haste, quickly catching the attention of every occupant. I almost dropped dead from embarrassment. I mumbled a quick apology before looking at the Head Boy and Girl. My eyes widened in shock when I saw James Potter.

He had his eyebrows raised in a questioning look with a hint of a smirk. What's he laughing at he thinks my dramatic entrance is humorous, does he? Maybe or it could be the fact I was _still in the get up of my make over._

Damn it! I had forgotten my robes and was still parading around in barely enough to cover a three year old.

Stupid!

Stupid!

Stupid!

I disgust myself and am an insult to the intelligence of mankind.

I was snapped out of my reverie by Amelia (yeah, got head girl just as suspected) who asked me to sit down and continued her talk. I shot her an apologetic look with a grateful smile while I took my seat next to Daniel and the other Gryffindor prefects.

Daniel found the whole thing highly amusing.

Oh yes, I can see the humour in that.

I was late (which I never ever am, even after one of my daily near death experiences)

I am wearing the most absurd outfit

I made an attention grabbing entrance

I became stunned a deer in the headlights in the door way by the sight of the Head Boy

And managed to flash my underwear to the whole compartment as I sat down (though I'm pretty sure only Daniel and Potter saw).

Excellent

Bloody Excellent

I should be shot, it would cause a lot less trouble, believe me. But I suppose many people would be left with out their daily source of amusement.

Oh screw it, I can't be bother drawing up a pro's and con's list of my life. I have the sneaking suspicion the out weigh the pro's and if this was confirmed I would be obligated to end it all, so it's best I don't know.

Daniel grinned the whole time. I ended up threatening to curse him to within an inch of his life before he would even try to suppress his mirth.

Unfortunately Potter saw me whispering in Daniel's ears and asked me if I had anything to share. I instantly blushed (Damn fair skin!) and mumbled no.

He then continued to embarrass me by recommending I keep my romantic interludes until after the meeting. My jaw hit the floor. I quickly snapped it shut and glared at Potter's smirking face.

Daniel had to hold me back to stop me from attacking Potter. With some help from Remus he managed to restrain me.

I immediately told Remus what an arse his friend is and expressed my desire to kill him with my bare hands. Remus just chuckled and apologised for Potter's behaviour as an arrogant prat.

I like Remus he's pretty nice for someone who hangs out with the tied winners of Britain's Biggest Ego Competition.

When the meeting was over Daniel and I stayed behind to congratulate Amelia. As Potter walked past me smirking his evil, disgusting smirk, he winked at me suggestively.

He winked at me!

The arrogant, pompous, egotistical, womanising tosser winked at me.

I had my wand in my wand in my hand was about to go after him when Daniel pinned my arms to my side by wrapping his arms around me (Sigh, I could stay that way forever). He calmly explained that it wasn't a good idea to hex the Head Boy.

Pft! Hex him!

HEX him!?

Sod that, the thought never even entered my mind, I just wanted to ram my wand up his nose and wipe that smirk of his face.

Amy (Amelia) praised my new style and said I should consider it as a permanent change. She said I'm like Cinderella, hiding my true beauty or something along those lines.

Er…how about ….no?

Try the ugly stepsisters, yeah that works.

Even more so in this garb. I feel completely over dressed or should I say under dressed due to the lack of clothing I'm wearing. Amy also said not worry about staring at Potter she herself did that when she first saw he got Head Boy.

I finally made it back to my normal compartment and said bye to Daniel. He is so gorgeous. Wished he liked me as more than a friend, wishful thinking I know.

Rhi and Nessa commented on my outfit. I gave them a strained smile, I was still in shock and thoroughly embarrassed by James Potter. I

told the girls about Potter being Head Boy and their mouths dropped. But this led Bridget into a rant about a hotness of the Marauders with added comments from Dana. I have zoned out and am currently writing in here.

I just told them about my embarrassing moments at the prefects meeting and they're now howling with laughter.

Ha Ha Ha!

NOT!

That's all for now while I go brutally beat some sense into my delinquent friends.

* * *

**Later – Girl's Dorm**

I would dearly love to castrate Regulus Black. **Without** anaesthetic! That would make him scream! grins evilly The little tosser turned my hair green and silver at dinner. The sorting was as boring as ever and Alice Prewett was talking to me when she suddenly screamed about my hair.

I swear Black is going down. He will be so unbelievably sorry when I'm finished with him.

I was leading the first years with Remus to the common room and who should pop up? Black! It took al my self control not to hex him then and there. For some reason Remus got rather upset by the sight of Black and I assured him the brainless sot was only _trying_ to gloat over my hair.

Ugh! I soooo have to get him back for that, the deceitful pillock!

I was talking to Sophie Baxter once I got to the common room. She's the original gossip and can talk the hind legs off a donkey, Sophie's a Gryffindor 7th year. Anyways she told me how Samantha and Aaron had a massive fight over Sam flirting with other guys, yet again. Whoever Sam and Aaron are, I am now fully up to date on their relationship and their future prospects.

Dear god, I should know better by now never to talk to Sophie on the first night back from holidays.

She proudly told me that she is dating Potter (Woop-te-doo), they met up in Diagon Alley about a week ago and have been going strong from there.

Sigh.

Another one falls for the Potter charm. I didn't have the heart to tell her two weeks are almost up and her heart will soon be mercilessly crushed.

Aren't they all?

* * *

**September 2nd – History of Magic**

Soooo bored, can feel my brain physically breaking down due to lack of neuron activity. And the fact that it's so cold in here doesn't help either. Has Binns never heard of central heating?

Obviously not.

Not that a ghost actually needs to worry about heating. They're dead.

Yeah well not all of us are and happen to have a fully functioning nervous system that _needs_ heat.

It's not cold like a little nippy so your cheeks become rosy. I mean full on freezing conditions where you are delusional and sure your fingers about to drop off from frost bite.

I swear there are polar bears roaming around about two rows up, chasing penguins.

Poor penguins.

Wait a second.

Screw the penguins they probably lured the penguins here in attempts of revenge. Revenge for what you ask? The Mary Poppins movie, of course! I mean who wouldn't want revenge after such a misleading representation. The penguins will never be taken seriously again.

Daniel just looked over my shoulder and read my opinion of penguins and is now shaking with silent laughter.

_I don't care what you think Daniel, penguins are evil and everyone believes their innocent cos they look like they're dressed in tuxedos._

_Well guess what? There not! It's a sham!_

_They're wolves in sheep's clothing!_

**Sure they are Lils, the little penguins, I mean that literally, are going to take over the world and force us to be their lowly slaves.**

_Exactly, Voldemort should be riding the world of penguins, not muggles and muggleborns in his hopes of world domination. And was that a slant on height Daniel Diggory? Just because were not all 6ft 2 giants is no reason to underestimate abilities._

**Er…I didn't know _penguins_ were such a threat and I certainly didn't mean to insult any certain penguins height**

_Are you insinuating I am a penguin?_

**No! Never! Why would I do such a thing? Penguins are evil **

**And why is that again?**

_They want revenge for the dismal representation of their race in Mary Poppins and don't you forget it._

**Mary who?**

**You know the movie my little brother dean was watching when you came over on the holidays, the one with the singing and dancing** **cartoons.**

**…**

He gets it. He's just unable to answer from laughing so much. He just stumbled away to another desk to stop himself from hyperventilating and calm down.

When you think about it the penguins have a pretty good case. Who wouldn't ant revenge for being made out to be like that? They were publicly humiliated to the world with those terribly squeaky voices and cheesy dances.

Daniel is still laughing and now trying to convince Cam of my insanity while still laughing and clutching his stomach.

Cam of course is questioning Daniel's mental state and looking and looking at him as if he has lost all sense of reality.

I just smile innocently and shrug my shoulders.

Daniel is still bent over from laughing. Glad _he_ finds it amusing. I bet he's warm now from all that laughing. Buggar warm, he's on fire. Bloody hell, he's soooo hot! Sigh. Reality has hit me that he will never like me back.

Damn reality to hell and back.

I just read over that conversation and I have o say it was rather … Flirty!

Not just on my part either, Daniel did his fair share of flirting too!

Let me read it again

My god! He was! He was! Yay! Daniel Diggory, absolute heart throb, was flirting with me, Lily Evans, resident klutz of Hogwarts!

That's it, I have died and gone to heaven!

* * *

**Dinner**

Somebody's gonna pay, big time!

I have a slight addiction to chocolate chip cookies and would you believe it I turn my back for one minute and bam! The bloody platter is picked clean and I'm left with a sickening yearning for a sugar hit.

I think this calls for an expedition to the kitchens! Don't sound surprised by my knowledge of the school kitchens, not all my disasters end in tragedy.

Dana, Bridget and Rhi, all reckon it's more trouble than it's worth to sneak off to the kitchens but Nessa's always up for an adventure. Plus she missed out on her favourite ice cream cos she was chatting up some 5th year.

Shakes head

To the kitchens, away!

To be continued …

A/N: Next chapter includes:

Kitchens

Cantaloupes

Pranks

And much more

Remember to review!!!


	3. Addictions and Space Cadets

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

A/N: Sorry about reposting the whole story but I felt it necessary. Thanks for all the input and encouragement; it really is appreciated. Thankyou so much to my patient reviewers who put up with my fart arsing about and horrible use of grammar.

Oh my giddy aunt can you believe I forgot the disclaimer again?! Probably since I'm such a scatter brain but here goes:

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

So here goes

* * *

Continues from September 2nd –

**Girls Dorm**

Did I ever mention how bad addictions are for you? I didn't? Well I am now. Never, ever, ever get yourself addicted anything and I mean anything. It can only lead you into trouble. As I just discovered

There should be a warning sign around here saying:

**WARNING!**

Do **NOT** speak to Lily while she is eating a chocolate chip cookie if you want an answer that_ makes sense_.

I also believe my foot has taken permanent residence in my mouth. It seems so comfortable there that I have a sneaking suspicion my foot has even crocheted little doilies to put vases of flowers on.

Very Homely

Nessa and I went up to our dorm and changed into our pyjamas (Finally rid myself of the hooker look). Big jumper (it's actually my muggle friend Dean's) and the _holy _sweat pants.

Extremely comfortable

Only thing missing: the cookies

.

We put on our cloaks and slipped down to the kitchens.

The house elves were wonderful and brought us just what we wanted – a platter of chocolate chip cookies (Heaven!) and a tub of old English toffee ice cream (taste sooo good with cookies)

For a while we talked about our summers but then fell into a comfortable silence of our own thoughts. I was immersing myself in the wonderfulness that is a chocolate chip cookie when all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my ribs.

Nessa was elbowing me and whispering something.

"The Marauders"

I just gave her a blank look.

"The Marauders"

I was still dazed "The who?"

"Not The Who, the Marauders"

"What do you mean the Marauder's? And why are you whispering?"

"The _Marauders_!" This time more urgent accompanied with wide eyes and a head tilt

" First you're on about The Who and now you're on about the Marauders! Well who _are_ the sodding Marauders?!" I screamed at Nessa

Nessa gave an exasperated sigh

"Over there you idiot, where I was pointing"

Well that was bloody helpful. I was too busy trying to figure what the devil she was talking about to notice what she was doing with her hands.

I looked over in the general direction and sure enough there stood Black and Potter staring at us, actually more at me when I think about it.

Oh My Giddy Aunt! That can't be good and of course they noticed us, what with me screaming at Nessa and all.

Black sauntered over, closely followed by Potter.

Uh. Oh. Not good

"My dear, fair lady, have you not heard of the Marauders?"

I felt the blood rushing to my face. Sodding fair skin. Black looked quite insulted and indignant and Potter had a sour look on his face as well. I bit my lip, praying they wouldn't take this personally.

No need to fear, my dear friend Nessa will help me out and remove my embarrassment, taking all the blame herself.

"Don't mind her Black, she was off in la la land with her bleeding cookies and thought I was talking about something else"

Or not.

Thanks Nessa, make me sound like a complete basket case why don't you, but wait you didn't mention I have my own 'special' room at St. Mungo's. I mean come on, I'm not that bad. And who can't get lost in sugariness of oven baked goods, especially those including chocolate chips?

Them obviously

I think I had every right to be completely lost. I mean first I was rudely interrupted and did not register what Nessa was talking about. Then she mentioned The Who and I thought she was on about music, muggle music at that! So I was utterly bewildered as to what our discussion was about.

But somehow I don't think Black or Potter would have appreciated this explanation or seen it my way so I left the talking to Nessa. She's on the quidditch team with Black and Potter so she knows them personally and can carry off the conversation with them.

Nessa started talking and distracted the disgruntled duo with quidditch (great, why couldn't she have done that before) leaving me to either join in or just sit their.

Of course this just meant I floated off into the world of sugary dough and creamy chocolate, saying silent thanks to the creator of my favourite baked good. Who ever first thought that sweet dough with chocolate bits mixed through it would taste good baked in a hot oven deserves the biggest pile of gold Gringotts possess.

Again I felt an elbow dig into my side

"What?!" My turn to be annoyed

Nessa just glared and nodded towards the Marauders

"Yes?" Oh great Potter this time

"You really weren't listening were you?" Bloody smart arse

"No I wasn't or else we wouldn't be having this conversation"

Ha! Bet you weren't expecting that answer, were you? But of course it's Potter, he wasn't put off at all and just smirked at me.

I have a feeling I will come to hate that smirk with all my being

"Well it was good talking to you Nessa, and your space cadet friend, but we gotta go. Bye and don't forget tryouts on Saturday I want the whole team there."

_Space cadet?!_ Excuse me, just because I don't find their conversation engaging I'm a lunatic off in La La land with all my fairy friends. They probably think I'm a schizo or something. Yeah, well, I don't think too highly of Potter and Black either but at least I'm polite about it.

Nessa wouldn't stop laughing all the way back to Gryffindor tower and almost got us caught by Filch. I had to threaten her with a silencing spell before I could get any peace.

I mean honestly it's not that funny. I just ignored, infuriated and insulted the two most popular boys in school and made myself look like a complete nitwit. No biggie.

Wait a second just reread that

Oh crap…

I'm dead

* * *

**September 3rd – Potions **

grins psychotically I just got Black back for that childish hair prank, such an amateur. The stupid git will be red and gold for weeks!

Well since he used a colour changing charm as his prank and did such a rotten job of it, it lasted hardly two hours, I decided to show him how to do things properly. I did a couple of charms on his potion so he would make a colour dying potion instead of the assigned one, adding my own personal touch once it was done.

The assigned potion was a shivering potion (though why you'd want to make someone shiver I don't know) and luckily the colour dying potion has that as a temporary side affect at first.

Black thought his potion worked and was smirking at those who were having trouble controlling their potions. Then Jenkins (his partner) looked over and started shouting about Black being a blood traitor and a disgrace to his house.

Hilarious. Bloody Hilarious.

I'm shaking with laughter at the moment so my writing is rather messy but what the hell, I just had to document this so I can permanently engrave it into my memory later.

He's glowing gold at the moment and the lion I added to the back of his robes is roaring every time he opens his mouth.

Even Professor Yoghurty (Fogarty) thinks Black brewed the potion himself and got the colours mixed up. Probably from a lack of suspects but still…

Oooh! She just gave him detention for abusing the privilege of using potion ingredients form the students store cupboard and not following class instructions, and took off house points.

The psychotic grin is still in place and will be for quite a while.

Life's sweet

**Common Room**

Absolutely sick of homework. If I have to write one more bleeding inch on the likes of Wendelin the weird or Uric the Ugly I swear I'll scream. And it will be loud, you'll need sound proof earmuffs. You'll be knocked out from the frequency of my scream.

The professor who invented homework (it certainly wasn't a student) should be dragged out in to the street and shot, whether they are wizard, muggle or other wise. Well they should receive a very stern talking to anyway.

It's just brain numbing, my brain has deactivated itself and my nervous system has closed up shop due to lack of stimulation. (Not like that, you dirty people) You go limp and then aliens invade through your nasal passage and ear canals, taking you over as a human host.

Oh dear little carried away there, to many sci-fi movies or maybe it was that alien conspiracy show I saw the other week. Yeah, that's it, what was it again…. The New Rosell or Roselle or something like that! I got it The New Roswell! Aliens. Men in Black. Pft! Those Americans sure have some imagination. I tell you their imaginations must be overactive to the point of melt down.

On a much more pleasant note: Dinner.

I'm not talking about the food, though that was delicious.

No I'm gloating about Black.

Black came into the great hall in all his Gryffindor glory. The three house tables immediately laughed themselves into hysterics. While the Slytherins glared with every bit of malice they contained at the Marauders.

My psychotic grin was still in place but I felt a tiny bit annoyed that the marauders got all the credit. I mean I did the research and I pulled off and yet they get the glory! Oh well so long as I get to enjoy Black's humiliation and get off Scott free, who cares.

The Marauders were all doubled over in laughter. Remus however gathered his wits and stood up on his chair getting everyone's attention. Then to my disbelief made a statement.

" As much as we, the Marauders, would like to take the credit of the flawless execution of this prank, I must inform you all that we had no involvement in this prank what so ever. And before you give us detention professor McGonagall remember that the marauders always claim their pranks. It would be unbelievably rude of us to let you all think this prank is ours. I would like to congratulate the person responsible on behalf of myself and the other Marauders"

With that he sat down but not before winking at me.

I think my grin grew larger if that's possible.

I always knew I liked Remus best for a reason

Professor McGonagall looked quite relieved and even had a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. I think it was because for once she didn't have to deduct house points from her own house.

And Remus had definitely done a good job of keeping her quiet. I swear she was opening her mouth to scream detention just as Remus addressed her.

The best part of all this is the dye won't come out for at least a week!

Sweet!!!

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Thankyou for reading my fan fic, I know there's heaps so thankyou for taking the time to read the workings of my psychotic mind unleashed. Here are some replies to reviews from the story when it was posted the first time:

**Thirty2flavours:** thankyou having a critical eye, it helps when you know how to improve the story. Plus my grammar and spelling are disgustingly bad so the tips really help. Thanks again!

**Tekra Ariel:** thanks for the review. I know what you mean, this is my world and how I think. Completely deranged I know. My friends find my melodramatic antics incredibly funny and are constantly asking "How can you be so klutzy?" About the Fleur thing well I reckon they can just be cousins or some thing of that nature.

**Pasmosa:** I'm glad you think it's conversational and funny, that's what I was aiming for. Thankyou for the encouragement. I really like your story and it's got me hooked!

**Dim Twilight:** thankyou and I am terribly sorry for not responding to your review before hand I am a horrid person. But I'm glad you found it funny.

**Muses' Advocate:** someone else who agrees on the whole klutz thing, I'm positively awful and do not have one graceful bone in my body. Thanks for reviewing I know it takes heaps to find a way through the Harry Potter site. I'm glad someone agrees with me about Peter also.And it's okay I babble too like right now! Thanks again

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Please review!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**September 4th – The Weekend, Breakfast **

Can I just ask who in their right minds holds quidditch practice at 5:30am on a SATURDAY MORNING?! I swear Potter's gone troppo! Why does this affect me seeing as I am not on the house team? One word

Nessa

She had the nerve to wake me up at 5am! What an ungodly hour, I was spitting chips I can tell you. Then I found out Potter was the reason for my early morning wake up call. I was not a happy chappy.

I don't know what it is with Vanessa but she demands that at least one of us come watch her first Quidditch practice of the year and tryouts. And all hell breaks lose if even one of us misses a Quidditch game.

Something to do with emotional and moral support

Anyway first Nessa dragged me out of bed and then threw ice cold water on Rhi. Needless to say there was countless screams from our dormitory. Rhi just turned over and quickly cast a repelling charm on her bed.

Damn! Why didn't I think of that?!

We tried to wake Bridget and Dana but gave up after having a vase thrown at us.

We're persistent but not stupid.

The twins can get quite ugly if you wake them up to early. Sometimes there eyes do the vela thing and go red and they start with the fireballs.

When we came down the stairs I was feeling extremely grumpy and as you may have guessed I am not a morning person. This was sheer hell.

The sight that greeted us did nothing to improve my mood. Daniel, Tristan and Cam were all grinning like Cheshire cats.

"Not a word" was all I managed to grit out through my clenched teeth.

Once we got outside the castle and were making our way across the grounds the boys thought it was safe to speak up.

"Lovely morning to celebrate life, wouldn't you say?" Cam, always the smart arse

They obviously heard me screaming death threats at Nessa for waking me so early. Can I say in my defence that no one but sport obsessed psychos get ups this early on a weekend

"Yes, I just love waking up to your sweet, melodic tones on a Saturday" Sarcasm from Daniel, how thoughtful (here the dripping of sarcasm)

They definitely heard the screams

"And I have to say your early morning beauty just radiates from your being rendering me speechless" and of course one of Tristan's _compliments._

The last comment referring to my appearance sent me over the edge. I was fully aware of my tousled hair and bloodshot eyes before Tristan drew attention to them.

I cast a quick refreshing spell on myself, clearing my eyes and making my hair smooth, well less mussed anyway.

I gave they a death glare before making my way over to the stands, cam following me. He isn't on the quidditch team but comes due to the death penalty imposed upon him from both Tri and Nessa. We found seats that were going to be exposed to the sun once it rose.

The grounds of Hogwarts are captivating but at 5:30am I couldn't care if they resembled a rotting swamp. So I glared at the players while Cam hummed some tune under his breath.

The practice went …well.

All I can say is that I sure am glad I ain't on the quidditch team cos Potter is a bloody slave driver! He had the team and all the wannabes do sooo many exercises and drills I was about to keel over due to the exhaustion of watching them.

Wannabes is the name Cam and I have given to all the hopefuls that come to try outs each year. This year they need a new beater and a reserve seeker so there was lots and lots of people out there.

Tristan and Nessa worked as seamlessly as ever together doing the chaser drills. Potter was observing the wannabes. It's surprising how well tri and Nessa get on while on the field cos they do nothing but bicker off it.

After about an hour of intense work out Potter let them all have a rest.

Tri and Nessa immediately sped over; as soon as they got off their brooms they began picking at each other's style. They weren't allowed to say anything negative on the field or else Potter would eat them.

Daniel calmly flew over and I handed him his water bottle. He looks so good after he's been having a quidditch work out. And it is definitely a work out with all three of our excellent chasers ditching balls at past him. But he hardly ever lets the quaffle in so it okay.

Cam had to step in between Tri and Nessa cos there disagreement had escalated so much it was about to get physical.

I stood next to Daniel looking out at the grounds as the sun came over the hill. Oh my god it was gorgeous. It was like a curtain was being pulled back leaving the grounds washed in colour and golden light.

Can you say romantic? Awww

I felt like I was in heaven

Daniel. Me. The sunrise

Sigh

Perfect

However…

Potter can't just let a good thing be. He had to start practice back up again just then, at that precise moment.

Tosser

"Hey love birds, I hate to interrupt but we sorta need someone to defend the hoops!" Potter called up to us with a very nasty glare at Daniel.

Jeez, it wasn't even Daniel's fault; I was the one coming on to him. I sent Potter the most evil look I could muster and what should appear, that damned smirk.

At 8:30 practice finally finished and I was free to scamper off and get breakfast. Was also determined to wake up the twins and force them to come and endure quidditch tryouts with me. Cam, Dana, Brig and myself have a tradition of writing off each wannabe as they try out. Heaps of fun!!!

Also they can flirt with Potter and Black so there is no need for me to make a complete fool of myself. I have no idea why but suddenly Potter has taken it upon himself to annoy and embarrass the hell out of me.

I mean he has been Quidditch captain for the last two years and here the whole time I have been here and just out of the blue he decides I'm a good victim.

What a pillock!

I will have to talk with the rest of the girls on this issue. No point asking Tri or Cam, they wouldn't know about this sort of thing, at least I don't think they would.

* * *

**Library **

I am seeking refuge in the library as the common room is a death trap for anyone who should unsuspectingly wander in there. The Marauders decide to set a couple of pranks. By a couple I mean about 15.

The girls dormitory is also unsafe because Dana is dating the new Ravenclaw quidditch captain and Nessa is rather… upset about it. She said something along the lines of 'dating the enemy'. That didn't go down well.

Not well at all.

Always the peacekeeper, Rhi is trying to calm them down so they don't throttle each other. I think Brig went to get reinforcements (namely Tri and Cam) in the hopes of getting Nessa to realise it isn't a treacherous act.

Fat chance

Once Nessa gets something into that pretty little head of hers there's no hope of ever forcing her to see your point of view. You have to let her come round in her own time. I know that one from experience.

So her I am in the dusty study area procrastinating as much as possible, waiting for my transfiguration essay to do it's self. Stupid Badgers! I will never understand the need to know how to transfigure a school desk into a badger but that's the essence of this damned essay.

I really should start it

But really what's another hour?

My thought's exactly

Nothing

By the way I hope I never have to endure another quidditch tryout again. The poor little wannabes were worked to the bone and then had to put up with Potter's long and tedious process of selection.

I swear it wasn't that long last year. Event he twins got bored of perving. Yes, it was that bad.

Though it may have been the bunch of girls who are Potter and Blacks devoted fan club. I happened to be sitting next to the two biggest groupies ever.

Dana and Bridget.

It I am subjected to the Potter-and-Black-are-so-hot rant one more time I will walk myself off the astronomy tower. Closely followed by Cam. We ended up clinging to each other in fear that one would snap and throttle the twins.

Once practice was over we climbed down to see Tri, Nessa and Daniel unfortunately Potter was still talking to them about scoring. Black was hanging around waiting for Potter. The twins saw this as the perfect opportunity to become better acquainted with Black.

I must say Black extremely pleased about having two gorgeous girls vying for his attention and ending up offering them each an arm and escorting Dana and Brig to breakfast.

Oh so loyal, that one

Cam had already disappeared to lunch saying that Nessa would get over it. This left me completely alone with Potter giving his inspirational speech. I waited on a seat of the stands for them to finish.

Just when I thought I couldn't sit there any longer Daniel appeared.

"Let's go, they're gonna be a while"

Uh Oh. Tri and Cam are not gonna be happy when they back

And they certainly weren't. That's part of the reason why Nessa exploded… she was grumpy to say it nicely.

Well I better get that damn essay done. Damn it.

* * *

**Monday 6th September – Potions **

Ugh! I have to be the ultimate klutz I can't do anything right!!! I'm having an awful day and I just wish I could curl up and die a perfectly normal and ordinary death. But oh no that is too much to ask now is it I have to die a humiliating and degrading death.

Death by klutzdom

Sounds like a ice cream of some sort.

Humph! I wish! I seem to be even worse today in the awkward department.

First I fell out of bed, literally I was rolling over and next thing I know my bed has disappeared and I'm on the floor. Nessa found this to be insanely funny as she was already up and had seen the whole thing.

One good thing was that I woke the twins up with my muffled scream.

"What the feck was that?!" groaned Dana poking her head out from her curtains, glaring at the room as I tried in vain to untangle myself from the bed clothes.

And that ladies and gentlemen is why you must never wake a Declour twin. The term let sleeping dragons lie was invented for a reason.

Hey, I had to deal with a massive sheet, a thick, heavy doona, two woolly blankets and the bleeding curtains of my bed as well. I was trying so hard not to panic but I kept getting even more knotted up in the damn bedding.

I had to start whimpering before anyone would help me and even then it was Rhi who was my saviour. The other three were rolling on their beds with laughter at my predicament.

With friends like mine you don't need enemies.

I think I have tripped down an unfathomable amount of stairs today. Seriously, I tripped twice on the way to breakfast. But one doesn't count because I was trying to miss the trick step.

Didn't work I ended up tripping on Dana's shoelace and Cam had to help me out. He was grinning like an idiot as well though why I have no idea. Wait yes I do. My friends find my misadventures exceedingly funny.

As I said, with friends like these…

The morning wasn't so bad I managed to get by with only minimal accident such as:

I spilt ink all over Olivia Russo from Ravenclaw

Accidentally set my fanged geranium I was supposed to be caring for on a Hufflepuff during herbology

During the same herbology lesson I slipped on some spare dragon dung and went head first into the Venemous Tentacula. Just my luck it was teething and the sodding thing almost murdered me.

Take out a second year Slytherin with my bag as I swung it on to my shoulder as break ended.

Jeez I can't think what I've done to make myself this klutzy but I'm having the clumsiest day in the history of Hogwarts. Though my favourite klutz moment for today is definitely at the end of charms.

It's an extremely easy subject so I had nothing to do all lesson. Bridg is absolutely awful at it and was scribbling till the very last second of class. We were all waiting for her to pack away her stuff.

Tri and Cam had already gone claiming they would die of starvation if they didn't leave right away. But they did promise to save us seats so alls forgiven.

I got sick of standing up so I put my stuff down and sat on the desk.

Bad move one

This knocked my bag and consequently my book fell off the other side of the desk. It was a long row of desks so I had to walk round to get my book off the ground. As I swung round to the other side of the desk my transfiguration homework came lose and flew off in the opposite direction to the one I was going.

Perfect. Bloody Perfect

So stopped mid step and tried to decide which one to get first.

I decided to get the pencil case first because I sure of its whereabouts. I picked that which ended and then went to retrieve my homework. It turns out it had rolled under a desk so I ended up getting down on all fours and crawling under the bleeding thing.

When I emerged I noticed I had quite an audience, my friends were rolling their eyes at me because I was keeping them from their lunch. Also standing in the door way was Potter, seems he had been there to see the whole fiasco.

Damn it.

Why must I always have an audience for my appalling moments and yet god has the good grace to let every one else feck up in private?

I may never know the answer and I don't really want to what it would be because I just know it wouldn't be at all in my interests. Black probably cast some ancient voodoo that makes it physically impossible for me not to embarrass myself when in public.

Sucks to be me

Potter was trying, in vain might I add, to keep a straight face and his eyes were dancing with laughter.

Tosser. Just because he never has these completely degrading moments he feels no compassion for those that are physically incapable of not being a victim of their own actions damn it!

Right now I am supposed to be brewing some potion or other, I didn't bother to listen what Yougharty was on about, but Rh insisted that she did so whatever. I think I will spend the lesson dreaming about Daniel. Then maybe I will be able to forget I am having a god awful day.

Sounds good

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Thankyou to my lovely sweet reviewers who took the time to read the musings of my scattered mind:

**Musicizdbest**: I've never heard of that book but I will be sure to read it! Actually I'm West Australian and I'm an English Literature student so my diction has to be good. I'm glad you like the story and thankyou for your review!

**CrystallizedLily**: I know what you mean, I'm a complete klutz as well. I take many of the things that happen to me I take and alter to fit Hogwarts (the charms incident actually happened only with a pencil case not charms homework), so some of the things aren't made up to an extent. Thanks for the review!

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Remember to Review!!!

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	5. Chapter 5

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

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**Tuesday 7th September History of Magic **

Ugh! Sodding history of magic should not be compulsory. Or they should employ a teacher who actually teaches not just drowns on and on.

Yeah and that will be the day pigs fly without magic

I am getting rather worried

I turned Black gold and scarlet a couple of days ago and he still hasn't got me back for it. He either has something really horrible or can't think of anything decent pranks to pull.

I'll be optimistic and go with the latter

I mean he has the IQ of a troll and is only just scraping past on his grades and then it's because he cheats off all his mates, he possesses no natural talent what so ever.

Stupid wanker doesn't even know when to keep his mouth shut

I am talking about the first prefects meeting of the year which was a complete waste of time. Poor Amy was almost tearing out her hair by the end.

Everything was going fine, Amy started we the spiel about how prefects job is to assist the teachers and keep fellow housemates and students in order. Looking particularly at Remus and Potter. Not that they took any noticed.

Cheese and mice! Half the Marauders are student authority figures, talk about a corrupt system! I'm still bewildered as to how James Potter managed to become Head Boy, well I suppose some mysteries will never solved.

Any way back on topic, once Amy asked for suggestions for what we could do for Christmas as Dumbledore said he would like to hold a ball to boost school moral, all hell broke lose.

One Hufflepuff suggested that we have a muggle themed ball to encourage relations between wizards and muggles. Hufflepuffs are such kind souls they come up with the sweetest and most thoughtful ideas. Many of us agreed that was an excellent idea.

Black however was not impressed to say the least.

How he became a prefect is even more puzzling than Potter's appointment as Head Boy. His mummy probably bought it for him. That woman is a complete lunatic, she probably bribed the Slytherin head of house, there's no way he got the badge for good behaviour or good marks.

As I was saying, Black was not a happy chappy about the prospect of donning muggle clothes and dancing around to a bunch of muggle songs.

"Ugh! As if we want to go round looking lie a bunch of disgusting muggles, shut up you stupid little mudblood"

Right, that was uncalled for and Black was being a prick insulting the poor girl. I personally didn't like the sound of the ball either, I absolutely detest all those disgustingly frilly dresses and all the other elaborate rituals that goes with a ball, but that was going to far.

Amy was horrified by Blacks words and Potter got out his wand in preparation to hex the living daylights out of his filthy hide. Pft! Why should he have all the fun?

"Shut your mouth Black, before I hex you into next week!" I said standing to face him

Black stood up as well the rest of the sixth years and some of the fifth years backed away from us. The rest of our year is well aware of our mutual hate and tries to keep out the way when we take to killing one another. The fifth years that backed off were the ones from Gryffindor and Slytherin that have witnessed our fights, or been caught in the crossfire.

Everyone else was rather curious as to what these two sixth years were about to do to one another.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Mudblood Queen, of course you're all in favour of this disgraceful ball, aren't you?"

Oh for the love of all things holy, can't he come up with anything better, the rest of the room was silent and extremely interested as to how this would end.

"Oh please Black, haven't you got anything better than that? I mean after being called the same thing everyday for five years, the term mudblood has surprisingly little affect, not that it actually means anything anyway"

Black just glared at me for a second

"You're a disgrace to the wizarding world mudblood, you and your little Hufflepuff friend"

"Black can we please stop discussing you for two minutes, everyone already knows you and your family are a bunch of inter bred psychos, and get back to the ball which happens to be a great idea"

Black looked like he was ready to blow up. Hey, I might as well make Black angry as hell by going along with the ball thing, I mean it's not compulsory I go. Plus it seems to really tick Black off.

"How dare you insult my family you piece of filth?!"

"I dare because you're a pompous jerk with a sick, sadistic mind"

"Why you little –" he raised his wand to curse me

"Petrificus Totalus"

Black froze and fell backwards onto the floor, no one ran to his aid. I turned back to the rest of the room. I glared at the Slytherins, twirling my wand, daring them to help Black and then smiling at the rest of the room.

"Right so back to what Mary was saying, I think that a muggle ball would help a lot with the connections between the two worlds. I mean it gives people from wizarding families a look at muggle traditions. And it shows people from muggle families that you don't have to lead to completely different lives"

I flashed my award winning smile at the room and looked at Amy and Potter since their in charge and the ones I have to suck up to if there was any chance I would get out of this hideously tight spot.

Amy was torn between wanting to congratulate me on finally getting Black to shut the hell up and screaming her head off at me for having the nerve to curse a fellow student (monster more like) right in front of the Head Boy and Girl and a room full of prefects. The fact that I was giving her my most charming smile didn't help.

Potter on the other hand looked quite amused by our little duel of words and wands. Though he didn't seemed to be bothered by the fact that Black was lying petrified on the ground.

"Yes, I agree, a muggle ball would have many benefits for the student body, thankyou for the suggestion Mary"

I shifted my charming smile to Potter. Maybe he isn't as bad as he seems, I mean here he is completely ignoring the fact I just hexed a prefect right in front of him. He's not giving me detention and that qualifies as nice in my book. He is partly forgiven for quidditch practice yesterday, not entirely but his act of kindness is taken into account.

Amy recovered and caught on to what Potter was doing. If they didn't acknowledge my hexing of Black they couldn't punish me. The rest of the meeting was pretty boring, though debate between the Ravenclaw sixth year, who wanted the astronomy tower to have a later curfew so he could get more of his _astronomy homework_ done, and Potter was rather entertaining.

Homework, pft! Who was he kidding he wanted to be allowed to extend his snogging sessions with his Hufflepuff girlfriend. I have caught them a few times and lets just say it involves saliva.

Lots of saliva

They looked like they were trying to eat each other. And they were basically on top of each other while standing up; I had no idea that was physically possible until I saw those two. Ugh, bad mental scarring!

The meeting ended and we were filling out the door when Amy called me back and then left me with Potter.

Damn! I knew it was to good to get off without detention

"You know that took some guts to hex the Slytherin prefect right in front of the Heads but I'm sensing you and Black don't generally get on…"

Uh oh, he wants me to elaborate, oh well he just ain't gonna get it.

"You could say that"

"Then what would you say?"

Geez, he really wants to know, maybe I should tell him 'curiosity killed the cat' but then again I'm not suicidal so…

"We're not friends" It was worth a shot

He raised his eyebrows clearly ticked off about not being able to get a straight answer

"Okay, let's put it this way, either you explain what that was about or it's a detention"

My turn to raise my eyebrows. Only one detention? He seemed to realise what I was thinking.

"Wait make that a week"

Damn! Now I have to tell him

" Fine. Black and I don't get on at all, not since we first met on the Hogwarts express. He annoys me constantly about being muggleborn and plays pathetic pranks on me for no reason what so ever. We have regular fights like that one only Black usually ends up in the hospital wing with leeks sprouting from his ears. Can I go now?"

I said all this extremely fast, for me at least, and in one breath. Potter looked a bit dazed at the end of my little speech.

"Er…sure"

I was almost at the door when Potter said something I least expected

"Hey what's your name by the way?"

My eyes widened slightly, I just realised my name has never actually been said in his presence and I don't know anyone who would talk to Potter about me so it was a valid question.

"Lily Evans" and I ran out before he could ask me anything else

Strange boy, why he would want to know about me I don't know. It's probably I good thing I don't come to think of it. I mean every time I see him I come off as an absolute arse, not that I particularly care what James Potter thinks of me. I don't particularly like him as a person, he and the Marauders never stop to think about other people's feelings when pulling their pranks.

I know I sound like a terrible hypocrite, but I'm not because what Black and I have is a prank war, solely between the two of us. The Marauders however, just go around pranking random people. That's not nice.

Then they have the guts to turn around and say it's all in harmless fun! Pft! They hurt innocent peoples feelings by publicly humiliating them all in harmless fun. At least Black and I admit we're malicious, unlike the Marauders who feign innocence.

Wait, then why the hell do I care if Potter thinks I'm an arse?

* * *

**Thursday 8th September Ancient Ruins **

**I am absolutely seething and Regulus Black will be dead by dinner**.

* * *

**Common Room**

As I have said before Regulus Black is the bane of my existence and I have an alarmingly strong desire to see him dead. I am having a hard time deciding between lynching and the drawn and quartered package deal.

Decisions, decisions

How about both?

You know how I was saying the stupid arse hadn't got back at me yet for the colour changing thingy, well let's just say I took the wrong option when I decided to be optimistic.

I was in ancient ruins when an owl came to the window and tapped its claws on the glass pane to come in. Montgomery was out of the room so a Ravenclaw boy let it in. The eagle owl flew straight to me.

"What the –?"

I opened the letter and immediately dropped the letter.

A green potion oozed out on to the floor making sickening scorching noises and emitting a disgusting acidic reek.

That sneaky little tosser!

It was an illegal dark arts potion it has to do with disfiguration, permanent disfiguration. Very nasty. I can't for the life of me remember the name but I do know that it gives you the common sense and intelligence of a lemming as well as making the Hunch Back of Notre Dame look like a beauty queen in comparison to the victim.

Sodding Black

I only recognised it because I had been doing my Defence Against the Dark Arts research assignment on potions and had come across this the other day. It is one nasty potion and it requires a decent amount of skill to make.

Through out Ancient Ruins I sat shaking in anger, shredding my quill

Montgomery always lets us out late so I literally sprinted to Gryffindor tower to drop my stuff off. Rhi and Daniel knew I was about to commit murder and were trying in vain to keep up with me.

I streaked down to the Great hall like a bat out of hell.

I was on a mission and unless you have a death wish you do not get in my way when I'm pissed off.

Usually I'm calm, cool and collected, okay so not really collected, but I usually just go with the flow.

I stormed into the hall, I quickly found my friends who were waving me over, I was planning to scream at Black when dinner was over. However the same eagle owl from earlier flew over to me and dropped a slip of paper.

_Enjoy your last piece of mail?_

I turned my attention to the Slytherin table and stood up

"BLACK!!! GET YOUR SCALY ARS E OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!!!"

Black just stared at me as though I had grown an extra head; the pillock thought I would actually fall for his stupid prank

I was too busy staring daggers at Black to notice two people approach me.

"Er…Sirius, James what are you doing here?" Nessa asked

"Well the spitfire over there was screaming at me and giving scowls that would make Satan step back so I thought I better see what she wanted"

I wasn't paying any attention to their conversation and was still glowering at Regulus so I didn't even notice their presence I was told about this conversation later.

I pushed past two people who happened to be in front of me, it turned out to be Potter and Sirius Black, and strode off to kill Black with my own to hands seeing as he hadn't had the guts to even stand up.

Sodding Coward

I took out my wand as I went

"How dare you send me that potion you snivelling piece of filth?! I'm not stupid! I can tell a disfiguring potion when I see one!"

He just stared at me

"I ought to blast you to oblivion for that cheap, deceitful and not to mention lame attempt at a prank! Who brewed it for you by the way? Because I know that you certainly didn't make it yourself!"

I saw movement out the corner of my eye and round my wand on the person

"Snape, I should have known, you and Black seem to make quite the duo, since you can't be parted from each other, you both have detention! And forty points from Slytherin! Each!"

"You can't do that!" Snape snarled indignantly

"Just watch me" I hissed venomously

"Ha, ha, Reggie you got told!"

"Shut it black you're not much better than he is" Damn Sirius, why the hell did he have too turn up, him and Potter were laughing their heads off

That shut them up

"I am certainly nothing like that scabby mummy's boy vermin thankyou very much"

"Yeah? Well you're doing a damn good impersonation of him, being conceited jerk and all"

Oh two birds with one stone, I'm good

"Now if you'll excuse me I would like to finish my dinner, oh and Black next time don't use your own owl to deliver a prank, it's a tad obvious"

I can't wait for Black's detention; I will have so much fun with that one

* * *

Thankyou to all my wonderful reviewers, you all deserve gigantic chocolate chip cookies!!!

Thankyou for all the support


	6. Chapter 6

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

A/N: by the way I have just realised that I made a mistake and made the last entry Thursday 8th September when it should be Thursday 9th September! Sorry people please ignore my mistake, thanks.

* * *

**Saturday 11th September Girls Dorm**

I can't wait for tonight! It's Black's detention and _I'm _supervising it! I can make him do the nasty stuff and just say he was giving me cheek. I can antagonize him all I want and there's nothing he can do about it! I must have done a good deed lately because this is the best luck I've had in my life!

Insert manic grin here

Hell, I must have performed a bloody miracle to get this to happen! I know it sounds sadistic that I am getting this much pleasure from Black's misfortune but this is just a mellowed form of payback.

Oh I can't wait much longer I only have half an hour to go!!!!

(I can't believe I' counting the minutes till I see Black, I really am sad, I seriously need to get a life)

* * *

**Later, Dungeons**

Can I just say that this detention was just a cruel joke played on me by the forces of the universe. A very sad, very sick joke.

Stuff performing a miracle, I must have committed a sin so horrible the bible forbids mention of it.

Like picking your nose and eating it in public

Damn I have the worst karma, I better get on to _'sucking the poison from my life'_

I mean everything was going fine…

Black was miserable

I was ecstatic

But I should have known good things never last.

Black showed up at seven o'clock just like he was supposed to and I set him to work dissecting and pickling rats and was having an excellent time annoying him to death.

You know how some people pick on every little thing you do and give you the irrits so bad you just want to sock' em one? Yeah well I'm good at that and so I put my talent to good use on Black.

Some people call me pedantic or hair-splitting but I prefer the term _pays attention to detail._

Black was ready to stick rat guts in his ears. Pretty drastic considering how bad they smell, but that's how bad my incessant nagging is. I have to say I pity my future husband, if I can get one that is.

I was having a great time just plain giving Black the shits and wasn't even bothering to write in here because it was so entertaining.

But alas my good fortune abandoned me and my dream was shattered by a knock on the door at about 7:40

I got up and answered the door expecting to see some fourth year that had a note from McGonagall. As the door rolled back I realised it wasn't no fourth year.

Potter and Black stood smiling at me in a very charming manner

I just raised my eyebrows

"Detention with Smith" I sighed resigned to the fact that I had to look after both the Blacks tonight, but I'm pretty sure Sirius won't mind if I be a bitch to Regulus

"Okay Black go in and sit down, Kristy isn't here yet, what do you want Potter?"

"Er… I have detention too"

Now my eyes popped out of my head. Not only did I have to supervise Kristy's detention because she was snogging her boyfriend somewhere but I couldn't even take my frustrations out on Black.

Damn it!

I have the most rotten luck

So now I have resigned myself to sitting at the teachers desk, scribbling away in here, pointedly ignoring Sirius and Potter while shooting murderous glares at Black.

Stupid sodding Potter

How am I supposed to enjoy myself now with the Head Boy in detention and sitting only a couple of seats away? Bugger! Now I will never get to torture Black to the full potential. Sod it I might as well antagonize him with subtle insults.

Wait a second they're talking too me

"Sorry we're late"

I just shrug and turn my attention back to my diary

"So…what do we do?"

I shrug

"Whatever" Using my bored monotone voice, dead useful that when dealing with arrogant tossers.

They fell silent for bit and then started whispering to each other. I'm not really paying attention anymore. All the fun has been sucked out of my evening.

Damn fun suckers!

"Hey Evans, how come I have to dissect these ruddy rats while Black and Potter get to sit on their arses doing bugger all?"

No answer

"Well Evans is this blatant bias or are you just too lazy to get them something?"

"Because Black, they are not my responsibility and it's no concern of mine what they do. Smith was supposed to assign them something but she seems to have forgotten about the detention."

Snogging her bleeding boyfriend more like

"So, does that mean you don't really care what we do?"

"Uh, huh" I replied looking at my nails, I seriously have to file them sometime

"Oh come on, if they don't have to do anything I certainly don't"

"You know Black, I have to say that contrary to what your name suggests, you make a damn good blonde"

Black shot me a death glare

"And although you just seem to _love_ the colours Scarlet and gold, I have to say the pink would suit the ringlets much better"

Silence still

"Now get back to work before you find yourself the spitting image of Goldie Locks"

That made him get back to his work. I once made him a promise that he would resemble Goldie Locks and showed him a picture. He gets antsy every time I mention it.

"Wait a second, you did that?"

I turned my gaze to Sirius

"Did what?"

"Turned his hair " pointing at Regulus "into blonde ringlets, tied up into pigtails with pink bows" Sirius stated with a grin plastered on his face

I raised an eyebrow

"Do you really expect me to answer that? With the head boy sitting right next you?"

Sirius' grin broadened till it reached the manic stage. "Good point but you're not denying it, so that means yes"

"Not necessarily, you need a straight answer for conviction, which you most certainly won't get"

"So you've done something that is punishable for?"

I raised my eyebrow again

"Sirius everyone has done something that they deserve to be punished for with out getting caught, but no one is about to confess to the biggest blabber mouth in school with his best mate the Head Boy next to him" I said in a voice used when explaining to a small child or teaching parents to use the VCR. Never try that, Never; it's way too frustrating for any normal being. Though Rhi might be good at it, if she knew how to work a VCR.

Anyway… He must think I'm the biggest ditz to ask such stupid questions. Okay so he is not that far off the mark but I'm not about to admit anything with an authority personality present.

"Again good point but can I ask one more thing?"

"You just did"

"Can I shake your hand?"

"What?!"

That's it black's finally cracked

"Can. I. Shake. Your. Hand?" Pay back time should have seen that coming

"No need to patronize me, why do you want to shake my hand?"

"Because you're the one who gives my disturbed younger brother a walloping every time his over large head becomes inflated"

I just looked at him and rolled my eyes going back to filing my nails and then being completely and utterly bored

Black's slacking off again

"Black do you have a strange attraction to lace, taffeta, ribbons and pink? Because I would gladly fulfil your wish to become a drag queen" I said in a sickeningly sweet voice, twirling my wand.

Sirius and Potter started chuckling with the mental images created by this statement

"You wouldn't dare"

"Oh yeah try me, having Potter here doesn't really bother me, he and your _loving_ brother are not about to stick up for you"

The glare yet again but he didn't say anything more

Everything was quiet again until Black and Potter started whispering again only this time it was an argument of sorts.

Me, I'm happily doodling away in my notebook trying to envision what my wedding day to Daniel will look like and how good the name Lily Diggory sounds

Sigh

I have a problem, I seriously have a crush on Daniel and he doesn't even notice damn it! God, I know I'm not the best looking girl but I have a nice personality. So what if I have a temper that makes a Hungarian Horntail look sweet tempered. I have… other strong points I assure you, just what those points are I don't know but they're there…somewhere.

Oh what are those two squabbling about I swear they never shut up

"… just talk to her, she won't bite you"

"I dunno Padfoot, she has a pretty hot temper…"

"Come on Prongs, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Er… do I even have to answer that?"

"Wimp"

"Shut up Snuffles"

"Oi, don't call me that"

"Whatever… snuffles"

"You're asking for it Jamsie"

"I'm asking for it you're the on–"

Stupid dickweeds never bloody shut their pie holes

"Shut up already, will you? I don't want to here about!" okay, I snapped but I was about to strangle them both that's if I couldn't get to my wand first.

12 o'clock, thank bloody god

I really have had enough of their voices and Black, well having him in my presence without being allowed to hex and torture him is just plain unfair so I happy to say good bye to the three of them.

Stupid tossers

* * *

**Monday 13th September Dinner**

I hate Mondays. They should be outlawed. In case you haven't noticed I am not a morning person. My friends have all learned not to get in my way in the mornings if they like the current proportions of their faces.

To me another one of those 'too horrible to be mentioned' sins is waking a person before nine o'clock in the morning. Early mornings are deffinatly up their with the nose picking.

Plus my first two classes of the day are History of magic and ancient ruins; both teachers love to waffle on about nothing. Montgomery Loves to give tutorials on Mondays and I end up almost in tears from boredom. But I can always just lose myself in my favourite fantasy.

Hmmm, Daniel

Oh dear, I believe I have become obsessive over Daniel and that is not good because that would mean infatuation not real love, bugger. That's just depressing, moving on shall we…?

Oh yeah before I forget Flitwick asked me to tutor one of his 4th years that was having trouble. I've got to meet him in the Library at 7:30pm after dinner. Well it's not that bad last year I had to tutor some first years that couldn't get the hang of wingardium leviosar. Talk about nightmares. Hopefully he won't be and arrogant little sot and will co-operate… hey, a girl can dream!

Well wish me luck!

* * *

**Common Room**

Well that went surprisingly well! His name is Charlie and he's actually very nice. We talked for a while before we got started so that he would be more comfortable working with an older student.

"Hi I'm Lily, I'm your assigned tutor for charms"

He looked a little nervous so I smiled encouragingly

"Hi I'm Charlie, I'm a fourth year Gryffindor"

"Hey, me too! Well a Gryffindor that is. So Charlie how come you need tutoring?"

He groaned

"Because I'm awful at it"

"You can't be that bad…"

"I'm no Samantha Briggs if that's what you mean"

"Of course not, had a few too many bludgers to the head that one, a cantaloupe has more sense"

"A what?!"

"A cantaloupe"

"What? A type of deer?"

"No, a type of fruit, it's a melon actually"

"Oh"

"Okay, well first how about we learn a little about one another?"

"Okay"

"Right, I'll go first. I'm a sixth year, Gryffindor prefect and I'm muggleborn. I have one sister who's a muggle and I happen to be the biggest klutz to ever stumble the face of the earth"

He laughed at the last comment.

"My turn right? Where to start, well you already know I'm a Gryffindor fourth year but yeah, I'm from an old wizarding family and I have a pratish big brother who's an absolute tosser and refuses to give me tutoring himself because he has too much '_responsibility'_, which is bull dust he just can't be bothered."

I laughed, he's an okay kid this one

"Don't worry about older siblings, my sister is older and is a horrid cow when ever I come home on the holidays. She's a bit jealous that I got to be a witch and she didn't. Don't let anything your brother says upset you, I've only just met you but you seem like an alright kid to me"

"You seem pretty nice as well"

"Plus you tell him that if he annoys you again I'll come and hex him so bad the marauders won't even know how to set him right"

He grinned at me

"Thanks, I'll be sure to tell him that, he's a git most of the time but he can be alright some of the time"

After that we did a bit of work on his charm work, he's not that bad he just needs to touch up a couple of his techniques.

It's weird though, his grin seemed familiar some how. I must be hallucinating; I mean I just met the kid.

* * *

Thankyou to all my reviewers I appreciate your feedback very much!

**Deoxyrib Nucleic Acid:** Nice name by the way it sounds like something out of my human bio textbook! Which it probably is! Anyway…thankyou for the review and I'm glad you like the story!

**Tekvah Ariel:** thankyou for notifying me about the title, I'm an absolute shocker myself when it comes to spelling, disgustingly bad really. Thanks again for the pointer and your review!

**Windswept Star: **hey thanks for the name I will most likely use it and I'll go back and change it when I can be bothered. I'm glad you find my story entertaining and original, I love feed back like that, but not too much or else I'll end up like my art teacher with an ego the size of Antarctica! Well thanks again

**Musicizdbest:** I'm glad you like my story and find it funny; this is my usual ramblings only I have slightly verified them to suite Hogwarts. I can waffle on and ramble for ages if you let me, shocking really. I would love to be a political journalist, you get to travel the world and visit lots of places. Thankyou for the review!

All reviewers and future reviewers receive Birthday cake, as it was my Birthday on Tuesday. So Please remember to review!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Wednesday 15th September – Care of Magical Creatures**

I have just realised what sticky beaks my _darling_ friends are. They decided to update themselves on my love life. Not so bad I suppose if they had been asking me and involving me.

But this is my friends were talking about here

Instead of talking with me about my love life like normal human beings, they decided to hold a conversation _about_ me, instead of _with_ me. They started talking as though I wasn't there, the rude little wankers!

And normally when conversing about private matters such as a friend's crush you speak in hushed tones to respect privacy.

_But oh no, not my friends! _

It seems they don't think I capable of embarrassing myself thoroughly enough. So to add to my ever growing list of self inflicted humiliations, my charming friends adopt voices that can be heard on the planet Pluto.

It started off that Dana and Bridg were talking about how William Mackenzie and Jennifer Alberts would make such a good couple because they were talking at the Ravenclaw table.

I politely pointed out that they couldn't be, however Rhi decided to let her wicked side out for a run and asked me if I was jealous of Jennifer.

Cue Nessa, Bridget, Dana, Tristan and Cam

"Ooooh, Lily's got a crush on Wills"

"Yeah, she wants him bad"

"Looks she's going red, must be some truth in it"

"If you don't mind they are both involved with other people and Will has a girlfriend in Hufflepuff, that's why they can't be together" Stupid twats can't even get their gossip straight

"Oh"

Silent pause

"Well, really she's got her eye on Jonathon Davies in Hufflepuff, you know the charming blonde Quidditch captain"

"Really? He's not a bad catch you know"

"We should set them up"

"I am just here and could your lower your voices, you have half the hall's attention"

"Just half the hall?"

"We can do better than that!"

"I KNOW WHO HER PERFECT MATCH IS!!!"

"WHO?!"

"DANIE – "

I slapped my hand across Dana's mouth

"Complete that sentence and your own mother won't recognise you, understand" I threatened, they went to far with that one

Dana nodded and I turned back to plate

"DANIEL DIGGORY!!!"

I turned my head so fast I heard the air whistle through my ears

Dana grinned at me while I gave her glare that could cover the Gobi Desert in ice

The majority of the hall was looking at us wondering who it was Dana was talking about. My face was so red I made a phoenix look dull in comparison. I tried to hide my face in my custard tart.

What a refuge, resorting to creamy pudding pie to escape my friends. I am pitiful. Of course the majority of the student body has no idea as to who is Daniel's perfect match. But there are some that know I hang around with the twins and that I hang around with Daniel.

The Marauders

They were staring at us in strange fascination and Potter had quite a scowl on his face. I believe it is because Dana's outburst was inconveniently timed with a punch line of his joke.

A hyper active, almost hysterical girl shouting out potentially juicy gossip draws the attention of almost anyone in Hogwarts, especially Black and Potters fan club. And as I found out the hard way Potter doesn't like to be ignored

Ah well, he'll get over it in a second once his groupies return

My friends are just to god damn nosy for their own good! True, I never give them details about my crushes but come on, you expect the carbon copies to keep quite about something like this?

Oh no, I just realised I must be soooo obvious about Daniel! I mean, Potter mentioned it the other day and now even my friends are commenting. Fiddlesticks!

Now I will have to be extra careful. The one thing I am appallingly, horridly, despicably bad at is subtlety.

Oh Bollocks!

* * *

**Thursday September 16th – Defence Against the Dark Arts**

Ancient Ruins was so much fun!!!

Not exactly what you were expecting is it? But we had a substitute today cause Montgomery has dragon pox. And let's just say hieroglyphs are so much more fun with out a relic from the prehistoric era hovering over your shoulder.

Our sub, Professor Miolin, was one of the dopiest characters I have ever met, who ever let him in a classroom obviously had never witnessed his teaching style. The man is a complete push over with no backbone to speak of.

And as I have mentioned before Rhi has an evil side and when she feels like being evil there's no stopping her. I myself was in a vengeful mood

We scoured our books until we found a rather difficult concept of interpreting certain ruins. It was perfect. Rhi can be the most intimidating person, intellectually, when she sets her mind to it.

Rhi sat straight backed in her chair and gracefully raised her hand

The teacher caught sight of her and asked her what the problem was

Rhi stated our question using the most daunting diction I have ever heard to disguise an almost simple question as an utterly complex one. The professor was flabbergasted, he had no idea how to deal with such a question

Miolin was a stunned mullet just staring at Rhi like she had curled her nose hair into ringlets

He quickly regained his senses and tried to cover up his slip. But we had tasted blood and went in for the kill.

At first he started off with the technical and logical approach of consulting the text but Rhi kept rebuffing his attempts. Miolin changed tactics and went off on a tangent about socialism, society and context.

Enter stage right me

You see we're a tag team. Rhi handles the technical side of things and I cover the human side. My parents are very proactive about informing their children of the world around them. They are Buddhist, which is _not _a religion but _a way of life_, and extremely out spoken in their political views.

To give you a better idea, my father made it compulsory that we all watch the world news, every night, and we are all expected to read his newspapers at least twice a week to keep us up to date.

So this is were I take over. I managed to embroil him in a twenty minute debate on the social morality of the ancient wizards. He was not happy about losing either. After that he went back to trying to Rhi.

Activate game plan B

Now he had two people to contend with and we altered between us so we never ran out of arguments. The professor however was going nuts we must have wasted almost half the lesson.

Miolin got so upset he sent us both out with a note and instructions to see McGonagall

We made our way giggling to McGonagall's classroom. We knocked the door, entered and handed her the note. She raised an eyebrow as she read the note. I tried extremely hard to force my smile away but it wouldn't go. Rhiannon on the other hand just looked at the professor blankly, all calm and collected. Cool as a bloody cucumber.

"Care to explain this girls?"

Rhi answered as I was biting my cheek so as not to laugh

"Well, professor, I asked a question concerning the technical side of Rune deciphering and then the substitute Professor Miolin became very philosophical on the issue and then Lily here tried to convince him of my point because she happens to much better at that abstract garble than me. He then lost his temper and sent us from the room"

"That's very interesting Miss Grey, Professor Miolin seems to be under the impression that you were intentionally disrupting his class" we both raised our eyebrows in feigned surprise "What do you have to say on this matter Miss Evans?"

"Me Professor? Well, I wouldn't say we were 'intentionally disrupting' the class, more that we were over zealous in our conversation with Professor Miolin"

McGonagall's lips twitched upward as she resisted a smile

"Hmmm, I can't really punish you without more proof, so welcome to seventh year transfiguration" and gestured to the class that had been listening closely to us try and escape punishment

"You can sit in front of Misters Black and Potter, luckily you have come just as we were about to start a new area of study. I will expect a full explanation of the concept I about to introduce by tomorrow's lesson understand?"

"Yes Professor" we muttered as we took our seats

We spent the rest of the lesson half listening to McGonagall, half giggling about how we had escaped McGonagall's famous wrath, made famous by the Marauders of course.

Though the whole time we were there I couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching me. Queer that, because everyone was concentrating on McGonagall's board notes.

* * *

**Girls Dorm**

I am so happy that I am tutoring Charlie, I was just talking to Daniel and he told me about his _charming_ student. He's a fourth year as well except unlike Charlie his hormones and ego haven't been kept in check, remind you of any one?

Did you know that it's scientifically proven that at the age of fourteen boys receive a boost in their testosterone levels? Explains a lot now doesn't it? Though there are a few late developers that don't get it till later on.

Like in fifth year there was this guy, a cocky Ravenclaw in my year, who decided he had taken a fancy to me and wouldn't go away. He even had a girlfriend but insisted on vying for my attention. Don't ask me why, I'm a firm believer a cow has a nicer looking mug and a string bean has a more interesting personality than myself!

Have you ever wondered about string beans? Of course not! If you asked someone to say the first thing that popped in to their head when you said string beans, they would most likely say 'beans?'. Bloody boring things, string beans! Gives you an idea about my personality though, doesn't it?

Anyway back to the subject, this little tosser has had a double shot of testosterone and is a jumped up little schitt. He was awfully rude and stuck up, Daniel almost hit on the upside of the head to knock some sense into him. Thankfully he restrained himself.

Poor Daniel, he got a brat of a kid while I got an angel in comparison.

I definitely got lucky tutoring Charlie, we actually get along quite well. We have arranged to have sessions every Tuesday and Thursday in the library. Tonight was pretty good, he's making good progress with the wand movements that were bothering him.

Oh well to bed with me

Adieu

* * *

**Monday 20th September – Library**

I can't fins my sodding astronomy homework and have searched the whole sodding Gryffindor Tower looking for it, I have raided the sodding Library twice and I checked the sodding astronomy tower.

My sodding friends are no sodding help and continue to sit on their sodding arses while I run around like a headless sodding chook. My sodding homework is due tomorrow and I have no sodding time to rewrite the sodding thing!

Sod!

Sod!

Sod!

SOD IT!

My that is a lot of sodding in there but I am extremely stressed as I seemed to have misplaced, not lost, only misplaced ... I hope, my astronomy essay that is due tomorrow and I can't find it anywhere. As you can see I am understandably upset.

If you really what to understand my anguish replace all the 'sods' with the 'F' word and I don't mean 'fiddlesticks'.

I am ready to pull my hair out and if I find out that someone moved it I will have to struggle very hard so as not to throttle them to death.

I should look in the astronomy tower again but it is at the present time 'occupied'

I think I'll go searching the astronomy section again, wait I haven't checked the transfiguration section and I was in there earlier doing the nasty essay McGonagall assigned. I'll go scrounge around there.

* * *

**Common Room**

Well I didn't find my essay in the transfiguration section but I did find something else... James Potter.

And I have to say I was not looking my best when I saw him... not that I care what he thinks.

No seriously I have been having a stressful day, my hair is out of its usual braid and completely mussed from running my hands through it in hopes of relieving stress. I lost my tie some where along the way, probably tried to strangle Tristan with it for making one of his _flattering_ comments.

And a couple of buttons are undone from when I was running up and down the stairs of the bleeding towers. The person who designed this uniform obviously never had to test the product running up stairs. It's so bloody hot and the robe is sooo heavy. So I have discarded of my robe also.

My cheeks are so red from all that ruddy running, I must be so unfit though I doubt that even a cross country runner could deal with all those stairs and not be completely puffed.

Not a good impression for one's superiors. I mean hair mussed, shirt undone, articles of clothes missing, flushed cheeks... people could get the wrong idea.

At first I didn't notice him and went about my business of searching all the tables and bins. Then I felt that creepy feeling of someone watching me again and turned around. Potter was sitting on the other side of the study area and was staring at my back.

There was no one else there so I gave him a timid smile and went back to my fossicking. However the feeling didn't go away, I figured he must be kinda antsy about having people in his personal studying space or something of that absurd nature.

I was almost ready to snap at him. What is his problem? I mean, do I have some offensive sign on my back I'm unaware of? My anger was growing and growing

"What are you doing?"

I turned and looked at him, slightly startled

"Looking for my astronomy homework, I think I might have left it here when I was doing an essay for McGonagall earlier" I said nervously

He looked at me weird and sort of gave me a once over, then smirked. Ugh! Not the bloody smirk, it means I'm not going to like what ever comes out of his mouth next.

"Been in any good broom closets lately?" he asked mockingly and a rather nasty glare

I blushed and tightened my mouth, willing myself not to say anything to nasty. Told you people would get the wrong idea

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I haven't been in a broom closet...ever. I've been looking for my homework, which is actually quite stressful"

Potter looked a little happier with that answer

"Did you think you think to look in the Astronomy tower?"

I rolled my eyes. Bloody smart arse.

"Do I really look that stupid, as to not have checked there first?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but I cut him off, he's rather narky today I don't want any more criticism than necessary

"Don't answer that! I did _try _to check but well I wasn't exactly in favour of the scene that I met when I opened the door"

"Ah, it was in use?" came the amused response; at least he's not scowling any more

"In a sense, but I will never look at Sirius Black or Nadia Stevens in the same way again. Slobber really doesn't suite them"

Potter broke into chuckles, well that just nice now isn't it, here I am stressed and mentally scarred and he cracks up laughing

"Shut up Potter, thanks to your mate Black I can't continue my search for my homework and not to mention the psychological damage"

He sobered up a bit but the smirk was still there.

Not good.

A serious, thinking Potter combined with the evil, cunning smirk equals disaster for the intended victim, aka Me!!!

"I have a proposition for you" I just looked at Potter like he was mad "if I retrieve your homework for you from the astronomy tower, inflicting considerable amount of mental scarring upon myself, you have to do me a favour"

He finished off with flashing me a toothy white smile

"I don't know...what favour?"

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to. Do you agree or not?" Potter persisted, putting out his hand

Well first of all it's James Potter, you can trust him as far as you can throw him, and two he didn't say what the favour is, it could be anything and I might not feel like doing whatever it is he wants.

But on the other hand I have no time to rewrite my essay and Sirius will probably not be done till really late, if I rely on my essay to be up there it gives me no guarantee that it will be there in the morning.

This deal is actually pretty good.

Plus Potter ends up mentally affected like myself.

* * *

**Half an Hour Later**

Well what do you know, he actually managed to get my essay! If he weren't such a prat I would probably give him a big kiss. But things being as they are, I settled on an ecstatic thankyou and quick hug.

Though I do have to say the chap is well toned and huggable, but back on topic this is Potter we're talking about, complete egotistical jerk.

I asked him about the favour "What favour do I have to do for you?"

"I'll think of something" that's all he said, stupid smirk in place and then winked before retreating up to the boys dormitories.

Oh dear, I can only image what sort of favours James Potter wants shiver

How do I get myself into these things

Oh fiddlesticks

* * *

Thankyou wonderful reviewers I really appreciate your support

**Tekvah Ariel:** I don't have a beta reader but it improves my spelling and grammar if I check it myself about 10 times. I'm glad you like the story and thanks for reviewing!!!

**Musicizdbest:** I love photography, admittedly I suck at developing films but I love taking photos, I'm snap happy. That sounds like an awesome job though. Yes finding some one to ramble to is indeed hard! lol! Thanks for the review!!!

**Athena Diagon Cat:** yeah a scatter brained Lily, a tad unconventional but that's the way I am, plus a perfect Lily is just no fun. I'm glad you find it funny. Thankyou for reviewing!!!

Please Review


	8. Chapter 8

**

* * *

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Absolute Shocker!

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**

**Wednesday 22nd September – Breakfast**

Oh.

My.

Giddy.

Aunt.

Francis.

I have a massive, and I mean _massive_, **zit** threatening to engulf my chin. It's huge; I look like I have Mt Everest residing on my face.

I'm disfigured!

I know that sounds completely conceited but I don't usually have a growth like this leaching off my face!

I'll be the first to admit that I don't exactly have flawless skin but it's relatively good with a few lumps and bumps. This... _thing_ is nothing like I've ever seen before, a pulsating, pus filled, angry mass.

Okay so I'm slightly hysterical but how am I supposed to go out in public with a zit this size hanging of the lower half of my face? Huh? How do you suppose I face the world with this mound threatening to swallow my head?

Okay, so forget slightly part, I AM hysterical, but hello, I have a volcano residing on my chin that looks as if it's about to explode and leave anything with in a five foot radius covered disgusting pus!

And it's not like I can squeeze it either or else I end up with a gaping hole in my chin, a clef chin gone wrong. But then it would scab over and I would have an oozing, crusty patch.

Not nice, not nice at all.

What did I do to deserve this? I swear that evil little demon thing has been going around doing evil things in my name again. I swear I never did anything to any of my professors, okay so I may have cast one or two charms on Montgomery's hat but it's not like he didn't deserve it.

Jeez the things that rack up bad karma these days

All right so maybe purposefully screwing around the substitute last week could have got me a bit closer to the naughty list but you never seen the marauders with volcanos on _their_ chins and the are most certainly on Santa's naughty list.

That's it, the marauders!

Striking that deal with Potter must be like selling your soul to the devil. I still haven't found out about that favour but I had better soon, I don't like being indebted to James Potter.

Wait a second, the karma thing could also be from yesterday when I accidentally smashed Phinella Gooseberry's private potion project. Personally I think I did the world a favour, it was awful, I don't even want to know what it was supposed to be. I didn't even say sorry, hence the bad karma, but the girl's a monster.

No, I'm serious she is the most horrible person I've ever met. She makes Regulus Black look like sweet and thoughtful young man, that's how bad she is. Phinny, as I like to call her, is in my year but a Ravenclaw, she has average intelligence and is shrewd as all hell. But also the biggest... brat I ever met, such a cow.

I don't know what I ever did to her but I know she doesn't like me and makes a point of being horrible in my face every time we see each other.

Oh dear, this isn't good, I have a list of reasons as to why I have bad karma, plus I have the result of this horrid karma, a dirty great pimple.

I'm in a sad state of affairs.

I think I will go try and drown my self in some porridge or other breakfast liquid (I'm not particularly fond of porridge.)

* * *

**Lunch**

What did I do? Huh? I have no idea as to how I am to right all the evil I am supposedly the creator of. My day just gets better and better now don't it.

Not only do I have this enormous ... zit, which I swear is poisonous, but also my hair decides to have a spaz out, today of all days.

You know how some people have stick straight hair that never tangles no matter what? Well that's not me

And how some people have bouncy ringlets that look so adorable? Not me either

Then you have people with luscious waves that tumble down their backs? Again, not me.

I have evil, spawn of the devil hair that is a combination of these plus the one thing that makes it unbearable:

FRIZZ!!!

See I have straight bits of hair every now and then, with a few major waves that turn into curly ringlets at the bottom but the most dominant texture is frizz.

Sodding frizz!

I didn't have time to braid it this morning because I spent so much time moaning over my pimple, serves me right really. I'm having a full on bitch fest today due to my depressed state.

Well you would be depressed to if you found out your horse faced sister is able to get a steady boyfriend while you are incapable of even getting a date.

Ugh! I can't believe Petunia has a boyfriend! My mum sent me a letter yesterday night about how happy she is for Petunia and asking when I am going to bring a boy home. Er...how exactly am I to bring a boy home if I can't even get one to date me?!

Yes I can tell you have realised by now this is the reason for my distress. I love my sister dearly and all that but man she is such a cow to me and well, I feel compelled to inform you that she ain't the prettiest snuffbox around.

I am depressed beyond belief at this present moment and I think I will tell Nessa to keep anything sharp or pointy away from me for the remainder of the day.

Sisters are freaking depressing

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wait, don't hid all the sharp, pointy objects just yet! Daniel noticed that I wasn't feeling to good and offered to play a spot of quidditch with me later. Awww! Isn't he sweet? This is why I like him so much he notices when people aren't feeling their best and tries to cheer them up.

That's turned my day right around

So I have a pimple

So I have disastrous hair

So what?

That has absolutely no relevance what so ever anymore and do you know why?

Daniel asked me to play quidditch with him later!!!!

Hey that almost counts as a date right?

Pft! Do I really care at the moment? No! I get to spend extra time with Daniel! I believe I had run my course with the bad karma and have patched up whatever it was that made me a target for ruin.

I now have a grin on my face that makes a maniac clown look depressed

I'm most likely scarring the young children but you know what? Screw what people think of me, they don't know shit!

* * *

**Common Room**

Potter has a death wish

I swear to god he purposefully goes out of his way to piss me off and embarrass me. I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true, every time I do something that I want keep private he miraculously shows up! It's driving me nuts!

Okay maybe not miraculously because that sounds like I actually want him there but he still shows up everywhere and I am yet to find out how he does it.

You're probably wondering what the devil I'm blabbering about, shooting my mouth off about Potter and his various infuriating habits.

Well Daniel and I were having a grand old time playing quidditch. We play it with just the quaffle and each of us is a chaser and then we become a keeper when the other person is in the scoring area.

As I was saying we were having a great time chasing each other around about fifty feet in the air, doing loop the loops and dangerous dives. I had almost entirely forgotten about my blasted sister and her boyfriend and was completely happy stuffing around with Daniel.

And who should show up?

Yep, you guessed it, Potter.

I swear that boy just doesn't like me, true, he hasn't pulled any pranks on me but it's only a matter of time before he does. He goes out of his way to get on my nerves and thinks he's awfully clever for doing so.

Potter came parading onto the field like a goddamn peacock with Nessa and Tri following. He called us over and Daniel looked just as flummoxed by this as I did. Potter explained that it was an emergency meeting for the chasers and that they needed Daniel also, to see if these new plays would be successful.

By now I was fuming not only had Potter stopped our game of quidditch but he had single handily stopped me from spending any more time with Daniel that night.

Forget fuming I was livid, this jerk managed to stuff me up every time I got close to actually having some quality time with Daniel. I know he's the star keeper but it's not like I'm about to give him some horrid disease that will prevent him from ever playing again. Bloody Potter!

And do you know Potter had the cheek to ash if I wanted to stay and watch. I had to clasp my hands together so I wouldn't jump on him and throttle the little toe rag to with in a n inch of his life.

Right now I am trying, in vain I might add, to calm myself to the point where I won't curse Potter when I see him next. Not working very well

I know! I think it's about time I gave Potter a taste of his own medicine. Which charm to use is the only question, I'll figure something out.

* * *

**Saturday 25th September – Girl's Dorm**

I love Saturdays, it's the one day of the week when you can just full on relax. I don't know why people think Sunday is so bloody special.

I mean first of all you have to get up early and go to church, sit through a sermon about how we're all doomed to rot in hell, then you have to do all that homework you've been putting off because it's due the next day and then you have the family dinner where all your sodding family come round for pot roast.

Ugh! Kill me now!

As you can see I am not fond of Sundays, especially not at home.

But Saturdays are a different matter completely.

On Saturday you sleep in till noon if you like and nobody cares, and when you do eventually raise yourself from your morning stupor there is no evil priest telling you that eating anything but fish on a Friday will land you in hell. There is no stress on Saturdays, you've just finished the week and you've still got a whole day left tomorrow to do the homework.

I love Saturdays

And you know what I have to say I'm learning, I put a repelling charm on my bed last night so Nessa and Rhi couldn't wake me up to go do something that I most certainly wouldn't want to do.

Quidditch practice for example.

The twins have the same values as me, anything that involves getting up before 10 o'clock on a weekend is not worth it. Though even they are up before me today, it's about eleven and I'm slightly peckish, but lunch doesn't start till 12:30 on weekends.

Oh well hopefully an expedition to the kitchens won't cause too much trouble. I think I shall discreetly sneak down there snag a couple of chocolate éclairs from a friendly house elf before grabbing a good book and make my way to the trees by the lake.

Very solitary, I know but I'm not a people person particularly on weekends. My friends will come looking for me later.

Sounds like a plan

* * *

**The Lake**

I love autumn, it's so nice and it's surprisingly warm today. I was feeding the giant squid some left over toast from my kitchen excursion earlier, it's actually pretty nice for a giant sea monster.

I'm in an excellent mood today, must have something to do with the fact I haven't been bothered by anyone all day. Bliss.

Though it could also attribute to the fact that I got Potter back for pulling his training stunt the other day. It took me a day to figure out what would really get his goat but I got there. I carried out my well laid plan yesterday afternoon so Potter would have detention for all of today.

Yesterday afternoon just before lunch, Potter and Black were mucking around in the hall pretending to hex each other and other magic in the hall way. Filch was there watching them like a hawk in case they did some actual magic. They were purposefully antagonizing Filch of course.

But what they didn't know was that I was hiding behind a statue of Demetrius the Delirious waiting for the perfect moment

And my waiting paid off

Potter raised his wand as though about to strike Black when what do you know, slime starts pouring out of his wand, covering Black as well as the portrait of Filch's mangy cat, Mrs Norris, that had just been put up.

Potter and Black were both gob smacked that green slime had come from his wand and were looking at it in awe. Filch was petrified and gaping at the portrait of his precious moggy.

I was doubled over in laughter behind Demetrius gasping for breath. Man, I love that spell, it makes what ever you hit with it squirt out disgusting green slime.

They all just stared in horrified silence for about five minute before Filch came out of shock and started screaming I believe he gave Potter double detention for using Magic in the hall ways and defacing school property. Personally I think the school is better off with out a picture of that... dust ball.

All in all I think it turned out pretty good

1)Potter got in trouble and has a whole day of detention

2)Black got covered in slime that takes for ever to get rid of

3)The painting of the scungy old mop (by that I mean the evil thing Filch calls his cat) is gone for good and now it can't rat on any students to Filch

Well worth seeing, yep, that's definitely the reason for my happiness today, Potter is scrubbing bed pans and Black is covered in green slime. If _something_ should happen to Reggie my day will be complete.

Hey, whoever's reading over my shoulder bugger off before you receive a fist in the face.

It's okay it's just Cam, Daniel and Rhi

Daniel read the bit about Potter and Black and asked me how I knew about that so I let them read what I've written.

They've dissolved into giggles and are asking me if I really did that

"Did what?"

"You did that? You got Potter in trouble, covered Black in slime, ruined the painting of Mrs Norris and are planning to do something to Regulus Black?" accused Cam

I looked at him surprised

"Where on earth did you get that ludicrous thought, I'm a prestigious prefect, I uphold school rules, I certainly don't break them" I said in a pompous voice

They all just grinned at me

"You know Potter and Black were pretty pissed at first, they were vowing to scalp the little cretin who did that" Daniel started

I just looked at my nails unconcerned, I have no reason to worry. I didn't tell anyone of my plans and I was extremely careful, I'm not scared of those two any way. Okay so maybe I am scared but only a little.

Rhi cut in "Yeah, but when they asked around about who did it they couldn't find anyone with any information. Potter and Black both realised the person who did this was pretty smart"

I beamed at this

Cam took over again "And they decided they actually want to congratulate the person who did it. They made an announcement at breakfast that whoever owns up to it will receive a reward of a bar Honeydukes finest chocolate."

I thought about that for a second but it didn't appeal to me, sure I'd love to get the chocolate but then they'd know the identity of the only person who can prank them. Nah let 'em sweat.

"Well if Potter and Black think this person is so smart why are they offering them a bar of chocolate for their identity to be exposed? Surely the person who pulled this prank wouldn't be that easily fooled?" I suggested

Always play innocent and never admit anything, even to your friends

"Dunno, they seem to doubt your intelligence"

Cameron, Cameron, Cameron, I am not that easily fooled

I smiled at him but made no comment

"The Marauders are hosting a party in the Gryffindor common room for our house to celebrate someone finally _successfully_ pulling a prank on the Marauders"

I grinned at this, a party in my honour!

"I'll make sure I'm there then, can't miss a Marauder party now can I, and given the reason for it I definitely can't bail out." I replied

Well this'll be fun now won't it? The Marauders are holding a party because I pranked them. Had I known that was the out come I would have done it earlier.

I don't know where I'm going to put the picture of that wonderful event but it will be some place safe.

Better go get ready for the party, and I'm sure it's going to be one hell of a party

* * *

Thankyou to those marvellous reviewers, I almost feel off my chair when I saw that I had four reviews. I'm sick at the moment and have had almost the whole week off school but when I saw all those reviews I lit up like a light bulb! Thanks again!

**DeoxyriboNucleic Acid:** Thanks for the comment about the reviews but I'm pretty much ecstatic if I get one review! You have reviewed before and you were just as sweet then as you are now! I'm glad you like the whole Lily/Regulus thing. Thanks for your review!

**all-american-tease:** Thanks for the review, I'm glad you it entertaining, but don't be afraid to tell me if I start rambling on.

**fille-chica143: **Thankyou for taking the time to review, I'm delighted that you liked it so much, here's your update.

**Musicizdbest: **Can I just say a whopping great **_THANKYOU_** as you have replied so often and it gives me an incredible boost to have a reviewer that reviews almost every time! See your thankyou got the works, bold, italics, underline, I would have made it a different font but that wouldn't show up. I'm a dreadful shutter bug, I just used about 3 rolls of film at my friends party, it's ridiculous really. Thanks again!

Please Review


	9. Chapter 9

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**Sunday 26th September – Girl's Dorm**

Ugh! Sunlight! My head hurts sooo much! I don't think I should have had that seventh butter beer. Definitely not, no more drinking excessively when completely incapable of determining when enough is enough.

Must stick to that one.

Geez the Marauders sure know how to throw a party. I don't believe I have ever seen so many people so utterly drunk at the one time.

I bet Black spiked the butter beer, if I find out that he is the cause of my monster of a head ache he better watch out or else I may be sent to Azkaban for murder one.

What happened last night is a little fuzzy but it's coming back to me ever so slowly...

Good Gravy!!!

I was flirting with Potter!

Ugh! Kill me now and save me from the ultimate embarrassment my shocking actions will result in. Wait a second! He came on to me!? Now that is even more confusing, I mean I have an excuse, hormones.

Yes, I know that I am in fact perfectly able to keep my urges and raging hormones in check but no one else needs to know that. I can just say 'Well he is hot...' and leave it at that and no one will pester me after that.

But Potter

He has some explaining to do. I mean why would he be flirting with me? He has targeted me as his favourite person to humiliate and annoy to no end. Plus even _I_ wouldn't flirt with me!

Maybe he won't remember and I'll be off the hook

Or maybe he's just as embarrassed as I am and will completely ignore that it ever happened.

Yeah that's it I'll just act like it never happen and the whole thing will just blow over

Lily Evan, Master of Denial

Though I do remember I was sitting on the couch in the common room by myself because I had just forced Rhi to go talk to her crush. The twins were being bombarded by boys, with alcohol induced bravery, asking them out. Nessa was flirting shamelessly with Tristan who was flirting back just as blatantly.

I knew they liked each other! Oooh, blackmail! Let's see them try and get out of that one, I wonder if they snuck out to find a secluded broom closet? I'll have to ask later

Cam and Daniel were standing by the drinks talking to a couple of pretty 5th years. Damn them, who do those little hussies think they are? Well Daniel didn't look to interested anyway...at least I hope he didn't

But anyway I was sitting all on my lone some when who should dit down beside me but Potter! I was so surprised I remember I stared at him for a bit and blink a few times.

I raise my eyebrows and looked at him. He just raised his eyebrows and looked right back at me. It was kinda unnerving really.

I can't remember what we talked about exactly but it was nonsense and babbling on both our parts. I do remember that he kept inching closer and I kept inching away. I didn't realise at first because I'm one of the most naïve people ever! But once I did it made things rather uncomfortable.

I don't know how but he ended up tickling me to death but I pushed him off and ran away to hide behind Daniel and Cam.

Oh dear I was complete twat! I was all giggly and flirtatious and ugh! Do I have to go on?

I think I should just push this to very back recess of my mind and deal with it at a later date.

That sounds excellent, now I must away to find friends and food!

* * *

**Hospital Wing**

It is definitely not my day. I had just got up and was on my way down to the Great Hall to get some lunch when wham! I tumbled head long down the damn stairs and landed at the bottom of the stairs looking like a pretzel.

Arabella's damn cat, Mr Tibbles (I mean seriously, who calls a cat Mr Tibbles?), was skulking at the top of the stairs and me being me walked straight into the damn thing!

Well it has to be a pretty stupid cat to be sitting in the middle of the hall way in the first place, but the top of the stairs? Isn't that verging on suicidal? And the stupid thing scratched me to bits

The worst thing was that Arabella saw the whole thing and hurried over and I thought she was going to help me up but instead she scooped up her moronic cat and then scolded me for hurting it.

Huh?

It was the one that did damage to me and I'm the one getting the lecture, don't make sense to me

The twins saw the whole fiasco from their position where they had been flirting with Black yet again, while Remus and Potter played chess.

All five were watching me and trying to hide their laughter as I gawked at Arabella

"Dana, Bridget, are you going to help me up or just stare all day?" I asked once Arabella walked off muttering about 'sodding cat haters'. Mental that one

Dana and Brig came over still giggling and attempted to help me up. Unfortunately I couldn't get up. I broke my ankle, plus my back was really sore and I had scratches all over from that sodding cat!

Not that Bridget or Dana were any help they were laughing too much and couldn't support me because they were shaking from laughter.

"Blodeuedd and Cliodahna! Shut up and help me up or at least get someone else to help!"

They sobered up at the mention of their first names but soon fell back into giggles and collapsed on to the couch. Damn them!

The Marauders just looked at me like I was from another planet

"Who are Blodowhatsit and Cliodaisy?" asked Sirius

"That's Dana and Bridget's first names" I answered exasperatedly

"Don't ask" I said seeing Sirius was about to ask another question

"Now do you think you could help me up as I don't think I'm capable of getting up myself"

They didn't move

"Or you could go and get someone who can help me?"

They still didn't move, what is wrong with these people? You see someone in trouble you help them up. It's the natural order of things.

I just looked at them as though looking at a half brain squirrel

"Oi! Marauders, a little help please?"

They finally snapped out of it and came to help me. Geez and here I was thinking I would have to transport my self to the hospital wing cell by cell.

Black and Potter rushed to my side like knights in shinning armour. I wonder were they left their white horses? They pulled me up so I was standing but I still couldn't stand on my own, so Potter escorted me to the hospital wing.

I avoided eye contact the whole way for obvious reasons and I think he did the same but I wasn't paying to much attention because to the pain in my arm and ankle were so sore.

Crap I think I broke my arm as well.

Brilliant, bloody brilliant

Once we got to the hospital wing Potter led me over to the closest bed before going to get Madame Wilks. When she saw me she sighed and asked "What have you done _now_ Ms Evans?"

And now I'm confined to this damn bed until tomorrow morning because I _'may be in shock'. _

Shock of what?

Shocked that I fell down a flight of stairs?

Shocked that I got scolded for frightening some cat that mauled me?

Shocked that my delinquent friends wouldn't even come to my aid when I needed them?

Shock that James Potter was actually being a decent person?

Madame Wilks may have to be a bit more specific about the whole in shock thing. But I have so much homework to do that I can't '_just rest'_ or I'll get behind. I tried this on Madame Wilks but she just gave me stern look.

And just for the record _I _didn't _do_ anything, it's all Mr Tibbles fault I'm in here

Stupid sodding cat

* * *

**Monday 27th September – Transfiguration **

Guess what, my friends came and visited me in the hospital wing last night. Usually they don't bother because I'm in there so often, but Bridget and Dana felt bad about leaving it to Potter and Black.

They brought me some chocolate frogs and a bunch of flowers to say sorry. They had such sweet looks on their faces when they apologised I couldn't help but forgive them.

Tristan, Cam, Nessa and Rhi came as well, I think the twins forced them to. I can just imagine the amount of guilt trips I'm going to get out of this one. I have enough black mail on the carbon copies to call in a decent number of favours.

Tristan, Cam and Nessa all thought the story about Mr Tibbles was hilarious and couldn't stop grinning. I can just imagine them falling off their seats with laughter when Dana and Bridget told them about my little... adventure.

On a happier note Daniel came to visit me as well. He said he heard Arabella mumbling about crazy cat killers attacking Mr Tibbles and his curiosity got the best of him so asked her about it.

Big mistake

Arabella ranted about my bad intentions towards her cat for about fifteen minutes all up. Daniel was lucky to escape with his ears still in tact.

I think it was very sweet of Daniel to come and visit me, just another reason as to why I'm absolutely smitten with him.

After Daniel visited I had another visitor

Potter

I was quite surprised when he stuck his head around the curtain. I looked at him with mild surprise, well I tried to keep it mild but truthfully I am utterly confused.

The guy annoys the heck out of me and gives me one of his demeaning smirk every chance he gets. Yet the other night he was flirting with me, yesterday he helped me to the hospital wing and then came to see if I was alright.

Bloody confusing

He only stayed for about five minutes but he was civil the whole time. Did I miss something? Was there a peace treaty somewhere along the line? I can honestly say I have no idea as to why he is being so... nice.

Oh crap! McGonagall is coming over check up on my _'progress'

* * *

_

**Wednesday 29th September – Common Room**

You know what I think Potter has psychological damage from somewhere, apart from when he got my astronomy homework. I was exposed to that as well but even I am not as screwed up as he is.

He has split personality disorder, truthfully he does!

On Sunday he was alarmingly nice but today he turned back into his cocky tempera_mental _self. It's like there is a switch that you can flick to get him from one personality to another.

I was in the great hall and had just finished my lunch when I remembered I had to talk to Charlie.

Scanned the Gryffindor table looking for him as most people were still eating lunch and then I spotted his messy hair and made my way over

"Charlie" I tried to get his attention "Hey Charlie!"

He turned around to see who was calling his name, unfortunately four other heads followed

Crapolla, the Marauders

"Er... Sorry to interrupt but can I talk to Charlie for a minute?"

Potter sent Charlie an evil look before facing me with this contorted look on his face. I must have interrupted something important, just my luck.

Charlie quickly glanced at the Marauders, Potter in particular before following me out of earshot.

"Sorry to interrupt your conversation Charlie" I said eyeing Potter who was now glaring "Potter doesn't look particularly happy with me"

"Oh that, don't worry, it wasn't anything important" He replied with a grin

"Maybe not to you but Potter looks mighty unhappy about my talking to you"

If looks could kill...I'd be a goner

"So what was it you wanted me for?"

"Oh sorry I got distracted fearing for my life" I sighed "It's about tutoring, I'm really sorry but I can't meet you tomorrow night, I have an evil Astronomy practical"

"That's okay don't worry we can catch up next Tuesday"

"Are you sure? I mean I could meet you before then"

He looked apprehensive "Nah, it'll be fine"

"You're sure?" He nodded "Okay, well, I'll see you on Tuesday then"

I watched him head back to the Marauders and was about to leave myself when I had a thought

Charlie was about to sit down

"Hey Charlie, what are you doing tonight?" I called out

"Nothing, why?"

"I'll meet you tonight okay? Say about eight?"

He smiled and nodded "See you then"

I smiled and went on my way, but before I left I noticed Potter still glaring at me. He had a face of thunder and looked as though he wanted me six foot under in a wooden box. Great what have I done this time? I simply have to talk about tutoring and suddenly I'm a criminal.

See one minute he can be quite bearable and nice the next he looks at me as though I'm the evil witch of the west.

You'd think he could just pick one personality and stick to it

But wait that would be way to easy, now wouldn't it

Bloody prat

* * *

That you very much to my reviewers who every right to throw inanimate objects at me for being to unexplainably lazy.

**Musicizdbest: **I'm awful like that, I get into something and then become obsessed forever more! I don't know who Fat Albert is but here on the edge of the earth (rural Australia, main cause of death: Boredom) we don't get much interaction with the rest of the world. Thanks for the review!

**DeoxyriboNucleic Acid:** Thankyou for your honest opinion and constructive criticism. I know it's cliché but my fingers ran away with my mind when I was typing! I didn't actually have this in mind for my story but that's how it turned out. Thanks for the review!

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	10. Chapter 10

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

A/N: It has come to my attention that the last exchange between Lily and Charlie could be taken wrong. Can I just say No, Lily was **NOT asking him on a date** but arranging **Tutoring ONLY!!!** Even though my friend did just this, (she's 16 and he's 14 or maybe he's 13, ugh! She copped heaps for it, it's rather paedophilic) but my point is Lily has **no romantic feelings** for Charlie!!! Okay now that's off my chest on with the story!

* * *

**Saturday 2nd October – Dinner **

I am going to write in here because otherwise I may just walk myself off the astronomy tower or better yet I could _supervise_ Potter taking a leap of faith.

**Top 5 Ways Of Killing James Potter That Will Inflict The Most Pain**

**5)** Lock Potter in a room Hagrid's newest pet. It's a cross between a Chimaera and a Graphorn, blood thirsty and extremely bad tempered, sounds perfect for the job!

**4) **Hand Potter over to Filch and let him do as he pleases, imagine the fun he could have with al those chains and thumb screws, though it's always sounded a bit kinky if you ask me.

**3)** Send Potter to an Amish community and reopen the Salem witch trials. Those muggles have the most ingenious ways of prosecuting a suspected practiser of witchcraft

**2)** Send Potter back to the 17th centaury and put him on death row in Oxford. Medical investigation was at its peak at this time and Oxford University used to do rather... painful medical experiments on prisoners destined for the gallows.

And my favourite would have to be...

**1)** Potter sharing the same fate as the sailors of the Dark ages. Sometimes they would stick a guy's hand to the mast by driving a knife through it and then the poor sod would some how have to get his hand off. Another way was to tear the bloke in half, literally. Tie his arms to one ship and his legs to another and then sail in opposite directions.

Quite revolting really but conjures wonderfully sadistic images of ones worst enemy, especially when you know that the person is much to big for you to ever physically hurt on your own.

Well I'm glad that's out of my system I can now write legibly.

I knew this was going to happen sooner or later, I knew it! I hadn't talked about it to Nessa, Rhi or the twins because I knew they would just say I'm paranoid but there you go I was right!

Damn! I wish I was wrong!

I knew he was going to pull something funny and that just proved my point! The Marauders are nothing but wankers.

I have absolutely horrid temper and am likely to fly off the handle at almost any one, including innocent bystanders. I definitely live up to the reputation of a red head and I can scream and shout my head off for a prolonged period of time.

The real trouble begins if I don't scream or say anything for that matter. No one at Hogwarts has ever witnessed this and they are blissfully unaware of the damage I can do when severely ticked off.

Or I should say they were

As you have probably realised I am going completely nutty over the sodding Marauders or more Potter actually. They are jumped up wankers with ego's the size of Siberia.

I should explain what exactly has got me all riled up, well it would of course be the Marauders. Potter has been ticking me off all freaking year and this last encounter was the stick that broke the camels back.

I finally snapped and let out all my frustrations by going completely off the deep end and insulting the Head Boy to hell and back using quite the vocabulary.

I was walking down the 4th floor corridor in the south wing; it was quite cold and dark because Peeves had nicked all the torches. Why he would do such a stupid thing I have no idea, it's probably so he can juggle them above terrified first years.

I heard some whispering up ahead

Bloody paintings never shut their traps, it's most likely that mad knight and his fat pony, you know the one that never, ever shuts up. Ugh! I hope I never see him again

I was just dawdling along thinking of all the wretched Potion homework I have to do, minding my own business, when wham! The next thing I know I'm covered in goo and feathers!

I was in complete shock, I couldn't move I was that stunned

I heard laughing from the shadows and turned my head slightly to see who it was

The Marauders, well half of them anyway.

Black and Potter were leaning on each other to stop themselves from falling over, their shoulders shaking with laughter.

I stared at them as they continued to laugh at my expense, my glare intensifying by the second while I pursed my lips

"Good one Prongs!" choked out Black

I fixed them both with my evil gaze while they composed themselves

Now was when my temper got the better of me, can I just warn you that it's not my fault, my mouth was temporarily out of my control along with my temper

"You find this funny?" I asked in my deadly calm and cold voice

"Uh, yeah?" ventured Potter

"Just what were you thinking" I continued using _the voice_

This voice, as my sister Petunia would recognise, is a sign that the following exchange is going to make a Hungarian Horntail look like a placid and docile creature. Black and Potter have no idea of course.

"Oh come on Evans it was just a harmless prank" Black said carelessly

"A harmless prank, a _harmless prank_?" my voice rose an octave and the look on my face became fierce. Back and Potter took a step back.

"I don't see you covered in bleeding goo and these ridiculous feathers" My voice was still in check but I was quickly losing my control

"Look, Evans, it wasn't anything personal" Potter tried

"Nothing personal! You must be kidding! Nobody uses this sodding hall way at this time except the 6th year Ancient ruins class, the rest of which has already bloody passed you!"

Yep there goes the control, straight out the window

"I don't know what your bleeding problem with me is Potter" I spat out the last word "But SOD OFF! I have done nothing to you that I know of but I can't seem to do anything or go anywhere without you being a TOTAL PRICK!"

He looked like he was about to say something so I cut him off, I was all out yelling now

"And the bloody GLARING! What is with THAT? HUH? Please enlighten me because it seems whenever I come near you, you send me these looks of death! And you know WHAT? After a while that gets pretty god damn annoying! So do me a favour and GET OFF MY FREAKING CASE!"

With that I stormed off to my dormitory to get cleaned up and I am now currently sulking into my potato bake.

Wish it had been the batty knight and his fat pony

* * *

**Monday 4th – Library**

Well this weeks turning out to be awesome and it's only just begun!

In case you didn't notice that statement was dripping with sarcasm and no, I have _not_ had a revelation and decided to be optimistic, look what happened last time. I ended up almost covered disgusting goop that was going to disfigure my already disfigured face.

I actually have a very pessimistic nature but I always get told off for it, so I cover up my nasty side by being happy go lucky. Pathetic charade I know but my dry, sarcastic humour usually goes straight over people's heads, they just think I'm being nice.

Dimwits

At the moment I am hiding in the library, tutoring Charlie. I saw him earlier and he has a Charms assessment tomorrow and he asked me to do some last minute study with him.

On Wednesday Charlie was having some trouble with the stuff he learnt in class that day, so it was good that we went over it. At the moment we are surrounded by big, thick Charms textbooks that are all dusty.

"Hey Lily, aren't you supposed to be at the prefect's meeting?"

_Damn! He picked up on that, I thought it would take at least another half an hour for him to realise_

"Uh, huh"

_Eluding the question is a good tac_tic 

"But won't that damage your chances of being Head Girl if you're absent from meetings?" Charlie inquired

_He's a clever one_

"If that means avoiding the Head Boy, I'll risk it"

_Do not look at him what ever you do, do not look _

He stares at me for a second

"You mean James Potter?"

_No, the Yeti of course it's Potter_

I nod

"I thought girls would do anything to be in his _presence_!"

My turn to stare

_Who has this boy been hanging out with?_

"Not all girls belong to the James Potter fan club, you know" I answer dryly

_Good grief, I have to share my dorm with the fan club co-captains does he really think I listen to their prattle?!_

"I'm guessing you're not one of them?"

I gave him a look to say _'Well what do you think?'_

"What I mean to say is why are you avoiding James?"

_Right and this really how I wanted to spend my evening, discussing my private life with a fourth year, who needs charms tutoring, terrific!_

"Because I don't want to see him"

_More like I'm scared he'll have got his voice back and is just itching to scream at me_

"Yes, but why don't you want to see him?"

_Too damn clever I tell you and persistent_

"Because I sort of lost my temper at him the other day and I don't particularly feel like placing myself in an environment that he is completely in control of"

He raised his eyebrows at me

"In other words you're afraid of him"

_An accusation if ever I heard one_

"No! I'm afraid that my temper will get the better of me and I will end up hexing some innocent bystander while trying not to curse Potter into a thousand little pieces" I protested

_Okay so maybe I am afraid of him, but he isn't thought to be one of the school's most skilled students for nothing!_

"You really hate him that much?"

_That's going a little to far, I would settle for severely dislike_

"Well hate is rather a strong word wouldn't you say? I mean I hardly know the guy! It would be more appropriate to say I dislike him; he ticks me off at every opportunity"

_More like he makes opportunities_

"Well you're going to have to face him sooner or later"

_How about... Never? I like that option a whole lot better_

"I'd prefer later"

I sigh

"Now enough about my dismal and boring life, show me a your summoning spell"

Ugh! Even Charlie disapproves of my dislike for Potter! The twins are bad enough but now even my tutoring student trying to convince me that Potter is an okay sort of person.

When will these people get off my case?

* * *

**Common Room**

Sod!

Sod!

Sod!

Sod it!

Why oh why do these things happen to me? Huh? They never happen to Rosemary McDonald now do they?

No of course bloody well not!

Rosemary is the little miss perfect of our year. She has blonde hair that falls in natural corkscrew curls that are never out of place, big, blue eyes that most guys drown in and a petite figure.

Plus she happens to be an above average student! Grrr... bloody unfair!

Unfortunately Rosemary and I got off to a bad start, on one of my more klutzy days I accidentally set her perfect ringlets alight! I didn't do it on purpose, I swear! It would have probably been all right and would have been forgiven had Rosie not been flirting with the Marauders.

The Marauders laughed their heads off and Rosie blamed me for doing it on purpose because I was 'insanely jealous'!

Pft as if! We were in third year! She could have the Marauders for all I care.

That brings me back to my original point

People like Rosemary do not get stuck with the person they despise to patrol the halls now do they, but me? Well let's just say I have enough bad karma to ensure I am a cockroach in my next life even if I am a saint for the rest of this one!

It all started when I got back from the library, I only came back when I was sure the meeting had been over for at least half an hour. Charlie was still there when I left so my excuse was plausible enough.

My friends greeted me and waved me over

"Hey Lily, where've you been?"

"Yeah, Daniel's been looking for you"

Crap! I didn't think missing one meeting was _that_ bad!

"Er... Do you know if Amelia's in her Dorm?"

I think I had better apologise, I'm sure Amy will understand about tutoring and then she can explain it to Potter and I can get off scott free! I like that idea

They all looked at me with this apprehensive look on their faces and Rhi finely decided to clue me in

"I think she is but you might want to wait a bit she didn't look to happy when she came in, I think the prefect meeting didn't go as smoothly as she would have liked"

Uh. Oh.

I think I'll offer my condolences tomorrow, I have more chance of living if I wait

Just then Daniel came down the stairs from the boys staircase with a face of thunder

"Lily!"

Oh dear, he doesn't sound happy

* * *

Thankyou for all your wonderful reviews I have never had that many at once so that was just like whoa! When I saw six, yes SIX, new reviews! Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou! You all deserve chocolate chip cookies!

**Lightening Rain:** Thanks for the tip about the reviews I didn't realise I had that box ticked. I'm glad you like Lily's character, it's sorta like me, completely naïve and totally oblivious! Thanks for the review!

**Anne Marie:** Yeah, I know Lily is thick like Ron but then again Ron is adorable when he's like this! I was actually trying to show that even though you believe your actions are innocent people could take them the wrong way. Thanks for the review!

**Sarah:** Most of the time I'm confused so I definitely don't expect you to understand it completely! The favour comes into play later on. Thanks for the review!

**Ashlee V:** Thankyou, I'm glad you like the style and find Lily's musings entertaining! Thanks for the review!

**SlippersRfuzzy:** Crikey! Your guessing is extremely close! I relate to the klutz thing very well, although I have never broken my ankle I have broken my arm by knocking it against a pole! Go figure! Here's the update and thankyou for the review!

**Billy:** Thankyou very much for the flattery, I believe my head is about to swell to bursting point if this keeps up! Thankyou for the review!

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	11. Chapter 11

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

A/N: About the 'To Do List' later on in the chapter, I had to up the rating because of it due to the sexual nature. If you don't understand it then you are probably to young to read it. And this is for real, my friends have made one of these obviously it's a bit different because there is no such thing as witches and wizards but it's basically the same thing.

* * *

Okay continuing on...

_Just then Daniel came down the stairs from the boys staircase with a face of thunder_

"_Lily!" _

_Oh dear, he doesn't sound happy

* * *

_

Crap!

Crap!

Crap!

I don't think I really want to hear what he has to say. Obviously the meeting didn't go so well

Okay Lily, let's put those acting classes you had when you were ten to work

Hitching a smile on my face I faced him

"Hi Daniel"

I don't like his facial expression, it hasn't brightened as he saw me, if anything it got darker

"Don't you 'Hi Daniel' me, where were you?"

I gulped

"Tutoring?" I answered going for innocent

He just stared at me, I think he may be able to see through the tutoring thing. Bugger!

"Tutoring?" he raised an eyebrow

Oh yeah, he can see straight through my innocent act

Bugger!

Bollocks!

Sod!

"Whatever Lils, I just thought you would like to know the prefect meeting went especially well"

The light hearted nature of that statement sounds forced, very forced

"It did? How so?"

Curiosity killed the cat and this little kitty is heading straight to hell

"Well it has come to the Head Boy and Girl's attention that _certain prefects_ are not doing their rounds but are instead off finding broom closets, if you catch my drift"

I nodded

Damn that bloody horny David Spades from Ravenclaw

"So the Head's have come up with a new system of patrol, they've arranged so that every prefect is with partnered with someone in a different year, that may or may not be in their house"

Er... SO? What's the big deal?

"It's not that bad"

Wait... oh bollocks I could get stuck with a Slytherin

"Not that bad! I'm stuck with this little up shot from Hufflepuff who won't shut up about how wonderful Amos is and keeps quizzing me about him!"

Oh, _that's_ the big deal, that's harsh...but it still isn't my fault

"Well that's not my fault!"

Certainly not my fault! How could I have stopped that?

"We could have done with a bit of crowd control, everyone was so pissed about the new roster that they wouldn't shut up and then Black decided to challenge Potter's decision. So what does Potter do?" He paused for affect "He waves his wand and all of a sudden the list changes from annoying into everyone's worst nightmare!"

I can see that happening, Potter doesn't exactly blessed with a large amount of patience and Black always has to make his opinion heard not matter what

"I still don't get how it's my fault"

How is that _my _fault that Black was being his usual pricky self?

"You're the only one who can effectively shut Black up and if you had of been hexing him to pieces Potter wouldn't have got so ticked off and taken it out on us"

Oh!

Wait that isn't right...

Why wouldn't Potter have got ticked off about that? I would be most annoyed if I was heading the meeting and two of the younger students started having a duel

"That has to be the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard!"

Really it is, I mean Daniel's mad at me because I didn't blow Black to smithereens, usually he tells he tells me off for it!

"Yeah? Well when you get a look at the new roster you're going to wish you were at the meeting!" Daniel shouted before stomping back up the dormitory stairs

What does that mean? _'Once I get a look at the roster'_

I looked over at my friends, they seemed to be just as puzzled by Daniel's outburst as I was

'_When you get a look at the new roster you're going to wish you were at the meeting!_'

Oh shite! It means I'm not going to like what I see on the notice board

I think I should mosey on over there and check it out, Nessa decided to come with me

Curious little berk

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This can't be happening

I refuse to believe it

No one can be that cruel!

I can't believe he did that ....

The Jerk

I am going to seek out Potter and kill him with my bare hands... or give him a very stern talking to at the least

Daniel's still wrong though

It most certainly was not my fault, it wouldn't have made any difference if I was there. Actually I probably would have made it worse...

Definitely worse considering my tendencies to blow up at both Potter and Black

Do you have any idea who I got stuck with?

Guess

Go on I DARE you

Yep that's right Potter

Sodding Potter

That lake looks mighty inviting just to jump into it and never emerge from. I think my friends may have to lock me in a broom closet for a couple of days for me to settle down. They would have to remove all sharp or pointy objects and relieve me of my shoelaces before they shut the door though.

Nessa has just informed everyone of my predicament because I am sulking and refusing to talk

The twins have swooped down on me and are currently prattling away in my ear about the universe being on my side and how I'm oh 'sooo lucky' to have rounds with '_James!'_

Insert fluttering of eyelashes and dreamy sigh here

Insert revolted look by Nessa and myself here

'_The universe on my side'_ Are they completely delusional?! I'm stuck with James sodding Potter, who happens to have taken it upon himself to personally ensure my life is a living hell! Bollocks! This just gives him more opportunities to annoy my little polka dotted socks off!

_The universe is on my side_ Yeah right, and Voldywart carries around a stuffed pink bunny for comfort

Can I ask what I ever did to deserve this...sadistic punishment? I mean it's not like I go around slagging people off, with the exception of Potter and Black but that's only because they started it. And yeah I do tell people off if I feel they are breaching morals but that's it.

Okay so I used to dip Petunia's pigtails in my paint pot in Sunday school, but it was only because she was such a brownnoser and Tom Ferris, who was my partner in crime, used to help me scare the living daylights out of her with his collection of various insects.

It was heaps of fun, but I always got in trouble for it so I think I've paid my dues on that one. Exactly why I don't understand this obscure punishment.

Ok so I lied, I have done things I shouldn't, like at my cousins wedding I was the flower girl so I took that opportunity of being assumed completely innocent to cause mayhem. But really what's a little chocolate pudding smeared on toilet paper or a little fake vomit in the fruit punch really worth?

See harmless fun

The bride and groom still had fun, they were too snookered to even notice. My great aunt Myrtle went bananas though. Very funny. I had a great time I will have to do that again some time.

Okay so that was harsh to ruin their reception but they didn't mind and I certainly don't deserve to have to patrol with Potter because of it.

Now people like Rosie never get subjected to this sort of torture, and yet she torments innocent members of the opposite sex (well not all of them are innocent but the majority are) daily. She flirts with them making them believe they actually have a chance and then brushes them off, breaking their poor little hearts. But do you see her forced to spend prolonged periods of time in the presence of people who particularly don't like her?

Of course bloody not, she's Rosemary sodding McDonald

That's it, I am now going to go steal some cookies from the house elves and then I will return to my dorm to sulk

Incredibly mature course of action

No one is even going to get screamed at

Well maybe if I bump into Black I can let out my stress on him

Yes, that's all in order, now all I need to do is follow my plan

Easier said then done

* * *

**Wednesday 5th October – History of Magic**

Another Wednesday morning, another morning of wishing I was still tucked up in bed, dreaming of what a dishy lad Daniel Diggory is or how I can possibly bring further grief to Reggie Black.

But no, I'm here in this dismal classroom, being hypnotised to sleep by Binn's monotonous voice.

What to do, what to do

I know a to do list would be good

But not just any to do list, no, no, no this one has a twist to it

**_Lillianna Evans and Vanessa Halleway's_**

**_To DO List_**

**1**) **Older Guy – Appealing because they are more mature and experienced**

_I don't know if they are necessarily more mature but I suppose they have an appeal, maybe because we don't have classes with them every day – LE_

**Are you kidding? Of course they are appealing! In general they are more physically developed and they are so more mature! – VH **

_You're delusional_

**2)** _Bad Boy – They're mysterious and act all badass, you wonder if they are really as bad as they appear or if it's all just an act._

**Yes I have to agree on that one! I love the thrill of the unpredictability, it's so much fun to sneak around**

_I like the mystery part, I want to see what makes them so bad _

**You and me, both **

**3) Quidditch Player – Do I have to say more? **

_Er... Yeah! I don't get what is so greatabout them, they are all egotistical gits in my opinion and they think they should be worshipped for simply smiling at you! _

**Are you serious?! Think about those toned bodies, the one reason I put up with Potter's grueling practices is because everyone gets all hot and sweaty and the guys take off their shirts! Mmmm...Yummy!**

_Pervert! And you wouldn't be talking about one quidditch player in particular, would you? Say Tristan? _

**What? NO! I do not like Tristan Montgomery! Don't be ridiculous, why would you think that?**

_Oh no reason, I just saw you getting awfully friendly with him at the marauders party that's all_

**No we were NOT! I was just talking to him**

_Sure, I was contemplating how we were going to separate the two of you when the time came to go to bad_

**Oh yeah, I'm sure you did a lot of contemplating! **

_What is that supposed to mean? _

**It means I saw you flirting with Potter! The two of you were looking very cozy on the couch!**

_No! HE was flirting with me! And in case you didn't notice I ran away as soon as I realized what he was doing! _

**It took you that long to realize? Good grief you must be thick! **

_Hey watch it! I am no thick just... naïve _

**Pft! You're in denial **

_Of what exactly? And you're one to talk, I see the way you and Tristan look at each other, I wouldn't be surprised if you were having a secret love affair!_

**You're in denial about you feelings for Potter and his feelings for you. And I am most certainly NOT having a secret affair with Tristan, nor am I in denial**

_Bollocks! You're full of crap you know that? I don't think we will be able to finish our list because we have like five minutes left so I am ending this conversation_

**Whatever you say, Ms Denial**

_Ugh! Your incorrigible_!

* * *

**Girls Dorm **

I wonder how much truth was in what Nessa was saying about Potter and denying feelings and all that.

She's probably just trying to whined me up. I mean Potter annoys and antagonizes me at all opportunities.

He definitely doesn't like me

At least I think he doesn't...

Does he?

* * *

Thank you to all the reviewers! I think you are all wonderfully marvelous people and I greatly appreciate your comments and feed back!

**Sarah: **Sorry for the cliffie, I hate them as well. I'm glad you like the story though. Yeah that's me too, I hold everything inside till I explode! Thanks for the review!

**Billy:** Yeah, egos are definitely fun especially writing them. Glad you like the story! Thanks for the review!

**Annmarie:** Yeah, I know I'm evil, my friend recently accused me of being the devil! Hope you enjoyed the update! Thanks for the review!

**SlippersRfuzzy:** lol! You poor thin! I recently feel down our outside stair and shredded my wrist, now when I talk to people they think I have attempted to slit my wrist! It's bloody ugly and bloody sore but I'll live. Thanks for the review!

**Lightening Rain:** psychotic grin I'll see what I can do about Lily turning into raging lunatic, I have an evil imagination of my own! Thanks for the review!

**Athena Diagon Cat:** Thanks for the review and I hope you liked the update!

**Anonymouse: **grins Love the poem, I don't think I have ever had poetry made in my honor before so thanks! I'm glad you kept reading, I got a bit annoyed about not being able to find any different stories so I thought why don't I write one! I understand about being impatient because I am just the same! Thanks for the reviews!

**Ma a9aDiG: **thank you for the compliment and the review!

Please remember to...

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	12. Chapter 12

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Thursday 7th October – Charms **

Ugh! Today is not a good day, _not at all_.

First off I had to have a freezing cold shower because Dana got up early and had a shower. Er... Since when does this happen? She never gets up early! However, she still had her forty five minute shower, definitely the same old Dana.

If she had a ten minute shower I would have been worried that aliens had taken over her body. But the water was as icy cold as ever when I got in after her so there's a nothing to fret about ...

At least I hope not, I'll ask her about the whole waking-up-of-her-own-free-will-before-eight thing later

Does any one know how many times you can fall over your own feat before it becomes physically impossible?

Well anyway I think I accomplished the impossible and managed to trip, slip, stumble and tumble my way down to the great hall. Making Mr Magoo look like the epitome of grace. Yes, sadly that's how disturbingly uncoordinated I am. People couldn't help but stare at my finesse, or lack there of.

People don't usually stare.

Today they're staring.

Hmmm...

I'm having a horridly klutzy day, even by my standards. As I have said before I've managed just to become part of the background of Hogwarts halls. Today however is different, for some reason every time I accidentally slip I have at least ten people look at me, that's excluding my friends.

I hate being a klutz

Also I keep spacing out on people and then when I do listen to what they're saying I give this horribly ditzy answer. Ugh! I disgust even myself, if I was Daniel, who happens to be sitting next to me trying to get me to cooperate, I would smack me one across the head. Fortunately for me he is far to sweet to cause me any grievous bodily harm

I'm a spaced out klutz and there is no way to get around that

Good gravy! I must be the clumsiest klutz this school as ever possessed. I have just expertly spilled my inkbottle all down Rachael Stephens' shirt. I apologised profusely but she just patiently told me that it's all right and that it's not permeant so not to worry. She is such a sweetie, she didn't even get mad! An awful lot of people could do well to take a leaf out of Rachael's book.

But really my klutziness can be attributed to the fact I'm usually off in fairyland. In other words my coordination is just fine but I don't concentrate on the things I should be. When I do something I get absorbed into it. Like with homework, my friends don't even bother talking to me cause I don't register their voices.

I believe at one stage they tried for 15 minutes straight to get my attention and then gave up. I didn't even notice they had said anything for a further 10 minutes. As I said I get immersed in to whatever I'm doing.

Oh crap! I better go see what Daniel wants, I just peeked at him and he is sorta ticked off. He is still a bit annoyed at me about the prefect meeting even though I maintain it was in no way what soever my fault

Bleeding hell! That reminds me I have to patrol with Potter tonight! Ugh, an I thought my day couldn't get any worse.

Stupid, stupid Lily!

Always remember the law of being Lily Evans: If anything can go wrong it will

Bollocks

* * *

**Girl's Dorm**

Well that could have been worse

By worse I mean if say a hundred hippogriffs went on a rampage and took out Professor Yoghurty and somehow it was traced back to Potter and I.

Truly that's what a horribly emotionally scarring experience it was

I met Potter in the entrance hall and we made our way to the dungeons, which were the first on our list of areas to inspect.

Can you say awkward silence?

I mean I haven't seen the bloke since I completely lost it at him and told him in not so nice terms to sod off. Thankfully he seemed to have taken the hint and I haven't had any encounters with him since.

He had his annoying smirk upon his face, his eyes dancing in the torch light and his posture was casually slouched. I have to say I can see why the twins drool over him...

I would just never admit it.

We were just about to leave the dungeons when I swear I heard the swish of a cloak and I would testify under oath a silvery glint in the corner of my eye. I whipped around to find the source of the silver but there was nothing there, not even a silver candlestick that could have caused the shine.

"What's the matter?" Potter asked

"Sshhh!"

I looked at the place I saw the flash and I thought I could here breathing, apart from Potter's (unfortunately he was still breathing) and my own. It was shallow and as though the breather had been running recently

"What?"

Bloody Potter! I turned to look at him and glared

"There's someone here, I heard their breathing"

Potter looked at me with an eyebrow raised and that damned smirk

"Come on, there's nothing here, besides where would they hid?"

He has a point a point but still there are other ways of hiding and there are many different ways of achieving invisibility. But I just pursed my lips and followed him up the stairs that lead out of the dungeons

I was half way up when I heard what sounded suspiciously like the squeaking of hinges. I whipped around and stared down the hall. That door had definitely not been ajar before.

I made my way down the stairs and approached the door

"What are you doing now?" came Potter's exasperated voice

"The door to Dungeon three is open and it most certainly wasn't open a second a go! Like I said before some one is down here!"

The stupid pillock would have realised that if he actually used his eyes

"Don't be thick, a draught probably just blew it open"

Now he's being a twat and who is he to call me thick?

"Excuse me but there is no draught, don't insult my intelligence"

Potter glared in the direction of the wall just next to the door that was behind me

"What are you glaring at the wall for? It never did anything to you!"

He let out a sigh

"If you're so convinced there is something there we'll open the door and have a look"

He opened the door and sure enough nothing was there but I swear something brushed past me.

After that we carried out the rest of our rounds in silence

Ugh! I am so appealing to Amy to change the roster as soon as possible

I still say there was someone there

* * *

**Saturday 9th October – Common Room **

I asked Dana about her getting up early the other day, which I still can't get over seeing as it was of her own free will and on a school morning as well. She said that she had this weird dream with lots of green light and screaming.

But then she brushed it off and went on to tell us all about her newest objective and is still prattling at the moment I just can't be bothered listening. His name is Kaleb or something and he's in Hufflepuff.

Something very strange happened earlier and it still has me wondering

I was coming back from the library where I had been studying after dinner. I had a bunch of books for the research assignment for Defence Against the Dark Arts, that deluded professor wants two rolls parchment on vampires and their history.

Anyway I bumped into someone and knocked them over, scattering my books at the same time.

"Oh sorry! I didn't see you th-" the words died in my throat

It was my old pal Reggie, but it that wasn't the reason I was staring at him. He didn't exactly look like should be. I got up, still staring at him

"Sweet Merlin! Black, what happened to you? You look like you fell 50ft off your broom!"

That's no exaggeration, in fact I was being incredibly polite leaving it at that, he looked as though a Chimaera had mauled him... or maybe it was a Griffin of some sort.

He looked at me sullenly from the floor

"Why don't you go ask your boyfriend"

Boyfriend? What boyfriend? I don't have boyfriend! It's hard enough finding a guy to go on a date with, let alone a boyfriend!

"Er... Black did you hit your head when you got those two shiners? Because I don't have a boyfriend. I mean you could have got a concussion or something"

I looked at him with concern, I don't like the guy but I'm not completely heartless. I mean he could die if he's left alone with a concussion. Sure, I'd love to cause him some serious pain at times but I don't want him dead!

His face all of a sudden turned into a grin

"You don't know?"

Truthfully it was more a statement than a question

"Don't know what?"

Hopefully he'll be able to clear up my confusion for me

"This is just classic, he beat's the crap out of me in your name and you don't even know" Black answered with a whopping great smile

Or not

"Who're you talking about?"

Can't he just give me a straight answer?

"Can you seriously think of no one that would do this to me in your name?"

I hate riddles I never was good at them

"Er... no! At least no one with the actual physical ability! Nessa and Rhi would dearly like to cause you pain but they would probably curse you, so... no, I can't think of any one"

Black smirked at me

"You really are thick, aren't you?" He said before getting up and walking away

Hey, wait a second, I'll admit I'm not the sharpest needle in the pin cushion but that isn't nice

So here I am wondering what the hell he ment by that little comment. I have been looking at all my friends to see if any have been fight recently but no I can't see anyone I know with any unusual bruises or cuts.

I immediately eliminated Rhi, Dana and Bridget because none of them have the strength to cause Black any physical harm and they would curse him. Black was definitely ruffed up _the muggle way._

Nessa can pack a bloody good punch but I don't think she would have kept quiet about beating the crap out of Black. She seems completely normal, no blood, bruises or anything

Tri and Cam both have the muscle to do that sort of damage but they need to have been seriously provoked before they will lift a finger. Lazy prats that they are. Plus neither is acting weird or telling me that Black won't be a problem for a while

I even made a few _subtle _enquiries (well subtle by my standards anyway) to Daniel to see if he knew anything about it but he just shrugged it off. He didn't have any bruises either. Daniel is the only one I can think off that Black would refer to as my boyfriend.

This is seriously getting to me

I will be looking into this thoroughly... in the morning

* * *

**Monday 11th October – Girl's Dorm **

Sodding Slytherins!

Right now I should be at the prefects meeting but I have decided my presence in still not necessary. No I'm not still avoiding the Head Boy! Just the Slytherins...

Black won't shut up about the whole boyfriend thing and keeps making all these revolting comments about my phantom boyfriend and myself. Ugh! I seriously want to rip out his voice box and feed it to Hagrid's three headed dog.

But then he would probably just make rude gesture with his hands. And to think I actually felt compassion for this oaf.

At the moment I am lying in my bed with the covers pulled over my head and I'm writing by wand light. Rhi shook her head at me, the twins just laughed and Nessa outright called me a coward and said she was ashamed of me because I wasn't behaving like a true Gryffindor.

Yeah, well, I'm a true Gryffindor I just need a break that's all. None of them are about to force me to go to the meeting because they have seen what I have had to put up with all day.

Let's just say Reggie and his motley crew can make things for me most uncomfortable when they want to.

Also I have come to the conclusion that if I ever find out the person or persons who beat the crap out of Black I will most likely sock'em one in the jaw for the emotional pain they have caused me.

I asked Amy about the roster and she said there was nothing she could do about it, Potter was quite stubborn that the prefects should learn their lesson. Blasted Potter! Couldn't he just _not_ be a wanker for _a whole five seconds_ and change it back to the normal roster and just put those prefects abusing their power on probation?

Of course not! This is Potter we're talking about 

Oh sod him!

Maybe I should take this opportunity while I'm sulking to put down a bit of information about the world outside of the walls of Hogwarts.

I noticed that in all my entries I hardly ever breach important subjects that are above boys, homework and horrendous hair. But don't judge me by this diary I do actually have a deeper level of thought than this. Promise!

But come on, every sixteen year old girl's mind looks a bit like mine! There are some things that I like to ignore or at least push to the very back of my mind. As a kid you tend to forget about all the horrendous things happening in our world and just live in ignorant bliss that is childhood.

From my diary I sound horribly shallow, self absorbed and superficial, which I guess to some extent I am. It could even be seen as bordering on narcissistic. But I promise I do pay attention to the world around me, I just don't like what I see.

I'll start with the muggle world

At the moment there is a war between the two superpowers of the world, the United States of America and the USSR. It's called the cold war because neither is actually firing weapons; they are just trying to out do each other with their accumulation of nuclear weapons. And they are interfering in a actual war, the Vietnam war, but their involvement is just a front to get at one another.

It doesn't really affect us here in Britain, not that much anyway.

The magical world is a different story

There this is new wack job called Lord Voldemort, who thinks that muggles and muggleborns are the scum of the earth and wishes to do a Hitler and purify the wizarding world by getting rid of all muggleborns. Namely me.

He will do anything to get his way and isn't afraid to knock off a few pure bloods that get in his way. So really being a muggleborn puts me in a lot of danger, not to mention my family. If Voldemort decides I'm his new victim, my family will be the first to go. He likes to make people to suffer.

He has a bunch of power hungry, pure blood maniac followers who call themselves Death Eaters. They torture and kill muggles for fun, it's disgusting.

Voldemort

The name alone sends chills of fear down the spine of most wizards and witches, as it should. Most people call him You Know Who or He Who Must Not Be Named, that's how much they fear him.

Voldemort is evil, pure evil.

Feck this is depressing, I need a cookie

* * *

Crickey! I got a shock when I saw the amount of reviews I had received there was something like eighteen all up! My goodness you are all such lovely, lovely people, I feel loved. Thankyou all very much

**SlippersRfuzzy: **Definitely sucks! You poor petal! I hope you're all right now. My klutziness gets me into all kinds of trouble. Thankyou for the compliments, I'm glad you're enjoying the musings of my scrambled mind. Thanks for the review!

**Billy:** Thankyou very much for the compliments, you make me blush. I'm glad I can keep you entertain and keep your interest. Thanks for the review!

**CPegasus: **Thankyou very, very, very much for all your reviews!!! You reviewed for every chapter! That means a lot to me for your dedication. I'm glad you like my story and my twisted way of seeing things. Thanks for the review!

**Tweedles:** Yeah, Lily usually is a very one dimensional character so I got fed up and decided to give her my own little twist! I mean the mind of every sixteen year old girl now doesn't it? (I for one should know that to be very true) I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the review!

**Anonymouse:** The denial: what can I say with out completely ruining the story... just stay tuned. 'Interesting' has been the general consensus for the thrilling to do list but yes people actually do these (mainly bored teenagers who have nothing better to do with their maths lesson) thankyou very much for the compliments but I don't think I will able to live up to such standards! Thanks for the review!

**Lightening Rain: **I'm on it, just laying the foundations so that Lily can have a complete and utter spaz out. Did you say cookies? I love cookies! They are my all time favourite food (followed closely by pizza and Mei Goreng) especially chocolate chip cookies hint hint! Just joking! Glad your enjoying it! Thanks for the review!

**Willow 2004: **Thanks for the comment about the reviews but I'm happy when just one person reviews. Though I must admit this many sent me over the edge and I still have the psychotic grin on my face. I'm glad you find my story worth reading. Thanks for the review!

**All-American-Tease:** I'm glad you think it's funny that was my original intention along with breaking the stereotype that lurks over Lily's character. Plus it's heaps of fun to write! Thanks for the review!

Now every one must tell me what there favourite cupcake is, as I would like to reward you all with one! Flavour, sprinkles, toppings the lot!

**Now would anyone like to be my beta reader?** I think I need one desperately because I am such a horrid English student (I'm only just passing at the moment) So if any one would like to be my beta please contact me at:

Thankyou all very much!

R

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	13. Chapter 13

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Thursday 14th October – Library**

I never did get my cookie

Sigh

But you know what after about five days of relentless taunting from the Slytherins I am ready to explode and I have no mercy for anyone who is stupid enough to get on my nerves.

Today I have given death glares to any person who comes near me, even teachers. People are quite wisely avoiding me. Finally they seem to get the message that I do not find this little rumor at all humorous.

I swear on the wand of Merlin when I find out the person who ruffled Black's feathers, by the time I'm finished with them they will not be able to reproduce.

Ever

Charlie just sat down next to me

Oh happiness is me - Tutoring

Just what I need to be doing on a day like today, Charlie seems unaffected by my morbid mood as he is grinning like an idiot.

"What're you scowling at the quill for? What did it ever do to you?" he said jokingly as he got out his books.

I just glared at him

"Sorry, didn't mean to offend you"

I went back to scowling at the quill as though it was the very bane of my existence. Well I'm imaging it to be Black's head, that's close enough.

"Er... What's up?"

I was tempted to say the sky but instead I deepened my scowl

"I have a boyfriend"

He blinked for a couple of seconds

"And that's a bad thing?"

I glared at him and he quickly added

"I mean, er, you do? Who?"

I sighed

"That's just the thing, I don't know who"

He got this sweet, confused look on his boyish face

"Er... How can you not know who?"

That's when I exploded

"I DON'T KNOW! FOR SOME REASON EVERYONE THINKS I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, THANKS TO REGULUS BLACK THE SCUM OF THE EARTH! I MEAN WHEN YOU GET A BOYFRIEND YOU'RE THE FIRST TO KNOW, _NOT YOUR WORST ENEMY_!"

Damn, that felt good, I should do that more often

"What's that about Regulus Black?" Charlie inquired

I told him about my meeting with Reggie

"Well it sounds to me as though some guy has a crush on you and Black must have said something offensive that got him all worked up" Charlie said sagely

I just blinked.

Is this boy completely unhinged? Guys don't get a crush on me! I am one of those girls that guys most certainly never even think about because I am too absorbed in other interests to pay them any attention and vice versa. And the fact that I'm no beauty queen doesn't help

"Boys don't get a crush on the likes of me!" I cried indignantly

Charlie just stared at me

"Why not?"

Talk about opening Pandora's Box

"Just look at me! I get completely wrapped up in my studies, I don't wear anything that would be classified as trendy and I don't exactly have supermodel good looks! Guys just don't go for girls like me"

Charlie looks at me as though I am deranged and should seek immediate psychological help

"So?"

'_So?' 'So?!'_ What does he mean '_So?'_

"So! I'm boring! I'm not what any guy looks for in a girlfriend!"

He doesn't look convinced

"Oh shut up and get your charms book out"

Little smart arse. But really who would want me as their girlfriend? Everyone looks at me as though I'm crazy. Pft! The bloke who claims he likes me is the one who needs the psychiatrist

Sod it, I need another cookie

* * *

**Saturday 16th October – By the Lake **

I finally got around to asking Rhi, Nessa and the twins about my Potter problem. All of them just looked at me as though I was mentally retarded. I don't know why they should be concerned about my mental health, they're thinking over what I just told them.

Tri and Cam have kidnapped Daniel and they said they're off for the day to do manly things; which to me means drink some butter beer, look at some porn and have belching competitions.

Let's hope I'm wrong shall we

Well I took this opportunity to have a girly chat and told the girls about how Potter had taken it upon himself to be a prick and annoy the hell out of me. I really do hate that smirk and I told them so

Dana and Bridget have this stunned look on their faces. Rhi looks thoughtful. Nessa looks as though she has just had an epiphany and a massive grin has just spread itself across her face. She looks like she knows something.

I was hoping they could help me out here and give a bit of advice on how the hell I am to get rid of the menace that is Potter. I already have Black fouling up my life I don't need Potter mucking it up as well.

Dana's the first to speak

"Are you serious?"

_No, I'm making it all up_

_This' precisely why I keep a diary, I can be as sarcastic and scathing as I like and nobody tells me off_

"Er... yeah"

She stares at me again

"What?!"

_What? I only have one head...well I'm pretty sure I only have one, so why's she looking at me like that? _

_Nessa has decided to enter the conversation maybe, being the excellent friend she is, she'll clear up this mess for me_

"Hey when was it you said that Black got ruffed up? Saturday?"

_Or she could just let me flounder_

I nod

"You saw him at what, about eight thirty, nine-ish?"

I nod again

_What is she getting at?_

Her grin just got wider if that's possible

"If you'll excuse me ladies I have to go check what time _quidditch practice starts tonight_"

Rhi, Dana and Bridget snapped their heads in Nessa's direction, all with wide eyes, watching as she walked away. I could swear I saw her wink in their direction.

_I am definitely missing something here_  
  
_**I just don't know what**_

"Well, do you have any ideas of how I can solve my problem?"

"What problem?" was the twins' response

_Ugh! Can't they keep on topic?_

"Potter! And the fact that his favorite pastime is to tick me off whenever possible"

Rhi put a hand on my shoulder

"Have you ever tried looking at this from a different angle?"

I looked at here blankly

_There's a different angle? What other possible angle is there? For some reason Potter has come to dislike me immensely and finds it funny to get me as ticked off as possible_

_There is no other angle! _

I look at her blankly

"Lily, seriously, take a different perspective, maybe then things will be clearer" Bridget offers

I look from Bridget to Rhi to Dana and back at Bridget

_Am I the only one here who has no idea what they're talking about?_

"I can't see it from any other angle/perspective than the one I have. Now if you know something why don't you just tell me?"

Dana smiled at me like I was a five year old asking why apples grow on trees

"Think about it Banana, Potter doesn't do this to everyone"

Ugh! This must be bad if she's using my nickname, given to me by my ten year old brother. Dana only uses it when she's patronising me or in a super hyper mood. I think it's the former this time round.

_And of course Potter doesn't do it to everyone otherwise he wouldn't be as well liked as he is, now would he? _

"Exactly! What does he have against me?"

Dana rolled her eyes

"You really are blind"

Now that I am taking personally! I am not blind, oblivious every now and then... but not blind!

Okay so that was awful lie, I'm oblivious most of the time but I can pick up on things when I want too! Honestly I can! But calling me blind is going just a little bit too far

We have decided to go tickle the giant squid. It's basking in the shallow water, soaking up the autumn sun.

I bet the squid never has Potter problems

Lucky thing

* * *

**Sunday 24th October – Girl's Dorm Bathroom**

Have I really been that much of horrid, vile, wicked, despicable, loathsome person?

I didn't think I was but then again the universe would never be this cruel unless it had a reason, now would it? Can't I just turn into a cockroach now and get all this bad karma out of the way?

What do you know, the one boy I set my heart on, happens to think of me as a little sister! Yes, I am sad to say Daniel Diggory sees me solely as a little sister who is '_fun to be with'_ and _'good for a laugh'_! _'Nothing more'_!

Little sister! Since when do I give off those vibes? I want to snog him senseless not have him tuck me up in bed and read me a bedtime story! Over the last week I have been trying to spend as much time as possible with him. I have been flirting my little heart out and this is what I get, a slap in the face!

All week we have been having these flirty conversations, which made me absolutely ecstatic, and we have been spending a great deal of time together. Hence why I haven't had time to write in here, I've been having way too much fun with Daniel! I thought we were going somewhere! But no, he didn't mean any of it! He was just fooling around!

Well you know what?

Sod 'im!

Sod the whole sodding lot of them!

Men!

Bunch of wankerish prats!

Sod 'em all!

That's the last time I entrust my feelings of intense love to a guy! Here I am, ready to profess my undying love for him and what does he think of me?

As a sodding little sodding SISTER!

Is there a greater insult known to mankind?

I feel nothing but lust, love and longing when I'm around him and what does he feel?

Zip, zilch, nada

ZERO!!!!!

Doesn't feel a bloody thing! Is he dead to emotion or is it just me?

Oh my giddy aunt!

It's me!

I have no affect on his raging teenage male hormones! Am I really that repulsive? Do I really have such a diminutive affect on the opposite sex? That I don't even register on the potential girlfriend radar of any guy?

Tristan and Cam think of me as a sister as well that I can live since I have been good friends with them since the first day of first year. Daniel I've only really known since last year when we were partnered as the prefects.

I hate being Miss Wall-Flower-Who-No-One-Will-Ever-See-In-A-Romantic-Light.

It sucks. Big time

And how, you may ask, did I become privy to such information?

I'll tell you how, I heard him!

(At least now I have calmed down enough to explain things properly, looking over my previous writing I will be lucky if I can understand a word of it in the morning)

I was in the library, how very unusual for me, and I was sitting in the transfiguration study area, completely shielded from view by all the sodding books I needed for my essays. Sodding transfiguration, takes to bleeding long to write a sodding essay for that sodding subject.

I was thoroughly annoyed at having to write the bleeding essay so you can imagine my delight when I heard the sweet melodic tones of my favorite Gryffindor prefect. I was about to pop my head out from behind my fortress of books when I heard who he was talking to.

Sirius Black

My immediate thought was _'What the hell is Daniel doing talking to him of all people?'_ Then I heard a snatchet of their conversation, which just got me even more confused.

They were talking about _me_!

What on earth is Sirius Black doing talking about me with Daniel? Why in this world would he be asking about me? How does he even know who I am? Shouldn't he be off snogging some poor defenseless fifth year Hufflepuff in a broom closet somewhere?

What really got me interested was Black's next question, so interested in fact I peeked out from behind my stronghold to witness the reply

"So what's going on between you and Evans?"

Daniel hesitated for a moment; he gave Black a weary look before answering

"We're just friends, I think of her as a little sister really, she's fun to be with and is always good for a laugh"

"Nothing more?" Inquired Black

"Nothing more" He replied with a sigh

"Good, good" was all Black said before striding off out of the library

Daniel sighed again before grabbing a transfiguration book needed for that damned essay, which was lying forgotten on the table in front of me by this time, before he too left the library

Immediately my eyes filled with tears and I raced up here, locked my self in the bathroom, where I am presently and cried my eyes out.

I sobbed till I could no longer breath. Pointedly ignoring my friends, who were relentlessly knocking on the door, pleading with me to tell them what was wrong.

And now I'm writing in here

I mean I always knew that there was little chance Daniel would ever see me in that way, but to have it spelled out so clearly... it was just too much and I couldn't stand it any longer.

Unrequited love sucks.

You can be absolutely besotted with someone, completely head over heals in love with them, prepared to lay down your life for them and they... well they can be totally unaware that you even exist.

As I said love sucks

You know what I reckon those Blacks have it in for me! Reggie taunts me to no end, making sure every shred of dignity I could possibly possessed in wrenched from me. Mean while his brother, Star boy, sees to it that I know exactly how unappealing I am to the male population, ensuring that I have every ounce of self respect shattered into a thousand pieces

Sodding Blacks!

Sodding Daniel!

Sodding Blokes!

They can all go jump for all I care

Damn, I need that cookie

* * *

Thank you very much to all those who reviewed and to my lovely betas Cait and Ann!

Now I have to ask all reviewers this one question: **What would YOU like to happen between Lily and James? **

I have a fairly good idea what I want to happen but I would appreciate your feed back so that I can determine where the story seems to be going. But I am open to all suggestions about my story, so go a head, tell me inn a review what you think or email me at cherry cola 88 at hotmail dot com

**Ann:** I definitely have the whole klutz thing down pat as well. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for the review!

**Anonymouse:** I'm ecstatic I made your day! I get a bit annoyed or upset or just plain pissed off, just reading a story cheers me up. Glad you're enjoying it. Well hopefully you have your suspicions confirmed... not hard to guess. But then again it's not supposed to be just so you can witness Lily's ultimate confusion. Thanks for the review hands over vanilla cup cake with vanilla icy gum drops and jelly tots on top By the way, do you know what jelly tots are? Or are the just an Australian thing?

**Billy:** Very much so, if not more fun to write! I'm glad you like how things are turning out but remember to tell me, by review or email, how you would like things to go. Do fruit flies really die of that or did you just make it up? Well I have a weird little fact for you as well: Did you know that you are 100 times more likely to die of a coconut falling on your head then being attacked by a shark? Thanks for the review!

**CPegasus:** Thanks for the candy bar! Massive grin on face I realise Hagrid wouldn't have Fluffy yet but I just slipped that in, I don't really go by the books, I have way to many ideas of my own. Since you're on a diet you can have a penguin. No, they're not waddling little birds that would like to live in your refrigerator and plot the demise of the world. It's a type of chocolate biscuit, chocolate cream in between chocolate biscuit and dipped in milk chocolate. They are the bomb. They are also from the UK so they're hard to get hold off. Thanks for the review!

**Rena Blue:** Thankyou for the offer to beta but I now have two betas! That's okay about the slang don't worry, I did that intentionally because I don't like to use the real thing. That is just a much nicer way of saying it and you'll notice I don't use much hard core profanity, it doesn't sound nice and I don't think it's necessary. Thanks for the review!

**Cait: **You poor, poor petal! I feel your pain I missed the grace gene as well, all my family is good at sports and dance and then there's little old me, with two left feet and can't kick a footy to save her life! I'm glad you like the story so far! Thanks for the review!

**Nimu88:** Excellent! Nothing like a fellow procrastinator reviewing to get me excited! I do that all the time, I should be doing homework but instead I'm off reading or writing fan fiction. I got thoroughly annoyed in the way Lily was stereotypically presented so I thought sod it! I'll just write her how I would like to see her portrayed. Thanks for the review!

**Mello80: **You never know what's going to happen but keep reading; it shall all be made clear to you... Even if it isn't to Lily, but that's half the fun, wondering how she can be so oblivious. Thanks for the review!

**Lightening Rain:** Thanks for the cookies! Yes, Lily will have her blow out soon, I promise! Mei Gorang is an Indonesian dish, fried noodles with fried vegetables and crispy chicken bits. But I can I please use "sounds like some kind of Mongolian delicacy involving fried scorpions and fermented yak's milk" for my story? Pretty, pretty please? That made me crack up, my parents were giving me weird looks for laughing at the computer. Thanks for the review! Hands over a chocolate cupcake with whipped cream and a cherry (Are you by any chance a chocolate fiend?)

**JackSparrowYouRMine:** Thanyou very much for the last names, I will change that as soon as possible. I'm glad you like the story. Sorry if Lily's friends are a bit confusing, here's a list: Rhiannon (Rhi), Vanessa (Nessa), Dana and Bridget (twins), Tristan (Tri), Cameron (Cam) and Daniel. Also the twins have thier celtic names Blodeuedd (Dana) and Cliodahna (Bridget). I put up a description of each at the end of chapter one if that helps, but i thin i may have said that Cameron was a quidditch player on accident. I hope that clears things up! Thanks for the review!

Please remember to tell me what you want to happen and to

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	14. Chapter 14

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

* * *

**Thursday 28th October – Girl's Dorm **

I'm GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

Ugh!

Green!

Would you believe it, I'm covered in green from head to foot and not happy about it.

It's everywhere, on my arms, my hands, on my face it's even on shirt and skirt!

Aaaaaggggggggghhhhhh!

It's under my nails!

Ewwwwww that's yucky, yucky, yucky!

I hate things under my fingernails it just feels sooo disgusting

I think I may have greenophobia – fear of all things green, sticky, liquid things in particular

shudder

Some TWAT thought it would be ohs o funny to make my quill explode with green ink when I went to write with it when I was in the library earlier. I have a sneaking suspicion of who it was... the Marauders.

Normally when a prank is pulled on me I suspect Reggie, but I doubt he even knows Hogwarts has one. Remus, however, was sitting at the table near me and I swear I saw him watching me from the corner of his eye.

He may seem like the sensible and level headed one but I know for a fact that's just a cover. Remus in probably the most cunning, treacherous and brilliant of them all. He has constructed this illusion of being innocent and sweet, but I know he's really the brains behind the Marauders. I'm not saying Potter and Black don't come up with excellent pranks, it's just that Remus fine tunes and elaborates on their ideas.

I think Remus was getting me back for being such a cow to him the other day. Well I was having one of my klutz fests, they happen quite often, and I happened to snap at Remus when he asked me what was wrong.

Hey! I was in a rather fragile state, I had just had a rather nasty run in with the Queen of Perfection herself, Rosie.

She didn't appreciate being knocked to the ground or having her hair filled with the whipped cream and custard that was previously my chocolate éclair. I was understandably upset about losing my éclair, Rosie was more upset that she was now wearing a desert as a hair accessory and the fact that we were in a tangled heap on the floor.

Is it my fault Rhi leaves her stupid books everywhere?

_I don't think so_

She was glaring at me as I sat up, so I thought I had better apologise

"I'm really sorry Rosemary, I tripped on Rhi's books"

She's still glaring,

Crap that can mean only one thing...

She was flirting...

and it was high profile

Bugger

"You never miss an opportunity to embarrass me do you? Just because I can get the attention of any boy I want does not give you the right to harass me! I know you're envious Lily but could you at least try to keep your jealous urges under control" she hissed at me with her eyes mere slits.

I sat there dumfounded

Rhi, Bridget and Dana were at the top of the stairs, pissing themselves with silent laughter and Tri and Cam, who had been playing a game of chess were trying to smother the sound of their chuckles by swallowing their hands.

I stared at Rosemary

_Jealous? Of Rosie? _

_Is she completely deluded? I wouldn't want whatever she thinks she has (except maybe the natural grace) in a million years! _

I heard some more suppressed sniggering to my right and looked over at these rude people, who have obviously never heard of subtlety, with a death glare.

Could my day get any worse?

Who should be siting there but Black and Potter. Now I realise why Rosemary dear is so upset with me, she was flirting with the handsome half of the Marauders. Geez, am I going to cop it now.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath to control myself and stood up, then helped Rosemary up

"I really am terribly sorry Rosemary, I didn't mean to embarrass you and I'm sorry you seem to think that I am rancorous towards you." I said quietly with my head held high

I performed a cleaning spell before continuing "As I said before I didn't mean for this to happen....and will you two please shut up" I snapped out the last part at the famous duo, who just answered me with identical evil grins

I smoothed out my uniform before exiting the common room with what little dignity and grace I had left. Rhi, Dana and Bridget joined me outside in the corridor where I was banging my head against the wall

"Excellent Lily, bloody excellent!" Gasped out Bridget

"Yeah, did you see her face? It was hilarious" Rhi chimed in

"Did you here her? _'I know you're envious Lily but could you at least try to keep your jealous urges under control'_ As if!" Mimicked Dana

Bloody hell! You'd think they would try and cheer me up but no, my friends embellish my embarrassing moments so I will never be able to live them down!

I've said it once and I'll say it again: With friends like mine who needs enemies

To make matters worse, when I finally shook off my friends and made my way to the library I met Remus on the way and bit his head off when he tried to talk to me.

But that is no reason to turn a person GREEN!

Okay you may be thinking what the hell is this girl going on about? She hates green? Her eyes are green for Christ's sake!

Well I don't care; I have a severe dislike for the colour green, especially when it happens to be my skin tone.

After my quill exploded I sat there in shock trying, and failing, to comprehend what happened. Remus looked over at me and I could tell he was suppressing a grin, must have gone off better than expected. Cam came round the corner from the Astronomy section and burst into laughter.

I finally regained the use of my body and looked all around me

GREEN!!!

I was hysterical and Cam came over and tried to calm me down a bit, which just got me even more distressed.

Calm down?! How can anyone calm down when they're _green_?!

He eventually sent me off to the bathroom, promising to clean up all my books for me.

I managed to drag myself to the nearest girl's loo, drawing a lot of funny looks as I went past. I cleaned my self up as best I could. My sleaves had been rolled up and my tie was loosened so I had splatters of green all over my hands and chest area, also little splashes all over my face.

My shirt was completely ruined and I really didn't need any more confrontations but what do you know, the law of being Lily Evans never fails.

As I came out of the bathroom I met Potter

Great, bloody great, just what I need, Potter to see me like this

"Nice look Evans it really suites you, brings out the colour of your eyes"

I almost strangled him, I had managed to get most of the ink out but I still had a few stains on my arms, chest and face.

"Don't forget we have patrol tomorrow night" And with that said he stroll off in the direction of the kitchens

Ugh! Just what I needed when stained green, to be reminded that I have to patrol with Potter by Potter, who was grinning at my predicament like a Cheshire cat.

My god I look awful, what does he mean it brings out the colour of my eyes?

Wait one cotton pickin' minute, why should I care what Potter says or thinks?

Oh dear, I have serious issues

Ugh! Can I crawl into a hole and die now or am I required to walk barefoot across hot coals as well?

* * *

**Friday 29th October – Herbology **

It's now been five days since I had Daniel's feelings revealed in all their knicker baring glory.

I have been sulking and with good bloody reason!

And to add insult to injury he seems to be avoiding me, tosser.

What is so damn repulsive about me huh?

I shower daily, I don't have bad breath, my feet don't smell

So why is it that every time he catches a glimpse of him he runs in the other direction.

I have been moping all week, that's probably why I freaked out so much about the green ink, there's too much pressure, too much is happening at once. I can't handle this!

Admittedly I haven't told anyone about my feeling for Daniel so it's my own fault I have no one to share my troubles with really. But I have been trying to act as though nothing is wrong around my friends, peers and professors.

LOVE SUCKS...

HARD

I've also still got that problem of somehow acquiring a boyfriend some where along the road and still have no clue as to who it is. Reggie of course won't let up about it. But I have a feeling who ever my supposed 'boyfriend' is will be having a harder time that me. Black looked especially happy that I didn't know who that person was.

But the thing is everyone, and I mean everyone, thinks I have a boyfriend

Damn it! Now I'm depressed

But that isn't entirely Daniel's fault or too do with the whole boyfriend thing. This morning at breakfast the Daily Prophet reported that a muggleborn's family had been attacked by the rising dark lord Voldemort.

The poor girl was only a third year Hufflepuff, both her parents and little sister had been killed. There was a sort of smoke sign above the house shaped like a skull with a snake protruding from its mouth. The paper called it 'the Dark Mark'.

And me being the twat I am just had to ask

'What are they doing to catch Voldemort?'

As you can guess that went over well, especially with those from wizarding families. I was immediately told to shut up and not to say 'the name'.

Ooooh scary! The word is going to come to life, acquiring body, soul and a wand from nowhere, and curse me to next thursday now ain't it? If I had of said that I would probably end up in St Mungo's psychiatric ward and a 72hr lock down.

Sheesh, I have never known so many people to be afraid of a silly little word. I mean it's not even his real name, it's one he made up. Well, I suppose he had to really, I doubt anyone would get the willies if someone said Tom Riddle.

roll eyes

I wouldn't be surprised if wasn't even 'pureblood' as he puts it, like Hitler wasn't even Aryan. Well it's plausible I mean bangs on about this 'pureblood' concept enough.

Oh well I've had enough of being deary and depressing, I have to go on rounds now with Potter...

Ugh!

May the force be with me

* * *

**Common Room**

Okay...

That was... weird

I just went on patrol with Potter and he was actually polite, which was a little unnerving.

I met him at the entrance to the common room and we set of from there. I was feeling miserable but I didn't feel the need to cover up my feelings seeing as it was only Potter and I really couldn't care less if he thought I was unhappy or not.

After about 15 minutes of silence, Potter broke the silence

"So, what's the matter?"

I looked at him with my face expressionless and opened my mouth to tell him there was nothing wrong but he cut me off

"Don't tell me there isn't anything wrong because there obviously is, you always have a smile on your face or at least an expression"

I just stared at him

Since when does he know my facial expressions? 

"Fine, I'm just a bit psyched out about the attack by Voldemort this morning"

Okay so I lied, well I didn't actually I more told a half truth, but then again to tell the truth is to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Fine I DID lie, but I don't want Potter knowing personal problems there... well personal

Hey, I saw that look! He gave me a funny look! When I said Voldemort

Oh crap not another one of those onomatophobic freaks!

I cocked an eyebrow

"You wouldn't happen to be onomatophobic now would you?"

He clenched his brows together

"Whatphobic?"

I rolled my eyes

Idiot

"On-o-mat-o-phobic" I said nice and slow in case he really was as stupid as he looks

He glared at me for the patronising tone and I just smiled sweetly back

"Okay and what is that a phobia of?"

"It's the fear of hearing a certain word/s or name/s"

He quirked an eyebrow at me

"Why do you ask if I'm afraid of hearing a word or name?"

Good grief, I didn't realise he was this thick, thick as two short planks I tell you

"Because you gave me a funny look when I said Voldemort"

He did it again!

"See you just did it again! So you must be onomatophobic" I announced triumphantly and somewhat indignantly

"I did give you _'a funny look'_ because you said the name" I opened my mouth to say that he just proved me right but he continued on "But it was because I didn't expect you to say Voldemort seeing as the vast majority of the wizarding world refuses to call him anything other than You-Know-Who or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"

"Oh"

I hesitated

"So, you're not onomatophobic then?"

He smiled, actually smiled instead of his regular grin

"No, though is that even a really phobia?"

I stared at him

Great, he still thinks I'm a basket case that comes up with all sorts of junk

"Actually it is" I said stiffly "Just like Xanthophobia, Atelophobia, Bibliophobia and Arachibutyrophobia"

"Like _what_?!"

"It's true they are all phobias, Xanthophobia is a fear of the colour yellow or the word yellow, Atelophobia is a fear of imperfection, Bibliophobia is a fear of books and Arachibutyrophobia is a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of ones mouth"

Potter just laughed

"I think Sirius is bibliophobic, he hates books"

I giggled

What the hell? I just giggled! I giggled? Oh dear lord I have succumb to the embarrassing habit of teenage girls the world over. I just GIGGLED!!!! What's worse is that it was because of James Potter

Oh. My. Giddy. Aunt.

I've crossed over to the other side

Shoot me now

"How do you know all these phobias anyway?" Potter asked

I groaned

"I have a deranged aunt who's training to be a psychologist and she tried to '_analyse_' me and help me _'resolve'_ my phobias over the summer" I answered with a sigh

"Is a psychologist one of those mental health muggle healer people? Aren't they all a bit nutty?"

"Yeah they're the mental health wacks that have more problems than their patients"

I couldn't help but smile at the thought of my outrageous Aunt Lizzie; she was always bright and colourful, injecting life into our rigid household.

He was quite for a minute and I saw him looking at me out the corner of my eye

"It's good to see you're smiling again!"

I just smiled at him and kept walking

We made our way back to the common room, joking around the whole way

When we went in he politely said good night and made his way up the boys stairs

Talk about weird

Potter was polite, considerate and even managed to make me laugh. I actually enjoyed his company; maybe he's not so bad after all.

Oh dear.

I just reread that last couple of sentences

I definitely have issues

But maybe, just maybe, he isn't that bad

Damn it! Why does he have to be so confusing?

* * *

Thankyou to all my lovely reviewers, and I am very sorry for not updating earlier but I've had exams revision and I have had trouble getting on the thing long enough to do anything because my mother has taken it hostage while writing her CV. All right so that's a _pathetic_ excuse but I had to give it a try. So please remember to review and tell me what you think.

I'm so sorry i can't write individual replies but i have no time on the computer, my wretched mother is kicking me off yet again. and if she just read that over my shoulder then yes you are wretched.

Anyways...

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	15. Chapter 15

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Sunday 31st October – Common Room**

Today's Halloween

I love Halloween

Ever since I was a little girl it has always been tradition for my parents to go to this big fancy masquerade ball for people of their _stature_, as my mother would say. Very stuffy, very boring and of course no children allowed in the ball room.

Not that it made any difference, my brother and I managed to get in their once, but we realised that we had sooo much more fun so we left after 5 minutes. It was the principal of the thing really. Petunia didn't come with us; she's too much of a goody goody to sneak anywhere let alone the ballroom.

Every year I wore the same costume, a black sparkly dress that had strips of the material around the bottom and as the sleaves. I wore it with a pointed hat and carried a broomstick around with me. I was a witch with my china doll Annabelle, which I dragged everywhere, dressed the same.

Ironic, hey?

I remember one year a couple of boys laughed at me but being the delightfully eloquent eight year old that I was, I told them in no polite way to sod off.

Lovely child I know

But I always had heaps of fun with my brother annoying the hell out of some dignitary or another and making all the attendants laugh at our antics. We were proclaimed devil children on more than one occasion.

That stopped once I came to Hogwarts but I refused to give it up.

Consequently I inspired my friends to dress up and we now usually spend Halloween running around the halls of Hogwarts dressed up, playing hide and seek chasy. Of course this is in the dead of night once everyone else has gone to bed, so much more fun like that.

I can't wait till after the feast

But back to the reason for my writing in here

We just got back from Hogsmeade and I have to say my encounter with Star Boy has only enforced my theory that the Blacks have it in for me. By Star Boy I mean Sirius Black, one of the greater idiots of the world.

Poor world has to contend with nutcases like Voldywart and prats like the Black brothers, Reggie and Star Boy. I have great sympathy for it.

Star Boy decided to have a _little chat_ to me while I was in the Three Broomsticks much to the pleasure of Dana and Bridget. When Sirius sat down you could see the drool start to collect at the corner of their mouths. Disgusting

You could also see the death looks Bridget and I were receiving from Dana since Black sat between us.

I assumed he was there to talk to the twins so I turned to Nessa and Rhi to continue our conversation. After a couple of minutes of flirting Sirius turned to me.

"Hey Lileeeee" he addressed me, drawing out the 'e' in my name

I faced him with a tight smile my hands laced around my glass so I didn't gouge his eyes out for distorting my name in such a whiny tone

"Yes?"

Black gave one of his killer smiles, which has no effect on me at all…Okay so it made my insides feel like mush and my knees got a bit wobbly but he didn't need to know that.

What?! It's not like I can help it! I openly admit that Sirius Black is one of the dishiest lads to ever walk the earth, how can any female not be affected him?

That does not mean I have a crush on him or would ever consider dating him, he just happens to be hot and to deny that would be just straight out lying, which I am not very good at.

"What?"

His smile just got bigger

Uh oh I am not going to like what ever it is he has to say

"Lileeeee do you have a boy friend?" he said in a singsong voice

I really had stop myself from dumping my butter beer over his head by clasping them in my lap

I pursed my lip and gave him a penetrating look

"What concern is it of yours?"

He's grinning

Damn that grin!

"I was just wondering, looking out for my fellow Gryffindor, so do you?"

I tried to work out what he was up to

Nope I give up the boy is a mystery and _how in the name of all things good does he even know who I am? _

"So nice to know you care" I replied sarcastically "but no, I don't have a boyfriend, it was Reggie, your demented brother, who told everyone I have a boyfriend"

Sirius raised his eyebrows

"Demented is a good description of _dear_ Regulus, do you know who your suppose boyfriend is?"

He was surprisingly serious and looked at me intensely as if to determine if what I said was the truth.

"Does it sound like I do?"

He stared at me blankly

I sighed in frustration

"No I don't! But do think I like having the population of Hogwarts having more knowledge of my love life than I do? Huh? No I don't! And do you think I like random people" I stared at him here "coming up and asking me about it? No I don't! So you know what Star Boy? SOD. OFF."

I glared at him before turning to my glass so as to resist the temptation to carry out the scenes playing in my head.

By George, Black would look damn good drawn and quartered!

He slung his arm around my shoulder

Ick

I am going to have to here about this all night, about how lucky I am the great Sirius Black talked to me and that he _touched me_. Oooh that's just the highlight of my day! Plus we shall all be subjected to the Black-and-Potter-are-so-hot rant

Ugh! Someone cut off my ears now

"Awww, I'm hurt you think of me as a stranger Lils, but I'm just showing my concern, though I do like being know as Star Boy" I could here the fraudulent hurt dripping from his every word

I rolled my eyes and removed his arm from me using only my thumb and one finger

"As I said thanks for caring but why exactly do you care, how do you even _know_ who I am?"

He gave me a roguish wink

"You could say I have some invested interest in you"

I made a face

"I am going to totally disregard just how disgusting that statement was and move on. But you know what between you and you're bloody brother I'm destined to be committed to St Mungo's by Christmas"

I placed my arms on the table and buried my head in them.

Stupid sodding Star Boy

My darling friends decided to finally intervene

What do you know it's Nessa who speaks first

"You know Sirius we think we might just know who Lily's mystery boyfriend might be" you could hear the psychotic grin in her taunting voice "And why you would have invested interest in her love life"

I felt Black stiffen next to me

Scared as a widdle bunny, serves him right, the bloody tosser

Hey, back up there, what did she say? _They have an idea of who it is? _

My head shot up

"Who?"

Everyone's head swivelled onto me looking surprised, they had all previously been looking at Black, smirking their little faces off.

No one answered me

"Who?"

I repeated they were all still in a state of shock

Then I got angry

"Who? Who do you think is my supposed boyfriend?" my voice an octave

Still with the wide eyes

"Answer me! Nessa, tell me, who do think it is?"

Vanessa lowered her eyes

"Well…er… were not sure…we… um we could be wrong and …er…. we don't want to jump to conclusions… so…er"

She kept mumbling like this and I was ready to blow a gasket

"Vanessa answer me, properly please with a name"

She avoided my eyes still and fiddled with her napkin

"I'm sorry Lily but I can't tell you"

That gasket blew a mile high

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T TELL ME?"

I was met with silence

"ANSWER ME DAMN IT!"

They all looked at the floor with guilty expressions on their face, black included

"WHAT NONE OF YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO TELL ME? ARE YOU GRYFFINDORS OR WHAT?"

Now that just pissed me off further when didn't dare face me but instead kept their eyes locked on the table

They say red heads have a temper that matches their hair colour, I don't usually let my temper of its leash but when I do the famous red head temper is given a whole new status.

"YOU LOT DISGUST ME! YOU ALL KNOW WHO THIS SUPPOSED '_BOYFRIEND_' OF MINE IS, DON'T YOU? DO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY TO SEE ME AGONIZE OVER THIS?"

None of them would look me in the eye

"DO YOU?" I thundered slamming my hand on the table

"DO YOU ENJOY WATCHING ME BECOME MORE AND MORE MISERABLE AS PEOPLE CONTINUE TO HARASS ME? AS I HAVE MY HEART CRUSHED BECAUSE THE ONE GUY I LIKE WON'T COME NEAR ME ANYMORE? DO YOU ALL FIND THAT EXCEEDINGLY ENJOYABLE, HUH?

Oh great, now I'm crying and my voice is filled with emotion

That made them all look up with surprise

"ARE YOU THAT SADISTIC? OR DID YOU JUST FORGET THAT I'M A _REAL PERSON_ WITH _REAL FEELINGS_? _'INANE LILY WITH HER HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, OBLIVIOUS TO EVERYTHING'_ WELL GUESS WHAT I DO TAKE IN WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND ME!"

Dana finally spoke "Lily we're sorry…"

"NO DANA, SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT!"

My voice finally broke as the tears rolled down my face

"You know what? Forget it. I'm going for a walk I'll meet you back at the castle" I croaked before running out the door

As I made my exit I saw them all staring at me

Mind you half the pub was staring at me

I saw the gob smacked faces of the other Marauders, who were sitting at a table near my escape route.

Sod 'em

Sod the whole sodding lot of them

Once out of the Three Broomsticks I did what any normal, stressed, emotionally unstable teenage girl does

I went straight to Honeydukes and bought the biggest bar of chocolate I could find before dragging myself off to the shrieking shack. I crawled in there through a hole in the boarded up windows round the back.

I know people say it's haunted but I seriously doubt it. I figured out long ago that a werewolf probably uses it during the full moons. The furniture s all ripped and torn as though someone has been trying to express their pain. The poor person whoever they are must have a heinous time every month.

But the full moon isn't for another week and half

I barricaded myself in the master bedroom upstairs, wrapped myself in the doonas and transfigured some tissues before balling my eyes out and munching my chocolate. By the time I finished my chocolate and my crying it was time to head back to school.

Once I entered the common room my friends were waiting for me. They ran up to me and engulfed me a massive group hug, saying sorry about a million times.

I just smiled and asked them who was going it first for our annual game of hide and seek chasy. They all smiled back and started arguing over whether it was Nessa's turn or Cam's

I realised, whilst I was being over emotionally enthusiastic, that they were probably just protecting the boy's feelings (Pft! HIS feelings!), whoever he _is_, and that it was my own fault that no one knew about my feelings because I never tell anyone.

Right now they want to drag me off to the feast so I had better go

* * *

**Monday 1st November – History of Magic **

Pinch and a punch for the first of the month!

Last night was so much fun!

The seven of us ran around like mad hatters trying to stifle our screams so Filch wouldn't come swooping down on us.

Needless to say it was futile attempt

But we had so much fun we, Dana and I, coerced Cam into going it first

We then split into pairs

Predicably the twins wandered off together and Nessa and Tri ran of together. Rhi and I just looked at each other and started giggling. We entertained the idea of locking them in a broom closet together but lost enthusiasm once we remembered both were on the quidditch team.

They're fit and can run fast…

Meaning they could catch us easy

We use only the major corridors from the Gryffindor common room to the Great Hall and including the Entrance Hall. This makes it all the more exciting because so many people use these floors. Every time a teacher, ghost, student or animal goes past we have to hide. It adds an element of danger

It's good being with Rhi because she is awfully good at this sneaking thing, plus she knows the best suits of armour to hide behind. Also over the years we have worked out a strategy of winning so we always go together.

For the first couple of hours after the feast we ran around like twats, we had all had a decent amount of sweets to get us on a sugar high and a few butter beers we brought back from Hogsmeade.

At about 2 o'clock we were all packed into the 1st floor main corridor because Dana had managed to round us all up. Rhi and I were concealed behind a tapestry while Cam, Tri, Nessa and Bridget were further down. Dana was at the father end of the corridor so Rhi and I were content peeking out as she came closer to Cam and Bridget

However Dana never did get to spring them

"What are you lot doing out this late?" came an stern voice from our end of the corridor

We all froze

I'm pretty sure Dumbledore knows about our annual Halloween escapades but it'd be a little difficult to explain to any other teacher.

"Hey Evans, Grey you can breath again you know, we don't bite?"

Rhi and I both just stared at each other refusing to move

We saw the light of a wand come on

I peeked up the corridor Dana had obviously blended into the wall or joined Bridget and Cam

"Well if you won't come out then we may as well talk to you anyway, what are seven grown 16 year olds doing playing hide and seek in the dead of night?" asked an amused voice

Wait, I recognise those voices…

Those sodding Marauders!

Rhi obviously recognised them too because we let out a breath simultaneously

But then my red head temper go the better of me

What I'd had an emotional day! I was running solely on my emotions.

I ripped back the tapestry and glared at the Marauders as the grinned in the wand light, Potter and Black looked especially happy while Remus and Peter just smile and waved.

"What do think you're doing? Filch will hear you and then he'll come after all eleven of us! And what does it matter to you what we're doing? I could ask you exactly the same thing" I hissed at them

Sirius grinned a bit wider

"But Lilikins we only care for you're safety! We have to make sure you little 6th years don't get into any trouble, now don't we?"

Oh please, safety my arse, that's why they have numerous cakes bulging from their pockets!

"Please Black, let's not start with the caring again as it's obvious you have other interests, namely the sticky bun protruding from you pocket"

I tried to keep my voice down but that was blown when Black started to laugh obnoxiously

"Caught me again Lilikins! I'll have to remember not o try and fool you, you're almost as good as Remmy here"

He's definitely had too much sugar

I was just about to inform him of that when Filch came tearing into the middle of the corridor effectively cutting Rhi and I off from our friends…

* * *

Hi everyone! I actually had this chapter completed a couple of days ago but when I went to put it up the 48hr lock down had already come into place and then everythiing was disabled. Bugger! Anyway so for such a long wait last time, that's why this one is up so quickly. Oh well it's up now so please review!

**Replies to reviews from Chapter 13:**

**Shortiegal0527:** thank you very much for the suggestions they come in handy and are really helpful. Thanks for the review!

**Cpegasus:** Great that's what I try to do, make people see the funny side of things. My friends and I sometimes just burst out laughing at the stupidity of our melodramatic antics. But really that's what life's all about, you have to laugh at yourself! Thanks for the review!

**Billy:** I feel honoured that you wrote your longest review just for me! Talk about making someone's day. I'm trying to tie everything together at the moment but hopefully there will be more Lily and James encounters. I'll try to work James' feelings in there somewhere. Cool quote! Could I use it maybe? You would be recognised in the authors note of course! Thanks for the review!

p.s. Another weird little fact is the electric chair was invented by a dentist! Sort of explains a lot about that profession

**mello80:** thankyou very much for the compliments but don't worry I've already written the next chapter and two thirds through the one after! Thanks for the review!

**Lightening Rain:** My newest cookie supplier! I hope that your cravings for blow out's is satisfied, for now at least but more is coming. Can I just say how much I love reading your reviews? They're so entertaining! I'm a chocolate freak too and I'm guilty of a vanilla coke addiction. Thanks for the review!

**Nimue88:** did you say chocolate? Yummy! Oh yes that is an excellent bribe. I love sponge cake. I'm glad I've kept your interest even though my mutated musings have screwed round with the cannon. But what else can you expect when my imagination is let loose from it's leash? I have exactly the same ethics, my darling friends however don't se things that way. They've done that to me before, they'll know something vitally important and won't tell me! TWATS!!! But any way glad you liked it and thanks for the review!

**Anonymouse:** That's terrific that you like Lily's portrayal, it gives my confidence a boost, not that it needs it! My supposed creativity is nothing special, just an overactive imagination running wild. You haven't heard of jelly tots?!?!?! You poor, deprived child. They're awesome! Little gummy things coated in sugar. Want a sugar high? Eat a packet of them. Thanks for the review!!!

**Katie:** thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you like it.

**Ma9adig: **I tried a different approach with Lily because no one is perfect. Keep guessing, you'll work it all out before Lily, that's half the fun! Thanks for the review!

**Wounded-angel:** I'm glad you find Lily's side interesting, she usually gets marginalised in these fanfics with a mary sue construction. Sorry, bloody English literature terminology coning through. Too much study! Thanks for the review!

**From Chapter 14:**

**Shortiegal0527:** thankyou for the compliments and don't worry the next chapter is already written! Thanks for the review!

**Mello80:** Hey! Thanks for the enthusiasm and the review!

**Annmarie: **Sorry about the wait but as I said my mother took hostage of the computer. Needless to say that did not please me. Don't worry the next chapter is already written! Thanks for the review!

**Cpegasus:** well I do try to keep it up to a certain standard, thanks for the review!

**Arianna Leeiav:** (I'm really sorry if that isn't spelt right) well, well, well, aren't we a clever cookie then? Though seriously what did you do? Go through my notebook? Raid my desk? Read my mind? To smart for your own good! Grins and shakes head to damn smart I tell you! Oh well enjoy the confusion of Lily's distorted mind thanks for the review!

**SlippersRfuzzy:** hey Cait, thanks for the review! I'll send the next chapter to you soon for betaering!

**Exclamation freak:** I'm glad you like it so much and yeps I have the next couple of chapters all lined up! Thanks for the reviews! (As I'm sure you've noticed I'm a bit of an exclamation freak myself!)

**Cherry Cheesecake: **Thankyou very much for your kind words. That's why I wrote this fic because I was sick of Lily being Ms Perfect with not one thing wrong with, it's like she's a freaking god or something! Anyway thankyou very much for the review!

Please remeber to

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	16. Chapter 16

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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_I tried to keep my voice down but that was blown when Black started to laugh obnoxiously_

"_Caught me again Lilikins! I'll have to remember not to try and fool you, you're almost as good as Remmy here"_

_He's definitely had too much sugar_

_I was just about to inform him of that when Filch came tearing into the middle of the corridor effectively cutting Rhi and I off from our friends…_

Everyone froze for a second while filch tried to determine who the culprits were

Cam, Tri, Dana, Bridget and Nessa were still hidden so they were safe but Filch had seen the Marauders, Rhi and myself.

I grabbed Rhi's hand and took off for the Entrance Hall with the Marauders right behind us. Once down the steps the Marauders tried to pull us towards the dungeons.

Rhi and I shook our heads and wriggled out of their grasp

No way in hell were we going down there! Who knows what potion ingredients come to life at night and skulk around those creepy dungeons!

Rhi and I ran over and pushed opened the doors before running out on to the grounds. The Marauders hesitated before following us, I think the felt they should protect us or some other idiotic male instinct.

We've done this numerous times before and never been hurt or caught, we didn't need the Marauders protection, but we humoured them all the same.

Rhi and I ran all the way down to the lake before we collapse with laughter under the beech tree. When the Marauders came up the looked at us as though we were insane which just made us laugh harder.

Well come on, running helter skelter away from an enraged filch is awfully funny, especially since the Marauders are coming after us to 'protect us'

After a while we settled down but then caught each other's eyes and that set us off all over again.

"Are you quite finished?" Potter asked annoyed

We quietened down to just giggles

I looked up at Potter smiling sweetly

"Sorry"

I tried, I really did but the look on his face was hilarious and when I looked at Rhi she was trying to keep a straight face as well. The look on both our faces set each other off laughing yet again so that we ended up lying on our backs laughing into the night.

After a while we calmed down

However I got ideas into my little head, now seems like a perfect time for pay back plus I was hungry.

The Marauders were sitting behind where I was lying down so I had to tilt my head back to see them

"Hey Siriiiiii" I cooed in a sickly sweet voice

He surveyed me warily

"Yes?"

I broadened my smile

"Can I have a cup cake?"

He looked relieved for a second

"Sorry I don't have any cup cakes, I like the sticky buns"

I pouted

"Fine be that way Star Boy"

He chuckled

I squinted at the rest of them trying to determine which one was a cup cake eater

Remus raised an eyebrow at my squinting

"What are you doing?" he inquired

I looked at him innocently

"Trying to figure out which one of you blokes eats cupcakes so I can scab one" I answered matte- of-factly

They all laughed and Rhi just smiled, completely used to my random cravings

Potter grinned

"That would be me, the cupcake eater"

My eyes lit up as I turned to him

"Really? Could I please have one? Pretty, pretty please?"

Rhi laughed

"I wouldn't have said that if I was you Potter! Now you don't have any chance"

I smiled at Rhi

She knows me too well, once I discover a cupcake or cookie you have a snowball's chance in hell of keeping it off me

I turned back to Potter with big, round eyes

It's called the Bambi, taught to me by Will

"So can I? Please?"

Potter regained his smirk

"What's in it for me?"

I thought about if for a second

I didn't like the way he said that or the glint of mischief in his eye, it actually sounded pretty seedy so I think I shall stick with the innocent and clean meaning of that question

"I would offer to do your homework for you but you're a 7th year and Head Boy so I'm pretty sure you can do a better job yourself. I would also offer you money but you seem to have enough"

I paused for a second

"I could get you two cupcakes tomorrow"

Potter shook his head and pouted

"But I want some cup cake now"

Again that sounded rather dirty but for my own sake I think I shall just ignore those sexual under tones

Geez what else can I use as trade? What about the humanitarian approach?

"What about giving it to me solely out of the goodness of your heart?" I asked hopefully

Potter just shook his head

"I'll give you half"

I sighed in defeat

"Oh well it's better than nothing"

I sat up and turned around and Potter placed half the cupcake in my hand

It took me a second to register exactly what was in my hand

"Oi"

He had given me the bottom half of the cupcake that is surrounded by paper and has no frosting or decorations

"Potter what do think you're playing at? I didn't even get any frosting!" I cried indignantly

The Marauders laughed

"You never said which half, but if you don't want it I'll take it back"

With that he snatched it back

I glared at him as they laughed again

Rhi just shook her head despairingly, knowing what would happen next, she muttered "Not even a snowball's chance in hell"

Well I was understandably upset at having my half of the cupcake taken off me, it may not have any frosting or chocolate chips but it was still a damn good cupcake!

I lunged at Potter, knocking him onto his back with my force and grabbed his half of the cupcake. I gracefully got up and brushed myself off before sitting back down next to Rhi to devour my spoils.

Potter was in shock still on the ground while the other Marauders roared with laughter, he got up blinking his mouth wide open

I smiled innocently at him

Black looked at me still chuckling

"My, aren't we a feisty one?"

Rhi grinned at this

"That's nothing, Potter got off lightly, usually if you try to deprive Lily of a cupcake or cookies you're met with a curse that takes at least a week to wear off and I speak from experience on this" Rhi said with a twinkle in her eye

"One of you wouldn't happen to have a custard tart would you? I'm starving" She asked

Remus coughed up a tart while Potter was still dumbfounded

"I think that's the first time I've been assaulted by a girl!"

I rolled my eyes

"Drama Queen"

Potter locked his eyes on me

"Hey! That's my Cupcake! Give it back!"

I looked at the half eaten cupcake

"You sure you want this back? I mean I've eaten almost half, plus it's not your cupcake anymore, you never said which half was yours"

Potter humphed and glared at me

I stuck my tongue out at him

Sirius chuckled

"She's got you there Prongs"

I felt sorry for him so I broke off the last third and gave it back to him before lying back and looking at the stars, off in my own little world

The marauders continued to talk for a while and they must of asked about my stargazing because I heard Rhi laugh

"Oh she does that all the time, Lily's one of the very few people who use the astronomy tower for its intended purpose"

I was actually listening to their conversation I just couldn't be bothered involving my self

After a while we headed back to the tower and managed to arrive safely with out to many incidents.

Needless to say I am rather tired today with my late night wanderings

* * *

**Library **

I knew I was right about that Remus Lupin

He's sneaky, cunning, conniving, devious, shrewd and just too damn endearing!

Why, you ask, am I listing the unfavourable characteristics of Remus Lupin? Because he was being an intelligent prat during the prefects meeting.

'Intelligent prat' _sounds like_ an oxymoron _but isn't really _if the individual (in this case Remus) is using his intelligence to assist his prattishness, which I must say he did excellently.

We were set into groups discussing ideas for the ball that Mary from Hufflepuff had suggested at that fateful first prefect meeting of the year. I was with Remus and a couple of Hufflepuffs. Not that we could actually get much out of them, they were babbling about the first quidditch match on Saturday and about their quidditch team.

I have no idea why they're so excited seeing as it's Gryffindor and Slytherin who play first. When I pointed this out I was told that it gave insight for the other teams and apparently Hufflepuff has a new captain who will 'lead the Badgers to victory!' Pft! As if they stand a chance! Not that I said that to them… I do value my life.

So basically I was working with Remus trying to brainstorm for the ball. What there is to brainstorm about I don't know, I mean you set a date, pick a theme and decide on a form of entertainment and bada bing, bada boom! You have a dance! Not exactly rocket science….

Well Potter and Amy are working together and Amy doesn't seem to trust him so she's getting the prefects to help. Just great, we are now all embroiled in the disagreements of the Head Boy and Girl, never a good thing.

So there we are diligently working away, okay so I was doodling but that's beside the point, when out of nowhere Remus strikes up conversation. Weird considering we hardly ever talk during prefect meetings, except when I tell him Potter's an arse and he apologises on his friends behalf, and we never speak outside these prefect gatherings.

"So Lily, that was an interesting show you put on yesterday"

I quickly looked up and tried to determine what the devil he was talking about

"Really? Which 'show' are you referring to?"

He smirked at this

"Well for starters the rather… interesting display in the Three Broomsticks, I've never seen you become quite so… emotional, even when threatening to blast Regulus Black to smithereens"

I looked back down at my parchment to avoid meeting his eyes

"Star Boy just touched on a sore spot is all" I answered loftily

I continued to doodle

"Really I thought it was a combination of factors"

I didn't look at him still

"What intrigued me the most was the last part about a crush not talking to you"

I looked at him sharply and felt the blood rush to my face

"I believe that is none of your business Mr Lupin" I said while glaring at him

He's smirking again

"Well it may not be any of my business but I am intrigued by it, that and the fact that you have no idea of who your mystery boyfriend is"

I looked him straight in the eye and was met with a disturbing twinkle

"Alright, what do you what Lupin?"

Remus is a complicated person, which makes his underlying motives hard to determine.

"Nothing! Just wanted to cure my curiosity is all, so who is this mystery boy?"

I was very tempted to look over at Daniel at that moment but I controlled myself and kept looking Lupin straight in the eye.

"That is none of your business, and why would I tell you any way, when even my friends don't know?"

I glared at him, waiting for an answer, which I didn't receive. I went back to my doodling scowling like there was no tomorrow.

"Well I thought you might just like an outsiders opinion as to whether all hope is lost"

Ugh! Please as if he cares and I know for a fact that all hope is indeed lost

"For your information I happen to be well aware that all hope is lost and I don't need an 'outsiders opinion' to back me up"

So I snapped but wouldn't you if you had people continually asking about your private love life?

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes while Remus seemed to be scrutinising me and analysing my response

"I haven't seen you and Daniel talking together lately" He said off handily, but I knew he was well aware of what he was saying

Okay, he just hit the nerve dead on

I quickly looked up at him cocked my head to one side and raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue

"It just seems weird is all, I mean you used to spend most of the prefect meetings talking to him and you were good friends out side of these gatherings as well, what happened?"

I went back t my doodling

"I don't know what you mean, we're still friends and I don't think anything has changed"

_Except that I have my heart broken into a thousand tiny pieces with no one there to help me glue it back together_

But Remus is right we haven't spoken in so long and Daniel avoids me at all costs, that doesn't exactly give me much to work with on the whole rebuilding of friendship

At this point I was trying very hard not to break down crying in front all the prefects and the Heads, but most of all I didn't want to let Remus see what a delicate subject this was

Too late

Remus put a comforting hand on my shoulder

"You know Lily, love can cause people to do crazy things, even hurt the objects of their affections"

I looked at him confused but he just smiled and went back to his brainstorm. I was about to ask what he meant when Potter called our attention.

"Okay everyone, can I please have your brainstorms up here and we will further discuss the ball at a special prefect meeting on Thursday"

I was about to objet because that's when I tutor Charlie and he was having real trouble with the latest charm

"No objections please, we have already arranged the meeting and quidditch practice, tutoring and all other activities are to be postponed in favour of the meeting, is that understood?"

Everyone nodded except a few Slytherins, who looked as though they were about to rebel but quickly nodded their heads after a glare from Potter

Well that was a productive prefects meeting! Surprisingly Remus and I managed to get a few ideas down. But most of all Remus is now fully aware of my situation with Daniel and the sensitivity of the issue, plus he confused the hell out of me with that 'crazy love' thing

Can you now understand about how pratishness and brains are a bad combination? Yes if you happen to have a rather delicate issue never allow a wanker with an IQ over 80 interrogate you about it, they're too bloody smart

Wait a sec someone just sat down next to me…

It's alright it's just Charlie

He's asking if I'm all right because I look as if I'm about to break down or start blubbing at any rate. I try to convince him that everything's just fine but he insists there's something I'm not telling him

Talk about opening a can of worms…

What am I supposed to do? Poor out my heart and soul to some unfortunate fourth year? I don't know how he would handle it; in fact I'm pretty sure he has no idea what he's getting himself into by asking that question

Oh. My. Giddy. Aunt. Francis

I'm an emotional wreck

It's like a train derailing and pulling all its carriages off the rails with it wreckage only on an emotional level

I mean I'm considering talking out my problems with my fourteen year old tutoring student and I'm close to tears, again! I've gone mentally insane!

I think I need to be taken to St Mungo's for an immediate head examination

Or even better I can get my nutty Aunt Lizzie to analyse me…

* * *

Thankyou to Cait my excellent beta and to all those that review and to those that have me on author alert, I know your reading it! Any way a big THANKYOU to all of you

**Mello80:** Bloody server! I tried too update a couple of times the other day and it tried to eat me! Needless to say I gave up pretty soon after, but oh well. I hoped you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for the review!

**Occupied Neptune:** Thanks for the compliments, I've never read those books before but I'll look out for them if you think they're any good. I try to make Lily easy to relate to, cause everyone has a bit of a melodramatic, ditzy side to them that they can recognise in Lily. I really should have good diction and language because I do English Literature at school – never, ever do that it is evil with way to much work and I'm constantly nagged by my teacher for not using enough 'Literary Devices' Shakes head But thanks for the review!

**Vanessa-Black and Zabini:** Thankyou, I'm a firm believer that everyone has their own little quirks and perfect Lily just doesn't cut it! So I got fed up and wrote my own story! Ok, so I was a tad drastic in my protest about perfect Lily but oh well, if I wasn't a dramatic person I wouldn't have written this story! But anyway thanks for the review!

**Jensnuffles:** Thank you, I'm glad you find my story enjoyable but really Bridget Jones? I wouldn't goo that far. Days I update? My god, I'm awful at up dates, I'm all over the place! Maybe check every 5-6 days generally. I promise to make my updates more regular thanks!

**Billy: **Hey no problemo, my story is solely for the enjoyment of the readers, sure I love reviews (I would even say I'm a bit of a review whore) but I know people read my story and I basically write because I'm bored as hell! So don't worry it's not your responsibility to flatter and enlarge my ego, leave that to me I do too good a job on my own, and what else would I do if I didn't write? As for the little quotes and facts, that was a good one. I'm full of completely useless information like – did you know that chocolate is actually a drug? Weird hey? It affects your brain chemistry to make you happy so it is technically a drug (also explains a lot about how chocolate sends me bouncing off the walls with cheeriness) So don't worry your pretty little head about not reviewing, I know you read it ;) Thanks for the review!

P.S. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" – Mahatma Gandhi, it's the quote I live by!

**Nimue88: **Don't you just hate? You try to be a good friend and cheer them up with a pick me and smack! They throw it back in your face with a 'No it's full of fat!' Makes me want to slap them but I just eat it in front of them instead, I'm such a spiteful person I know. Drama is the main element of my fic but I try to keep it humorous drama. With verbal diarrhoea (dear lord, it took me about seven tries to spell 'diarrhoea' right) it's definitely better out than in! Double chocolate cake with whipped cream and icing! eyes roll into the back of head and saliva collects in mouth yup that in one fine incentive to up date. Thanks for the review!

**SlippersRfuzzy:** Cait your such a sweetie, you beta ever chapter but you still review! My goodness, you just found your way onto my Christmas present list! How I would get it to you is a different matter… but it's the thought that counts! By the way when will you be updating your own stories? You haven't in ages, I know because I checked. Oh well thanks for the review!

Please remember to ...

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	17. Eavesdropping & Outbursts

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**Thursday 4th November – Common Room**

Great

Just. Bloody. Great.

I have to go to that sodding ball!

I hate balls, I mean really hate them, I don't like getting dressed up in frills, lace and ribbon and I certainly don't like having to dance around with some fake smile plastered on my face

This is just what Potter and Amy are forcing upon me

At the prefects meeting we just had the following was decided:

**Theme:** Winter Wonderland – _How original_

**Dress:** Formal Muggle Clothing – _Big surprise there_

**Entertainment:** Madge – _Some popular wizarding band that play classical instruments in a new age way_ shakes head

**Date:** Saturday 18th December, the Hogwarts Express will leave on Sunday so that student can go home to see their families for the holidays – _Oh joy, we have a ball and even then I can't escape my family_

**Age Limit:** 4th year and up – _wouldn't want the munchkins getting up to no good now would we, leave that to the older brats_

**Curfew: **Till midnight – _Witching hour_

And the clincher…

**Partners:** Prefects must go together with their year and house counter part and the Head students must go together also, all will open the ball – _Great I'm going with Daniel, pity that the boy can hardly stand being in the same room as me let alone having to dance with me_

Marvellous

Bloody marvellous

I am forced to go to a ball, then I am forced to dress up and then I am forced to open the bloody thing with Daniel

Can I say I'm sick?

I could make myself sick! I know quite a few potions that will have me in the infirmary for two days enabling me to bypass the Ball completely and still allow me to go home!

If only Amy would fall for it, and my friends for that matter. They all know of my fondness for these formal gatherings and my exploits of trying to escape from them.

Damn it!

What am I going to do? I have no way of getting out of it and even if I did Daniel would be left looking like an idiot, I couldn't do that to him.

I know he's ignoring me and avoiding me like the plague but I can't bring myself to embarrass him like that but I think it would be best just to forget my feelings for Daniel and move on

Sigh

On a completely different subject that little piece of advice Remus gave me has been nagging away at me for what seems an eternity

I mean seriously what does _'love can cause people to do crazy things, even hurt the objects of their affections'_ have to do with any thing? I mean I haven't hurt anyone I love, at least not to my knowledge. Though he could be talking about the _'hurt'_ being inflicted upon me but who would be doing that?

That would mean that some one actually likes me! But that's not possible, at least I don't think that it is, I mean who would like me?'

The only person who has wounded me lately directly is Daniel but he didn't do this out of love, he thinks of me only as a sister so I don't think so, that only leaves me with…

No one

I can't think of any one other than Daniel who has caused me any emotional pain lately, maybe Remus is just of his rocker, I think he is, the sensible Marauder has finally lost his marbles

But speaking of Remus, I heard him having a hushed debate with someone, I'm still trying to figure out who, in the library after Charlie left on Monday. I was researching my Herbology project about magical plats and their medical uses and properties, I have to choose one to raise and care for. That'll be fun…

Any way it was quite 'intriguing' as Remus would say

So I was just standing in the Herbology isles searching through those musty old books that no one has looked at in centauries and all of I sudden I heard voices arguing over something, which was a bit hard to determine

"…it isn't fair to her, you're toying with her emotions…"

"Remus settle down, I'm not 'toying' with her feelings at all, I'm just trying to get her attention"

"Prongs, making a girl miserable isn't about to get you into her good books"

"I didn't make her miserable! How did I make her miserable?"

There was a silent pause and I could tell Remus was glaring at whoever he was talking to

"I know all about Padfoot's little intimidation tactics"

I heard the other guy curse under his breath

"How did you find out?"

"I saw Padfoot right after his interrogation"

"Oh"

Remus was doing the piercing look thing again

"What did you think you were doing? The poor boy won't go anywhere near her and she doesn't understand it"

Remus' voice rose a couple of octaves; I know the second guy was cowering because even I winced

"I didn't want him petrified! I just wanted to scare away competition"

Remus juts got angrier at this and stepped up to full fledged venom

"Scare away competition Prongs? You certainly did that! But did you ever stop to think that maybe they liked each other? That kid had been trying to work up the courage to ask her out for two years! I know because he would ask me for advice! And please tell me you don't miss the glances she gives him? They were slowly getting together!"

And I thought my out bursts were bad…

"Oops?"

"No Prongs, 'Oops' isn't good enough. They liked each other and then you come along and decide that 'no, you want the girl', killing whatever chance they had at romance"

Silence

Remus sighed as though resigned to the fact that whatever they were arguing about was not going to go his way

"You had better treat her right, if you eventually do get her, after all the trouble you put her through"

"I will Moony, I swear, but could you maybe help? Please your better at this whole romance thing than Padfoot and Wormtail"

Remus seemed to be considering this proposition before agreeing

"Okay but you have to promise me that this is for real, not just another one of your flings"

"It isn't I swear, I really like her, she's different from every other girl I've known"

Remus sighed again

"Fine then we…"

That was all I heard because Sophie Baxter came up and started chatting to me.

Apparently her and Potter had been over by the next evening after she talked to me, apparently they broke it off because Potter said he fell for some one else and that it wasn't fair on Sophie if they kept going out. What a load of bull! Potter just got bored like he always does.

However if just made Sophie become even _more_ smitten with him

When I told Sophie my opinion of the situation she scolded me immediately telling me how _romantic_ he was, how he's '_changed'_. Pft! Potter changed? I don't think so. Of course my stifled giggles earned me a playful slap on the arm and a look.

"You know James hasn't been out with anyone this year, apparently he's been trying to get the attention of some one in particular" She added as though hinting to something and widening her eyes for emphasis

I raised my eyebrows

Wow, two months without a girlfriend! How does Potter control himself?

"Oh really, well I hope she knows what she's getting herself into"

Sophie hitched a knowing smile on her face

"Oh I think she knows"

She looked at me meaningfully before wandering off in the Transfiguration direction

Definitely a little loopy that one, I don't know what was with all the hinting but I think Sophie may have had just one too many cheering charms, she's much too chirpy.

But I wonder what all that was about with Remus? I know I've heard that name, Prongs, before I just can't place it. And I wonder who it is they're talking about? I mean she has two boys fighting over her affections and they seem pretty competitive about the whole thing.

Lucky thing

Oh well I suppose I shouldn't stick my nose into other peoples affairs and just worry about my own…

And I still say Sophie is cuckoo

* * *

**Sunday 7th November – Breakfast**

Well that was a …err… interesting …quidditch match

Can you say dirty?

My god the Slytherins were awful, I have never witnessed such… revolting tactics before. I think it's because it's Potter's last year and they are determined to end his four year winning streak. They're rather bitter about the whole thing actually.

But they still suck even when they play dirty!

Hopeless cases

Nessa dragged us all out of bed at 6:30 am to go to breakfast because she was nervous and wanted a bit of moral support. Of course she would never admit this, instead she says that if we didn't get up then there was no guarantee we would make it to the game.

I know better though, Nessa still gets nervous after being on the team for three years and likes to have us with her for support.

That doesn't mean I was happy about getting up that early on a Saturday, the twins weren't happy campers either but we all realised Nessa needs us so we get up with minimal amount of grumbling. Quidditch Saturdays are the only weekends that the twins surface before ten, period.

See we are good friends… even if we complain about it later

We all got dressed and put on our Gryffindor coloured hats, scarves, rosettes and ambled down to breakfast. I draw the line at a scarf, banner and rosette; Rhi is like me only she adds a hat to her collection. But the twins get decked out, painting their nails and putting red highlights in their blonde hair the night before.

Fanatics those two.

Breakfast consists of the Quidditch team, Rhi, Bridget, Dana, Cam and myself

The team have got used to us sitting with them, the first couple of times when Tristan and Nessa just got on the team they gave us weird looks but now their used to it. Bridget and Dana of course always fight over who gets to sit closest to Black and Potter. Meanwhile Rhi and I keep our distance, Cam tried to flirt with the new beater Melanie Higgins.

We saw her at tryouts and she was definitely the best beater out of the wannabes and she may not look it but damn, that girl can hit a bludger to Pluto and back!

I usually talk to Mikey, the fourth year seeker, he's the youngest on the team but he's pretty funny, quite sweet actually. His name is Michael but I call him Mikey and he calls me Lilly Billy, we have a unique companionship of sorts. The rest of the team call him Michael or Mike.

Rhi and Daniel kept Nessa and Tri apart by sitting in between them, they snip away at each other all the way through breakfast. It's their personal way of relieving stress; snap each other's heads off while picking on each others playing technique and what not.

Mikey and I get along well, he makes all these stupid jokes that you can't help but laugh at, he's adorable. The rest of the team picks him on regularly for his inexperience but he's a bloody good seeker all the same and they all know that.

Remus and Peter came down shortly afterwards and sat near me and Mikey while Potter encouraged everyone to eat something. Those two aren't too bad but I am rather wary of Remus now, he knows too much about me for me to be entirely comfortable around him. But Peter and Mikey are just plain hilarious when they get together, all the hare brained schemes they come up with, they always manage to make me laugh.

They had just devised an amusing plan involving the Slytherin quidditch team, fluffy pink bunny costumes and the Hogwarts school song when Potter asked for something up our end of the table. Remus and I were in fits of hysterical laughter and Peter and Mikey were trying to find a way to execute their prank.

Needless to say Potter didn't take kindly to being over looked in this manner

I know you're probably thinking I should have learned my lesson by now not to ignore James Potter but I couldn't exactly breath at that moment so I think I should be excused

"Evans! Pass the bacon already!"

My head snapped up and I looked at him puzzled for a second before realizing what he wanted, Mikey passed me the bacon

"Here you go Lilly Billy, before the ogre eats you"

This set me off giggling again while Potter glared at Mikey for calling him an ogre

"Watch it Mike, you don't want to go calling your captain names or you just might find yourself in the stands"

Mikey just grinned

"Naw, you wouldn't ground me Jamsie, I'm the best seeker you got"

Completely true of course but Potter didn't seem to like being reminded of that fact and was steadily going red, not a good sign, I think it's all the pressure from being captain that gets to him on match days

"Tsk, tsk, Mikey, we wouldn't want you to get an ego problem now would we and your supposed to respect your captain you little prat" I scolded jokingly

Michael pouted at me

"Mikey?" Potter asked, raising an eyebrow in question

I shrugged and went back to my breakfast with Peter and Mikey re-discussing their plans for the opponents with renewed enthusiasm.

He's not the only one who can get away with being aloof and brushing people off

The game was…well it was… ugh, I can't even explain it, it was that bad.

The Slytherin quidditch team is all boys and their captain is particularly nasty towards our team because since he's been quidditch captain he's never won the Quidditch Cup due to Potter and his fine assembly of team mates.

I think that through out the game about 20 fouls were committed by the Slytherin team, yes that's how bad they got. They really are sore losers. I think half the time I spent yelling insults at the Slytherin team and the other half digging scar marks into my face from worrying about the grievous bodily harm being done to our team.

I almost lost my breakfast when a bludger caught Daniel right in the chest. The quaffle was up the Slytherin end with our chasers forming an excellent Hawkshead attacking formation. Daniel had no reason to be on look out but the Beaters employed a Dopplebeater Defence, both hitting the bludger at once towards Daniel, it hit him straight to the sternum and he fell from his broom.

Three quarters of the crowd lost there heads and the insults flew thick as mud towards the Slytherin team. Madame Korkoff did her nut in, she blew her whistle and screamed at the Beaters before awarding Gryffindor a penalty shot. Nessa scored of course

That was just the beginning

That was the dirtiest game I have ever seen played. There was blagging, blatching, blurting, bumphing, cobbing, flacking, snitchnipping, stooging and many more. I couldn't believe it. The Slytherin beaters were ruthless, they even attacked Nessa with their club! They picked on Nessa and Melanie constantly because their girls, Slytherins think quidditch is a man's game.

Obviously Korkoff was a bit hoarse by the end of the game

Though it was interesting to see Tristan's reaction when Nessa was hit, he was livid, worse than Potter even. And Potter was pretty mad, when time out was called so that Nessa could be cleaned up for the second time, he stormed over to Korkoff and had a full on blow out about the Slytherins and how they should be sent off the field and made to forfeit.

We could hear it all the way up in the stands, not pretty at all

The look Tristan was giving the beaters was nothing short of terrifying, I'm pretty sure those two Slytherins are going to mysteriously turn up at the hospital wing completely covered in hexes. He would never admit to it but I know he cares a great deal for Nessa and anyone who hurts her has to answer to him.

Last year Nessa's Ravenclaw boyfriend cheated on her with some blonde bimbo, they both disappeared and about a week later they were found in Dungeon three, shivering and rambling about psychotic pink bunnies. When word got out Tri had a rather large smile on his face, especially when Nessa said they deserved it. It got me wondering about those two that's for sure.

But anyway we won anyway by loads even though it was a horrific game. The Slytherins are actually a pretty good team, it's just that they focus too much energy on causing as much damage as possible. Mikey caught the snitch before things got too bad, though he didn't look to good when he landed. Mikey caught it the worst out of the whole team, he's the smallest and one of the more important players.

As I said the Slytherins were ruthless

We all spilled onto the pitch to congratulate the team and to make sure there was no lasting damage done.

I ran over and hugged both Tri and Nessa, they weren't too bad but exhausted, poor Mikey though. He could hardly stand up straight, I went and slipped his arm around my shoulder to give him some support. He gave me a grateful smile and rested a bit of his weight on me. He wasn't very heavy so it didn't really make much difference.

Damn' I'm such a mother hen

The Slytherin team was not pleased with their loss and glared at us before stalking past on their way to the change room. However one felt that they had to have the last word.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? The mudblood whore playing mummy? You should be used to that by now"

Bloody Reggie, King of All Sore Losers

I was flabbergasted

He was just so… nasty! True Regulus and I are pretty mean to each other but he has never insinuated that I… I… sleep around!

I almost let go of Mikey I was so shocked

The whole Gryffindor team was in shock of what Black had just said. Sirius clenched his fists and let out a very dog like growl. Regulus smirked at us like he had just won the war.

Enter Potter

"Shut up Black, don't call Lily either those things again if you like the shape of your face. Just because you lost spectacularly is no reason to take it out on innocent bystanders. 15 points from Slytherin and a detention"

Black sneered at Potter

"If it isn't the golden boy of Hogwarts himself, what do you care if I call her that? It's not like this little mudblood bitch is worth anything"

Bam!

Potter lost his cool and Black lost his teeth, literally

Sirius had to jump forward and pull Potter off Regulus

By this time the whole team was ready to jump him, they were furious at the nerve of Black. Black stood up again, hitching a sneer back onto his face.

"Is that the best the almighty Potter can do?"

Smack!

I punched him square between the eyes, my senses back along with my temper

Oooh, he's going to look a treat today with two black eyes and a swollen jaw

"How dare you! You spineless piece of filth! What qualifies you to judge me or anyone else for that matter? You have no right to insult me! I was showing kindness to a fellow Gryffindor, not that you would know anything about such a concept Black!"

He looked like he was about to retaliate so I punched him again, square on again, talk about accurate. This time Cam pulled me back and kept me from hitting him for a third time

"Don't speak you horrid, disgusting, little cockroach! If I ever, and mean EVER, see your ugly mug again you will find those black eyes permanently on your face! NOW SOD OFF BEFORE I BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR WORTHLESS BODY!"

Black hurriedly got up and scampered away like a dog with its tail between its legs

Cam let me go and I turned around to the team and friends behind me, I had tears glistening in my eyes. Nessa, Rhi, Dana and Bridget rushed forward and engulfed me in a group hug with a collective "Oh, Lily!"

I must say it was comforting to have my friends around me like that

When they let me go I managed a smile

"Come on, don't we have a victory party to attend?" I choked out

They all smiled at me

"Nice punching Evans, how did you get so good?" Sirius asked patting me on the back

I grinned

"I have an older brother, he keeps me on my toes"

Everyone laughed

"As Lily said we have a victory party to attend, with more than one victory to celebrate, I think Lily deserves a cheer for berating the crap out of Regulus Black!" Potter proclaimed, smiling at me…almost fondly

The party in the common room was awesome, we cast a silencing spell on the common room so that we could party into the wee hours of the morning. There was sooo much food and bottles and bottles of butter beer. Some how this all just appeared and we hooked up some music from the WWN (Wizarding, Wireless Network) on the radio.

I had an excellent time talking, joking and dancing with my friends all night

But just have one question concerning Potter,

.... since when has it been Lily?

* * *

Thank you all so much I reached 100 reviews! You have no idea how excited that got me, I was grinning psychotically for hours. And 14 people reviewed! 14! My lucky day I tell ya. Oh well big thank you to Cait my Beta and to everyone who reads my fic and to those that review!

**Occupied Neptune: **Awww! The cup cakes aren't that bad! But very true every one has to have one each or else all hell breaks lose! lol I was making cupcakes today, chocolate with chocolate icing and chocolate sprinkles and yes I am a chocolate fiend! Any way glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the review!

**Missmcweir:** Thank you I'm glad you like it, I use sarcasm all the time and am constantly chided for it sigh at least some one likes my sense of humour :D About Narcissa, she married _Luscious_ Malfoy not _Draco_ Malfoy, sorry if it came across that way. Thanks for the review!

**Vanessa-Black and Zabini:** LOL! I think the treat of obtaining a stalker got me writing more! :D Glad you enjoyed the chapter and I am delighted you find my sorry so enjoyable. Thanks for the review!

**SlippersRfuzzy: **Thank you, thank you, thank you for updating your wonderful stories Cait they were awesome as always! Thankyou for taking the time to review even though you've already read the chapter!

**Annmarie Aspasia:** oooh I think you know what Remus was getting at now but keep reading just to see how things develop! Thanks for the review Ann marie!

**Mello80: **Hope your game went well! Did you win? I know that's not necessarily important but it's a plus all the same! I got itchy fingers and couldn't stop writing! Thanks for the review!

**Persona:** yes well I got sick of Remus being the responsible saintly one so I decided to portray him as the scheming mischievous cretin I imagine him to be! I'm glad you thought it was fun. Thanks for the review!

**Asiashadow:** Thanks for the review!

**Biach:** I'm glad you like it! A girly Lily wasn't exactly my idea but I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the review!

**Anonymouse:** thankyou and don't worry I know you read it, you're one of my most faithful readers! I have a thing for sugar as well, try pancakes with golden syrup smeared all over them, oh my god it is wickedly delicious! Thanks for the review!

**Alena:** Thanks for the compliments and the review!

**Billy:** I'm someone's FAVOURITE!!! :D that saying can mean a whole lot of things all depending on how you look at it. I love, love, love reading your reviews there always so sweet! Thanks for the review!

**Cpegasus:** yes I was looking at that the other day and thought how bland and boring the chapter titles were. I will see what I can do to spice it up. Thanks for the review!

**MsMyrtle360:** Thanks for the review!

Please remember to...

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	18. Mothers & Snooping

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Tuesday 9th November – Library **

I think I just got the worst news of my life this morning

Apparently I am to have a coming out party.

I know what your thinking, a what party?

Well you see my dad's family is rather well to do and my mother… well my mother is the original social climber. Her and my sister fuss about absolutely _everything _and know _everyone's_ business, and my mother makes sure the whole family is seen at all the right events.

My dad, brothers and I couldn't care less about how people see us, my mother on the other hand is obsessed with 'high society'

And in _high society_ it is custom for the daughters to have coming out parties, _once the young ladies come of age they are formally introduced to society_, biggest load of wank I ever heard but here you go. It took me three months to talk my mother out of making me a debutant last summer. I mean why would anyone want to walk down a catwalk like a piece of cattle at market?

_Prospective husbands _

That is why all this takes place. To find me a husband. Personally I think she's balmy, I'm sixteen for Christ's sake! My dad has the same attitude but he just rolls his eyes when she starts up and goes back to his paper, later on he brings me bowl of chocolate ice cream tells me not to worry, I can marry whoever I want.

My mum and I always have these big fights, especially over the prospective husband issue. Petunia was a good little girl and did everything she was told, a queen's debutant, Ms Society and is now about to be engaged to a whale of man that my mother picked out.

I used to just stand there and take her verbal abuse but then I hit fifteen and thought 'screw it' so I started to shout back. The first time I did this my mother was so shocked she burst into sobs and managed to choke out _"Why are you so difficult Lillianna?"_

Now she tries more subtle tactics

Don't get me wrong I do get along with my mother, I love her and I know she loves me and that this is just her way of doing what she thinks is best for me. It's just that I have always been the more 'difficult' child out of the four to raise, I steadfastly refused to grow up into the wallflower my sister has become.

I voice my opinion, scrape my knees and play fantastical make believe

All the things frowned upon by 'our society', especially in women. You can tell I'm popular with the great aunts.

All right so I'm hated by ancient relatives, no biggie, I can deal with that, as horrible as it sounds they'll kick the bucket soon enough and then be on their way to that big country club in the sky.

But a _coming out party_?

Has she truly lost all sense of reality? Me? In a big white dress? Smiling pleasantly at senile delegates with values and attitudes based on the fourteenth centaury feudal system? Forced to dance with some pompous son of an _important_ member of society?

_Oh of course! And do pass the cucumber sandwiches?_

gag

Sod that! As if I would even turn up!

But what's worse is mother wants to _introduce_ me _to society before the summer season starts _and _what better time than the Annual Christmas Ball?_

Dear lord, I think I'm going to hurl!

_The Annual Christmas Ball?_

And she said this as if it were a great honor

Yep, she's definitely gone off the deep end this time

Like I want to go to the bleeding ball! It's full of stuffy, self important, deluded jerks that think they're some one.

In other words they're 'would-be's-if-they-could-be's'

It drives me nuts and my mother happens to be one of the worst, her and her friend Vivian. I hear them having tea sometimes during the summer and I just want to rush in there and beat them over the head with a foam noodle

But what astounds me even more is the fact that she new about the ball Hogwart's is having! How did she bloody well hear about that? I swear she has spies! She probably got to the twins; they always got along well with her due to their mutual fascination with clothing.

But I swear I will find out her news source and then discretely resolve the issue… most likely by blasting the good for nothing sneak into oblivion, but in a private and proper manner… with no witnesses

I have already been instructed that **I'm going to the ball and that I am to find a date!** Um… how about… no? I don't agree with balls in the first place so… But I have to go any way and with Daniel, so that's that part done with. Though I could probably find a way not to go just to spite her!

**I am not to wear white** as my mother has already picked out a _ravishing cream dress_ for The Annual Christmas Ball as my _coming out dress_ and I can't be seen wearing the same color twice _because,_ gasp, _people might think it's the same dress_!

Yeah, like people from Hogwarts are actually going to see me at _The Annual Christmas Ball_

Bloody cashew

Now I have to figure out a way of becoming conveniently sick on Christmas Eve but work it so I'm not sick for the rest of the holidays or Christmas Day with out raising suspicion.

This is going to be a tricky one

Like I want to go to that ruddy ball anyway! All they do is sip brandy and port, go around gossiping about on another and being two faced mongrels

That sounds like fun! I can't wait to get there!

Ugh!

Once you turn sixteen you are of age and then you have to full fill your duty of being present, when your younger you're called upon by your parents to be introduced to some relative or are aid to your parents bragging, we've all been a show pony at one stage or another

I was planning on saying that I needed to look after Harry this year because there are no other kids his age but now I have to actually be present in the Ballroom at least Will is going to be there so I'm not completely out on my own

I will have to continue scheming later, Charlie's here for tutoring…

Presently Charlie is reading my mother's letter with a very amused smile on his face it's threatening to become a grin

Wait it just did… he's now full on grinning at my letter

I still say that grin is familiar, I can't work out were I know it from I just do…

"You have a very… interesting mum"

If he smirks I'll whack him one

"Yes, she thinks so"

… and that she's incredibly beautiful and charmingly charismatic and entertainingly witty

Ugh!

Vain as hell too

"I guess you don't get on that well?"

Try world war is a regular occurrence in our house over the holidays

"You could say that, but as you can see from the letter, 'social climber' is the only word that can best describe her"

I swear if that grin gets any larger it will crack his face

"Don't worry, my mum's a bit like that too"

I scowl at the letter

"It's bad enough that I have to go to one ball now I have to go to two!"

Charlie frowned a little

"I know what you mean, my parents go to one of these Christmas parties every year and my brother and I get dragged along"

I gave him a sympathetic smile

"Then you can understand my great dislike for going?"

He smiled

"Only too well"

I smiled back, at least someone else knows the torture of these balls

"Okay, charms homework please? Let's see if you're learning anything"

The more I see Charlie the more I like him, he's like a little brother, always there to talk to me when I feel absolutely rotten

It's very comforting… apart from the fact that he knows a hell of a lot about me, such as the psycho mother, which even my friends hardly know about.

Charlie is definitely a good friend to have

* * *

**Thursday 11th November – History Of Magic **

You know I had the weirdest revelation today! More like an epiphany actually...

You see I always knew there was something different about Remus, a little off. Not weird as such just something didn't fit. You know he's always sick and goes missing every few weeks

Now that I know I feel like a complete idiot for not recognizing his condition straight away

I only found out because I pieced the clues together after overhearing one of Potter and Black's loud conversations at Lunch

"I wonder how Moony is doing"

"Yeah, that transformation was shocking last night"

Transformation?

I snuck a peek at them as they both winced

"What set him off?" asked Potter

"Someone had been in there since last month and had been on the bed"

Potter looked at Black for a moment

"Was it just one person or two?"

Black looked up quickly

"I know what you're thinking Prongs, no it was just one, a girl"

"Any idea who? How long ago?"

Potter seems quite distressed

"No idea who it was but it was about a week to two weeks ago"

"But Padfoot, how did she know how to get in to the shack?"

I froze

Shack

A week to two weeks ago

A girl

The bed

Bollocks!

How the hell did they know about that?

I mean how could they tell that I had been in there? What were they doing in there in the first place, unless…

"Dunno but it seemed she knew what she was doing, you would think she knew what it was used for"

"But Padfoot no one could possibly know"

By this time I was completely puzzled as to how they came by this information

"Well she would have to be smart to work out the shack isn't actually haunted and as well as what it's use was"

I couldn't help but smile

"Do you think it was a villager or a student?"

"Prongs, think about it all, the villagers are scared witless of it, only a student would be curious enough to go in there"

Very true, I'm a curios person

"I suppose your right Padfoot, do you think we should try and work out who it is?"

"Nah, they don't know who uses it so Moony is safe"

Moony?

Remus!

He's a…

Poor thing, I wonder how old he was bitten?

It was definitely a full moon last night, I know because I was sitting at the window next to my bed looking at it

So that's how he got his nick name

Poor Remus it must be hard being a werewolf

I had my last mouthful and snapped my book shut

I turned to leave and ran smack into someone

Good grief! What a klutz! I can't even leave the great hall with out at least one accident!

I apologized profusely while collecting my books and wondering how in the name of all things holey I managed to be such a disaster, when I finally look up at my innocent victim

Who should I run into?

None other than Remus

He looks a bit tired and kind of white, actually he looks like he's in shock

"Oh Remus, I'm really sorry, you know that I'm like unexplainably klutzy"

I shook my head and smiled at him

He still seems a bit weird but gives me a timid smile

"Sorry again" I said as I hurried away

I looked back at him briefly as I made my way to the doors

Remus had made his way over to Black and Potter and all three of them were now staring at me

I think I know why now, it took me a while to figure it out

Potter said something about 'setting him off' I can only imagine that when Remus goes to the Shrieking Shack to transform having a humans scent in there doesn't help

And when I bumped into him just then he must have recognized me

No wonder they were staring at me seeing as how close I had been to their conversation

Now my dilemma is whether or not I should let Remus know that I know

But maybe he already knows I know

Or even further he knows I know he knows I know

Wait

I'm confusing myself here

I think I shall just carry on as normal and just disregard that piece of information well and truly

Right, carrying on…

Oh I found out who those nicknames belong to though!

Remus is Moony, as I knew before

Black is Padfoot

And Potter is Prongs

I can finally make sense of that conversation from the library, Potter likes some girl and is getting his buddies to help him make her come round to his reasoning, the intimidation is the worst though

Poor girl

I mean I know Potter's a prat but this is slightly obsessive don't you think? I never thought he'd sink this low

Damn it!

I'm doing it again! I'm sticking my nose into other people's affairs

Bugger

I may as well resign my self to the fact that I am going to be the next Sophie Baxter, all right so not that bad but still…

Cam wants to write me a note

**So Little Lily, what are you up? – CD **

_Contemplating what future I have as a gossipmonger – LE _

**Sorry to break it to you sweet heart but you wouldn't make the grade**

_And why, Cameron, do you say that?_

**Cameron now? Well I'm sorry to say you're much to sweet **

_Sweet?! Cameron Davies do you think I am incapable of being nasty?_

**To put it simply Lillianna Evans, yes, sure you could be nasty or scathing but then your conscience would catch up with you and drive you mad till you apologised to no end to whoever it was that you paid out on **

_Damn your right_

**Why were you considering a future as a gossip any way?**

_I accidentally overheard a few conversations and just happen to have a revelation at lunch _

**_'Accidentally overheard'_? Is there such a thing?**

_Yes! On both occasions I was minding my own business when the people talking happened to come with in my range of hearing _

Cam gives me a disapproving look

_What?! _

**Wouldn't the noble thing to do be walk away or move?**

_The first time I was looking for a book for my astronomy the second time I was eating lunch! You want me to inconvenience myself just to please a couple of jerks who should keep their voices down?_

**Who are said jerks?**

_Complete prats _

**We established that. Tell me their names **

_Why should I? _

**Because I want to know and I'm your good buddy Cam… also if you don't tell me I'll just go through this lovely diary and find the answer myself **

_You wouldn't!_

**Try me **

_Fine, it was Remus, Potter and Black_

**What did you find out?**

_And you called me a snoop!_

**I never called you a snoop I just implied it, now what did you find out?**

_Just what their nick names are, how much of a prat Potter is, with a really twisted sense of romance and something about Remus which I am not going to tell you cause it's secret _

**Fine I won't ask about Lupin, but what was that about Potter and romance?**

_He's a nut case, worse than the twins_

**Come on Lily, no ones that bad**

_Yes he is, I thought that Dana and Bridget came up with some pretty weird schemes to get a guy but Potter is out right manipulative _

Cam gets a weird look on his face

**What's he done?**

_I'm not really sure but from what I can figure out Potter has the hots for some girl and has assigned his good friend Black to intimidate any one who could be competition. He then roped Remus into helping with the wooing of said girl _

**Maybe he really likes her**

_Cam don't be ridiculous, Potter and Black are the schools two biggest bachelors with a tral of broken hearts following behind them a mile long . They never stay with one girl longer than a couple of weeks. _

**You never know, this could be different Potter hasn't dated this year **

Go him 

_Why does everyone find that such an important fact and feel the need to point it out to me?_

**Who else told you about that?**

_Sophie Baxter_

**Oh, well she'd know**

_Any way do you really think that underhanded methods of intimidation are going to win fair ladies heart when she finds out about it?_

**Well, maybe they thought she wouldn't **

_Ugh! I don't care about Potter, I just feel sorry for the poor girl who is having her life manipulated to due to the whim of the Great James Potter_

Cam raises his eyebrows

**Any idea who? **

_No but I think that someone should tell her_

**Oh I think she knows about it, she's just not entirely aware it's happening **

_What's that supposed to mean? Do you know who it is? If you do you should tell her _

**I'll think about it **

_No, you have to tell her _

_Cam _

_Cameron _

_Yammy Cammy _

_Cameron Davies answer me!_

Fine he's being a twat

But I will find out who it is from Cam whether he likes it or not and then I can warn her

As I said…

Poor girl

* * *

Hey everyone thank you very much for your support, I'm sorry I couldn't write answers back to you but I have 30 mins on the computer that has internet access so I have to make this quick

Thank you very much to all **14 reviewers!**

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W


	19. The Grin, The Girl & The Gowns

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Monday 22nd November – Girls Dorm**

Well tonight was eventful as ever

First was the prefect meeting

Of course Black couldn't let it pass peacefully, he's become rather narky

True he never comments or comes near me during class or in the halls

He's too scared I might hit him again

But in the deserted classroom we use for prefect meetings Black seems to get his old self back complete with inflated ego

rolls eyes

Why does he have to be such a drop kick huh?

I'm positive he was dropped on his head as a child, either that or Sirius did something that damaged the thought process during a crucial stage of development

Sounds like something he would do anyway

Everything was going dandy till Amy mentioned that posters for the ball were being put up on house common room notice boards

Needless to say Black was not happy about this reminder

"Are you still adamant that we have to act like a bunch of muggles just to please the Mudbloods"

Oh he's asking for it

Everyone, except the other Slytherin prefects were glowering at Black

Now why does this sound familiar?

"Black" Potter growled

Black just sneered at him

"You're no better Potter, a family of blood traitors"

Oh geez he really _is_ upset if he's having a go at one of the oldest wizarding families in Britain, I better step in and take the heat before he gets himself in real trouble

"Give it a rest Reggie"

He swivels to glare at me

"Of course, the mudblood bitch"

I roll my eyes and stand up to face him

Potter looks like he's about to hex him till next Thursday

"Reggie I thought you would have got the point by now, even if you do have the intellect of a troll, muggleborns are part of the wizarding community, so deal with it"

I think his head is about to explode it's so red

"They most certainly are _not_! Especially the self important little mudbloods like you!"

I sigh

Dear lord, I think we've been through this at least 100 times before

"20 points from Slytherin for foul language and racist attitude"

Potter's not happy and taking points would be one of the first signs that he's losing his cool, or it could be his neck becoming steadily scarlet…

Black changes the direction of his glare again

"Potter, of course, you seem to have a fondness for mudbloods, one in particular"

Black glanced at me as he said this

What? He thinks the mudblood insult is supposed to affect me?

Idiot

But I'm fed up with his incessant whining

"Black sit down and shut up before I make you, the ball is happening whether you like it or not and I know this may be difficult for you to understand but the world does not revolve you"

Black gave me one last glare before sitting down

I sat down as well and turned my attention back to Amy

Once I got back from the prefect meeting I was attacked as soon as I walked into our dorm

Well I thought I was being attacked anyway

It turned out to be a hysterical Bridget

She was hugging me and sobbing into my shoulder

I sent a very distressed look at Rhi, Nessa and Dana

'Her and Matt broke up' Dana mouthed to me

Matt was Bridget's latest boyfriend and we had all thought him to be a decent guy

Apparently he's not so decent

"Oh sweetie, what happened?" I tried in a sympathetic voice

Bridget just sobbed harder

I looked over at the other girls all clustered on Bridget's bed

"Bridget and I happened to…er…walk in on Matt and Maggie Douglas in the library while they were in a very… compromising position" Rhi answered

I winced as Bridget hugged me harder

"Oh Bridget! It'll be okay, it was better to find out what he's like now before you got really attached"

Bridget looked up at me with her big grey eyes

"But why? Wasn't I good enough for him? What was so horrible about me that he had to go find someone else?"

We were on the bed by this time

It hurt us all to see Bridget like this as her body was racked with sobs

Dana had a particularly dark scowl on her face

Uh oh

The twins are extremely close and couldn't stand to see each other in any sort pain

Bad news for Matt Jefferies

I can see the wheels turning as her beautiful face contorts itself even darker, Jefferies won't know what hit him

"Why do I have such bad judgement?"

"We were all fooled Bridg" consoled Nessa

"But I seem to always pick the horrid ones! Maybes it because that's the type of guy I attract: the fuck wits!"

She's hiccupping now, not good

"Don't be silly Bridget, there's plenty of decent guys out there who want to go out with you"

She stared art me for a second

"That's easy for you to say! All the sweet ones want to date you! Hell, you have two of the cutest and sweetest guys here chasing after you!"

Now it was my turn to stare

You have to be kidding me! What guys are chasing after me? The chasing involving a guy and myself was Daniel being 'chased' away!

I shall put that comment down to her hysterical state of mind

We spent the next hour calming Bridget down and letting her cry on our shoulders before I had to go patrol

Oh what fun! I have patrol with Potter when I should be there my friend who has just had a very nasty break up

Though when I think about it, it may have been an escape because Bridget can become quite violet when she gets upset about a messy break ups. Her eyes had gone red before so I guess it was a good thing I left when I did

I met Potter in the common room and we made our way out into the main area of the castle

Usually we just go around in silence with Potter making the odd comment every now and then

Tonight I was paying him no attention what so ever and I almost ran into several statues

I finally ran into a suit of armour

As Potter was helping me up he couldn't hold back his curiosity any longer

"What's the matter? You've been rather preoccupied"

I chewed my lip for a minute deciding how much I should tell him

"It's nothing, I've just been entertaining ideas of Matt Jefferies joining the Headless Hunt"

Potter raised his eyebrows

"That's rather harsh, do you have these murderous thoughts regularly, or is this a special case?" He asked in an amused tone

I glared at him

"No I don't, Jefferies is a two timing jerk is all"

He looks confused for a second

"You were dating Jefferies?"

"No, Bridget was, you know one of the twins? And he decided to have his cake and eat it too, he went off with bloody Maggie Douglas only to have Bridget and Rhi walk in on them"

Potter grimaced

"So naturally I am plotting Jefferies and Douglas's down falls since I am unable to comfort my friend at this moment due to patrols"

Potter nodded in understanding

"So what are you going to do to them?"

"I'm not sure yet but I'll have to confer with Dana before we take any action, I might actually have to restrain her from rendering Jefferies reproductive organs useless"

Potter winced

"Now that is harsh, can't you settle for a simple highly embarrassing prank?"

I looked at him

"Appeal to Dana not me, though social standing will be the least of his worries when we're finished with him"

"I don't know if it's right that you talk about this sort of thing with such passion, I never figured you as the sort that likes to inflict pain" Potter said with a smirk

Ugh! That bloody smirk!

I glared at him

"If you mess with my friends you're asking for it, that's about the only thing that can bring out my malicious streak… well that and my mother"

Potter knits his brows together

"Is that why you've never completely decimated Black?"

"Uh huh, I can handle all of his pathetic attempts at intimidation and the idiotic name calling but if he was to say one word against my friends he would never see the light of day again" I answered with a small smile on my face

Potter grinned

I stared at him

That grin

Oh my god…

* * *

**Thursday 25th November – Library **

On Tuesday I had the most interesting conversation with Charlie

Okay so it was interesting for me and just plain painful for Charlie

But he deserved it!

He deceived me! The little cretin!

When he sat down next to me in the library on Tuesday I hitched a sickeningly sweet smile on my face and addressed him in a voice that dripped with honey

"Hello Charlie"

He was actually smart enough to be afraid of me

"Um… hi?"

I stared at him with a steady, unblinking gaze

"Charlie, is there anything you would like to tell me… such who you're older brother is?"

He gulped

"You figured that one out?"

I cocked my head to the side

"Surprisingly yes I did, did you know that grin of yours is a family trait?"

Charlie smiled weakly

"Really? who would have guessed?"

I dropped all pretence of sweetness

"Why didn't you tell me James Potter was your brother?"

"er… It never came up?"

Nice try kiddo

"Charlie"

"Because I didn't want to be judged for having the wonderful James Potter as a brother?"

I pursed my lips

"Charlie you should know by know that I don't judge people by their families only by who they are"

He looked down

"And what do you mean it never came up? All the times I was ranting about bloody James Potter and you never once tried to interrupt me or make any attempt of telling me"

Now I was hurt

Charlie had purposely kept this from me

"Well what was I supposed to do? Plus for once I was hearing bad comments about my perfect older brother, who every one else in this damn castle worships… except the Slytherins but they don't count"

I smiled sympathetically

I know only too well what it's like to have wonderful older siblings

Will was a freaking genius, he got a record number of OWLs, was Head Boy and did excellently on his NEWTs

Petunia was a bright student in her muggle school not one of the best but a high achiever, but what really made her the apple of my mother's eye was her social behaviour and various achievements as the perfect daughter

Ugh!

See what I have to live up to?

Because I'm a witch and the second daughter I have to meet the standards set by both of my older siblings

Bloody bollocks

I told Charlie this and he seemed to perk up a bit

I admit I was rather annoyed at Charlie when I first made the connection between him and Potter, actually I was down right angry and betrayed

But now I don't really mind

I still complain to him, he understands where I'm coming from

Though I have no idea where that boy gets his word pronunciation and wand moment ideas from

Loony, that's the only word for it

Just this afternoon he did this weird, complicated twist thingy instead of a simple wish and flick movement

I swear Potter's done something to addle his younger siblings brain, he and Sirius probably had a game of who could screw up their younger brother more

Black won

No doubt about that

….

Ugh!

Right I've had enough

I hate, hate, HATE transfiguration!

Bloody McGonagall, she assigned this gigantically enormous transfiguration project on human transfiguration

I'm an average student at transfiguration but this thing is massive, the instruction notes were two and a half feet in themselves!

It's mad!

I shudder to think how long the actual thing will be

Oh well my procrastination skills will of course be put well into practice

I have no idea how I maintain my good grades when I'm such a slacker

I do get things in on time but I finish it like the night before, that's why I'm such a stickler for punctuality, I'm a perfectionist but I have a habit of leaving it to the last minute

But I do use the time procrastinating to do productive things such as the witch weekly cross word, reading the Quibbler and reorganising the makeup in the bathroom

Okay so all those things are a complete waste of time but occasionally I do actually use the time to my advantage

For example earlier I used the time I was supposed to use starting my transfiguration project sorting out my feelings for Daniel

I think this was an effective use of my time because that is one thing I have been putting off for well… ever since I heard him and Black in the library

Right well I took a good look at myself and at the situation and I came to one conclusion

Infatuation

That was it

I was utterly obsessed

I think I was in love with the idea of being in love

But I looked at things properly and could see that I didn't truly feel anything for Daniel it was just my mind telling me I was. I mean I get along with him well, he's very sweet and an absolute dish but I don't get that tingly feeling when I touch him or any of those things

I don't feel as though I could look into his eyes forever

I suppose there's just no connection

I know that all sounds like cliché and you just want to shout BOLLOCKS!!! But I think I may have watched one too many Disney movies, wait scratch that, I watched _way too many_ Disney movies

What can I say I have an altered sense of reality

For me love will have to come not necessarily in the form of a fairy tale prince but the guy will have to affect me like no one else has ever made me feel. That's a tall order I know but I've always had high standards

So what I felt for Daniel was definitely infatuation or puppy love as people sometimes call it

Another productive way I spent my time was pestering Cam

Though this one was not nearly as productive as the whole resolve what you're feeling thing but it took up time

I have been pestering him for a grand total of… let me think …14 days, two weeks exactly

He's not happy about it either

I think he was about to box me one…. or hex me at the least, so I decided to confine my interrogations to the History of Magic room, well mostly, I ask him one question every day at breakfast

He gets all grouchy and looks uncomfortable and the others just give us weird looks

I think Cam told the others what it is about because every morning when I ask the others look sympathetically at Cam and try to distract me

Hey I admit I am rather oblivious to most things but I'm not completely blind

Now in HOM it's a different story, that's when I truly get my information, he keeps refusing to say anything but every now and then he cracks and gives me some seemingly useless and generic piece of information

**This is what I have so far:**

**It's a girl** – I would never have guessed… but you never know Potter could have swung that way

**In 5th, 6th or 7th year** –If he were cracking on to any one younger than 5th year I'd have labelled him paedophilic

**Not in Slytherin** – Really? There goes my entire Suspected Victim List!

**Boyfriend: No** - I should bloody well hope so! But I really wouldn't put it past Potter to poach some other bloke's girl

**Some Observations**

**This girl obliviously doesn't like Potter, doesn't know he exists or is just playing hard to get** – Considering the number of girls that throw themselves at Potter I think the latter is the most likely

**Potter is trying exceptionally hard** – Personally, I think he just likes the challenge and the thrill of chase

**Potter is being sneaky and underhanded** – Surprise! Surprise!… it should be expected really

Well from all those clues I sure have narrowed it down from 1008 (approximate total number of students at Hogwarts) down to what?

To 504 girls approx in Hogwarts

To 216 girls approx in 5-7 year

To 164 girls approx not in Slytherin

To – I have no idea how many have boyfriends

Ahhh! This is hopeless!

I have to investigate 164 girls!

Wait make that 163, I know for a fact that I can exclude myself, I am definitely not James Potter's type

* * *

**Saturday 27th November – Common Room**

Ugh!

You know how I said a quidditch match is the only thing that will get the twins out of bed on a Saturday before 10?

I was wrong

There is just one other thing: Clothes Shopping

I know Dumbledore's a brilliant man and all but really did he have to go and make a Hogsmeade weekend especially for the ball?

There is such a thing as owl order

The news was announced last Monday, the twins already had our whole day planned by lunch

Yes that is an 'our' in there, apparently Nessa and I are hopeless with clothing so we need the supervision of the Style Queens, so they though they might as well bring Rhi along and make it a girls day out

It started at six o'clock this morning when I was literally dragged from my bed, shoved in the shower and then hauled to breakfast along with Nessa and Rhi

Dana and Bridget had been up since 5:30am

We were in Hogsmeade for 7 o'clock, precisely when all the dress shops open and all the normal teenagers are still in their beddies fast asleep and woke even think of waking up till for at least another two hours

Dana, Bridget, Rhi and Nessa all had fun dressing up in the gorgeous muggle dresses the various boutiques had to offer. Personally I was happy to take the first dress I picked up and be down with it but oh no I had to try on the whole freaking shop!

I have no idea how many dresses I tried on but it was a little as possible

Dana and Bridget showed hundreds of dresses but I felt like being fussy and refused most of them

Too revealing

It's lace!

You expect me to wear that colour in public?!

Too frumpy!

Just a sample of my opinions

Once we had all got two dresses each, don't ask why it was something the twins were on about, we moved on to accessories

I hate accessories, they annoy me to no end

Bridget and Dana wouldn't let me have any say in it any way, I just bought the stuff I was told

Then we moved on to shoes

I love high heels

It is my one girly fetish

I love high heels, sparkly

Feathery, bejewelled high heels

But we were only in the shoe store for about an hour, fun suckers

Once we left the shoes behind I lost the little interest I had for this whole ball thing

We were the last people back from Hogsmeade, we almost missed dinner because Bridget spotted this little boutique just as we were leaving and just had to see what the earrings in the window would look like on her

Ugh!

Nessa and I have just escaped from our dorm

Nessa doesn't mind dress shopping

I abhor it

But there is only so much one can take

The twins have taken out every dress, hair accessory, make up, bag and pair of shoes our dorm contains and decided that there was no time like the present to organise everyone's outfits

Slow death of boredom

It must be the only thing Dana and Bridget have ever actually prepared for… period

Had it been left to me, I would have found a dress the night before in my trunk some where and figured out the rest as I went a long

But oh no not the damn twins

But NOOOO! They have to be organised _for the first time in their lives_

Nessa is spread on the couch and I'm curled up in the armchair next to her

I just looked around and there is not one other girl down here, most of the younger kids are in bed anyway but the older girls are all admiring today's purchases

…

Oh for Christs sake!

Bridget and Dana just came down here in a whorl of energy, bringing colour swatches of fabric, make up samples, a couple of bags and a few shoes

"Lily! Nessa! We need to coordinate!"

Of course this caught the attention the whole common room seeing as it was all guys and I'm pretty sure they had never seen this type of display before. They were all rather curios

Nessa was yanked into a sitting position, still half asleep

"BLOODY HELL!"

I giggled

Bad move

Next second my diary was torn from my grasp as the Twins bore down on us

"What the… Dana, Bridget, is this really necessary we went through this about ten times today and do you have to do that _here_"

Nessa and I were acutely aware that the whole common room was staring at us

You'd think this lot had never seen a girl before… maybe they've just never seen Dana and Bridget on fashion endeavour

Lucky bloody them

"Well we wouldn't have to be down here if you were in the dorm like normal people" Dana scolded

I stuck my tongue out

Oh yeah I really want to be swallowed by a pile of clothes I'm fine here

What does she mean normal people?

Look all the bloody people down here!

Nessa and I were both about to comment on this when Bridget cut us off

"Like normal _girls_" she glared at us "Honestly you two are as bad as this lot" indicating to the boys surrounding us "Lily you're probably worse"

I gave her a death glare

"You would be too if this was how you spent the majority of your childhood! I come to Hogwarts to get away from this crap. You two are just as bad as my mother"

Out the corner of my eye I could see Charlie grinning from his seat next to Mikey

Dana rolled her eyes

"Come on Lily your mum isn't that bad, she's actually very good with fashion"

I huffed

"For a social climbing wannabe" I mumbled

"What were you down here for again?" I said loudly

I hate having this debate with the twins. They think my mother is wonderful and I think… well you know what I think of her. Anything is better than a debate over my mother with Dana and Bridget, especially in the common room with about 50 or so eager males bearing witness

Nessa and I sat dazed as Dana and Bridget decided our futures in a flurry of colours, textures and undistinguisable chatter

With in five minutes they were gone, the only evidence that they had been down here was the shocked looks on our faces

The rest of the common room was grinning at us

"What?! Never seen a member of the opposite sex before" I yelled

They all just turned backed to what they had been doing with large grins on their faces, Nessa settled back onto the couch

I was massaging my head due to my newly acquired, twin induced, head ache

Charlie came over smiling sweetly

"Hey Lily"

I eyed him warily

"What do you want?"

"Someone's snappy"

I looked at him

"You try putting up with that since six this morning and see how you deal with it"

he chuckled

"That would be pretty bad"

I stared incredulously at him

"Pretty bad?! You have no bloody idea"

"I thought you said you spent half your childhood putting up with this, shouldn't you be used to it?"

I closed my eyes, my head in my hands

"No it just makes it worse, I wasn't supposed to do anything when I was little except wear pretty dresses and put my dolls in equally pretty dresses"

"You didn't comply?"

I snorted

"No bloody way! I saw what my sister turned out like and flat out refused to do the same. I think I may have told the nanny to shove the doll up her nose before runny out the nursery and in to the garden"

"You really aren't the girly type are you?"

My eyes snapped open – that was not Charlie's voice

I was faced with James Potter lounging next to his younger brother

Now I see them together they are a spitting image of each other, I think it was Charlie's blonde hair that threw me off but other than that they're identical

"Ugh! Not you as well, ones bad enough!"

I noticed Black was having a right good time torturing the hell out of Nessa because she had to wear a dress

She doesn't do dresses

Remus was sitting casually in the armchair opposite me

"Don't you like dressing up Lily?" questioned Remus

"To put it mildly no"

I closed my eyes and leaned back into my chair

"No frills and lace for you then"

"Much to mother's disappointment"

I could feel them looking at me

Sod off! What am I, a zoo attraction?

"What were you doing instead?"

I smiled

"Climbing trees, building cubbies, trying to abseil down the tree, having sword fights with my brother, those pretty dresses become not so pretty after that"

"Abseil? Down a tree?"

I opened my eyes and raised my eyebrows at Potter; I never thought he would know about abseiling

"What? I wanted to see what it was like so I got a rope and swung it over branch, tied it around my waist and away I went, of course my sister snitched on me so I had to spend the rest of the afternoon in time out"

Potter's eyes are bugging from his head

"What's abseiling?" asked Sirius

"It's a muggle activity where you use a rope tied around your body and attached at a higher to gown down things like a cliff face" Potter explained

I nodded

Sirius stared at me

"You did that by yourself? For fun?"

"Yes…"

He grinned at me

"You're better than I thought"

What's that supposed to mean?

"I bet your mum had a heart attack" Charlie pitched in

I laughed

"She went nutty, all red in the face, but I get into trouble so often she just says my name with an exasperated sigh"

"At least your mum has given up on the speeches, I get them at least once a week" Charlie said with a defeated sigh

"Oh I do get the lecture it's just I know the 'How a well brought up young lady should behave' speech off by heart, plus I have daily reminders"

"Elbows off the table"

"Ankles crossed not legs"

"Sit up straight"

"Shoulders back"

"Blah, blah, blah… ugh"

"She's a nightmare to live with, but enough of horridly annoying mothers… what did you lot do in Hogsmeade?"

The Marauders grinned at one another

"Wait, I don't want to know"

Nessa had fallen asleep on the couch slumped next to Black

I couldn't help but smile, if Tristan saw this he would probably have a fit, plus Nessa was softly snoring

"Come on sleeping beauty, I think the dorm's safe now"

"What?! No Dana, I don't know what colour bra you should wear… wait, what? Oh sod it"

We all couldn't help but laugh at Nessa as she came to her senses

I was still chuckling as we made out way up the staircase, Nessa was mortified at what she had said and kept giving me glares

What it's not my fault she said that!

All right so maybe I could have prevented it but it was to funny

"Hey guys, Lily there's a letter for you, I think it's from your mum"

Bollocks!

Instant karma

A sodding letter from my darling mother dearest

Ugh!

* * *

Hi everyone!I am still on computer probation soI have to makes this real quick, this chapter was super, super long (18 pages! Double what I usually write) becauseI am going on away for about two weeks starting monday! Hopefully this will tie you all over till I get back, I have no computer access where I'm going, I think I'll die!

But thank you so much to every one who read my story and especailly to those 18 people who reviewed, i believe that is a record of reviews for me

**missmcweir**

**anonymouse**

**Claer Roe **

**Billy **

**Occupied Neptune**

**SlippersRfuzzy**

**Arinanna**

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**Lyz**

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**ME**

**teenbibliophile12**

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Thank you all so muchI hope you all have a wonderful Christmas season!

Gingerbread people all round!

Please remember to...

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	20. Mummy Dearest and favours?

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

A/N: A few people have commented on my swearing, which I can only deduce is things like 'Sodding', 'bloody', 'bollocks', 'bleeding' ect. I am sorry if any of these curses offend, however to me this is hardly swearing. The 'f' word, 'c' word, 's' word are all daily occurrences in my society, therefore I do not consider the likes of 'bollocks' or 'bleeding hell' to be particularly offensive. If you do find these terms offensive I apologise profusely, however I am not about to change my writing. This is suppose to be the diary of a six teen year old girl – legally allowed to have sex, get married in some countries, watch MA 15 movies, you can not expect it to be free of profanity.

None of the profanity is meant to be offensive and the harsher terms are never directed at anyone in particular

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**Sunday 28th November – Lunch **I am going to disown my mother 

Seriously the woman has gone completely nutty

Before I thought she maybe had a mild case of premature dementia but I am now ready to believe she has full-fledged schizophrenia

Not only has she picked out my dress and accessories for this introducing me to society thing (I drew the line at shoes, nobody chooses my shoes except me), the raving loony I call mummy dearest has chosen my 'escort' as well

It sounds like she hired a male prostitute!

Here's the letter…

_Dear Lillianna,_

_How are you Dear? I hope everything is well for you. Daddy and I are both fine, although Daddy has a bit of a head cold from all the stress he's been under at work, those incessant clerks at the bank are causing an up roar again about their wages, honestly you'd think they would find themselves fortunate to even be earning the amount they do! _

_Henry is doing wonderfully at school; he came top of his class for his latest mathematics test and was champion boy for his age group at the interschool athletics carnival. Although I have some concerns about his behaviour at home, he will not go anywhere in the house with out that fake wand you left here over the summer. I really do wish you would make sure all those things are packed away, Henry is getting his hopes up about receiving a letter this summer. But he asks after you continually and he wanted me to say hello for him, very sweet of him._

_Petunia is getting along fine, her and Vernon are quite happy; they are taking their relationships in leaps and bounds. I am so pleased she has found happiness with such a gentlemanly young man. I'm sure she will write and tell you all about it, I won't steal her thunder by revealing anymore. _

_The main reason I am writing to you dear is that The Annual Christmas Ball is fast approaching and we need to finalise all the details. Now I have arranged for your dress to be sent two weeks prior to the ball in case you don't agree with my choice and I have the jewellery and hairpieces waiting for you. _

_I know you said your one condition for agreeing to my choosing the dress was that you chose your shoes personally, but sweet heart leaving it till only a couple of days before the event is not at all practical. Haven't I taught you anything? You must always prepare well in advance for such events. Petunia has already had her whole ensemble planned for months in advance! We are going to go shoe shopping the Monday morning you get back, no arguments_

_Oh I just received wonderful news! You know Vivian of course, well we were having tea the other day when plans for the Annual Christmas Ball and your coming out came up in discussion, and Vivian asked if you would like to take her eldest son to the ball as your escort! I said yes of course, how could I refuse? Vivian's boys are gorgeous, I've met them a couple of times and they are just adorable._

_The eldest is very handsome and quite the charmer, I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to get to know him. Vivian and I both agree that you would both look stunning together. This is like a dream come true, Vi and I have been friends for such a long time it would be simply charming if we could call each other family._

_So darling don't forget about the shoes and please don't take to long to write back we don't have that long before the big event. _

_Good luck for the Yule Ball!_

_Love always, _

_Mummy xoxox_

_P.S. Will said he would write to you with in the next couple of days_

Doesn't it make you just want to run for cover?

That…thing has set me up with some poor boy and is even hinting at marriage!

I've never even met Vivian's sons before! Sure Vivian and Harold have dinner every now and then with my parents but we children are never invited to partake in the event. They also sometimes go on holiday together during term so of course the children are at school. But I hardly know them let alone their children!

The mad woman is suggesting I marry someone I have never even met and that she has only met a coupe of times!

'_Came up in discussion'_? I highly doubt it. Those two old crones had probably been planning this since the day we were born.

'_it would be simply charming if we could call each other family' _Not exactly subtle is she? For some reason this doesn't seem like a spontaneous decision that I go with Vivian's son

Especially since this is my first official time mingling with society, wouldn't that ward other suitors off if I happen to be on the arm of a _very handsome_ chap who is _quite the charmer_ on my first outing in society?

Looks to me as though my future is pretty much stiched up, well at least from my mother's point of view

I wonder how old he is?

Vivian's eldest I mean, he must be younger than Petty or else they would already be engaged and Vernon wouldn't have gotten a look in. So he's either a year older than me or my age

Ugh!

Great

I have to spend Christmas Eve with a pompous arse and I can't even ditch him because I if I do he'll tell his mother who will tell my mother and then I will really be in the sticky brown stuff

This just plain stinks

If my mother thinks I am just going to sit here and let her coerce me into an engagement with some arrogantly pompous golden boy she has another thing coming.

The only thing that I can think of is: Sabotage

I will go out of my way and do what ever I can to make him run for the hills, by the end of the evening he will wish he was 10,000 miles away and begging his mother to find him another, more suitable, partner.

Perfect plan really...

_'I have arranged for your dress to be sent two weeks prior to the ball in case you don't agree with my choice'_

Hah! More like so she can nit pick and make sure it meets her expectations exactly, I doubt I could even get her to let me pick a different dress if I tried

I am just praying there is no lace, frills, polka dots or bows

I had a party dress like this once and I absolutely refused to wear it

It was a deep maroon colour with a polka dotted, lace over lay, frilly stuff around the arms and waist, topped off with a bow around the middle

I was eight and I think I was supposed to have afternoon tea with Vivian and mother. I refused to wear such a horrid dress, instead I threw on shorts and a t-shirt and joined Will playing safari

When I think about it Vivian had brought her son with her and I was supposed to meet him for some reason or another, the only time I have ever been invited to meet her children and I blew them off

Go me!

Even then they were planning this! I can see that now, sodding schemers

But I mean seriously who puts all that on a dress?

I mean it's too much going on, you have to just have one or else it's too busy

Uh, I just sounded like my sister, shoot me now, please put me out of my misery, I beg you

But really I mean I could handle the bow, but lace, frills and polka dots?

You can see why I'm dreading what this dress will look like now, can't you?

And as for Petty writing to me, I don't think hell has frozen over just yet, but I hope Will writes soon, I really need some one to whine to

* * *

**Wednesday 1st December – Common Room**

Yay! It's the official beginning of the Yuletide Season!

I love Christmas!

But I have never been allowed to put up decorations before the first of December because apparently it's not Christmas before the beginning of December. Which I suppose is true to an extent, though I know people who have their decorations up half way through November.

Some how I manage to control my urge to tinsel everything in sight

But as soon as December first comes there is no turning back

Our dorm is turned into decoration central

I have tinsel wrapped around the beds, holly around the doors, decorations hanging from the ceiling, a mini Christmas tree complete with ornaments and candles, little Santas hanging in the window, fake snow and a sprig of mistletoe hovering around

Plus the mirror is charmed to sing carols

I put all this up without magic, the muggle way is so much more fun, it has become tradition for our dorm to decorate on December first...

The other girls in our year some times drop by to help and muck around.

We make a night of it by snitching food from the kitchens and some drinks and have a beginning of Christmas party.

All right so we just want an excuse to have a party but that's not important...

Last year I managed to get out of decorating the castle by negotiating with Cissa and flattering Diggory until his head was about to explode. This year I appealed to Amy because she is a Gryffindor girl and so knows about our ritual. She said she would sort it all out with Potter and that I could have the night off

Yes, well Amy's version of sorting it all out is not telling Potter… That way he can't blow up at her and everyone's happy…

Unless you are me...

Sodding bad karma

Okay, so I squished a bug yesterday, but it was an earwig! Spiders I can handle but not earwigs, they have big pincer thingies and I don't want to be eaten

That is no reason to have me caught dodging prefect duties!

I volunteered to make the trip to the kitchens and roped Tristan into helping me, after much groaning and complaining he complied and we set off singing Christmas carols that had been tweaked slightly to our liking...

"Jingle bells, Slytherin smells

Reggie laid an egg –"

We bounced into the kitchens, singing at the top of our lungs only to stop mid song like a couple of deer caught in the head lights

Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were both staring at us as though we were nuts with their eyebrows raised

"Er…Hi?"

Bollocks!

Why is it every time I come down here I run into the Marauders, well half of them any way...

Sirius smiled slyly

"Out for a romantic endeavour to the kitchens are we?"

Tristan's face contorted into disgust at the thought of us being intimate, I know for a fact that my face was a mirror image

"Black you have a twisted sense of humour" I told him scowling "Everyone knows Tristan has a thing for Nessa" I continued with a cheeky smile

Tri turned bright red and lunged at me, I dodged and ran around the other side of the bench

"Lils you are going to pay for that… big time"

I smirked

"Am I just? How, pray tell, am I going to pay?"

"You know that issue you're investigating? Well I could convince Cam to hex the living day lights out of you the next time you ask a question about it"

Uh oh, the tables have turned

"Oi, that's not fair! I am going to find out about that whether you like it or not"

Tristan rolled his eyes

"I'm sure you will" he mumbled

Black had been looking between us the whole time with a confused look on his face

"Huh?"

"Doesn't matter" Tri answered

Black brushed it off and his smile returned

"So you have the hots for Nessa? I'll see if I can get our beloved quidditch captain to arrange something" he said with a wink at Tri

Tristan looked as though he was about to jump him so I stepped in

"Thanks that would be great! Wouldn't that be great Tri?"

He gave me the death glare

"Sure, great"

This was followed by much mumbling under his breath

I'll be lucky to make it to my 17th birthday

Sirius' attention was turned to me

"Hey aren't you supposed to be decorating the halls or something with all the other prefects?"

Damn it!

Why can't he be as idiotic as his brother?

"Er… well…. You see… I'm not actually doing any decorating tonight"

"She's wagging so that she can decorate her own dorm with our friends, it's their tradition, every year on December first they eat lots of food and decked the dorm out in tinsel"

I glared at Tri

"Thanks Tri"

He just smiled while Black seemed to become all excited

"What do you wear? Just you're underwear right?"

I looked at like he was mad

"No Sirius, they do not swan around in their underwear while decorating their dorm" sighed an exasperated Peter, he rolled his eyes "Sorry about him but he seems to think all girls do in their dorms is prance around in barely any clothing while gossiping"

I smiled at Peter. He was always good natured and friendly and the boyish charm really get to a girl, many want to just run up to him and give him a hug like the big teddy bear he is

"Sorry to disappoint but Peter's right"

Sirius put on an exaggerated pout

"Bugger, well why'd you have to ruin my fantasy"

We all laughed at this

"So you're not decorating like the other prefects?"

"Er… no"

Sirius smiled and turned to Peter

"That explains it then"

Peter just nodded that exasperated look on his face

Huh?

"Explains what?" I enquired

"Oh nothing just there are less prefects out in the halls than we thought there would be"

I couldn't help but be suspicious of this

I was just bout to ask what they meant by that when the door to the kitchens opened...

And things just went from 'uh oh' to 'oh shit'

"Hey Jamesie! Look who we ran into!"

Damn you Sirius

Just my luck, the one time I skip out on my prefect duties and I meet the Head Boy

Bleeding marvellous

Potter narrowed his eyes at Tristan and I

"Jamesie, we have a dilemma, Tristan here has the hots for the lovely Vanessa, so being the beloved quidditch captain and esteemed Head Boy, do think you could arrange some alone time for them?"

Potter relaxed a bit

"I'll see what I can do"

Oh that would be good, meanwhile I can goad both of them into admitting they like each other

I couldn't help but grin at him

"What are you doing here Evans? All the prefects are supposed to help with decorations tonight"

I was caught

"Well… er … I actually have permission from Amy, didn't she tell you?"

Potter's eyes flashed

"No, she didn't and what exactly do you have permission for? To come to the kitchens and pinch food?"

Well someone isn't happy now are they?

I was tempted too ask 'what crawled up your arse and died?' but thought better of it, he already seems on the war path no need to push it

"Not exactly, but I think we'll just get what we came for and leave you in peace"

I hurried off to find the house elves

When I think about it what the hell was Potter doing down there any way? Shouldn't he be helping the prefects?

Not that I'm about to question him, I'm not exactly his favourite person and I doubt he would appreciate having to explain himself to me.

Once the house elves came back with my basket of food I quickly grabbed Tristan and made a run for with only a quick goodbye to the Marauders.

I could feel them looking after us, well glaring in Potter's case

"Geez someone has their panties in a twist"

Tri raised his eyebrows

"Who? Potter?"

"No, the dancing monkey!"

Tri smiled

"He's just a little disappointed"

"About what? Doesn't everything usually go his way?"

Damn that mysterious smile

"Not everything"

Oh please, what could Potter possibly be upset about? His Bertie Bott every flavour beans didn't have enough of his favourite flavour?

"Like what?"

"Well lets just say things are exactly going his way"

Oh the poor thing, he must not have gotten as many Slytherins with his last prank as he would have liked

Poor petal

rolls eyes

What a prat

I had to get Rhi to help me up the stairs with the basket it was so heavy, Tristan just plopped it down and ambled off in hopes of not seeing Nessa so soon after the arrangement made in the kitchens

Half way through our merry making there was a knock on the door, followed by numerous hollers of "Come in!"

"Is Lily here?"

I was at the top of a ladder in a rather awkward position trying to wrap tinsel around the curtain rods

"er… yeah, what can I do for you?"

I twisted around and regained my balance, I recognised the speaker as Samantha Briggs, a third year

"Oh hey Sam, would you like to come in? You can hang out if you like"

She smiled shyly

"Really? Thanks Lily!" with excitement on her innocent face, she then sobered up "But that's not why I came up here, James Potter is at the bottom of the girl's staircase and says he wants to talk to you"

The whole room went quite

I cocked my head to one side

"Did he say what about?"

"No, he just asked if someone could go get you"

Weird...

"Okay, Rhi can you finish with this piece of tinsel, see you all in a second"

The room burst to life as I shut the door, each one of occupants coming up with their own theory on why the Head Boy wants to see me.

Ugh! The gossip queens will get some thing juicy out of that...

When I went down stairs Potter was waiting for me, I met him with a curious look on my face

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, you know how you owe me a favour?"

I was confused for a second

Favour? What favour?

Then I remembered, the astronomy homework… ugh, I just realised why I buried that incident in the back of my mind….

Bloody Black and Nadia Stevens – Ewwwwwwwwww

"Right, yes, the favour"

"So you'll do something for me then"

Well I can't very well refuse now can I

"Er, I guess"

He grinned

"Great, wait here"

"But wait, what do I have to do?"

My question fell on deaf ears, Potter was halfway up the boys stairs

So here I am waiting for Potter to come back from where ever…

* * *

You know what, you lot put me in a permanent ecstatic mood! I even did my chores without complaint; my mum was shocked as anything. Thank you sooooo very much to every one who read and reviewed, I think I got about 39 reviews! That is a damn lot of reviews! Well I am very sorry for such a long wait we were away much longer than expected

**Tell me what YOU want the favour to be?**

You never know I may just listen

A few things people have pointed out:

1) **In your description of the characters you forgot Daniel!** – Oops! I didn't mean to, I swear! I could just leave this all to your imaginations but I suppose I had better full fill my duty as the author. He is tallish, about 6ft, give or take a couple of inches, very fit from quidditch, has a proportional build, grey eyes (I'm making them a family trait) and dirty blonde hair

2) **80's, Britain, Disney, Wizards Some how they don't all work** – This story is actually set in the 70's and Disney had been well established for quite a few years, famous all over the world for hisadvances in animation. Lily is a muggle born so it does actually make sense that she has heard of Disney, but thank you for the query

Also thank you for pointing out my spelling and grammar mistakes, it keeps me on my toes

Okay well thanks to all the following reviewers:

**Vanessa – Black and Zabini**

**Jensnuffles**

**Mello80**

**Ocupied Neptune**

**Annmarie Aspasia**

**Erm**

**Blink182rox**

**Teenbibliophile12**

**Arianna**

**l.young**

**3broomstix**

**SlippersRfuzzy**

**Clear Roe**

**Katie**

**Randomfrizzhead**

**Missmcweir**

**MissMyrtle360**

**Cestey**

**Lyz**

**Joou Himeko Dah**

**Groovy Bananas**

**Angel girl xxx**

**PrincessJulie-Potter**

**Mandi McCall**

**Me**

**Aleana**

**Dobby grl**

**Fille-chica143**

**Tania25**

**Chocolate**

**Drummer girl90**

**Olivia**

**Anonymouse**

**Nimue88**

**Billy**

**Abay**

**Christina**

Thank you all again

Don't forget to…

**Tell me what YOU want the favour to be?**

And

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	21. More favours?

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**

**Thursday 2nd December – Transfiguration **

Potter's officially insane

Wait… _I'm_ officially insane

I think I've entered an alternate universe, where chocolate chip cookies don't exist

I mean seriously, I repaid my favour to Potter only to end up owing him another!

Sick and twisted bloody world

It was about 15 minutes later that Potter came back down the stairs carrying a blank piece of parchment and something tucked into his robes

I looked at him questioningly

He ignored my curious glance...

"Follow me"

Yes, sir!

Shall I lick the mud off your boots as well?

What does he think I am? A mindless groupie?

How about you tell where we're going first? That would be helpful…

"Er… Where to?"

He sighed

"Can't you just follow me and find out later?"

Like hell I can

"No"

He dragged me away from my favourite tradition for what exactly? Potter better explain if he expects me to repay the favour…

He turned around with an exasperated look

"Why do you have to be so difficult?"

Why do you have to be such an arrogant, over bearing wanker?

"Just tell me where we're going and what I have to do"

"The Library"

Well that's a start, but what exactly do I have to do?

"And?"

"I'll tell you later"

Ugh! And he calls me frustrating!?

Potter just walked off in the direction of the Library, leaving me to catch up with him

I was tempted to just turn right around, go back up to my dormitory and rejoin my happy little party but then decided that Potter would probably not appreciate this and would acquire an eve more negative attitude towards me.

So I scrambled through the portrait hole and jogged to catch up with Potter…

"So what exactly is it that you want me to do?"

He didn't even look at me

"I'll tell you when we get there"

Doesn't it make you just make you want to smack him one

"No tell me! I remember you said you wouldn't make do anything I didn't want to do"

Potter looked at me with this wolfish smile on his face

"Who says you won't want to do me this favour?"

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

Bloody hell!

My eyes went wide and I leaned away from him

Potter quickened his pace and left me to my thoughts

If that wasn't a suggestive question I have no idea what is, seriously it scared the bleeding daylights out of me

I kept to the safe distance of 2m behind him and avoided all forms of eye contact from then on

It was only my Gryffindor pride keeping me from running back to my dorm where there was plenty of friends and food

Courage had nothing to do with it, I was _not _put into Gryffindor for my bravery, it was the pride thing. My ego nudges me into doing almost anything to keep it from becoming a shrivelled up, meaningless little lump.

Potter was waiting for me at the entrance to the library, I was still quite wary of him but he just rolled his eyes at me when I gave him a weird look…

I followed him past the librarian, Madam Pince, who gave me a small smile, to the study area at the very back of the library. To my relief the other Marauders were waiting for us

I discreetly let out the deep breath I had been subconsciously holding, dreading what the hell it was Potter wanted

"What did you do to the poor girl James she looks like she's going to her death"

Okay, maybe I wasn't as discreet as I would have liked

"Nothing" He answered simply

Nah nothing, I was just wondering how well liquid shows up on my skirt for the sake of it, nothing at bloody all.

I gave him a filthy look

"Why am I here?"

Potter gave me that look again and opened his mouth to give another disgusting comment, I have no doubt in that

Thank Merlin Remus stepped in

"We need an alibi"

An alibi?

I raised my eyebrows

"Normally that's one of my jobs but some of the teachers, namely the Slytherin head of house, are getting a tad suspicious of me and my credibility"

I just looked at him

And I'm here because?

"And we decided that we needed a new accomplice, you happened to be the perfect candidate seeing as most of the teachers trust you and you actually owe James a favour"

Great, basically because I'm a geek I get sucked into this… Why couldn't I be more like Nessa? No teacher would ever trust her as far they could throw her

"So what do I do?"

Do I really want to know?

"Sit here with Remus for about an hour to an hour and a half, while we go do what it is we want to do"

That's not so bad… apart from the fact that Remus is a NOSY PRAT WITH A SUBSTANTIAL IQ!

Fantastic, I'm gonna be grilled by Mr Sensitive over here because I 'intrigue' him with my atrocious actions while helping the Marauders keep out of trouble while they reek havoc on some poor, unsuspecting individual

Bloody Fantastic this sucks

"What am I supposed to do for that prolonged period of time? Watch the Dust fairies mating dance?

They all just stared at me

I rolled my eyes

"You come up with some weird shit, but if that's what want…"

This coming from Star Boy, who throws spaghetti at the wall to see if he'll win the quidditch match

"Well what am I suppose to say if a teacher turns up?"

"Say you're doing home work"

Thanks Peter, that would actually be plausible _if I had my books with me_

"Oh yes, silly me, why don't I just get my books out of my amazingly magical invisible satchel that follows me everywhere"

I glared

You know what the Marauders aren't as stupid as they seem, they actually took the hint and winced

"Here Lily you can borrow some parchment, ink and a quill of mine"

I looked around and sure enough all the marauders had their homework set up to look as though they had been diligently working away

I took the stationary from Remus and decided I may as well start that damned human transfiguration essay for McGonagall

"Fine" I huffed off to find a couple of books

When I got back Potter, Black and Peter had already left

"Do I even want to know what they're up to?"

Remus analysed me for a second

"Probably not"

Humf!

I was bored brainless and absolutely, outstandingly jealous of my friends, who were quite happy singing carols, putting up decorations and stuffing their faces

After a while Remus noticed my downcast look

"I assume you had something much better planned for this evening"

You don't say

"A bizillion times better, no offence meant of course "

"What would you have been doing? I noticed you weren't helping with the decorating"

Caught… again

"Fulfilling my annual tradition of decorating my dorm with my friends and I had permission from Amy to miss the prefect decorating tonight but I have to do it tomorrow"

"Well that does sound much more fun than wasting away next to me all evening"

He looks slightly put out

"Awww, Remus, I wasn't insulting your company, I'm just rather annoyed that I happen to be doing home work when I could very well be feasting on chocolate chip cookies"

That reminds me there had better be some cookies left when I get back or the festive season will be kicked off with a rather fantabulous mass execution

I went back to my work

Not that I did any work, I basically doodled little pictures of holly, bobbles and shining stars

Until I couldn't take it any longer

"Oh my god! Who _cares _about human transfiguration? I mean seriously, do you actually need this in later life? I suppose if you were interested in being an Animagus then hey it's all good but for the rest of us it's pretty damn pointless! Though you may need to know about some of this stuff I find it just so damn boring"

Remus lifted his brows

"Feel better?"

I was breathing deeply

"Surprisingly yes"

Damn it! What an out burst! I think I blew a fuse!

"What was that about my needing to know some of this?"

I stiffened

Crapolla

I couldn't keep my big mouth shut now could I?

"I… um …er … I… uh mean – "

My hands got all sweaty from the pressure

"Don't worry Lily I figured you worked it out, though I just have to ask if you have shared your little revelation with anyone?"

Relief swept through me

I shook my head

I haven't told a soul

Not even my owl Riley who I tell absolutely everything because he can't tell anyone… well no one who could possible be understood by a human being... if he can understand me at all that is

"No, I swear I haven't told anyone"

"Thank you, and thank you for staying my friend even though you know the truth"

I crumpled my forehead

"Why wouldn't I? You're the same person, the fact that you happen to turn into a slightly less pleasant form once a month doesn't really faze me seeing as our whole dorm does that"

Remus chuckled

"Thank you for comparing my lunar problems to the female menstrual cycle"

"Hey! Be grateful it's for only one night! We have to put up with a whole week and PMS! You got off lightly…"

He beamed at me…

"Well that puts it all into perspective"

"So it should, I'd hate to see you in a Total Perspective Vortex, you'd be gone in seconds"

I got another odd look

"You know, your eccentric train of thought makes you incredibly endearing"

I'm still trying to workout if that was a compliment or an insult

Maybe it's best if I just leave it completely alone

"What's it like turning into a ferocious monster once a month? We can compare notes"

Another bright smile

At least I can make him smile

"It's so-so, cravings, pains, back aches"

I gave him a sympathetic look

"I know what you mean, those pineapple juice and mei goreng cravings really get me, though you should try applying heat for the cramps and back ache, it helps heaps"

"I'll keep that in mind"

We fell into silence once again

"So Lily have resolved any of your outstanding issues yet?"

I groaned

"No! Though Black has finally shut up about the whole boyfriend thing, thank Merlin, since the quidditch match…"

"Ah yes, when you and James made his face indistinguishable from mouldy pizza"

I laughed

"Yeah, but what's up with that?"

Remus looked at me searchingly

"Up with what?"

"Potter, one second he is a perfectly nice human being helping me rearrange Reggie's face, the next he's jerk of the month following me around with death glares"

Remus kept his expression neutral

"I wouldn't say it's that bad, he has the same intentions behind his actions"

I was not at all swayed from my stance

"Really? You try being on the end of one of his glares, not a favourable place to be I can tell you! As for his intentions, what exactly are they? Preservation of stress ball victim?"

Remus was about to answer but I kept going

"I swear that boy has split personality disorder, do you think they could help him in St Mungo's or would he have to be sent to some screwed up muggle psychiatrist? You never know it could do wonders for him. They say this disorder results from suppressed desires, do you have any idea what desires Potter is suppressing?"

I looked at Remus inquisitively wide eyed

Let's see Mr. Cool deal with that

"I'm not even going to comment"

If you can't beat 'em, confuse the heck out of 'em

"We're back, but we saw Fogarty heading this way so if we could all just act like we're working that would be good"

I glared at Black as I went back to taking random facts about human transfiguration down

Do you think McGonagall would let me do my assignment on werewolves? I know it's more Defence Against the Dark Arts but it has to do with transfiguration mainly. Though I suppose it could be seen as natural transfiguration…

"POTTER! BLACK!"

Oooh! Fogarty looks a little peeved

"Take down those idiotic mistletoe before I give you two months worth of detention"

I looked at the Marauders

Their innocent looks are firmly in place

"But sir we've been here all evening!"

Pft! Sirius couldn't pull off an innocent act if he was Shirley Temple

"It's true sir, I've been with them the whole time"

"Lupin don't start, I've heard enough of your testimonies to last me well into my next life time"

He's gone red!

"Professor we've been here for the last two hours, I don't know what's happened but it couldn't possibly be Potter or Black"

All five males turned to me in surprise

"Is that you Miss Evans?"

"Yes sir"

"And you say these boys have been here since 7:30?"

If you say so...

"Correct sir, they were helping me"

"What with may I ask?"

Bollocks

"My human transfiguration assignment, Potter and Black are two of the best in the school at Transfiguration so I was entailing their help"

I showed him my random notes, knowing full well that the bloke is so blind he couldn't make head nor tale of them. Luckily I had just added a diagram so it looked even better

"Very good Miss Evans, keep up the good work"

He turned to leave and I let out a relieved sigh

"Miss Evans, what type of human transfiguration are you doing?"

Bollocks

Bollocks

Bollocks

"Er… Animagus!"

"Very good, if you need help at all with the potion component don't hesitate to ask"

I nodded

Thank god he's blind, if he had seen the colour of my face he would have known there was something up

This is why I believe I now live in an alternate universe, I managed to pull off lying to a teacher, when normally I find it hard to lie to my pillow

"So we're the best in the school are we?" Smiled Black arrogantly

I rolled my eyes

"I have no idea actually, I made that up"

Oh poor Star Boy doesn't like that

"Never mind Padfoot, I'm sure you'll find someone else to stroke your ego"

Black pouted

"You're pretty good at the whole 'creative answers thing"

I carried on packing up

"An over active imagination" I answered nonchalantly

"Oh crap, now I have to do Animagus for my project"

Peter was rather perplexed by this

"Why?"

_Why?!_

"Because Fogarty will go tell McGonagall about this little meeting, damn it"

They didn't understand my predicament

"And this is bad how?"

"It's bad because I am gigantically, colossally awful at Transfiguration and now I have to do a2 rollassignment on Animagus! Could my night get any worse?"

I hate this! Damn McGonagall and her sodding assignments

"Jamsie here could help"

Yep, my night can get worse. That one statement is what nightmares are made of

I looked at them suspiciously

Bloody Star Boy and his bloody loud mouth

"I did this tonight so I would no longer be indebted to Potter and now you want me to owe him _again_?"

"Well not meaning to boast" snort from Remus "But James and I happen to be the best at transfiguration and I'm sure that the wonderful Head Boy won't mind upholding his responsibilities of helping younger students"

I looked at Potter

He seemed eager to help, a little too eager

"Fine, whatever" I snapped "If you'll excuse me I have to go convince half the Gryffindor female population I was _not_ in a broom closet all evening"

Believe me that is exactly what I was doing

Dana and Bridget refused to believe that I could be gone for so long just to sit around doing homework and making excuses

But this sucks I now have Potter helping me with my assignment

This is definitely an alternate dimension

I was doing homework instead of listening to mindless gossip and hanging holly

Being a werewolf is not all that different from being female

Star Boy was actually being sensible and helpful

Potter was willing to help

and there are…no…sodding…cookies!

* * *

Thank you very much to all my lovely reviewers! Don't worry the next chapter will be up in a couple of days it's typed, been to the beta and just waiting to be uploaded!

Thank you to:

**Annmarie Aspasia**

**Tikvah Ariel**

**Teenbibliophile12**

**Ariana Leciav**

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**Groovy Bananas**

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**Tania25**

And a colossally humungous thank you to my beta Cait, who I would be lost with out. Thanks Cait for reading, reviewing and fixing all my despicable mistakes

Now I just have to ask

**Who do YOU think Lily will be going to The Annual Christmas Ball with?**

Please remember to answer and….

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	22. Ludicrous!

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Monday 6th December – History of Magic **

Ludicrous…

That is the only word I can use to describe my life at the moment.

On Thursday I spent my whole afternoon putting up _more_ decorations in the halls, I also had to bewitch the suites of armour to sing the carols.

I swear if I catch Peeves putting in anymore of his own more _imaginative_ lyrics he'll never put gum in another keyhole again…

Though in the end I struck a deal with him, he could pelt bobbles at people and sing crude songs if the Slytherins were his victims. He only agreed if I promised to provide said bobbles…

I was having a wonderful time of course , singing away to "Deck the halls with bows of holly, Reggie Black is a Molly", Peeves is actually quite talented in song writing

I would never have come up with that, but seeing as 'Molly' is 17th centaury slang for a cross dresser it's not really surprising.

Then Potter showed up…

At first I didn't notice him, Peeves was quite happy floating at the top of the stairs screeching away, chucking bobbles at by passing students (Who I'm not sure were Slytherins but he was leaving me alone so I wasn't really bothered) and I was humming along to his tune while I put up the tinsel he just tried to strangle some sixth year with.

"Interesting partnership you have going"

I jumped so high I almost fell off my ladder.

Bloody hell!

Talk about sneaky!

I regained my composure before answering…

"Partnership?"

Potter looked over at Peeves

"He's usually throwing things at the prefects"

Yes, I had that unfortunate experience last year…

"We struck a deal"

Peeves must have heard Potter because he turned around, his little black eyes lit up with mischievous when he saw who it was

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Potter the Rotter"

Potter smirked

"Nice to see you too Peeves, do you remember what we discussed last night?"

Peeves evil grin just got bigger

"You know those firsties really could do with a festive fright!"

And he swooped off before I could stop him

I bit my lip worrying what mischief Peeves could possibly reek on the unsuspecting first years.

Potter seemed to read my mind

"Don't worry he'll just give them a good scare"

A _good_ scare?

Is there such a thing?

I looked at Potter disbelievingly before going back to my decorating.

"Where should I put these wreaths of holly?"

He's helping?!

The world has gone wacko

I raised my eyebrows at him

He just raised his right back

"On some of the doors"

"You sure Goldstein won't mind?"

Damn, I forgot about him, the nasty tempered muggle studies professor who has a unhealthy dislike for the holidays…

"Does it matter? He'll get over it eventually"

Potter grinned at me.

"I'd like to see him when he first discovers it though"

I smiled as well, that would be worth watching. First he'd go all splotchy, then red, then scarlet, then almost purple before exploding at whoever happens to be closest to him.

I couldn't resist, I had to add the mistletoe, Goldstein would totally lose it over that

Potter cracked up and I couldn't help but chuckle

Apparently mistletoe is inappropriate in a school as it encourages romantic relationships between students and contradicts the schools one metre between opposite sexes policy.

Don't ask, that rule only exists to pacify the likes of Goldstein…

I spent the rest of the afternoon hanging decorations with Potter, we actually got along quite well, even managed to make up another couple of verses to Peeves' carols

See it's ludicrous that I actually enjoyed spending time with Potter

Another ludicrous situation that I seemed to get myself into was a run in with two of my absolute favourite people who hold me close to their hearts

… if you follow the saying 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' that is

Finicky Phinella and Merry Rosemary

I was coming back from the owlery, I had just sent Riley off with a letter to my mother which took all my strength not to just write "_sod off_" on a slip of paper and leave it at that. Instead I wrote a letter that mocked my mother's style of beating around the bush while subtly insulting the hell out of her

I am quite proud of that letter actually…

Anyway, so there I am dawdling along thinking how pretty those big black storm clouds actually are when **bam**! I run into the dream team.

I felt like Dorothy skipping down the yellow brick road in her ruby slippers only to bump onto the original wicked witches of the west and east…

"Lily!" They squealed

My eyes widened as I tried to find an escape

I failed miserably on that one

"Er…Hi?"

They both ran up to me.

Figures these two are friends, they are pretty much alike – arrogant, opinionated and just plain nasty pieces of work.

"How are you? You know I don't think we've spoken in such a long time, we'll just have to catch up"

Really? You don't say? Maybe because you have never given me anything but glares since third year!

I stared at them wild eyed as they each took one of my arms and led me down the corridor

"Er…"

"You know Ella and I were just talking about you! We thought it would be nice if we have lunch together at the Gryffindor table"

"Er… ok, um… Phinella –"

"Please call me Ella"

Okay….

"Right, Ella, I'm sorry about your private potion project, I really didn't mean to smash it"

She got a cold look in her eye

"Don't worry Lily! It was nothing, I just whipped up another one" she said airily "Now you have to tell us what is going on between you and James"

Hey? What?

"James? James who?"

Phinny and Rosie exchanged a quick glance

"_James Potter_ of course silly!" Rosemary supplied happily

Oh dear lord

"Rosemary, no off – "

She slapped my arm lightly

"Don't be silly Lily, call me Rose"

Ugh, kill me now

"Look Rose, Ella, there is nothing between me and P –"

"Oh look there's some free seats at the Gryffindor Table right near the Marauders!" Phinny squealed

Sure enough we were at the great hall and there was three seats just waiting for us to sit in right next to the Marauders

Oh. My. Giddy. Aunt.

As they marched me down the isle, Dana and Bridget saw me both giving me identical 'Have you gone absolutely troppo' looks

'Help' I mouthed

They were both in shock at seeing me in the arms of two people who usually can't stand me, believe me the feeling is mutual

Nessa, Rhi, Cam and Tristan finally looked up to see what the twins were staring at, needless to say they were all gob smacked at the company I was in.

I kept sending looks that said 'Help me' to my friends until I was forced to sit in my seat, thankfully I was furthest away from the Marauders…

Phinny went round the other seat while Rosie kept me sitting there by keeping a tight hold on my arm.

I finally gave up and started loading potato bake on to my plate.

I went into sulk mode…

"Hey James, Sirius! Funny seeing you here" Rosie giggled

I had to see this…

The Marauders all stopped what they were doing, mouths full of sprouts and chicken, and stared at Rosie

Potter swallowed

"Er…Hi Rosemary"

Rosie flashed him a smile

"How many times do you have to tell you to call me Rose"

"At least once more" Interjected Black

I was shaking with silent laughter covering my hand with my mouth to stop the sound of my laughter

Rosie was laying on the charm so thick I thought I was gonna need to climb on the table soon to avoid it

What made it even better was that the Marauders simply ticked her off and seemed extremely apprehensive about talking to her

I really did try to keep my laughter under control but I ended up bent over with tears in my eyes

Phinella spotted me first

"Are you all right Lily?"

Damn, that got the attention of all six people in front of me

I wiped the smile off my face and sobered up

"Oh it's nothing, a bit of …um… potato just went down the wrong way is all" I said wiping away the tears

My smile was still threatening to take over my face

I chanced a look at the Marauders and caught Black's eye, they where twinkling with amusement…

I couldn't control myself so I turned away to smirk into my potato bake

Phinny and Rosie just narrowed their eyes at me before turning back to the Marauders

Again this is ludicrous, I'm having lunch with Rosemary MacDonald, Phinella Gooseberry and the Marauders…

Is there anything worse?

"Have you met my friend Phinella Gooseberry? She's in Ravenclaw"

"Please, call me Ella, all my friends do"

I couldn't get rid of the damned smirk so I chanced a look at my friends who all had grins on their faces, except Rhi who gave me a sympathetic look before a small smile appeared

I glared at them and was about to ask them to come and get me when I was interrupted

"Don't you think Lily?"

This brought me back to reality and facing a quite pissed off Rosemary MacDonald

"Sorry Rosemary I must have drifted off, what did you say?"

Her eyes narrowed at me

"Rose" she growled "And we were just discussing what the latest style of dresses were, since the ball's only two weeks away" she continued in a lighter tone

My disgust must have shown…

Yep, it just got worse

"Lily's not exactly fond of dresses and balls, are you?"

Thanks Peter

"Er… noooo, they're not really my thing"

What an understatement that is!

"But the sweet heart neck line is sooo in fashion right now! And you really can't go past organza, I mean it's like sooo silky and shimmery and stuff!" I said in a falsetto voice doing my best impression of my sister that I could manage

"You're sooo right Lily! Why I was just looking at this gorgeous turquoise dress the other day"

"Thanks _Ella_"

I rolled my eyes at the Marauders as they went back to engaging Potter and Black in meaningless conversation

I glanced at my friends and sent them an SOS look

There is only so much I can take of Phinny and Rosie

They just smiled and waved…

"Excuse me _Rose_, but I have to go talk to Dana for a second"

Woah! And I thought Potter was bad with the Death glares

"Don't be too long"

She pursed her lips as I left but turned back to Potter with one final flash of her eyes

I hurried over to my friends and let out a long breath when I sat down next to the twins.

"Having fun?" inquired Cam

"So much"

They couldn't hold it any longer, the whole lot of them burst out laughing, the rest of the table looked at us to see what was so funny.

I could feel the glares from Phinny and Rosie…

"Ugh! Shut up and find a way to get me out of there!"

Rhi settled down first

"What do you want us to do?"

Create a distraction, ask me to go to the Library, remind me of a non existent tutoring session, I don't care just come up with something!

"Anything that will get me out of the clutches of the carnivorous air heads"

I smiled sweetly before walking back to my death

"Oh Lily, don't you think that James and Sirius are just marvellous fliers"

Ugh! Phinella please, flattery will get you nowhere and those two certainly don't need to be reminded of their god like status

"I guess so"

Phinella's eyes bugged out of her head

"You guess? Lily have you _seen_ them fly" Rose asked indignantly

Geez this really gets old fast, Rhi hurry up

"On numerous occasions and Potter put a little bit of effort in next time will you, the last game was shocking"

Phinny and Rosie looked scandalised

"Lily!"

Black was smirking while Potter looked mildly amused, Peter and Remus snorted into their lunches

Thank god Nessa showed up

"Hey Lily"

I turned to her with a brilliant smile on my face

"Hey Nessa, sit down"

She glared at me

"Uh… no thanks, I just came to remind you that we were supposed to go study for charms"

I feinted surprise

"Oh sure, well er… bye"

Peter and Remus stood up quickly

"Hey Lily wait for me, remember you were going to help me with the Protean charm, I still don't get it"

"Yeah and I'll come with you, I have to revise for that charms test next week"

Looks like Remus and Peter like Rosie and Phinny as much as I do

"Okay, well bye guys!" I said with a little finger way

Phinny and Rosie smiled politely while Black and Potter gave us dirty looks for deserting them…

Needless to say I was ecstatic once we made it to the entrance hall.

I think they suite each other, Potter and Rosie, Phinny and Black

Phinella Black actually sounds astoundingly good

You know Rosie is exactly Potter's type, blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs. If it wasn't for the repulsive look on Potter's face and Rosie's eagerness I would say she was the mystery girl

That leads me onto my quest to find the mystery girl

I believe Tristan held to his word and made Cam promise not to give me any more information. I haven't got one skerrick of data on this girl since our fateful trip to the kitchens

So I decide to do a bit of investigation of my own

I started with the fifth years because they were the easiest to approach. I sought out the Gryffindor fifth year gossips Anna and Judy. Good grief! They could give Sophie Baxter a run for her money!

They gave me a list of girls who fitted my requirements

Of course they wanted to know why I was asking for this, always on the look out for a good story. I told them I was trying to figure out the crush of a friend. Of course I use the term 'friend' very loosely so technically it wasn't lying

Before I left though they asked one more question that had me wanting to scream

"Is it true you spent Wednesday evening in a broom closet with James Potter?"

I almost died, though my blood pressure did double and my face turned crimson, I politely told them that I did no such thing and walk away quickly before I lost it

Damn Dana and Bridget, damn them to hell and back

I went and found the one person I was certain knew every detail of the relationships with in Hogwarts walls: Sophie Baxter

She probably already knows who it is that Potter is after, scratch that, she _does_ know, I just have to get the information out of her without raising suspicion

The thing is I didn't actually get to _say_ anything

Sophie was in a rather depressed mood and was elated when she found a sympathetic ear to prattle to, a.k.a. me! Seems she's having withdrawals from Potter. She wouldn't stop rambling on about how wonderful he is and how he'll forever have a piece of her heart

Get it together woman! You were with him for one bleeding week! You can't form that strong a relationship in only seven days! I mean for Merlin's sake grow a sodding backbone!

Of course I didn't actually say any of this to her because she was already close to hysterics and that would have just sent her over the edge. I just sat there while she cried on my shoulder and babbled in my ear. I offered a tissue when the snot became to much

The response was an enthusiastic "Thank you Lily! You're such a wonderful friend"

I only escaped when Potter himself came back from quidditch, as soon as Sophie saw him she burst into hysterical sobs and ran up the girls staircase, giving me one last hug before she went

Potter sent me a bewildered look and I just shrugged

Though this searching for the mystery girl thing is going to be harder than expected. I went to double check a name with Anna and she gave me a completely new list! Apparently the fifth years change their romantic partners more frequently than I change my under wear!

Ludicrous

That's my new favourite word for my life and everything in it

Bloody Ludicrous!

* * *

Thankyou to everyone who read, reviewed and just plain took a gander!

You are all still keeping me inline by pointing out all my miserable little mistakes that I make when I do last minutes changes, thanks for that!

Thank you to my Beta Cait who has to put up with me and my shocking writing skills

Thank you to:

**Annmarie Aspasia **

**Ariana Leciav**

**Dobbygrl**

**Aleana **

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**Cestesy **

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**Abay**

**Persona **

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**Fuzzy **

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**Lyz**

Please remember to….

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	23. Letters and Lemmings

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Thursday 9th December – Defence Against the Dark Arts **

_Are we supposed to be taking notes? – LE_

**I have no idea but Count Vlad up there is getting way to into this understanding of other peoples thing – VH**

_I know, the hair gel's freaking me out _

**Look at the collar on that cape! So much for destroying stereotypes, he looks like Dracula **

_Bloody weirdo _

**Hey Banana…**

_Uh oh, I'm not gonna like this, you never call me that unless I'm not gonna like something_

**Well I was just wondering what you got up to the other night with Potter, I mean really got up too, you don't have to hold back**

What makes you think I was holding back the first time?

**Oh please Lily, no one walks out on their favourite Christmas tradition to sit around doing their homework, talking to Remus lupin… especially when the incredibly dishy Head Boy has called them down from their dorms specially **

_Well that's just what I did! And since you think Potter's so amazingly hot, you go after him_

**I admit he's a stud muffin but he's not my type, just tasty eye candy, even you can't deny that**

_And I don't deny it, he is one fine specimen of the male species, it's his personality that's less desirable… his ego takes up more space than Asia _

**Sure, sure, you don't have to contend with personality or ego when you're taking part in tonsil hockey you know**

_Eeeeeeeeewwww! Nessa that's revolting and a horrible way of looking at things, but since that's your perspective why aren't you chasing Potter around again?_

**He's not my type **

_Hmmm… I don't suppose you prefer blonde hair and sea green eyes, now do you?_

**Well I suppose so**

_Ha! Any blonde haired, sea green eyed quidditch player in particular? _

**What are you getting at?**

_Tristan_

**What about him?**

_Don't give me that, you like him!_

**I do not! **

_Oh come on Nessa, not even just a little bit _

**Nuh uh**

_Bummer, Tri will be disappointed _

**What?!**

_Well, he sort of likes you, by sort of likes you I mean full blown, out of this world crush on you… and I am not going to make it to my 17th birthday once he finds out I said something _

Are you serious?

_Uh huh, it's a pity you don't like him, he'll be crushed _

**Well don't tell him I don't like him **

_Why not? Once I tell him he can get over you, so really it's for the best if I tell him _

**No!**

_I really should, it's what's best for Tri_

**NO!!!**

_Well why not then?_

**Because…**

_What a an accurate argument you've won me over, now really why not?_

**Because… well I sort of like him **

I raised my eyebrows at her 

She just gave me the death glare

_Fine I won't tell any one _

**Good, crap here comes twizledick to inspect our notes **

That's the first part of my mission completed 

Now I just have to get Tri to admit his feelings, he'll be a lot harder to crack though

Ah well better go Vlad wants us to show him our notes

* * *

**Common Room **

Will finally sent me an owl today, but being the useless being that he is, he forgot to send it till after breakfast so it came in halfway through my game of chess with Tri. I was quite put out. I had been building up a conversation that would allow me to get information about Nessa out of him

But no! Bloody Meridoc has to choose right then to come busting into the common room

Will had a bit of a Lord of the Rings obsession when he got him, so we named him after the hobbit Merry

Since it was peak hour in the common room many people were pointing at Merry, a couple of third years let him in and where cooing over him and giving him a pet. I gave him 'the look' and he stopped showing off long enough to give me the damn letter

My reaction once I had read the letter:

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

I slightly upset by the information my brother provided

Tri grinned at me and asked what the matter was

I snapped out of my trance

I haven't actually told my friends about the whole coming out thing for fear of the twins nominating themselves as my stylists for the event or worse still them wanting to be invited

I gave a fake smiled

"Problem? No problem! Why would you think there's a problem?"

Bollocks

That was a shocking lie, anyone could see through that, I mean my voice was about three octaves too high and I said all that rather fast

Tristan raised his eyebrows as I got up so I could write back

Actually I wanted to be alone so I could wallow in self pity and become devastatingly depressed in private

I was about to make my way into the depths of despair when Mikey showed up

"Hey Lily Billy, why the long face? You look as though you've been sentenced to detention with Filch, you know the one with the whips and chains"

I screwed up my nose

"Wait! That didn't come out like it was supposed to"

I chuckled a bit; trust Mikey to be able to make me smile

"Well it made you smile, but you have a sick sense of humour"

Sick? I'd say my humour was just plain dark

"What can I say, I have a twisted and perverted mind, but I wish I just had detention with Filch"

Mikey was shocked

"Nothing can be that bad!"

Oh yes it can, you've just never had to deal with my mother before…

I sighed resigned to exploring just how deep the depths of despair are

Mikey wasn't giving up yet though, oh no, he just called in reinforcements

"Hey Charlie! Get over here"

Oh no! Two of them!

Charlie ambled over to the darkest corner of the common room where I was reclining in a large over stuffed arm, very elegantly might I add, legs over one arm while I'm upside down trying to forget my future predicament by flooding my brain with blood, hoping against that hope I can find some way out of the pickle I some got myself into

"It wasn't a detention with Filch that had her howling"

Charlie grinned

"Nah, she probably just realised how outstandingly bad I am at charms"

What he only got an Exceeding Expectations on his last assignment instead of an Outstanding?

Terrible effort that

I chucked my letter from Will at him

He whistled once he finished

"Your mum really is set on this coming out thing"

I don't mind Charlie reading it since he's read every other letter

I raised my head and gave him the 'No! Really?' look

"Hey Mikey what about we go play exploding snap and leave Lily to mope in peace"

I smiled at him thankfully

"Okay, bye Lily Billy, hope you feel better"

"Don't let them get you down" were Charlie's parting words

Pft! Give me some happy pills and they won't be able to reach me on cloud nine

Maybe I could get Nessa to cast a cheering charm. No that wouldn't work, they wear off and then I would be even more depressed

Fine I will just have to reply to Will

_Will,_

_What the hell do you mean she has a program? If she thinks I'm about to follow some regimented schedule, the old bat has another thing coming! But thanks about the heads up about the hair appointment and the beauty parlour thingy, I will not come out looking like Tuna if it kills me!_

_About this 'escort' thing, can't I just take you? Pretty, pretty please! I really don't want o go with some random. All right so Vivian and Harold are okay people but that doesn't mean their son is! I know you think I should give him a chance but come on, her highness has been hinting about making two families one and how her and Vivian would love to call each other family. Please try to make her see sense, she'll listen to you, you're her favourite! You know how she feels about my out spoken-ness_

_Please see what you can do about that _

_Tuna's not happy with me? Why isn't that surprising, I suppose she feels that mother dearest is spending way too much of her time on the disturbed younger daughter. Tell her she can have as much of the old bat's attention as she wants, in fact I would appreciate it if she brought up plans for the wedding. That way the wicked witch would be far to busy worrying about flower arrangements and bridesmaid dresses to bother with me_

_I hope you're doing okay, you can laugh at me all you like but it'll be your turn next. You'll be turning 21 soon, Mother will be taking you bride shopping, think of all those fashion shows you're going to have to sit through with Tuna and the old bat before you laugh at me buddy_

_Tell Harry I said hello and give him a big hug for me _

_Thanks again for the warning _

_Love always_

_Anna _

As you can see I have a few issues to work out with my mother and my loving sister but I think I shall take action and actively shove these problems into the back of my mind where they will stay in the archive reserved for things that I will deal with at a later, undecided, date…

If I don't forget about them first

I've said it before –

Lily Evans: Queen of Denial

Cleopatra sounds just as good

* * *

**Saturday 11th December – Library **

You know I think I may have found an incredibly talented partner in crime

Having James Potter for an older brother has definitely rubbed off on Charlie

Dana and I finally decided on a form of payback for Matt Jefferies

Psychological damage and mortifying embarrassment

We thought that was perfectly acceptable seeing as that's what Bridget had to go through, well maybe on a lesser scale but still he hurt Bridget so we hurt him

Our philosophy is not an eye for an eye but _a head for an eye _

First of all we found out about Jefferies phobias

Turns out he's deathly afraid of rodents

Oh the possibilities that spring to mind!

Well we decided to go with the more obscure way of using this silly little fear against him, and decided to use Potter's suggestions of embarrassing the hell out of him

Everyone knows the theory about how lemmings mass suicide every year by running themselves off a cliff – whether they believe it or not is a different story

Dana and I decided to use this little piece of knowledge

We researched all the spells we would need diligently

But Rhi, Nessa and Dana decided they would leave the actual magic up to me because for some reason magic is the one thing my klutziness doesn't affect

But I needed a little help from my good friend Charlie

I talked him into it by telling him that I would talk to Flitwick about his outstanding progress…when I think about he didn't actually need that much persuading

It was the start of lunch and the hall was completely packed with students when a piercing scream resounded in the halls and shocked the majority of the student body

Dana, Rhi, Nessa, Charlie and I all slipped into the mass of students entering the great hall as quietly and discreetly as possibly earning suspicious looks from Bridget, Tristan, Cam and Mikey

The screaming continued and all the students watched the top of the stairs wide eyed waiting for a sign of what was happening

A couple of seconds later Matt Jefferies appeared at the top of the stairs completely white and shaking, starkers except for his boxers with little snitches flying all over them, he looked like he had Voldemort on his tale

"Lemmings!" He screamed "Hundreds of them, they're looking for somewhere to mass suicide, they want me to join them!"

I had my knuckles in my mouth to stop the laughter that was bubbling in my throat

"They're after me I swear!"

We then heard a faint squeaking sound, Jefferies went rigid and his eyes got really big looking down the corridor

"They're after me!" He wailed

He let out a very girly scream before pelting down the stairs, followed by hundreds of lemmings squeaking and squealing their way down the stairs

I thought they looked quite cute

Their fat furry little bodies swayed and wobbled as they scuttled down the stairs

Mrs Norris looked as though her worst nightmare had come true as she ran to hide behind Filch

The lemmings streamed into the great hall to form a sort of sea around the barricade that Jefferies had built around himself under the Hufflepuff table

The squeaking and squealing went on as the lemmings tried to get to Jefferies, a few did and he screamed bloody murder

Of course to everyone else they looked like your average, everyday, cute, fluffy lemming but to Jefferies they looked to be the size of barn cats and had teeth and claws a foot long

Though I heard some one asking him later how he knew they wanted him to join their mass suicide. Jefferies promptly answered that they told him so

We never put a spell on them to do that

Go figure

But the rest of the school thought it was rather hilarious that Jefferies was running from a bunch of innocent furry little hamster like creatures dressed only in his underwear

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he vanished the lemmings

"Could I please see Ms Evans and Mr Potter in my office after dinner please"

I smiled slightly

That man knows everything!

Potter was looking at Dumbledore as though he had gone made

"Yes professor" answered Charlie and I

Potter looked at us with his eyes popping out of his head

Once inside Dumbledore's office, Charlie and I took a seat

"That was very… interesting display earlier at dinner, I don't think Mr Jefferies will every get over his phobia of rodents"

We stayed silent and I bit my lip

Crappolla, I didn't think of that

"Though I must say it was quite a feat to conjure and charm so many animals"

He did the whole piercing stare thing, I swear that's where Remus learned it from

"I really should give you both detention for this little prank"

Silence still

Please, please, please don't let that be the case

"However I will let you both off with a warning and 20 points will be taken from Gryffindor"

Charlie and I were looking at our feet

"You may go"

I reached the door

"10 points will also be awarded to Gryffindor for your excellent charms work"

I quirked a small smile

"Well that wasn't so bad" Charlie finally said as we made our way back to the common room

Do even want to know what experience he is comparing it to?

"I've had much worse you know, mind you that was the time James and I tried to feed Casey Williams from Slytherin to the Giant Squid, we tied squid treats all over his body and dumped him into the middle of the lake"

I stared at him

"Dumbledore was rather unhappy about the whole thing"

Imagine that? He was upset because they committed attempted murder on a fellow student!

Dumbledore's an old fuddy duddy now ain't he?

I rolled my eyes

"I don't even want to know"

Charlie was rather unruffled by the whole thing, I however felt rather bad now about the lemming thing, not about the partially naked thing though, he was a complete wanker and deserved it

So here I am in the library trying to avoid doing my Transfiguration assignment that I now have to do on Animagus

It's true I do!

McGonagall told me during class Yogarty had talked to her about it and she thought it was excellent I was getting help from Potter and Black because it turns out they actually are quite gifted when if comes to transfiguration, especially Animagus

Bollocks!

I have no bleeding idea what I'm supposed to write about! Okay so people change themselves into animals big deal! I don't really care!

It's due Monday and I haven't even sodding started! How am I supposed to do a assignment that has to be two rolls of parchment long when I have no bloody idea about the concept?!

Ugh!

I need help!

I'm not going there with Black, if I asked him to help me with homework he would probably take it as a come on…

I suppose I should go find Potter and see if he'll help me

I think I saw him in the Charms section earlier, I'll go find him…

* * *

Hi everyone!I am on probation so i have to make this super, super quick. Thankyou to everyone who has reviewed, read, whatever. Super, super big thanks to Cait the wonderful beta

**Everyone choose a chapter and come up with a name for it**

Idecided that would make the titles a bit more interesting. I will change the chaoter titles to the most creative suggestions

Please remeber to..

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	24. Ice cream and Cookies

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**

**Sunday 12th/ Monday 13th December – Girls dorm **

It's sooooo late

But I finally finished my assignment, with an enormous amount of help from Potter

I'll give him that he knows his stuff…

On Saturday afternoon I did eventually find him in the charms section screened from view by the mountain of books he had been looking through revising for that test that Remus had been prattling about

"Er… excuse me, James"

He didn't hear me…

"James?"

No answer…

"James!"

True I was getting aggravated but honestly the boy is worse than I am

"Hey Potter!"

"What? Sorry did you say something"

Do not roll eyes

Do not roll eyes

Do _not_ roll eyes

Thank you! Geez what you have to do to get the blokes attention

Did I say something?

No, nothing, not a peep, I've just been trying to get you to answer we _for the last five minutes!_

Calm Lily, calm, you need to ask him for help, blowing up at him would not help your plight and would only make you a hypocrite

"Er… yes I was wondering if you could help we with that human transfiguration assignment for McGonagall because it's due on Monday and I sort of haven't even started…" I rambled while having a fascinating staring contest with the spot on the carpet

"Sure, just give me a second to get my stuff together"

I quickly pulled my head up and beamed at him

"Thank you so much, I'm just dreadful at the whole transfiguration thing"

He smiled warmly, a new expression for him

Potter read over the instruction notes I'd taken and then disappeared for about fifteen minutes returning with books I'd never even seen before

He must have charmed Madame Pince into letting us use the ones from the restricted section…

We were holed up in the transfiguration section for hours on end, we eventually got chucked out at 10:30 due to curfew

We even missed dinner!

We packed up all the books and transferred them all to the common room

My stomach gave a massive growl, it doesn't like being neglected especially in the form of food deprivation

Potter looked at me with raised eyebrows

I smile sheepishly

"My stomach doesn't like to miss meals"

Potter grinned

"Why don't we go get it some food then?"

I smiled and nodded

Once down in the kitchens I asked the house elves for some cottage pie, some apple pie and vanilla ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, some old English toffee ice cream and of course some pineapple juice

"Someone's hungry" Potter remarked

I raised an eyebrow

"What? You'd prefer I ate a small salad with some mini toast?"

He let out a laugh

"No! I think it's good you have an appetite"

"Me too! Now what are you having?"

Later on we got into a pointless argument over what tasted better:

**Pumpkin juice or Pineapple juice?**

"Don't be ridiculous, pumpkins taste awful even if they have a gallon of sugar mixed in with them!"

"I beg your pardon but pineapple juice has sugar and sweeteners in it too"

"Yes, but it tastes just as good unsweetened!"

"The fact of whether the juice is sweetened is not relevant! It's which one tastes better as it is!"

"Pft! You're just sore because pineapple juice is superior and tastes better whether it's sweetened or unsweetened"

"Pumpkin is still better"

"No it's not! I never had pumpkin juice until I came here and I'm bloody glad!"

"What?! A life without pumpkin juice? That's just sad"

"Not as sad as being dependent on pumpkin juice"

"Hey! I'm not dependent on it I just happen to like it immensely"

"You keep telling yourself that, why don't we just agree to disagree? Good, now try some cookies with old English toffee ice cream, tastes fabulous"

I shoved an ice cream smothered cookie into his mouth to shut him up

"See, doesn't it taste lovely? And here's some of your life saving pumpkin juice to wash it down with"

Potter took a gulp of juice

"That was a dirty trick!"

"Maybe, but it was a delicious dirty trick! And it shut you up"

"Oh so you think you won then?"

"Uh huh"

"Well you've go another thing co – "

"You have to try this apple pie, it's just excellent and the ice cream is incredibly creamy, don't you think?"

I shoved a piece of apple pie in his mouth

Potter glared at me

"What isn't it creamy?" I asked innocently

Once he swallowed he wasn't very happy

"Stop doing that!"

"What? I was just sharing with my fellow food critic, don't you want to be a food critic?"

"Evans" he growled

"Yes?"

"Try some pie"

He shoved a piece of pie in my face

"Prat, you missed my mouth and you wasted a really good piece of pie" I complained wiping apple pie off my face

"True that but I can always just get some more"

I narrowed my eyes

"Well you'll need some ice cream to go with it then won't you"

Before he knew what was happening I flicked some ice cream at him

"Why you little – "

I got him with ice cream again

"That's it, I declare war!"

An hour later we emerged from the kitchens covered from head to foot in cream, apple pie, ice cream and apricot tart

When I got back to my dorm Rhi was still up

She looked me over

"A disagreement about the supremacy of pumpkin juice got slightly out of hand" I offered

Rhi rolled her eyes

"I don't want to know"

Today Potter helped me again and we spent the day pouring over all those bloody books working out the intricacies of becoming an Animagus and the details of normal transformations

We missed lunch so Dana brought us up some sandwiches

When I thanked her she ducked her head down to me and whispered in my ear

"Someone's spending an awful lot of time with the delightfully dishy Head Boy" she said in a teasing sing song voice

I was shocked

I threw a bit of screwed up parchment at her

She just wiggled her eyebrows as she left

But for the majority of the time we were left in peace

I told Potter it was okay and that he could go study for charms but he wouldn't hear of it, he said that he would stick with me till it was finished

Good of him really, I ended up with a roll and half of parchment more than was required!

We just went down to the kitchens and had a late night snack

I ordered pineapple juice and looked at him challengingly

"Oh no, no way, I'm not getting into that argument again, we can just agree to disagree"

I grinned

"Glad you came round to my way of thinking"

He looked thoughtful

"Yeah, you were right about the cookies and ice cream thing. Hey Mint can we please have some chocolate chip cookies and some – what was it?"

"Old English toffee ice cream"

"Right and some old English toffee ice cream"

We spent about an hour eating our ice cream and cookies, mucking around and having a good laugh

He's not that bad I suppose, Potter that is, he can actually be quite nice… it helps that he's an absolute dish

* * *

**Saturday 18th December (Also known as the DAY OF DOOM) – Prefects' Bathroom **

Oh

My

God

I have been on diary probation…

Apparently since I started this 'infernal diary' I have not been nearly as 'interactive' with my friends as I should be. Of course it would have nothing to do with the fact that my workload has almost doubled this year with tutoring, patrols, assignments, no! It's all the bleeding diary's fault!

They're mad, they're all bloody mad…

Dana and Bridget confiscated it on Monday morning and because I was so tired from doing my assignment I wasn't able to do anything about it. But since today is D-Day, and yes I am comparing the ball to the Normandy landings – I don't believe I have a good chance of getting out alive, I was able to snitch it out of Dana's dresser and then snuck out while our dorm is in total shambles as the twins lose their heads over every little thing

I am at the present moment barricaded in the prefects' bathroom, hopefully I won't have to come out for a very long time.

For the last week I have been coping it from my friends because I spent so much time with Potter last weekend. Apparently we looked awfully cosy huddled up together with armchairs oh so close together.

Nutters!

We had to be that close so that Potter could explain what the hell I was suppose to write! Not that I'm complaining because I'm not! Potter actually smells very nice, like cinnamon and musk, excellent combination really…

Any way that's beside the point, he was just helping me. Geez, the way they talk about it you would think we were trying to eat each other's faces in front of the great hall

Ugh!

Bad mental picture!

But I got an Outstanding so they can all go boil their heads for all I care

Speaking of boiling heads I do believe Cam wants to boil mine

I gave up on the whole trying to investigate each girl thing, there's to many and way to many possibilities. I mean how exactly am I suppose to find one girl who meets all the requirements when the busy social world of Hogwarts never stays still long enough for me to see who's in a relationship and who isn't?

Bloody impossible

I decided to move on to plan C: Pry the information out of Sophie Baxter

Only problem: Every time she sees me she turns into a shaking blob of hysterical tears

It seems that I'm the only one who will actually listen to her, so every night for the last week I have spent a good hour with her in front of the Gryffindor common room fireplace half listening to all her troubles

My god doesn't she get dehydrated? If I cried that much I'd need to be drinking at least 4 litres a day

Potter isn't the only thing wrong with her life, her sister is giving her grief at home and she thinks she may be failing her classes

So last night I sat her down and gave her a good talking to

1) She had to move on from Potter, he wasn't worth it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, many of which would treat her better than Potter ever did, and all she had to do was go fishing and then she would find some one perfect for her

2) If the sister has a genuine problem with her then sit down and talk things through, if she's just decided she wants to be a bitch give the sister the finger and tell her to shove it. It's not worth Sophie's time worrying over pleasing a person who will never be pleased and just ignore the ungrateful sister

3) Failing classes? Take a little time off socialising and barricade yourself in the library and refuse to come out until some knowledge has soaked in to your brain. Usually works and you grow to like it

Why do these problems all sound so familiar?

Oh yeah because I happen to have had all those problems!

Though of course I was mooning over Daniel not Potter

But anyway so I quickly decided that the whole prying of information thing was not going to work

So I returned to Plan A: Pester Cam

I asked him so many questioned him continuously about the girl

Hair colour?

Eye colour?

Skin tone?

House?

Year?

First letter of her first name?

First letter of her second name?

It _is _a girl right?

Got me bloody no where except a death glare for the last question and an extremely pissed off Cam

I had nothing else to occupy myself with either and I couldn't even ramble here for goodness sake

Cam expressed that exact thought at lunch on Thursday after one of my rather thorough interrogations, and he articulated his thought by blowing up at the twins

"You had to take that bloody book away from her this week didn't you? I had one week to go till holidays and you had to confiscate the bloody book!"

He continued muttering under his breath for a good half an hour

I distinctly heard the words 'dismember', 'mutilation' and 'execution'

I'm not sure who he was talking about, me or the twins, most likely both I the order of Bridget, Dana and myself. I think I'll lucky if I just get away with the execution part and not the mutilation and dismemberment

But last night he got so peeved he told me to shut up and listen

For once I actually obeyed

"If I tell Potter to just come out and tell the bloody girl will you leave me alone?"

I thought about it for a second

"How will I know he went through with it?"

Cam rolled his eyes

"You'll know believe me"

I looked at him suspiciously

"Okay, but if he doesn't you'll never hear the end of this"

After that Cam relaxed considerably

Well that was one issues resolved but I had been working on another as well

Daniel

Since I had to go to the ball with him I thought it would be best if we were at least past the strictly polite stage so that we would actually be able to have some fun at this bloody thing

I took decisive action on Wednesday

I searched the whole bloody school looking for him! I checked the Gryffindor common room, got Tristan to look in the boys dormitory, went down to the quidditch pitch, peeked into the change rooms, asked Hagrid if he'd seen him and even went to the Hospital Wing

And do you know where he ended up being?

The Library

The sodding Library

I rolled my eyes when I finally found him, trust Daniel to be in the most unlikely of places, the muggle studies study area

I called out to him

"Hey Daniel"

He turned and looked at me with his eyes wide and surprised

What got me was the person sitting next to him

When Daniel turned around I was able to get a glimpse of the person next to him

A girl

A very _pretty_ girl

I smiled uncertainly

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt, I can talk to you later Daniel"

I said this all very quickly and was about o make my escape when Daniel stopped me

"No, it's okay Lily, Abby and I are just going over some notes for Muggle Studies, may be you could help us"

I sneaked a quick glance at 'Abby', she seemed nice enough so I sat down

"Lily this is Abigail Lawrence, my girlfriend"

'… _my girlfriend'_

I blinked

Surprisingly those had less affect on me than I thought they would

I smiled brightly

"Ah I see you managed to bag the charming Daniel Diggory!"

Daniel blushed and Abigail gave me a cheery smile

"Though you have to watch him, he can be quite the pratish wanker when he wants to be" I whispered to Abigail just loud enough so Daniel could hear

Abigail laughed while Daniel scowled at me

"Shut up Lily! Stop telling lies about me!"

I raised an eyebrow at him

"Lies are they? I remember quite a few incidents where you found my misfortune quite entertaining"

Daniel just shook his head

"Abby this is Lily Evans, the obnoxious creation I have as my Gryffindor prefect counterpart"

I beamed at him

"It's a pleasure to meet you Lily, call me Abby by the way"

"It's wonderful to meet you as well Abby, if he does anything to upset you just tell me and he'll never get back from Quidditch practice breathing"

Abby laughed and looked at me curiously

"I have connections"

Daniel rolled his eyes at me

"By that she means she's good friends with two of the chasers and the Captain has taken rather a shine to her"

I poked my tongue out at him

"So what is it that you ignorant purebloods are having trouble with" I asked in a very posh voice I copied from my grandmother

"Ignorant purebloods are we?"

Daniel knew I was kidding

"Of course, now what is it your narrow minds cannot comprehend?"

"Television"

I stared at them incredulously

They don't know what a television is?

Those poor, deprived souls…

I couldn't live with out TV in the summer

I think I'd die of boredom

The shock was on my face

"Yes Lily we have absolutely no idea how the bloody thing works"

I explained how the television works and about satellites and broadcasting and all that, Abby and Daniel thought it was all quite fascinating

Abby is extremely nice, she has long, wavy, golden blonde hair and the warmest brown eyes I've ever looked into. She also has these cute little dimples in her cheeks when she smiles. Abby is a Hufflepuff in our year, we have Herbology together that was how she seemed slightly familiar.

Over all I think she's gorgeous

Daniel and I were back to our normal way of just blathering about nothing but if anything I suppose it was more comfortable because I was no longer pinning after him, I'm glad he's found a girlfriend, you couldn't ask for someone better or sweeter than Abby

I waited till Abby left looking for her friends to talk to Daniel about the ball

"So Daniel were still good friends right? You won't feel weird opening the ball with me"

"Still friends? What do you mean?"

"Well lately we haven't been talking as much as we used to and you were avoiding me for a while"

"No I wa –"

"Yes you were, I don't need to know why, I just want o make sure that there isn't that weird, formal politeness between us because truthfully that would really suck"

He smiled…

"Okay I promise there won't be any 'weird, formal politeness'"

"Good! You know Abby is gorgeous, I'm glad you found her. I expect you to ditch me straight after the first dance and spend the rest of the night with her"

"Oh no Lily, I can't do that"

"Oh yes you will! She's your girlfriend! Your going to be spending the 'Winter Wonderland' ball with her and that's final"

"Thanks Lily"

"You're welcome, do you need help with anything else?"

"Er… yeah, what's with those poles with all the ropes connecting them"

I was confused by this

"Energy lines or something"

I laughed and explained about power lines and telecommunications

At the prefects meeting on Thursday afternoon I sat with Daniel and we stuffed around taking the Mickey out of the Amy, who looked as though she was about to explode from the stress of it all

We were pulling faces behind her back as she lectured a couple of fifth years about their duties and how to behave. They did try very hard to not to laugh and when Amy turned around we were the picture of innocence

I laughed so much my stomach hurt when Daniel told me about a conversation he heard a couple of Ravenclaw 7th years having about their dresses and make up

The room was so loud and noisy, everyone was having a good time just mucking around while Amy was busy ordering Potter around

Remus was laughing at his friends hardship when he caught my eye. He nodded towards Daniel, who was busy in an argument with a fifth year over how you tie shoelaces, I smiled at him to show that I had made up Daniel

Remus came over to talk to me

"I see things are back to normal"

His eyes were twinkling as he said this

"Yes, thanks to you and your nagging"

I finally gave into Remus and went resolved my problems like he told me to weeks ago, I'd just been stubborn about things

"I think I better go save James from an untimely death"

We looked over to see Amy was well and truly worked up and beyond caring if she did actually send Potter deaf

I actually felt sorry for Potter, Amy was possessed and would not rest until everything was perfect. Especially last night when we were decorating the hall

I thought I wasn't going to get to bed till dawn

Ugh!

But we eventually got to go at 11pm

I could have hexed the twins when they got me up at crack of dawn this morning, prattling about hair potions, face masks and pedicures

Pedicures?!

No one's going to see my feet my dress goes to the floor!

When I pointed this out, I was not so nicely told to shut up and that it was the principal of the thing, I was also informed that I was going to have one whether I liked it or not so I may as well accept it

I was up, dressed and out of there as fast as my legs could carry me

Dana and Bridget insisted that everyone had to look _stunning_ for their dates, literally

Well thank god I don't actually have a date then

I told the twins this as well but they just brushed it off

"It's the principle of the thing" 

Ugh! Kill me now

I'm so glad Amy decided that we go with our prefect partner, makes everything so much easier, that way I can just sit at a table all night and I only have to dance once!

Awesome!

I must remember to thank Amy for that

Oh wait some ones at the door

If I ignore them for long enough they'll go away

"Lily"

Bloody hell!

Do you know how much that scared me…

How the hell does Remus know I'm in here

"Lily I know it's you in there"

How could he know it was me…

"You have to be the only female in this castle not in a face mask and curlers"

Bollocks!

"Damn, you caught me out"

"Open the door"

Um…. How about no?

I refuse to go back to my dorm and be man handled by my delirious friends…

"No, I'm not dressed"

I could sense him roll his eyes at me.

"Do I really have to comment on your lying ability?"

Not if you don't want to…

"No, I'm quite aware it's pathetic and don't roll your eyes at me"

I knew he was doing the piercing glare thing at the door

"Stop giving the door that look"

"What look?"

"The piercing look thing that you do, it's unnerving and you're not even looking at me directly"

"Lily open the damn door!"

He's angry…

"But the twins will kidnap me and torture me into modelling a hundred outfits before settling on the first one, do really want to be responsible for that about of psychological damage being inflicted on one person?"

Let's hope he's a humanitarian

"You'll live"

Apparently not so much the humanitarian

I opened the door glaring at him

"Fine but if I become a babbling hysterical mess you're paying for my psychiatric bills"

Remus smiled at my theatrics

"Go join Charlie's snowball fight, I'm sure he wouldn't mind a little more help to defeat James and Sirius"

I smiled at him…

"Thank you!"

I gave him a hug before running off

Now I just have to sneak in and get my cloak, scarf and gloves, preferably while Dana and Bridget are distracted

I am dreading getting ready for this ball, actually I'm just plain dreading the whole damn thing…

* * *

My god you lot certainly know how to make a girl feel appreciated now don't ya?

Thank you very much to all those who reviewed, I'm still on probation and am uploading this chapter while my mum is out talking to the neighbor! I promise that I am writing chapter 25 at this very minute on my laptop. Next time a update I will include personal thank yous to all reviewers as promised!

Don't forget to **choose your favourite chapter and make up a name for it**

Also…

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	25. Shock, Denial and Realisation

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**Sunday 19th December – Hogwarts Express **

I swear the world has gone mad

The earth has flipped on its axis

The sun's light is blue

The sky is orange

The trees are purple

Canaries prey on mountain lions

Pigs fly with out magical assistance

And I refuse to believe all that's been told to me

My friends are all loonies and deserve to be locked up in a nut house

You know one of those old fashioned ones with bars on the windows, sterile white walls and special rooms where they preform medical experiments such as frontal lobe lobotomies

For the last 12 or so hours I have been in a state of shock, now I have progressed to upmost denial and am verging on hysterics

At the present moment I am on the Hogwarts express hurtling to my doom, mother dearest has sent me a total of five reminders over the last week about what to pack and what is expected of me for the coming ball

I just hope Will picks me up

Pretty please let Will pick me up

Please!!!!

…

This morning I got up extra early to convince Riley to get into his cage so I could take him and my trunk down to be transferred to Hogsmeade station. I ate my breakfast in the kitchens and was one of the first students on the train

When people gave me weird looks I just gave the prefect duties spiel and they left me alone

As they bloody well should, nosy prats…

I found an empty compartment in the semi back of the train, dragged my trunk and Riley in and proceeded to barricade the door

No one is going to bother me today

No one…

What, you may ask, has made me become a grouchy, greaten faced hermit?

The sodding ball… what else?

I'll start at the beginning… always a good place to start

I managed to sneak into the dorm yesterday to get my cloak and things, the twins, Rhi and Nessa where all in the bathroom ohhhing and ahhhing over something or other. Don't ask me I was trying to get in and out of there as quickly as possible.

It was probably just how smooth Nessa got her nails from filing them or something

I made my way out on to the grounds looking for Charlie, Potter and Black and found them near the greenhouses

Poor Charlie and Mikey, they were being slaughtered by Potter, Black and Peter

Admittedly Peter was just throwing a half hearted snowball every now and then so that Charlie and Mikey could actually throw a snowball once in a while

"Hey Charlie! Can I help?"

Both Charlie and Mikey were delighted to have a bit of back up, they looked as though they were about to be forced to surrender to Marauders

"Hey that's not fair!"

"Yeah, shouldn't you be painting your nails or something?"

The outraged cries of Potter and Black

"Not fair? It may just be my screwed up sense of logic but three seventh years against _two fourth years_ doesn't seem fair!"

I threw a snowball at Black

"Paint my nails! Who do you think I am? Bridget?"

The snowballs started coming thick and fast

But together, Mikey, Charlie and I managed to hold our own

"It's unfair because those little buggers started it!"

"I'm sure it was provoked!"

Insults started flying along with the snowballs

All in go fun of course…

I was actually enjoying myself, this is how it show be… put off getting ready till the last possible minute

Remus came running up about four o'clock

"Lily! Lily you have to go up to the tower, Dana and Bridget are going nuts looking for you"

Ugh!

Time to face reality…

"Did you tell them where I was?"

Oh no, they'll come down here in their facemasks and frog march me back to the tower!

"No, but their eyes did that weird thing where they go red, so I thought I better come get you"

Fiddlesticks!

"Okay I'm coming"

I quickly said good bye to the rest of the boys before sprinting up to the Gryffindor tower

Well I didn't really sprint… more like jogged. Okay that's a straight out lie, I dragged my feet the whole way asking the forces of the universe to just turn me into an ear wig right now and get it over with…

I have no idea what I did in that previous life of mine but it must have been some serious shit! I mean two prestigious events inflicted upon me in one week? What was I…a bloody serial killer?

No! They get off lighter than I do, they just become policemen or something to avenge the justice thing.

See with karma, apparently you balance everything out, so if you were a criminal like the example above in your next life you become a policeman or detective or something to do with justice so the two lives will cancel each other out…

So since I have a great dislike for social climbers, prestigious events and high society in a previous life I must have been…

… like my MOTHER!!!!!!!!

Sweet Merlin

I think I will just go throw myself off the back of the train…

…

Bugger

As I was making my way down the train looking for a suitable window, carriage or door from which I could make my leap of faith, faith in the fact I wouldn't survive, when I ran into _him_

Literally

I cant even walk death row with grace

Sod the whole sodding concept

I don't even have faith in the leap of faith thing any more

Well of course I didn't realise who I had run into and I started apologising/rambling profusely, explaining how disturbingly klutzy I am and that god or whoever has a damn lot to answer for in the way of innocent people being harmed by yours truly

"Lily?"

Oh bollocks

It's _him_

The one person I want to avoid

I looked him in the eye for a split second before sprinting back to my compartment and preforming every locking spell I knew on the damn door

Don't worry I wasn't actually making my way to experiment the exact effects of iron, wood and crushed rocks have on the human body when flung from a moving vehicle with a speed of 90 miles per hour…

I was heading for the toilet but I felt like venting my anger in a melodramatic and artistic manner

Bloody coward more like!

Anyway back on topic…

I finally got back to my dorm when I was leapt upon by all four of my so called friends

"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhgggggggg!"

I was wrestled into the bathroom and promptly thrown into a freezing cold shower

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!"

Damn that water is cold

"Making you presentable! Do I even want to know what you've been doing all day?"

Only Dana could pull off that harassed mother like tone…

"Having a snowball fight, and does making me presentable require freezing me to the point of comatose?"

No change in the water

Apparently I need to have any form of bacteria or molecule of dirt frozen from my body

"Stop complaining and just wash your hair"

Like bloody hell I will!

My blood is about to congeal and they want me to wash my hair!

We finally came to the compromise that I could have hot water if I wash my hair and use Rhi's _special _body soap stuff

After I got out the shower, I was presented with only clean undergarments and my bathrobe

I was about to tell them to sod off when Bridget cut me off

"Save it Lily"

I was rather taken aback by her abruptness

"Yeah, we've all done our make up and hair all that's left is nail polish and our number one concern – you"

My eyes widened as I looked at them

They had all indeed been made up, they all looked drop dead gorgeous in my opinion

See some girls look beautiful and entrancing when make up is added, they acquire this enchanting quality about them. The make-up and hair styles enhance their features making them nothing shot of enticing

So for me, a girl who throws her hair in a simple ponytail every day and does not wear a skerrick of make up, this is all quite foreign and intimidating. I mean did you know you can actually blow dry your hair straight? Bloody amazing if you ask me

On the odd occasion that my mother has me all dolled up I feel completely out of place. I don't feel comfortable with my hair all styled and my face plastered in gunk, I don't feel any prettier or more feminine than usual as most girls say they do.

I'm weird I know but I don't see what's so special about it

Like when Dana and Bridget played stylist at the beginning of term, I felt like a little girl who has got into her mother's make up, ending up wearing to much rogue and bright red lipstick in an effort to be grown up and just like the mother she idolises

I just don't fell comfortable…

Dear lord this is depressing, but when I always feel like an ugly duckling compared to my friends. Rhiannon is the original Spanish beauty being the human cappuccino, Nessa has the girl next door look that makes you wonder and the twins, well the twins are the pin up girls for how many Europeans would like to be.

I'm different though…

Which I have to admit I like, I wouldn't change myself for the world… but I still have my insecurities

But I wasn't really given the choice right then about whether I was comfortable or not

I believe we had a half an hour long argument over how my hair was to be styled, it seemed a vote had been taken before I arrived that I was to have it half up and half down

Ugh!

I hate that hair style! It just looks weird, I argued my point and refused point blank to let them do that to me. I weakened when I saw Dana and Bridget's faces. How can you say know to those big grey eyes?

I sure as hell don't know how…

I finally agreed to let them do what they wanted so long as it was _not_ half up and half down. I shut my eyes and thought longingly of the chocolate chip cookies Annie, our cook, makes at home, they'd be waiting for me when I got home from the station tomorrow…

Then it came to make up

Double ugh!

Did I really have to have paint on my face?

I was met with a very enthusiastic yes by four slightly irritated teenage girls

I took my chances and shut my gob

I refused to let the twins do my make up, look what happened last time, I ended up looking like a slapper! Rhi did my make up for me, she's actually very good and I knew she wouldn't pile it on… at least not as much as Dana or Bridget

After that ordeal was over I relaxed slightly and we all painted our nails, manicure and pedicure

I admit I have another slightly girly fetish – nail polish

I wanted to get all creative with the black, red and white but those colours were forcefully snatched from my hands by Nessa, shaking her head at me

They were replaced by a grey

How boring!

How as I supposed to make things interesting with just one colour?

"Grey! You want me to paint my nails grey?! Can't I at least have a red to liven things up a little?"

I got a look from Nessa

"It's not grey! It's a light shifting silver, now shut up and put it on"

Bloody spoil sports

I was muttering away to myself by the injustice of it all when Dana announced that it was time to put on our _gowns_

gag

It's only a dress!

Again an argument erupted between myself and the twins

"I am not wearing green"

I abhor green and refuse to wear it to matter how much it '_brings out my eyes'_

"Come on Banana, it looks really good on you"

Pft! Never mind that I dislike it immensely as long as it's pleasing to the eyes of others

"Sod off! I don't know where the hell you got that but I'm not wearing it"

I stormed off to my bed and pulled the curtains tight around me, I already had a dress and I thought it was quite nice thank you very much

It was the colour and texture of an invisibility cloak, silver and silky, very flowy

It was simple, timeless, A line dress

Matched with a simple wrap and a pair of killer stilettos

I'm serious these are awesome shoes, they are a soft grey colour darker than the dress, they have bright clear jewels all over them so they are awfully sparkly. Plus they happen to have a 3 inch heel

I'm in love

I think I will wear these shoes till they literally fall apart

…

Oh for Christs sake

Cam and Tristan are at the door trying to get me to let them in

Pft! As if!

I'm officially not talking to them, especially not Cam he'll be lucky if I talk to him before the turn of the centaury…

"Bugger off!"

"Come on Lily, you can't stay in there forever"

"Wanna bet?"

Silence for a second, they seemed to be changing tactics

"We've got some cookies" Cam taunted in a sing song voice

Bloody amateurs

"So do I" I called backing the same teasing voice

I had already scabbed some off the house elves this morning when I went down there for my breakfast

Muffled arguing

"Look Lily, we're really sorry okay? But what else could we do? We would have been dismembered –"

"I'm sorry – do I appear to care?"

"Lily!"

"Nope, I don't want to hear it!"

"Stop being so bloody stubborn and open the bloody door"

Sod 'em I'm not talking to them and that's final

…

Ah, they got bored and wandered off to tell the others how they failed miserably at getting me talk to them civilly or they might go in search of the food cart

The latter is more likely when I think about it

But back to the night of horror

Once Bridget and Dana had decided we all looked perfect, that took for ever, it was 7:30 pm and time for us all to go down

I sat on my bed as the twins prepared for their _'great descent'_

Oh please, give me a break

Nessa and I shared a look as the twins continued to primp themselves

Once Dana and Bridget had gone down, separately of course with Rhi in between them so that there was no confusion about who was who, Nessa gave a great sigh

Her turn

"Wish me luck"

I gave her an encouraging smile

"Good luck and don't worry you'll knock Tristan out, you look fabulouso!"

She gave me a smile before sweeping off down the stairs…

And I was telling the truth there she did look gorgeous, with her shimmery blue dress and her wavy dark hair pulled to back on one side

Oh and yes she is going with Tristan, they're both a little nervous seeing as it was just recently they admitted they had feelings for one another

I coerced Tri to admit his feelings and then convinced him to ask Nessa to the ball

My smile slid off my face as Nessa shut the door, wondering if I could get away with not actually going down those stairs until tomorrow morning for breakfast

But I resigned myself to the fate worse than death made my way down the stairs

The common room was full of noise and laughter, people coming and going, joking with their friends, I scanned the room looking for Daniel

I spotted him sitting by the fire waiting patiently

I made my way through the congregation of students to Daniel

"Ready?"

He looked up

"Oh sure! You look great Lils"

"Thank you, you manage to scrub up well yourself"

"Yes, well it did take me a couple of hours but I eventually got to the point where I'm acceptable"

I couldn't help but laugh

"Shall we _descend_ to the great hall Ms Evans?"

Daniel imitated the twins' theatrics in a posh voice

"We shall"

We linked arms and made our way down to the Great Hall

Once in the entrance hall we had a few minutes before the hall was opened, the noise level was unbelievable as people rushed around gushing to their friends about how good everyone looked

I couldn't help but smile, school uniforms of black robes and grey jumpers had been traded in for dazzling dresses and tempting tuxedos, it was fascinating

Though I have no idea where these inane people lost in their worlds of romance get their ideas. You hear about the room going quiet and people become stunned as one girl comes down the stairs

What a load of wank!

Everyone looks gorgeous and glamorous, you can't possibly choose one person who stands out from all the rest.

I dragged Daniel off to find Abby, I don't care if he has to open the ball with me his date is Abby

"Come on we have to find Abby"

"We do?"

"Of course! What were going to do after the first dance? Mosey on over to her table?"

He looked at me bewildered

That was exactly what he was going to do

I rolled my eyes

Bloody boys, not a romantic bone in their bodies

I conjured a romantic red rose for him to give her when we were just a little way off

"Alright now go shower her with compliments, give her the rose and arrange a place to meet after the first dance. I'll be waiting for you at the doors"

With that I rushed of to see my friends

Rhi was going with a very handsome Ravenclaw, she has this uncanny talent for attracting that sort, they were talking quietly when I bounded over trying with all my might to enjoy this infernal ball

"Oh Lily, this is Robert my date from Ravenclaw"

"Please call me Robbie, it's nice to meet you"

"It's lovely to meet you as well, I hope you have fun"

After a quick introduction I left them to it

Dana was becoming acquainted with her 7th year Ravenclaw dates clique of friends, pretty smart really since she would be spending most of her evening with them

Bridget was enthralled wither date – Sirius Black. I don't know who looked happier about this, Black or Bridget. I didn't really feel like interrupting either of the twins and left them to ooze charm and make googly eyes while I flounced off to see Nessa and Tri

Cam was there with his date as well, a fifth year Gryffindor, who I suspect was one of the ones flirting with him at the Marauder party

Wait… don't think about that, do _not _think about that, it can only make my cheeks become a stunning ruby red

Especially now

We chatted for a while, mainly about quidditch and Christmas decorations

Very polite

Very reserved

Very boring

I wanted to gag

Thankfully Amy called all the prefects over before I made a retching sound that would have earned me daggers from my three friends

Amy looked exquisite in a snow white strapless gown with a little gold wreath in her hair, the original Christmas angel. Thankfully she was quite pleased with how everything had turned out wasn't about to pop a vein any time soon

I found Daniel and linked arms as we waited for the rest of the students to enter

What a stupid tradition, I mean what's the point of it? It's supposed to be a privilege for students to open the ball. Personally I can't think of a worse punishment.

We all filed in once the rest of the student body had taken their seats and fanned out across the floor just as we had practiced, it's a good thing Amy and Potter are so far away in the middle or else Daniel would have to hold me back from ramming this damn record down Amy's throat

I love Amy dearly and she's a wonderful friend, but she has a dreadful perfectionist streak that could make me look slack. Add the pressure that she's Head girl this year and in charge of the whole ball thing and you get a very scary, very determined person.

I think we practiced this one dance for about two hours on Friday

Ugh!

I was ecstatic when it was over

The most tiring five minutes of my life, thank all the things I hold dear it was only five minutes

I curtsied to Daniel, finally in a much better mood seeing as I wouldn't be putting another foot on that dance floor except on my way out

Nessa had saved me a seat at the table she had with Tri and Cam

I took it gratefully and started nibbling at the snacks put out on the table before me. Amy had decided that a sit down dinner wasn't appropriate since it was a week before Christmas, she settled on leaving out food on the tables so that people could pick at food as they felt like it

I was quite happy sitting there, minding my own business, all right so I didn't really mind my own business, I forced Nessa and Tristan to go dance. But I was on my best behaviour, I didn't even curse Rosie's perfectly styled curls as she swanned past on some 7th years arm

…

Bugger!

_He_ found me

What it wasn't enough to literally run into me today? He had to come find me as well?

Sod him!

I'm not talking to the gigantic prat

"Lily"

Nu uh

I refuse point blank

"Come on Lily, you have to talk to me at one point or another"

How about another?

Let's say another in the undecided future when I can't possibly avoid you… say in seventy years or so if we are committed to the same retirement home and are placed in armchairs next o each other and my legs are too old to carry my weight and there is no other possible way of getting away from you

Yeah that sounds about right, how about I pencil you in for then? That good for you?

Hopefully he'd be dead or better yet I'd be dead by that time seeing as that would take me about five years over my expected expiry date with my muggle heritage and all

He's still banging on the blasted door

Maybe if I pretend I'm asleep he'll go away…

"Lily, I know you're awake I saw you writing in that bloody book just a minute ago"

Bollocks!

Bloody windows, they may be rippled but you can still see through them

What the hell can I do now?

"Lily open the door! I have to talk to you"

Yeah, you and every other Tom, Dick and Harry

Ewwwwwwww!

I just managed to gross myself out

Don't mind me I have a childish, disgusting mind, actually it's excellent when you want to distract yourself from something… or someone

However that _someone_ is making it terribly hard for me to block him out, I'm sure he's about to break the bleeding door down. I would dearly love to tell him to go rot in hell but that would require conversing with him so I have to ignore it…

"You can't ignore me forever Lily! I can see you're awake and I'm going to talk to you at some stage"

Pft! That's what you think!

Not during this train ride you're not!

I have other plans

I pulled down the blinds using my wand, I was not going to get up and go any where near the jerk of the universe

That solved one problem, he can't see me any more

Just how do I get him to go away?

I suppose I just have to wait till he gives up and slinks off

Lucky thing I have a strong bladder

But speaking of _him_…

He's the reason why I'm in such a foul mood; I was actually enjoying myself sitting placidly at the table nibbling away at the smorgasbord on offer, but nooooooo _he_ had to show up…

Sodding Potter

The root of all my sordid problems… all right not _all_ my problems but the vast majority of them

As I said I was happy just sitting there, actually behaving myself for a change when Potter dragged himself over to say hello to Tri and Nessa and offer his congratulations that they finally got it together

True it was partly because of him that they admitted they fancy each other. He had the do some research on a certain chaser move that needed hours of reading being holed up in the dusty old library. According to him it benefited the team and got those two to fess up…

When Tri and Nessa went off to dance again I was left with Potter, not too bad seeing as how I could easily ignore him and get lost in my own little world of day dreams, a big plus was that I was in a unnaturally happy state of mind due to how I had got off scot free from this date thing due to Daniel

I had just begun contemplating how horrid my mother was for ruining my favourite day of the year with her bloody social status crap when I noticed Potter had been unusually quite

"What's the matter Potter, did you leave your personality in your dorm" I joked

That didn't go down well

"Er… I was just joking, um… what's the matter? How come you're not off dancing with one of your adoring fans?"

He just stared at his butter beer

"Oh for goodness sake get some fire whiskey if you're going to drown your sorrows, at least then you can actually forget what ever it is that's bugging you"

He just sat there

This is not the James Potter I'm used to

James Potter does not sit lifelessly at the edge of a dance floor trying to get drunk off of butter beer. James Potter dances in the very middle of the floor with the prettiest girl available, jolly from a capful or two of Ogden's that were slung back in the boys dorms at the pre-ball celebrations

I racked my brains trying to think what had the mighty James Potter in such a dark mood

A light bulb clicked on and I narrowed my eyes at him

"Is this about the girl you've been obsessing over?"

Potter finally dragged his gaze away from his bottle to look at my face quickly before refocusing on his beloved beverage

"Cameron said you mentioned that"

Mentioned?

Wouldn't let up about it is more accurate

"Well I know you couldn't exactly ask her to the Ball seeing as technically Amy is your date but have you at least asked her to dance?"

Silence

"You haven't asked her to dance?" I asked incredulously

Potter just glared sullenly at his bottle

"She wouldn't want to dance with me"

This took me by surprise; the great James Potter was doubting his abilities and sex appeal

"In case you haven't noticed, the majority of Hogwarts female population believes you to be one of the finest male specimens to roam the earth, I'm sure she'd jump at the chance to dance with you"

"No, she wouldn't"

"How do you know? Is she here with someone else?"

"Not that I know of, but she just wouldn't"

That bottle is about to shatter from the ferocity of his glares in a second…

"Would you stop sulking? Go ask her before you become manic depressive"

"She'd just say no"

At this point I'd had enough

"All you have to do is be polite and sweet, I'm sure you can pull that off"

I got out of my chair and tried to pull him to his feet

"I mean if you were sweet and polite enough even _I _would dance with you… by the way did you know that you weight a _ton_?"

I got him to his feet, puffing slightly from the effort since he is about twice the size of me

"Now go swipe a rose from some where and sweep her off her feet" I concluded giving him a small push in the back of the direction of the drinks

At this point I was actually feeling quite jealous of that girl, whoever she was, she had one of the most wanted bachelors of our school after her. And it turns out that he's not actually half bad… most of the time. He can be sweet, funny and very helpful

At that moment I was actually thinking how lucky that girl was and I was feeling quite disappointed that this girl wasn't me

I can say quite confidently that I am the biggest bloody idiot to ever come into existence

…

"No Bridget I am not going to let you in!"

Bridget, Dana, Rhi and Nessa have come to see if they can have better luck than Cam, Tri and Potter

"Lily, please! We feel really horrid"

"So you bloody well should Nessa! You were one of the first to realise what was going on and yet you treated like a big joke"

"Please Banana, we can work it out, he really is a good guy"

Good guy my arse!

Manipulative son of a –

"Don't call me that! I don't wan to talk to any of you, you treated me worse than you would treat Rosemary MacDonald for god's sake! Go away!"

You know what I seriously feel like crying my eyes out now

It may seem as though I'm over reacting but my friends were scheming behind my back, tweaking my life style and influencing my emotions without my permission or knowledge

It's nasty and under handed, I'm serious when I say they wouldn't even do this to Rosie, they just let her get on with her life and occasionally laugh at her for her disturbingly idiotic antics

Bloody Potter

Why the hell did he ever have to show up and become a daily nuisance in my life?

Really this is all his fault

I mean I was sitting there thinking that James Potter was actually a very nice person and wouldn't mind if he asked me out some time when all of a sudden a white rose came into my line of vision

I looked up only to be met with Potter's face

I gave him a searching look

"Lily would you please honour me with this dance?"

I figured he must just be following me up on my offer because the girl had said no and I said I would dance with him if he asked politely enough

He gave me that puppy dog look that the twins always use, the one I can never refuse

As he lead me out to the dance floor I was rather curious as to why he had asked

I settled for surveying him scrutinisingly, searching for a reason. I came up with nothing, so my curiosity got the best of me and I blurted out my question

"Did she say no then?"

He gave me a searching look before answering

"No"

Shock

That was my initial reaction

Denial followed closely

Then realisation

My eyes got wide and I stood stock still

No!

He wouldn't

He couldn't

He can't!

I pulled away from him still looking at him with big eyes

"Lily please"

I started shaking my head

How could he?

What about what Sirius did to… Daniel!

Oh Daniel!

Poor Daniel! I feel so bad

And Remus!

All those cryptic messages!

What about my friends?

They knew!

They knew all this time and they didn't say anything!

Cam!

I swung around and stared straight at them, they were al at a table talking and laughing

Tears started nipping at the corners of my eyes

How could they do this to me? They knew all about this and all the pain it put me through and yet they did nothing!

I turned around again and spotted Daniel and Abby dancing

That could have been me! If it wasn't for Potter that could have been me in Daniel's arms not Abby

All my logic and rational thoughts went right out the window

Never mind the fact that I didn't actually like Daniel any more it was the principal of the thing. If it hadn't been for Potter Daniel and I would be together

I turned back to Potter with tear filled eyes

All those things he had done, all those awful, horrible, under handed things he had done flooded my brain

I looked at him straight in the eye before turning on my heel and walking straight out the hall

I ripped off my beloved shoes before sprinting all the way back to Gryffindor tower

Once safely in my bed with the curtains firmly shut and a repelling charm and a silencing charm cast on my hangings I proceeded to scream, cry and insult my lungs out

I think I called Potter, his friends and my friends every name under the sun… I even invented a few of my own

But as I sobbed my self to sleep last night I realised how everything now made sense, all of it, every single thing that had confused me over the last few months finally clicked into place because of that one event

…

The sound of Star Boy hammering away at the damn door has rudely awakened me from my emotional over load induced nap

I must say crying certainly takes it out of you, the previous part of my entry in covered in tear drops and the inks all smudged. I'm still trying to get hold of my emotions on this issue

"Evans!"

Sod.

Off.

"Hey Evans!"

Go away, please just go away

"EVANS!"

"What?"

"Locking yourself away isn't going to accomplish anything you know"

"What do you care Black?"

"I care cos my buddy James is heart broken"

"Why should I care? Between the two of you I ended up with a broken heart!"

"What?! After all James did for you?"

"Did for me! Oh yes, bullying people, glaring at me, getting people to INTIMIDATE THE GUY I LIKE IS CERTAINLY IN MY BEST INTEREST! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"What did I ever do?"

"Scarring the shit out of Daniel Diggory on Potter's orders! Sound familiar?"

"Oh, right about that –"

"I don't want to know, I know he asked you to and I know you went through with it I was there! So sod off Black and leave me alone!"

"Evans look it's not li –"

"No I don't want to know and I'm not going to listen to what you have to say. Since the beginning of the year Potter has done nothing but manipulate me and my life to suit himself! I have nothing more to say on the matter. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE BLACK!"

He went away after that thank god!

I just got changed into my jeans and jumper, I really should put on a skirt and cardigan to skip the feminine lecture from mother but it's winter and I feel rotten

Please, please, please let William be here to greet me

YES!!!!!!!!

My darling older brother is here to save me

* * *

Hi everyone! I'm really sorry this took so long but I had to go stay with my grandmother for the week. That was certainly an experience… which never want to endure again! Dear lord, if I have to eat one more piece of tinned cucumber I think I will throw up! Apparently tinned cucumbers taste better, yeah they taste better if you don't have any taste buds! Ugh! Also I will do a Picasso and cut off my ear if I have to listen to another lecture on proper conduct

Any way thank you all for your lovely reviews, I'm sorry I haven't written individual reviews as promised but I promise to try next time

Now this is very important **was this Chapter believable?**

I had trouble writing it but please tell me what you think and…

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	26. Bloody Brothers

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**Sunday 19th December – Our Kitchen **

Don't you just hate brothers?

I have come to that conclusion after my _darling_ brothers came to meet me at the platform and were decidedly social

Yes, I did want to torture and then decapitate them but I had to settle for glaring at them all the way home before running away to my room. Thank god I didn't see Tuna when I came in.

Seeing as I have written nothing but praise of my brothers in this thing I guess it may seem weird for mw to be inventing ways for them to leave this mortal coil

As soon as the train stopped I jumped off the train and ran helter, skelter over to Will, taking out a few first years on my way but hey I wasn't really in a caring mood, I was deluded into thinking that the Universe was an ok place seeing as it had invented big brothers

And yes, I am well aware that is a completely idiotic thought and that the universe is just a cruel, screwed up place that has no heart

"Billy!"

I squealed and jumped into Will's arms, pulling him into a bone crushing hug, causing people around us to turn and stare

"It's good to see you too Anna!"

I was hugging him so fiercely I could feel the vibrations of his laugh go through his rib cage

At that moment I was thanking whatever Supreme Being for giving me my older brother. I felt like I was five again and whatever trouble I had could be solved by my tough, big, 4th grader brother

Pity the feeling didn't last…

"Er… Anna I hate to spoil the moment but why is James Potter staring at us?"

Ugh!

He comes near me and I will not be responsible for my actions

"Because he's a prat" I muttered into Will's shoulder

I buried my head further into the crook of his neck

I swear if Potter tries anything he'll be sorry that I'm not allowed to use magic, I'll beat the bloody crap out of him with my bear hands

I pulled back with a confused face

"How do you know who he is any way?"

"He was one of the newest chaser when I was in my last year, I think I'll go talk to him, Harry should be back in a moment with the trolley"

I was left looking after him

Until I heard a squeal from behind me

"Banana!"

I whipped around to see Harry running towards me, he hugged me round the middle and I hugged him just as fiercely back

"How's my favourite youngest brother?"

"Ok, how's my favourite youngest sister?"

"Wishing she could jump off a cliff actually"

Harry laughed

"What've you done this time?"

"Would you believe this time it's not self inflicted? An actual out side force is the cause this time"

"Sure"

I stuck my tongue out

"Any way how have you been?"

"Good I suppose, but Tuna's on the war path, don't ask the difference between saffron and primrose"

"Ugh! Don't tell me she gave you a lecture?" He nodded "Oh well don't worry about her, she'll get over it … I hope"

Harry was looking around for Will

"Where's Will?"

"Over there with the jerks of the year"

I jerked my head towards Will and Potter, who had now been joined by Black

Harry and I watched as they had a very animated exchange, Potter and Black looked quite excited about something… I don't even want to know

"Can I go meet them?"

"No"

"Why?"

"Because they're prats"

"Well William is talking to them"

And with that the little monster ran off towards the afore mentioned congregation

I narrowed my eyes

My brothers have taken a shine to the one person I can't stand beyond all others

Understandably I was peeved, I glared at them for a minute before I noticed Dana and Bridget coming towards me, no doubt leading the rest of the motley crew behind them

I grabbed my trunk and Riley before making a quick escape out to the parking area where Oliver was waiting for us. Oliver has to be my favourite of mother's 'help', he's been with us since I can remember

"Hello Miss Lily, did you have a good term?"

I helped him load my things into the car

"As good as a school term can be, how are things with you?"

"Fine thank you. Where have you're brothers got to?"

"Talking to couple of idiots"

I was glaring at the left front tyre, what it did to me I have no idea but it seemed like a good idea to glare at it rather than Oliver, a tyres feelings are harder to hurt than a persons

I climbed in the car and waited

After ten minutes I got feed up and asked Oliver if we could just leave them

"But Miss how would they get home?"

"I'm sure they'd manage, they always do"

I had just about convinced Oliver to take me home when the dastardly duo turned up. I mean it's wonderful how well Will and Harry get along, what with the ten year age group and all, but sometimes their double act gets on my nerves

They piled into the car and we set off to meet Hades and his three headed dog

Our car is like one of those old fashioned cabs with the extra room in the back and the backward opening doors. It's midnight black with tinted windows. Mother prefers for us children to be chauffeured around so she doesn't have to deal with us for a prolonged period of time in such a contained space.

I was just thinking about how I feel like I'm in a funeral precession every time I go out I this thing when Harry piped up

"They were really cool Banana, I don't think their prats at all"

Thank god the Marauders will have graduated by time Harry gets to Hogwarts

"I don't see why you don't like them Anna, I invited them for a game of Quidditch some time during the week"

I gaped at them both

TRAITORS!

'really cool'? What did they do? Cast a Confundus Charm?

Wait a second…

HE INVITED THEM OVER FOR A GAME OF QUIDDITCH!

Oh dear lord, kill me now, if you have any mercy kill me now!

… I'm sure changing me into my destined cockroach form now wouldn't cause that much trouble and would relieve me of a lot of grief, I can tell you

I had a good talk with Riley and he seems to think even though at the moment I think Potter's the biggest git in the world, that when I look through this pretty little book there'll be something that proves he's a good person, after all I wouldn't care so much about him if he was all bad

All right so that's actually what the logical, Lillianna side of me is saying. Of course the bloody bird can't talk but I would prefer to admit that an owl is talking to me than to come to that realisation myself

The Lily part of me, the part that belongs to Hogwarts, believes I should continue to be mad at all those people at Hogwarts till my dieing day for their deceit

The Anna side of me, the part that puts up with my demented sister and over active brothers, is all for forgiving every one and giving Potter a chance to prove himself

Yes I am aware I just described my reasoning as three separate subjects but each process of thought is based on different circumstances and obviously the Lillianna part is the most respectable and trust worthy

But what the bloody hell is it on! I don't want know anything about Potter and I am most certainly can't be bothered searching out his good points

As you can see I'm rather upset that the practical, level headed part of my mind is siding with the Anna part

Now as I sit here, munching on freshly made chocolate chip cookies and chocolate ice cream in our deserted kitchen, the only thing that comes into my mind is one of Remus' weird, thought provoking statements

"You know Lily, love can cause people to do crazy things, even hurt the objects of their affections"

I'll take a look later

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**Tuesday 21st December – Observatory **

I'm in hiding

Tuna is out to get me

Yesterday I was woken up at 7:30, an ungodly hour for the first day of the holidays, rather rudely by my mother so she could take me shoe shopping. I wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the whole thing until I remembered I was choosing my own shoes. I became much more cheerful after I realised that small fact.

But first we had to go to the Le Secret Dress Emporium so I could try on the dress to make sure it fit. Bloody stupid name for a store if you ask me, it's no longer a secret if you broadcast it to the world!

I have been dreading what this dress was going to look like ever since I was first told about having to attend this party thing. All I could think about was the plum party dress with all the trimmings. One sign of polka dots and I'm outta here

But I was pleasantly surprised, it had a limited amount of lace, no bows and no frills to speak of. And certainly no polka dots

It's a cream colour bodice with a full skirt. The bodice had flowery lace over lay but the skirt was plain so it's okay, sort of. But then again I would be happier to never have to wear a dress again so I suppose my judgment may be a little harsh

Once the assistant had gushed over the way in which the fabric fell and the colour complimented me yada yada yada I dragged mother off to my favourite shoe boutique where I was allowed off my lead to sniff out as many shoes as I liked.

It was like releasing a furry rodent back into its natural habitat, I ran around like a mad thing picking up every sparkly, glittery, sequinned, feathered or strappy high heel I could find

I doubt I could ever hold down a monogamous relationship… at least with a shoe

I found another to die for pair of heels

They're quite simple with one strap across the toes, they're a cream colour so they go with the dress and because they're about three and a half inches tall they had an ankle strap. Personally I love the ankle strap, it's two pieces of cream ribbon that you wrap round your ankle and then do up in a bow at the back

I tried to convince mother into letting me get this other pair of gorgeous, sparkly heels but she said that I wasn't allowed a pair that would take away emphasis from the dress. Er… that was the point!

But oh well I love my shoes any how, I now have two new favourite pairs of shoes, my grey ones and the cream ones

sigh

This love business isn't half bad

However the escort thing is, Will said that he tried to get mummy dearest to let him be my escort but the old bat just sat him done and told him that he had to release his hold on me and that I would be fine, Vivian's son is a perfectly nice young man and would take good care of me

Ugh!

I swear she's set on me marrying the bloke! I refuse! I will not be forced into doing something I don't want to do, I don't care if the old bat begs me she can never force me to say 'I do'

Holly doggy doo on toast

Tuna's found me

**My Bedroom**

Ugh!

I thought Tuna's wedding planning would let me off the hook…

I thought wrong

I have just been subjected to two hours worth of wedding talk

TWO I tell you!

Do you have any idea how many brain cells got killed off? How about the number of IQ points that will be have to be knocked off? Two hours of mindless chatter could turn Einstein into a vegetable. Seriously Tuna's wedding prattle is more effective than a frontal lobe lobotomy!

Less messy as well

When Petunia found me she dragged me off to the quilting room where mother was waiting for us. I say the quilting room but that doesn't mean it's actually used for quilting. My mother had a whim some where back along the line to make quilts, don't ask me where it came from – it's an unsolved mystery, but gave up a after about a month and four quilts.

Any way anyone who's seen a quilting room knows that it has these massive great tables in middle that you spread the quilt out on. Turns out these tables are actually excellent for organising social functions on and my mother has made it her office… for planning social extravaganzas

When I walked in there was papers scattered all over every available surface, there was table cloth samples, colour samples, material samples, flower samples and every other sort of sample available

"Ah there you girls are! Now Lily, we have to work out your best colour"

"What! Why?"

"Darling say pardon and we have to get your dress made"

I stood stunned for a second

"What dress? Why do I need a dress?"

"Of course you need a dress! After all we can't have the maid of honour wearing some ratty old thing"

Well no, they have to look just as good as the bride because after all they are expected to be the next to be married

Wait one cotton pickin' minute…..

Me? The maid of honour? For Petunia?

That's it she's finally cracked, the woman has lost whatever little grasp she had on reality! Not that it was ever very much to begin with but still…

"Do you mean to say I'm Petunia's maid of honour?" I asked with a horrified look on my face

My mother just nodded as she turned her back on me to fossick for dress material samples

I turned, wide eyed, to Petunia for conformation

"You're okay with this?"

Now that I wouldn't be able to believe, Tuna and I don't exactly get a long, actually it's more like we can't stand each others personalities

Petunia was perched on a Queen Anne chair

"It's tradition that the maid of honour is the brides sister, so it is only fitting that you as my sister are my maid of honour"

Ah

Of course, it's expected of her so she excepts it. Had there been no protocol I would have been lucky to get an invite, plus that was code for screw this up and I'll screw _you_ up

But wait that means I have to be her maid of honour!

Even worse it means I have to play a large part in Tuna's wedding

Hey that means…

I knew she was setting me up for marriage I just knew it! Well I'll be buggered if I'm going to catch the damn bouquet! Nope no matter what she says I am not going to follow in Tuna's foot steps!

Dear lord

I didn't realise there was so many shades of yellow, and I do believe that Harry got off lightly from his lecture. If I had my way I would be dressed in black or better yet not even part of the bridal party… but I have to be because it's 'tradition'

Sodding tradition

Screw tradition

There would be no modern advances in this world if every one followed traditio, no television, no Zonko's, no Honeyduke's chocolate

Oh my no Honeyduke's chocolate!

I think I'd die!

Wait scratch that I would die!

So like I said to hell with tradition!

But that would of course never happen especially not in our house seeing as the social butterflies here think every thing must be exactly inline with protocol

Well that will stop once I get married… which I don't plan on doing for a while… a long while… a very long while

But I will hand it to Tuna she definitely has an eye for fashion

I zoned out after the first 20 minutes of the different shades of yellow talk, so I have no actual idea of what I'll be wearing. But I'm not worried because Tuna will want to display her wedding photos on her new mantelpiece and she couldn't if I looked like I was wearing a sack.

She has to much pride to let anyone outside the family know just how much we dislike each other

I don't want to be her sodding maid of honour!

That means I have to throw her a hen's hight!

Ugh!

Mother will give me a list of ideas and I'll have to pick one

Damn this is going to take effort

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**Wednesday 22nd December – Two sleeps till the Apocalypse **

Oh

My

Giddy

Aunt

I am going to beat William over the head with his broomstick till he's unconcious

When I've finished with him he'll never look at a broom stick the same way again, he'll wish broom sticks and the entire concept of Quidditch had never been invented

You see as Will warned me my mother booked me into this beauty parlour thing where all of my mothers inner circle goes to get their hair done and all those other 'vital' beauty things

My mother checked me in while she went to have a look at suitable mother of the bride out fits

Thankfully I was able to persuade the stylist into doing just what I wanted

… Of course that took quite a bit of convincing

Say about half an hour of arguing about how my hair would be cut. The hairdresser wanted to cut it all funky and add highlights and give me a weirdo part with the latest bangs. I on the other hand simply wanted my hair washed, trimmed and blow dried

You can see how that sparked the conflict

Well I came out with a nice trim so my hair looked healthy and it was blow dried straight so it was all bouncy and shiny

The hair dresser was rather sulky when I walked out looking mostly like I did when I went in, that was the same reaction as the wicked witches

"Did you even get it cut?" was her indignant response

You think a pushy hairdresser can defeat me?

Pft! You've got another thing coming

After showing me all the possible mother of the bride out fits, which took a couple of hours since she felt the need to model each and every one of them for me to scrutinise, we finally got to g home

But I wasn't off the hook yet

In the car, mother dearest babbled endlessly about the upcoming ball. That was fine because I could just stare out the window and will myself to drown her out

However she started with the questions

"What colour should your corsage be?"

"What colour should the car be?"

"What colour coat should you have? Black or White?"

"What tie should your escort wear?"

I was ready to scream so I rushed out of the car in order to avoid fighting with her

"Lillianna get back here and answer me!"

… pointless effort really

And it all went down hill from there

We started a screaming match in the entrance hall and took it in to the parlour

"I don't care what colour the car is! It could be black, blue or _lime green with purple polka dots_ for all I care!"

In all honesty I would prefer that it _wasn't_ lime green with purple polka dots but I had to get my point across some how

"Well you should care! This is your introduction to society you should be taking an interest! Why Petunia planned her entire party herself!"

Oh please, Petunia has planned every one of her birthdays by herself, six months in advance, since the age of five

"Newsflash: I'm not Petunia and I never will be! Go talk to Perfect Petty about bloody corsage colours. By the way _my _introduction is to impress _your_ friends so you can keep me out it"

My only part in this is to be a pretty face

"They are not just my friends, they will be your friends as well as of Friday!"

I don't bloody think so! Do I look suicidal?

"LIKE HELL THEY WILL! I'M NOT ENTERING THAT PIRANHA PIT! AND JUST FOR THE RECORD I DON'T CARE HOW NICE VIVIAN'S SON IS I'M NOT GOING TO 'MAKE TWO FAMILIES ONE'!"

With that I flung my arms in the air, whirled around and stalked off towards the lounge

"LILLIANNA GET BACK HERE!"

I resisted the urge to scream 'Sod off'

I ignored the old bat and kept walking

I didn't look up till I was at the doorway separating the lounge room from the parlour

And I was surprised to be met with five shocked faces

Surprised is an understatement I looked as though I had been petrified

"A major blow up on the what the third day of holidays? That has to be a record, even for you Anna"

I glared at Will before turning right around and marching straight up the stairs to my room

BLOODY WILLIAM!

The freaking Marauders were sitting there in the couch staring at me shell shocked, as though they had never seen an emotional teenage girl have a screaming match with her mother

Actually when I think about they probably haven't

They have no experience of sisters that I know of

Any way I refuse to go down stairs till they've left, I certainly don't want to see Potter, the Lily part is still prevailing

I can't believe they saw that!

Ugh!

How am I supposed to face them?

I will kill him, he could have told me they were coming over but nooooo! Will just goes and invites the bane of my existence over without giving me any warning

Now I'll have to avoid the Marauders for… a bloody long time

Bloody Brothers

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Hi everyone! I know that you are most likely throwing rotten fruit at me or at least thinking about sending abusive emails on the basis that I haven't updated in almost two weeks and I totally agree with you.

But here me out I have just gone back to school for my last year of high school so I have my tertiary entrance exams to study for and contend with. You see our school came out really badly last year because the year above my year were a bunch of no hopers so they are taking no chances with us and I have been loaded with home work. Also I spent the week end Friday afternoon till Monday afternoon in the capital city of the state I live in to go to this mega awesome music festival

So again I'm very very sorry but I will try to write another chapter this weekend but it is my friends birthday so I'm not promising anything.

I didn't get time to answer reviews but thankyou so much to all those who took the time. However I have one issue I would like to address, the following review was submitted anonymously:

'Poter was a seeker like Harry you moran'

Now I have nothing against reviewers that point out my mistakes (such as the Picasso/Van Gough mix up I apologise, my brain was muddled from art history study) but I would appreciate if they were well written, grammatically correct with proper spelling and at least well thought out and researched. To this review I can only answer with the following:

Thank you for the review however it was hard to determine just what you wished to discuss. By 'Poter' I presume you mean _James Potter_ and I hate to have to correct you but if you were to read the books you would find that James Potter was indeed a chaser and his position was altered to fit the movie. I have never been called a 'moran' before so I'm guessing you mean '_moron_', I would like to point out that before you call some one a 'moran' you should at least get your facts straight.

Sorry about that little rant but that review has been annoying me since it appeared, but thankyou all very much for your positive reviews and for pointing out my honest mistakes

Please remember to…

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	27. Loathing the Limelight

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

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**Thursday 23rd December – My Last Day of Freedom (that's if I ever actually ever had any)**

So close and yet so far

I'm referring to my Hogwarts oasis and ultimate removal from the spotlight

After Christmas I can just relax and let Tuna's wedding take up all mother's time until I get to go back to school, where I will be hundreds of miles out of my mother's reach. The only catch is that I have to endure tomorrow, which I can already tell will stretch itself out forever

Is it really worth it?

Apparently yes

I would say well look at Petunia, she turned out fine, there's no permanent damage, just a little temporary insanity but nothing long lasting

Only thing is she _didn't _turn out fine

This is the basis of my resistance I do not want to end up like either of the other two females in my immediate family

Today was… shall we say interesting? Yes, I think that's the only way to describe it

First of all I had a rather… spirited discussion with Will over breakfast

All right so I blasted him but he deserved it

And yes he did deserve it! He had the Marauders over with out even warning me they were coming

I think I got my point across

Basically I pointed out that a) they are all prats, Will included, b) that the could have at least warned me about them coming over and c) that there was one in particular I couldn't stand and did not want to see right now, as Will very well knew

Of course there was quite a few 'bloody's and 'sod's mix into the argument and it was a little more dramatic, with a number of flamboyant statements but that's the general idea

After my little rant Will gave me a weird look that said he had no idea what that was all about but he'd find out later

He just drained his orange juice and left before I could scream at him any more

Probably so I would calm down enough for him to interrogate me about the out burst thing and why I don't like Potter so much. Oh well I would probably have told him at one point or another

Still not happy with him though

Any way I avoided mother dearest and Tuna all morning while they ran around getting things ready.

What for?

I have no idea

Most likely the wedding but knowing Petunia it could also be for my coming out, it would never do to have anything less than perfect. Her wedding is this summer and everything that any family member does apparently reflects on Petunia and her ability to be a good wife and daughter in law

Go figure

I've had numerous lectures on not behaving 'freaky' as Petunia calls it, Will has been told to be on his best behaviour as well. Though I get the most warnings because I also happen to be a complete klutz and I'm younger so therefore Tuna can hold her authority of being the older sibling over me

Dear lord what I would do for a pair of invisible ear muffs… the kind Professor Sprout has for when dealing with Mandrakes

Now that would be a useful invention of the wizarding world, I bet that children everywhere would thank the creators incessantly due to the relief of no longer being subjected to the rants and raves of their nagging mothers and older siblings

Actually, I think I'll have to look into that when I get back to school…. My summer needn't be so horrid after all!

Speaking of blissful escapes from mothers and siblings…

While I was relaxing in the library… all right so I wasn't relaxing but actually escaping Tuna and the old bat, but it's not like either of them would actually go in there voluntarily unless they were certain I was in there and even then it would just be to drag me off to some 'important' meeting

Any way as I was occupying myself in the library I came across this book on brains. Well apparently the cerebral cortex (the big, wrinkly, fleshy part) is responsible for coordination and motor functions until it becomes subconscious and then the cerebellum is responsible

I've been duded

I demand a refund

My cerebral cortex is malfunctional

I wonder if it came with a warranty?

So all those times I have smacked into things (and people for that matter) it has been because my cerebral cortex is a lazy bugger who can't be bother to get it right?

Bleeding thing

I think I shall have to have a little chat with the little men in my head

Don't look at me like that, according to my book when I was a kid there are little men up there pulling levers and pressing buttons to make me do things

I'll have to sit them down and tell them to get their act together

But mind you I have some things down pat

… Such as sliding down the banister

I love that it's soooo much fun

Whenever my mother caught me when I was little I would tell her I was being Mary Poppins. Of course I never thought I was Mary Poppins but she seemed happy enough with that explanation seeing as Mary Poppins was a respectable role model… though I have heard her complaining to daddy that it has had serious effects on me what with all that encouraging of the imagination

… She's probably right when I think about it

But these days I don't usually get caught, emphasis on usually

Today I was having a great time sliding down the banister, I usually have about three or five goes, on my last go (sixth time actually) I didn't realise any one was in the entrance hall until it was to late

I came flying off the banister and straight into my loony aunt Lizzie and some other visitor

My mother came rushing out from the lounge to see what all the fuss was about and immediately flared up

"Lillianna Elizabeth! Just what is the meaning of this?"

I detangled myself from the various arms and legs I was caught up in so I was in a sitting position

Time for the innocent act

Right, action stations

Remorseful air: check

Bambi eyes: check

Helpless look: check

Defeated posture: check

"Oops?"

My mother didn't buy it for a second

"You've been sliding down the banisters again haven't you?"

I cast my eyes downwards

Just how exactly do I get out of this one?

"Leave the girl alone Meredith, she needs to express her inner child, Anna has almost left the world of children completely, let her enjoy it while it lasts"

I fought to keep the smile off my face

Aunt Lizzie's psycho babble finally comes in handy

I looked up at my mother with the Bambi eyes

"I was just trying to see if I could still be Mary Poppins"

My goodness I'm an awful liar

She just gave me a glare 'you're lucky we have company'

I smiled brightly at my mother before jumping up and helping up Aunt Lizzie, I gave her a hug and muttered my thanks

I almost died when I helped up the other woman

It was Vivian

Holy Crapolla on toast

I apologised profusely and was about to make my get away when my mother decided on a bit of pay back

"Lillianna, since you were obviously coming down for afternoon tea why don't you join us in the sitting room?"

Bloody hell

I smiled weakly

"I'd love too"

There was no way to get out of that one, it was posed as a question but really it was a command

Half an hour later I sat, slouched in my chair, there tapping my nose with my left index finger, bored out of my mind. The three women in front of me were prattling about some baby shower they had just been to

The beautiful décor

The gorgeous presents

The ravishing attire

The ungrateful host

… the cucumber sandwiches

I sat like this for I don't know how long when I made an interesting discovering:

I can't squish my nose!

I'm serious, I cannot for the life of me squish my nose

It seriously doesn't bend

I once saw Nessa flatten her nose against her cheek and that's what inspired me to try, but alas! I cannot!

I looked over at mother dearest and Aunt Lizzie, yep, I definitely get it from their side of the family

I tried pushing it down, to the left, to the right…. Nothing worked!

I was just poking at it to see how hard the cartilage was when I caught my mother's eye

Uh oh

She widened her eyes and jerked her head towards Vivian and Aunt Lizzie who were excitably gushing over something or other… pair of bloody school girls

I sighed, straightened up and looked interested

That lasted a whole thirty seconds

I raised my finger to resume my nose cartilage investigation

Damn mothers!

Yes that's right the old bat caught me, she stuffed a jam and cream smothered scone into my hands

I just stared at it horrified

No way was I eating that

Cream!

Fresh sodding cream!

Not bloody likely

I glared at my mother

She knows I hate fresh cream, the evil cow

She glared straight back at me

Evil, evil cow

That's it I've had enough

"Oh Mother, I've just remember, I promised Petunia that I would go over the brides maid dresses with her, I'm so sorry but I'll have to go meet her"

Yikes! And people wonder where I learnt to glare from, it's biological I tell you… not that I would openly admit to such a thing

"Well dear, you had better go see her then, she'll be in the quilting room"

Of course my mother could see straight through my lie but she didn't want to lose face in front of Vivian, plus it makes it seem like we have a close, loving family

"It's wonderful of you to be helping your sister like that Lillianna, especially with your own event so close" Vivian commented

Aunt Lizzie stifled a grin

I gave her a tight smile

"Well I must be off, it was lovely to see you again Vivian, Aunt Lizzie, I'm terribly sorry our meeting had to be cut short"

I gave a small curtsy and walked calmly out the room

As soon as I shut the glass doors I lent against the wall beside them, letting out a sigh to end all sighs

My mother's voice floated out o me

"… Oh yes the girls are very close, Lillianna is to be Petunias maid of honour, I mean it is only fitting, they simply do everything together, it's wonderful really…"

I scoffed

In her dreams

I decided I should at least pay a visit to Tuna, I mean I did use her as an excuse to escape the clutches of the social climbers club

I opened the door a crack and peaked in

She looks a bit stressed, I'll make it quick

"Hi Petunia, are the bridesmaid dresses still yellow?"

She looked up annoyed

The glare is most definitely biological

"How many times do I have to tell you it's prim – "

I cut her off

"Right they're still yellow, bye" I muttered quickly before shutting the door and sprinting down the hall

That's how I came to find myself back in the library, aimlessly staring at walls and book spines. I think this has become my refuge, my sanctuary, safe from my nut case family

I've been staring at the wall for quite a while now and since writing this I have finally paid attention to what exactly I'm staring at – our latest family portrait

Ugh!

The disturbing thing is I can't claim I'm adopted, I look just like my mother and I can't claim that Tuna's adopted either, she looks just like dad, sort of

It's weird when you look at our family because us children don't really look all that alike… okay so that's not true Will and Harry look like they belong there

I mean they are both the 'spitting image' (I've always hated this expression I think it's rather disgusting) of Dad. The blonde hair, tanned skin, same facial features, Will has the same build but Harry has a lot of growing to do yet. They look like the pride and joy of any father but their place in our family is confirmed by their green eyes, which are exactly like the old bat's

Petunia and I are rather… shall we say … different

I look just like mummy dearest

…. right down to the last freckle, I didn't know that was physically possible

Pale skin, vibrant red hair, green eyes, average build – yep that's me

Petunia on the other hand is tanned, blonde and has Dad's coffee coloured eyes, I always wondered how she managed to make such a nice, warm colour seem so cold and distant

But really I am sad to say Tuna and I share my mother's facial features and build, but I have to say there was mutated gene some where in Tuna's genetic make up because she has the longest neck I have ever seen, I swear she could pass as a giraffe

When I look at this bloody portrait, I have to say that I look distinctly weird, I stick out like a sore thumb, being the only child with red hair and looking absolutely nothing like my dad

How the heck did that happen?

I mean this has never occurred to me before, I mean I really do look weird when compared to my siblings…

Bloody hell!

Some one's come into the library, most likely searching for me

Ugh!

If it's Tuna or the wicked witch I am not coming out

"Anna"

Sod it

It's worse than I thought

"Anna, I know you're here, it's the only place Tuna and mum would never step foot it"

Bloody Will

Probably came to see me about that little out burst this morning

"Anna! Where are y – there you are!"

Damn he found me

"Hi!"

I gave a fake smile

"Er… was there anything specific you wanted to see me about?"

I received a raised eyebrow for the idiot question and the failed attempt at ignorance

"Anna"

The piercing stare thing… again

First Remus, now Will, where will it end?

"Yes?"

Innocence, always feign innocence

Will rolled his eyes and took a seat beside me

"You know very well what I want to talk to you about, that little out burst this morning, it could just be me but I think you've been holding that in for a while now"

Yeah well if you count three days as a while… then yes I have been holding that one in

"Now are you going to tell me what has got you is such a mind bogglingly awful mood or do I have to drag it out of you?"

I opened my mouth to answer that only the severest of tickling charms coupled with veritaserum

"And don't you dare give me any glib about tickling charms and truth serum, because I'll take you up on it"

I quickly shut my mouth and glared at our family portrait

"Don't you think it's weird how I'm the only one that looks just like mum? I mean I don't look any thing like the rest of you"

Will continued to bore his eyes into the side of my face, how does he keep his eyes like that? I suppose that's another family trait, I do that to Dana and Bridget when I need them to confess to something

"You're just different is all. Stop avoiding the issue, why exactly are you so against the Marauders? They seem perfectly friendly to me "

Yes, well, they are to you now aren't they… me on the other hand, well, let's not go there

"Or is it more just one Marauder in particular?"

Yet another family trait – an overload of curiosity

I just tightened my jaw

I can sense the grin threatening to over come his entire head

"So what exactly is your problem with James?"

I opened my mouth to answer and was cut off yet again

"And don't tell me it's because he's a prat"

I sulked

"Come on Anna what's the real problem"

I took my time trying to desperately find a civilised way to explain my situation

"He likes me"

Wow that makes it sound so simple, it's the first time I've said it out loud and oh my giddy aunt it sounds weirder than scuba diving monkeys

Actually this is the first time since the 'incident' that I have thought about it, well I've thought about it, it's just that most of the time images of grievously maiming Potter and his friends were flashing through my mind at the same time

Will's brow creased with a frown

"And you don't return the feelings?"

I turned and glared at Will

"No I don't return his sodding feelings, he's nothing but an arrogant, manipulative, black mailing git, he's a bloody tosser, who I wish to never lay eyes on again, he's a cunning, vindictive prick who belongs with his reptile brothers in Slytherin"

I sat there breathing heavily, glaring with all my might

Will's eyebrows disappeared into his hair

"That's rather harsh just cos he 'likes' you"

I wish it was that simple

"It would be harsh yes, if, and only if, he hadn't blackmailed my crush, coerced my friends, manipulated my life in general and just plain annoyed the hell out of me"

Will just blinked

"Okay, well, I can see you have a few things that you have to deal with, I think I'll just leave you to sort them out shall I? But I'm pretty sure our little… chat will have helped you feel better"

With that he tore out of here so fast it was like me trying to escape Tuna's clutches

Will's wrong however I do _not_ feel better

I was conveniently refusing to acknowledge the existence of the above statement, there is a small voice in my head reminding me that 'refusing to acknowledge something is exactly the same as acknowledging it' in a whiney sing song voice that sounds suspiciously like Nessa

Well whatever it was, the issue at hand and I had come to an agreement, it ignores me and I ignore it, we were quite happy in the world of oblivion

… Well I think I was any way

* * *

**Friday 24th December – Judgment Day **

Ugh!

It is now 7pm and I believe I have been put through every beauty treatment known to woman. I have seriously been plucked, powdered and pressed to within an inch of my life. Not a nice feeling I can tell you

I am at the moment waiting while my mother goes to get my 'escort'

No matter how many times I say it, it still sounds like a male prostitute has been hired to walk me round the room. Sort of like 'infer', whenever any one says it I immediately imagine the person in a mink coat. My mind is far to literal for my own good

Tuna and the old bat have been insufferable

I didn't even get to tell the hair stylist how I wanted my hair or the beautician what make up, all these decisions were made for me by my loving mother and caring sister

I swear you would think that it was Petunia's coming out the way she has been going on about everything needing to be perfect, on the phone screaming at people about flowers.

I don't see what the big fuss is, The Annual Christmas Ball is held at the same gigantic mansion every year, in the same ostentatious hall, with the same ancient, dilapidated host who is at least a hundred

Okay yes, they are going to read out my name from a piece of card and yes I am going to walk down the stairs and yes I will be introduced to a bunch of mind bogglingly boring people but so what?

Seems more appropriate to throw a wake then a party

At the moment I am slouching in my designer dress, which if I knew the price of I would probably keel over from the guilt of how many starving children could be cured of hunger for the rest of their miserable lives with the money spent on this one dress, trying to breath from how tight the corset part at the back was tied

This is the first time today that I've been left unsupervised

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

Silence

I like silence

I wonder if there is any way in which I could remain here, in my little holding pen, our sitting room, I suppose I could faint or trip and knock myself out… but that requires to much effort

Mother dearest and Tuna fish are being the gracious hostesses they are and are entertaining their 'friends' they always go to the ball with

Oh lordy, what I would do for a pair of earmuffs. If I have to hear Tuna's high pitched fake laugh one more time…

"Elizabeth! Are you ready dear, we're about to leave"

Oh crap

She called me Elizabeth

That can only mean she particularly wants to impress whoever's out there

Ugh!

That statement was not for my benefit, it was merely for show. She knows perfectly well I'm sitting here all pretty, just waiting, she wheeled me in and sat me here for goodness sake!

No, no that was just for the benefit of her guests

…

She just came bustling in here, a bustling ball of energy

Paid me a heap of compliments (More like an excuse for her to flatter herself seeing as I look _just like her_) and gave me the spiel about how this is such wonderful day for her and hoe she is so 'proud'

Proud?

Proud! Of what? That I'm a sixteen year old girl?

As I said the woman has issues

You know if the truth be told this isn't my day, it's not even Petunia's day, it is with out a doubt my mother's day and she is lapping up the lime light

My god it makes me want to be sick

After babbling for what seemed like an age and a half she slipped back out the door with one final instruction

"I'll send your escort in to collect you, he's absolutely gorgeous"

I pulled a face but she didn't see since the old primadonna was already out the door

'Escort'

It has such horrid connotations

'Collect me'?

What am I, a shoe in the lost property box?

It sounds almost like I belong to the boy, I mean you collect your prize or in my case lost flip flop from the lost property box. There is a distinct feeling of ownership accompanying those words

Well sod that! I am most certainly not a possession of any kind

Wait the door is opening

Ugh I can here my mother twittering away about something and then some one answering…

Hey I know that voice!

But from where? That's the million dollar question

Oh

Dear

Lord

No

Does the universe hate me? Really I must have been the equivalent of Stalin or something, maybe I'm really the queen of the damned and I don't even know it…

Right enough of my possible, extremely secretive, secret identities

Why in the name of things chocolaty does it have to be him?

I mean really…

How does my mother even _know_ him?

Well he may be Vivian's son but that doesn't mean I am going to by any means allow mummy dearest and Vivian to call one another family

The woman has well and truly crackers if she expects me to marry him!

I don't give flying fart in space what she wants I refuse to marry him

Sod it!

I have to go

Oh well they reckon that once you're dead you don't feel anything which is always a positive but I believe death by boredom and awkwardness is a tedious and drawn out process

Why couldn't I just be turned in to a cockroach?

* * *

Hi everyone!I know the immediate response to that statement will be a number of drawn guns and quite a few readers threatening to introduce me to Hades and the Acheron river but just hear me out first

It is now up to you as the reader to decide

**Who is Vivian's son?**

You may or may not have noticed butI have set it up subtly so it can be a number of canidates. There is the obvious and the not so obvious, what I want you to do is tell me who you want the mystery date to be. I am effectively putting it to you as the readers to decide who Lily's date is...

So when you review please **vote for who who you want as Vivian's son**

Okay you can now go back to those explict imaginations of my demise

Please remember to Vote and

R

E

V

I

E

W


	28. Mind Bogglingly Boring

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

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**Friday 24th December – My Room (Yipeee! It's finally over!) ****  
**  
Remus!

Bloody Remus Lupin

Of all the sodding people on this sodding planet she had to choose sodding Remus

I mean, come on it 's… Remus

REMUS!

Oh I definitely need a cookie

That's who my 'escort' was

I was so shocked I just stared at him when he came in

I almost screamed the house down when I regained my senses

I think the only person worse would have been Potter, no wait Black could have been bad as well, no scratch that Black wasn't half as bad as Remus. I mean sure Black did the intimidation thing but Remus was supposed to be my friend, well sort of, anyway he was clued up and yet he still helped Potter

That's it Remus is the official scum of the earth

…. Of course Potter is the bacterium that makes up the scum of the earth but the point is Remus is one of the last people I wish to see at this moment

He seemed uncomfortable under my gaze

"Er… Lily? We, um, sort of, have to go now"

This brought me out of my trance; I resumed my scowl and stalked out passed him

Of course I plastered a smile on my face as I left the room

"Ah Elizabeth, there you are! I thought we had lost you"

This little bit of theatre earned my mother some chuckles

"Oh you look gorgeous Elizabeth" cooed a lady I can't remember ever meeting

And this woman would be the very reason why I am being called Elizabeth

Now for introductions

"Oh Elizabeth, you remember Lord and Lady Evensdale?"

I smiled politely

"How could I ever forget? It's wonderful to see you both again, I was thrilled when mother told me you would be at the Ball"

Ugh, being polite to boring old fuddy duddies, just one of the painful duties of being the daughter of Elizabeth Evans

"Of course you know Vivian and Harold"

I turned to the happy couple that were fussing over their son

"It's such a delight to see you again Vivian, Harold, I don't believe we've seen each other properly since last August, mother really must invite you round to dinner before the holidays are over"

Remus was just staring at me as though I had gone mad

Hey, I never said I was bad at the socialite thing I just said I didn't like it

"We should get going, we wouldn't want to keep everyone waiting now would we?"

The sooner we go the sooner I get home

"Oh yes, we really must leave, Remus dear could you please help Elizabeth on with her coat"

As Remus helped me into my coat, well cape thing really it was cream like the dress and of course completely overdone with embroidery on the lapels and being made of cashmere, he whispered in my ear

"You have a lot of explaining to do"

Just who does he think he is? I have a lot of explaining to do! What about him? He knew a lot more about this than I did

"I'm not the only one" I hissed back

By the time I had finally got my dress and cape thingy under control Harry, Petunia and Will were all standing perfectly assembled by the door

My mother was gossiping away with Vivian, both of them looking at Remus and myself with big smiles and glassy eyes

"Now Lord and Lady Evensdale you remember William, Victoria and Henry of course"

My dad just rolled his eyes as the old bat continued to ramble on

Geez I love my dad, how he ever got stuck with the old bat I'll never know

Finally it was time to get in the car, Remus and I went in a car separately from everyone else. I do believe I almost suffocated from the amount of awkward silence filling the interior

Awfully stuffy

I felt as though my only means of survival was to suffocate Remus with my big coat, cape thingy before I went insane. Of course I was saved from actually taking action and fulfilling my plan of survival by the sight of the dirty great manor looming on the horizon

It wasn't relief that stopped me, oh no, it was shear terror as I had an anxiety attack all to my self just thinking about this whole bleeding introduction to society business

Once at the entrance to the massive great hall, we had to all wait while we were announced, well actually Remus and I had to wait until exactly 8:30 pm before we were announced

'Lord and Lady Evans' were announced, followed by 'William Evans' and 'Petunia Victoria Evans'. Harry was sent round to stay with the rest of the under sixteens

Finally it was time for my big announcement, I had refused to look at Remus the entire time we were forced to spend alone. Of course he was getting over his initial awkwardness and was trying to catch my eye

Not that I was having any of it, I was still well and truly peeved at him and wasn't about to change my mind any time soon

We arranged ourselves at the top of the stairs so that I was exposed the most to the crowd waiting below. How I wished I still had my coat

The little penguin man announced me…. And he was a penguin, short, squat and wearing a traditional tuxedo with black tie. I thought that when he opened his mouth he might have one of those horrible squeaky little voices like the penguins on Mary Poppins

Actually when I think about it the waiters and butlers of the world are probably in alliance with those bloody penguins in there pursuit for revenge. I mean the misrepresentation of the singing, dancing, squeaky voiced waiters doesn't just apply to the penguins

I think I will be a hell of a lot nicer to any poor person forced to wear such attire from now on

"Ladies, Lords and Gentlemen may I introduce to you all Ms Lillianna Elizabeth Evans, making her first appearance in society accompanied by Mr Remus Lupin"

Bugger me!

I took a deep breath before making my way down the stairs

I almost fainted when I saw how many people there were, I'm not good with being the centre of attention, especially in front of large crowds

As we made our way down the stairs I had to restrain myself from lashing out at Will as I went passed him. He told me that there was nothing to it, you just walk down the stairs while everyone continued to chat between themselves

He lied!

The whole sodding hall went silent as I came down those infernal stairs, every single one of them watching me, whispering as Remus and I preformed the traditional waltz around the grand ball room

Once all that was over my mother and Vivian bustled over to congratulate me and compliment both Remus and myself. I was just about to tear into my mother for putting me through this when something caught the corner of my eye

He didn't

He wouldn't dare

Dear lord

He did!

That little monkey

Harry stole my wand!

I muttered my excuses before tearing after the little cretin

"Elizabeth where do you think you are going?"

Harry disappeared under the drinks table

I snatched up the tablecloth

"I've got you now you little monster"

Harry gave me a startled look before a cheeky grin took over and he headed out towards the garden

As we passed Vivian, mother spotted us

"Lillianna Elizabeth and Henry Charles you get back here this instant"

To hell with her! My wand is on the line here

When I got out into the garden it was rather dark and gloomy, Harry was no doubt hiding somewhere

I have no idea how many times I have told Harry he is not to play with my wand but if I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times

He probably saw today as his best opportunity to get his little mitts on it in a long while. I mean I haven't been anywhere near my room all day so he's probably been working on getting it out of my trunk for a good eight hours

"Harry! Come out now!"

Silence

"Harry I mean it, I'll never send you another Honeydukes sweet again"

Probably thinks he can hold out till he can get there himself, fat chance

"You know since I always get the owl post I could always say you don't want to come to Hogwarts this summer, if you get one that is, I mean I could always go have a quite chat with McGonagall"

He's ignoring me still, cocky little bugger thinks I don't mean it

"Henry Charles if you don't come out this instance I will personally make sure you never set foot in Zonko's joke shop… ever"

I scared little face popped out from behind a bush

HA! That got him, to think a joke shop means more to him than Honeydukes or Hogwarts

"You won't really do any of those things will you Anna? I can go to Zonko's right? You and Will promised to take me!" Harry asked in a small voice as he ambled up to me and dropped my wand into my out stretched hand

"No, you can go to Zonko's, now go back inside"

I watched him run off as Remus came to the door, looking for me on my mother's orders no doubt

I squared my shoulders

"Lily! Your mother wanted me to find you"

Blimey I need a cookie

"I'm sure she did"

He looked rather uncomfortable

"Why don't we go get a drink?"

For me that was a reasonable comment seeing as I wanted to rip his head off for his recent behaviour

"Um, okay, sure"

Once inside Remus seemed to become a little more at ease

Will came over and said hello

"See it wasn't that bad now was it Anna?"

I glared at him

"You are unbelievably lucky that there are so many witnesses or else you would already have ten bullets and various hexes riddling your body"

I gave him a sickly sweet smile

"But do you like my shoes? I absolutely love them! They're gorgeous aren't they?"

Remus politely nodded as I showed them both my pride and joy, the only good thing to come out of this whole coming out thing

Will just shook his head and laughed

"Anna you're the most flippant person I know" he laughed before walking off

"I've always wondered about that"

I was still admiring my shoes to really notice what Remus was muttering about

"Pardon?"

I stopped looking at my glorious shoes and looked up at Remus giving him my full attention

"Sorry, you've always wondered about what?"

"Why your brothers calls you Anna, but your friends call you Lily and your mother, well your mother calls you various names, Elizabeth, Lillianna, Lillianna Elizabeth. Before tonight I wasn't exactly which of Elizabeth's daughters I was actually taking to this ball, and it turns out that all three are the one person"

I shrugged as we made our way over to a table

"Well as you know my name is Lillianna, and if you didn't you do now, my brothers have always called me by the last part: Anna. When I went to Hogwarts I introduced myself to Nessa and the twins as Lillianna Evans, they adopted the first half of my name to address me by: Lily. My mother, well, my mother addresses me according to the people she's introducing me to"

Remus looked a bit confused

"I still don't get the Elizabeth part"

Ugh! This may take a while

"Well you see Elizabeth is my middle name and in case you haven't noticed all my Mother's children are named after royalty, just like her. William James, Petunia Victoria, Lillianna Elizabeth and Henry Charles. Apparently they sound more regal, Petunia and I are addressed by our middle names in more prestigious company. Got it?"

He still doesn't get it

"Sort of, but let me get this straight you acquired a new name when you went to Hogwarts?"

I stared at him incredulously

"No! Don't be ridiculous! It's simply a nickname. It's quite handy really, I always know where I know someone from by the way they address me"

Dear lord this is boring, I can't wait to get home and get to those cookies, I think I may be compelled to commandeer a whole plate

"Lily about the ball at school – "

I looked up sharply from fiddling with my dress

"Don't start Remus there is no reason to make a mind bogglingly dull night even worse!"

"Lily Listen to me, you can't avoid the issue forever"

True, but I can have a good Goddamn try

"I know, but I can post pone it"

Remus doesn't look at all impressed

"You know, Will has invited us over for another game of quidditch next week and I'm pretty sure James is going to seek you out while we're there"

I almost exploded

I swung around in my seat searching for Will, when I catch up with him he is dead

"Lily if you just let me explain – "

"Explain what? What part exactly would you be explaining Remus? Potter's manipulation? Black's intimidation tactics? The coercion of my friends? Your betrayal of my trust? You'll have to be a little bit more specific about what you're explaining Remus?"

He looked a little stunned as I glared at him

At this moment my mother swooped down upon us

Eek! I can feel my very soul being sucked from me

"My darlings you should be dancing your little hearts out"

With that the horrid old bat confiscated our drinks and threw us on to the dance floor

Remus and I awkwardly held each other as we danced. Well, really it wasn't holding it was more just holding hands slightly

I hate how you have to be silent when you dance so I decided to strike up conversation. I had done my explaining, well as much as I felt I needed to anyway, now it was Remus' turn

I muttered in Remus' ear

"Now it's your turn to explain, you knew who I was all along, didn't you?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably

"I knew you were Elizabeth Evans' daughter if that's what you mean, your mother showed me a picture of you once when she was having tea one time"

I groaned

"So you have been at the same school as me for the last five and bit years and you never thought to tell me you knew my family"

"Well it never came up and I haven't always known, it was the Easter holidays of my fifth year when your mum showed me the picture. Plus I didn't think you'd want a reminder of your lovely family's existence"

I thought about this

"Are you kidding, it's wonderful! Now I have some one to gripe to when my mother is being particularly social or rather is encouraging me to be particularly social, once I've forgiven you that is"

Remus tightened his grip on me

"About that Lily, I'm sorry, I truly am, but I wouldn't have helped James if it was going to result in you coming to any harm"

I gave him a disbelieving look

"I'm sorry I betrayed your trust and helped James with his plans but I can't apologise for James and Sirius or ask for forgiveness on their behalf. I'm only asking for you to accept my apology"

I scrutinised him for a moment

"Okay"

"Friends?" Remus asked hopefully

I thought about it for a moment

It would be good to have someone who knew both sides of the story

I quirked a smile

"Friends"

Remus grinned

"You do know this means I have to now start talking to all my friends again and forgive them entirely"

Remus acquired an arrogant smirk

"Of course, I just single handily saved you from desolated and lonely life"

"Well maybe you can use that highly developed brain of yours to help me figure out this whole bleeding mess"

"Of course I can, as you said I have a highly developed brain, I can become your official advisor, well it's only fitting since I am clearly wise and clever beyond your years"

"You're an arrogant prat, you know that?"

He grinned down at me

"I'm a Marauder, what do you expect?"

I couldn't help but laugh

"Okay, okay, I admit you helped, now help me decide the best way to liven this exceedingly dull gathering"

It took Remus about an hour to persuade me that adding fake vomit to the punch was not the best idea and that I would never again set foot in this hall if I was to set fire to Countess of Kent's wig

"Oh come on, just make it smoke a little, then sh – "

"What are you planning to do now? I sincerely hope it has nothing to do with the Countess's wig again, she just got a new one and is quite proud of it"

I turned around to face William, grinning like an idiot

"Having a good time?"

I glared at him

"You know it would save so much trouble if you had just got out your wand and made that horrid beehive smoke the first time I asked"

Will just shook his head

"Saved trouble for who? I know that the Countess wouldn't see it like that"

"Save my piece of mind! You should at least try to save your youngest sister's sanity! I mean Tuna has already gone off the deep end now you just have to save me!"

Will and Remus both laughed at my dramatics

"Hey Remus, the little wench here isn't making things too unbearable, is she?"

"No, just letting her mischievous side show through"

"Speaking of mischievous…"

I turned to face Will, straight on

"Wilma, when exactly where you going to get up the courage to tell me that you had scheduled another quidditch match?"

I call him the female version of his name when he's being a wimp

Will bit his lip

"I was actually hoping you wouldn't find out about that"

Unbelievable! And he was Gryffindor's golden boy as well! He's a disgrace I tell you, I rotten disgrace!

By 11pm I was bored out of my mind, Remus was doing the dutiful son thing, charming the pants off some crusty old woman to please his mother. William was patiently listening to the rant of our dear Uncle Larson, he's positively ancient but he's awfully nice. Harry was happily running around being the mischievous little cretin he is terrorising some poor delegate… I do actually take a bit of the responsibility for that one but how was I to know he'd grow up to be just like Will?

I was having to do the dutiful daughter thing myself and was dancing with some self important wanker. My mother and I (I was forced into it I swear!) had been talking with some pompous woman, who promptly summoned the gigantic bore that is her son

I almost screamed when he asked me to dance, the old bat gave me a look that said if I didn't I would never see the light of day again.

Ugh!

The things I am forced to endure

I smiled sweetly and shyly as I have been trained to do and accepted his hand, as he led me onto the dance floor I began to doubt my original judgment of this boy

Little did I know what I was letting myself into

Everything was fine… until he opened his mouth

My god, I thought I have verbal diarrhoea, this bloke has a spastic bloody colon

First he told me how is going to be 21 next month

That was the first warning sing

Any bloke in this circle of society who is coming of age is to be avoided (at all costs?), their mother's begin to shop for potential brides, just like my own mother will begin to do after Petunia's wedding since Will is 21 next year

Second he informed me he was studying law at Harvard University

It progressed to an unnerving sensation

This is enough to make the warning bells go haywire, you don't tell people about your schooling unless you wish to impress them and I certainly didn't want to be impressed

Thirdly he expressed his interest in polo; he inquired as to whether I liked horses and invited me to come to his match next week

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

That was it! I do not like where this is going! No, no, no, I don't like this at all, if my bloody mother puts me up to that then I will well and truly scream the house down. You see this is how these people show affection, to their horses and their dogs, hence the magazine Horse and Hound. Inviting me to a polo match is like any normal person asking you to the movies or Hogsmeade

I opened my mouth to say no, I'm busy, when the music stopped and he steered me back over to our darling mothers

"You look lovely Elizabeth, you and Edward both dance divinely"

Ah so that's his name

I did the sweet smile thing again

"Thank you, it was pleasure to dance with you Edward"

"No, no the pleasure was all mine Elizabeth, I am grateful just to have a chance to know you better, I hope I shall see you at the polo match on Thursday"

Know me better! He waffled about himself the whole time and didn't ask me one question about myself! It was like listening to one, long, tedious advertisement highlighting the values of some useless item on the shopping channel

Again I went to answer but my mother jumped in

"Of course! Elizabeth would love to go! She had just finished telling me how much she missed the polo matches. Staying in France for the majority of the year means she misses out on polo. Elizabeth would love to come! Wouldn't you dear?"

What a straight out lie! I hate polo! Absolutely hate it. Tuna loves polo not me, it's the sport of nobles apparently. Everyone who's anyone goes to watch the polo. I stay at home reading a book when the family goes out for a day at the polo matches

"Yes, I can't wait till Thursday"

Oh. My. God.

I'm gonna scream, I can't believe the old bat is making me do this, I hate polo, I hate watching the horses get beaten by whips, I hate how cocky the players are, most of all I hate the people who go to watch polo

Oh no! I'm going to have to see Morgan and Margaret

Oh dear lord! I hate Morgan! She has to be the most horrid person I have ever met! I call her Morgan Le Fay, she's an evil, manipulative being who should be sent back to the fiery pits of hell from which she sprung

Margaret isn't much better, she's more just Morgan's little minion. Unfortunately they both just love polo

Ugh! Kill me now!

"Tell me Elizabeth, do you miss your family terribly when you're at school? I mean it's such a long way from home"

I put a thoughtful look on my face

"Oh, yes, I get awfully home sick sometimes, but I write letters every week and I come home every holidays, so it doesn't get too bad"

My mother smiled proudly and the woman gave me a look of approval

It's very important for young women to be family orientated, these people certainly don't approve of these flittering young women who leave home with out being married or engaged to roam about the country side, working or, God forbid, for fun!

When they finally went away my mother started up with her nonsense babble and nauseating gossip

"That was Lady Lavinnia Drakefield and her son Edward, they're very well off you know, Lord Drakefield has a number of well established businesses, particularly in the Middle East"

I can only imagine, he probably employs a whole village for his 'established businesses' and pays them a pittance a month

"Edward is almost twenty one and Lavinnia said that she is beginning to contemplate possible matches for her dear Edward. She has taken quite a liking to you dear, and Edward, well, Edward is just plain smitten with you"

I stared at her incredulously

How can this… thing ever have been a woman, let alone a mother?

"Mother, I don't what know you are suggesting seeing as you and Vivian have been scheming together for a good 15 years"

If she was going to set me up with any one I would much prefer it was Remus rather than Edward Drakefield, at least I know Remus and there is the tiny detail that his best friend would dismember him if he tried anything

Also I have no idea how Edward would take the fact that I'm a witch

"Oh darling, don't blow everything out of proportion, Vivian and I thought it would be nice but we never set anything in stone. Edward is a very handsome young man, and such a gentleman"

I scowled as she drifted off to talk the ears off some other poor sap

Her and Vivian may not have set it in stone but I'm pretty sure they sealed it with blood

* * *

Hi everyone! Alright before anyone tears my head off I'm sorry if you didn't like who lily's escort was. Yes, I did say vote but that doesn't mean that I was necessarily going to go with what the outcome was. It's a totalitarian democracy, so shoot me! (And yes I am perfectly aware that's an oxymoron but if you think about it, it is actually what happens, you give people the power of choice but then turn around and do whatever you wanted to do in the first place) I actually just wanted to see how many people thought it would be James, if you go through the story you will actually see some clues that it's James but alas, it was a red herring.

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed, and all those who had a quick peek as well. I really do appreciate your opinions and suggestions

Tell me what you think

Please remember to…

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	29. Family Fiasco

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Saturday 25th December – Christmas Day! ****  
**  
Last night I was so tired I didn't get up this morning until nine o'clock, and that was only because Harry came in looking for me. Seeing that I was asleep he did what any sensible ten year old boy does, he jumped started jumping on my bed! I screamed multiple insults before I finally gave up and got out of bed

Now you may be wondering why on earth I am still in bed at nine o'clock on Christmas morning when there are presents just waiting to be unwrapped. See the thing is that in our house present opening doesn't happen until after Christmas dinner, therefore there is no reason to get out of bed until absolutely necessary.

Harry usually gets Will and me up. Will takes him to play a bit of quidditch before breakfast and sometimes I join them. Then it's my turn, I usually take him to the kitchen and we make Christmas shaped cookies while Christmas dinner is hurriedly prepared about us. We actually make a pretty good team.

Christmas dinner

Better known as the Annual Family Fiasco

Our large dinning room table, that my mother insists is used all year round (it's ridiculous, there are only six of us and yet we use this whopping great thing at all times), is adorned with candelabras that are wrapped in tinsel and smothered in holly, fat freaky little Santas that sing, star sequin thingys that get everywhere and of course the traditional leprechaun

Don't ask

My mother has this thing about honouring her, well our, Irish Celtic ancestry or something as equally idiotic. I've tried countless to tell her that leprechauns have nothing to do with the Celts and are in fact cheeky little creatures that love to antagonize people but will she listen?

Not on your life

But hey Paddy the Leprechaun has become a firm member of our Christmas holiday traditions. He was actually christened Patrick but only mother dearest calls him that, no one else can be bothered with such formalities

Family

What would we do with out them?

Have a bloody quiet time is what!

All my deranged family comes round for the annual Christmas dinner

Of course Aunt Lizzie comes, with whatever daft fancy man she's picked up this time

Then there are the grandparents

It's my mum's parents since dad's died when I was only about three. My god, I never thought I would find a woman more aggravating then my mother… then along came grandma

Oh dear Lord, if she tells me one more time how much I've grown or what a young lady I've become I will not be held responsible for my actions

I swear my sister, mother and grandmother are all channelling the same spirit of evil, all with the same ambitious mindset, just waiting for the right opportunity to pounce and bring their prey to its knees

I have to say I definitely prefer the males of my family

Dad's family is represented by Dad's siblings, Uncle Damien and Aunty Debra, and their immediate families and also by the batty great aunt – Dotty.

Uncle Damien's okay, he's a barrister of some sort, his wife Clarisse is nice enough and their daughters, Amanda and Annabelle, are only three and two so they're not that much trouble

They're actually quite cute… when you stuff them full of chocolate

Aunty Debra's kids are another story

Absolute little monsters

That's the only way to explain them I'm afraid.

Debra married some high profile brain surgeon and has never been the same. According to dad and Uncle Damien, I'm just like Debra used to be: carefree, cheeky and insane, with a healthy disregard for the rules.

Their words not mine

But the Debra I know is slightly obsessive compulsive with no control over her children to speak of.

They demand chocolate, they get chocolate.

They want a toy, they get it.

They desire to stay up late, they do, with or with out Debra's consent

The woman has no backbone

Eric, Logan and Chelsea have their mother wrapped around their little fingers, it's pretty scary really.

Eric is the eldest and is the same age as Harry, Logan is eight, a brat if I ever I saw one, (Harry leads these two into mischief of elaborate schemes and exploding tea cups) and Chelsea is five

I run and hide when they come to visit; apparently Chelsea likes me better than the rest of the family put together and shows it by following me around constantly asking annoying questions, lucky me! It's a pity she's such a spoiled little princess

Andrew Ashbrook is Debra's husband and has to be the most arrogant man I ever did meet, but you know what I'm not going to was my ink on him

And of course Great Aunt Dotty

What can I say about old Dotty…well she's a goer that's for sure!

"I've never approved of this mamby pamby tea business" she tells me "and what good is living life if your not going to enjoy it!" with that she drains her glass and calls for another sherry

You've got to love her

My lord it's funny when her and my grandmother have a conversation. Grandmamma, as she likes to be called, acts all proper and dignified, ankles crossed, back straight, sipping her tea delicately, desperately trying to claim a place in society. Whereas great aunt Dotty smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and swears like a trooper, and she grew up in this society!

I almost wet myself laughing listening to grandma try and be all posh in her pearls while Dotty slouches in her seat and asks grandma if she ever found that stick she lost up her arse.

At the table are nine adults, who don't necessarily get along, with three children sitting eating peacefully, another one whining (Chelsea) to her mother about how she doesn't want to be a lady, three troublesome boys running around like mad, just itching to get their fingers on the Christmas pudding and blow it up and finally two toddlers dressed up to the nines in fairy gear sitting under the table gorging themselves on the chocolate they managed to smuggle from under the Christmas tree

As you can tell it's absolute bedlam

With the number of conflicting views on everything from politics and religion to how a galaxy bar should be eaten, a debate is destined to break out. And just my luck it happened to be about the way young women are conducting themselves these days

Oh joy

As the only member of the congregation that can be described as a young lady I was at the centre of the debate

"Oh please Damien, you must have seen those girls in the city, no dignity at all, those skirts they wear almost disappear under their belts"

"I agree with Debra, the young women of today have completely lost the virtue of modesty and conduct themselves in such an inappropriate manner"

"Shut your trap Ashbrook, what do you know about the young people of today? I've seen the girls of today and they're not half as bad as my niece, _your wife_, was when she was young!"

Andrew spluttered, looking about for some one to help him

This started because Clarisse politely complimented Debra on her dress and then Debra went off on some rant about how immoral and immodest the latest fashions are and well it just went from there with Andrew the Arse jumping on the band wagon alongside his wife

"Now look at Petunia and Anna, they are both respectable young women, both have more dignity and are more modest than you ever were at that age Debra"

Petunia flushed and stammered a bit

"Well I don't think I can really be counted seeing as I'm about to be married but maybe Anna can give you an insight into the youth of today. If you'll excuse me I'll go help mother with the tea"

With that she swept off to find mother dearest who had declared she was organising the tea as soon as the debate started.

Pft! Tea! More like an Irish coffee… minus the coffee

The whole table turned to me expectantly

_Thanks Tuna __  
_  
"Well…er… you see…um…maybe... er… I don't"

I caught sight of Will's smirking face and my resolve hardened

"I don't agree with you, Debra, Andrew, I believe the youth of today are as respectable and dignified as it is possible to be in this changing world. It may seem an outrage for some things to occur or be worn in your view but you must be tolerant and understanding, just like your parents were with you"

Debra and Andrew gave me dirty looks, while Dotty gave me a hundred watt smile

"Well what other answer would you expect with a mother like Elizabeth" mumbled Andrew

I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster

She may be a scheming, social climbing, cow of a mother but she happens to be MY scheming, social climbing, cow

Dotty heard as well and so did Will

Thankfully Dad, grandpa and grandma were immersed in a conversation about hot water bottles and didn't notice

Dotty fixed him with her evil glare that out does even my own

"Would you like to repeat that Mr Ashbrook or shall we assume that you were just passing wind?"

Andrew glared at her but backed down due to the glares he was receiving from the three of us

The whole time Debra had just kept quite and seemed to be torn between her loyalties of being a good wife and a good sister

Thankfully the tea finally arrived and we all had Christmas pudding with custard

Of course after that we opened our presents and the evening deteriorated into drunken singing, wild giggles and shouts of sheer delight

My darling friends all sent me wonderful presents

The most surprising was from Daniel

He sent me a friendship bracelet with a small charm with a small note, the bracelet and charm are to renew our friendship and hopefully make it stronger

Awwwwwwwwww

Now ain't that sweet?

Well it may be a solely platonic relationship but it's has worked out better than any romantic relationship between Daniel and myself ever could, plus Daniel has Abby, who I have become immensely fond of

I am yet to find myself a new love interest, admittedly I'm avoiding that sector of my life at the moment and I don't particularly want to take any of Remus' advice

Bollocks!

I've just remembered we have to go to the Lupins for dinner on Tuesday

Oh dear, turn me into a cockroach now before I get hold of some stockings and speed up the processes of reaching the next life

* * *

**Wednesday 29th December –The Kitchen****  
**  
Oh lordy

I don't think I have ever been subjected to anything quite so…. Superficial

It's the morning after the night of horror's, dinner at the Lupins, and I still can't believe the level of fakeness I had to endure last night

I know fakeness isn't an actual a word but it is now, it goes with my new Socially Unacceptable Scale of Fakeness

The scale ranges from the minimal, petty offence of fake smiles and high, shrill, fake laughter (I myself am continually guilty of this offence, smiling only though), all the way up to gross exaggeration of expensive holidays, cars and beach houses and elaborate amplifications of offspring achievements

Last night was right up there with the month long Mediterranean cruise and child stars

The cringe factor for both Remus and I went through the roof, we both had a wince permanently set on our faces for the majority of the evening

It was what I like to call a formal evening, a prelude to the business deal that was coming later, namely Remus and myself

Damn that's weird to write

Just plain freaky actually, I have never seen Remus as anything other than a friend so to have my mother lining us up for marriage is just too weird

Due to the _business nature_ of the dinner William, Petunia, Henry and Remus' little brother Romulus were absent from the congregation, leaving Remus and myself to bear the unwavering discussion of ourselves alone

Ever had that feeling where you wish the earth would just split open and swallow you up? Yes, everyone has, I felt like that for the whole night

This afternoon my mother forced me into this hideous green, silky dress ("It brings out your eyes dear") and told me that I was to be polite, enchanting and charming for the Lupins ("Lillianna, if you misbehave in way, shape or form you will seriously regret it young lady")

I unwillingly complied ("Okay, okay, no need to get your panties in a twist")

Well what else could I do? I had the wicked witch from the west glaring at me like there's no tomorrow and giving off vibes that made it clear grievous bodily harm and homicide are not beyond her

Petunia wasn't at all phased about not being invited to the dinner as she usually would be, flowers for her wedding were still to be decided upon. Apparently the flowers either make or break the whole occasion so Tuna was going to devote the whole day and possibly the whole night to picking the perfect flowers

Barmy that one

Personally I would just rather a traditional bouquet of white roses but not Petunia. Oh no! Tuna has to pull out the baby's breath, lilies, fern frons, the different themes of tropical, traditional, beach

I don't mean to be rude but….

WHAT!

I mean she's having a strictly traditional wedding and for the bouquet she's thinking post-modern/tropical-beach, there is no logic there at all

Barmy

Bloody barmy

Will thought it was extremely amusing that I had to go to a business dinner, complete jerk that he is was listing the number of ways in which I would most likely ruin the night and mortally embarrass the family

That was until mother dearest informed him that he would be having tea with Lady Ludwig and her daughter on Thursday at the polo match

Karma

It'll get you every time

Though of course I'm not quite sure what I did to get myself into this mess of dinner with mother's friends

But when I think about it I instigated it when I was fulfilling my duty of being a good, socially acceptable daughter

Actually you know what it was entirely my own doing

Why, oh why, did I have to suggest dinner?

Because I could give even Tuna a run for her money in the barmy stakes

Anyway so there I was dressed in my emerald green cocktail dress, nervously perched on a Queen Anne arm chair (More like spindly, uncomfortable stool) in Vivian Lupin's formal sitting room, dutifully participating in boringly polite conversation, vainly trying to ignore the tension in the room

It turns out Vivian had tea with Lady Lavinnia Drakefield the other day and was quite surprised when Lavinnia mention my name, commented on my charming qualities and how I was coming to watch Edward's polo match

As you can guess that didn't go down well with Vivian

She was staring at my mother with a piercing glare, my mother being as frivolous as she is was able to carry on as though nothing was wrong at all

Lucky her

Remus and I weren't so lucky

Vivian sent me accusatory glances every now and then as though I had deliberately strung her son along with the full intention to become engaged to another man

Oh please as if I would marry Edward Drakefield

shudder

And it's not like Remus and I have any romantic tendencies towards each other anyway

Though I think Vivian realised that I was much more inclined towards Remus than the definition of arrogance himself (I think she may have seen my not so well disguised look of disgust when the topic of Lady Drakefield came up), also there is the fact that Vivian has known mother long enough to know I despise polo and that mummy dearest has a tendency for making arrangements for me

I was beyond relief when the dinner bell went at seven o'clock

I really don't like formal dinners they drive me mad, you have to be proper and refined for so long

Vivian was pulling out all the stops tonight

First we had pumpkin soup with a bread roll

I could see Remus remembered my dislike of pumpkins by the mischievous sparkle in his eye, I prayed to the supreme beings that they didn't serve pumpkin juice

I've just had a thought, I know Remus has one parent who is magic and the other is muggle but it's just hit me I don't know which one

I was staring into my pumpkin soup with a bewildered look on my face when a slight cough brought me back from dream world

I gave Remus a quizzical look

The parents were chatting amongst themselves; Vivian was quite determined to change my mother's mind about the Drakefield situation

I decided to ask him later

Second we had the fish course

I have never really liked sea food so I wasn't all that enthusiastic

But that course signified the importance of this dinner usually when it's just a friendly dinner there are only four courses, so when the fish course comes out you know that it's pretty darn serious whatever is going to be discussed after dinner

I cringed when I saw the fish

I did not like where this night was heading

The main was roast lamb and suitable braised vegetables

Finally something I could actually eat with out feeling as though I needed to burn my taste buds off with acid or as if I had a cloud of uncertain dread over my head

Though mind you it was cooked in some fancy pants way with heaps of herbs and spices and whatever else and was not really what you would call food of sustenance

Dessert was these weird blueberry and orange crepe basket things

God knows they would have been time consuming to make, I mean you have to get the pancake stuff just right, then make the little basket things and then you have to poach the blueberries and orange segments, that's after you've peeled the oranges and cut them into perfectly equal parts

Come on, julienne oranges?

What is wrong with this woman? I feel great sympathy for her poor cook

When I saw the basket I really knew something was up

First the foreboding fish now difficult deserts

I sure as hell hoped that I wasn't going to be included in the after dinner talks

Last was the cheese board and fruit

I was becoming desperate as to what I could do to get out of having to listen to at least another couple of hours of prattle and unrelenting interrogation

After that it was to the drawing room for tea and brandy

I made a silent plea to Remus to get us both out of the forthcoming doom

"Er… excuse me mother but would you mind if I showed Lily your roses?'

My face lit up at this

Thankfully Remus had came to my rescue, I always knew he was my favourite marauder

Oh yes, an excuse to miss the entire after dinner talk

Vivian glanced at me and I think she may have mistaken the look of joy on my face as enthusiasm to spend alone time with her son

She smiled

"Of course dear, be sure to show her the fountain as well, you'll just love it Lillianna"

As we made our escape Vivian threw a knowing glance at my mother

"How can you possibly think of Drakefield when they've obviously taken a shine to one another?"

Remus and I cringed simultaneously

I ended up on a swing under the great Willow near a stream somewhere in the vast landscape Vivian called her garden, Remus was happily lounging on the garden furniture

"So you've taken quite the shine to me have you Mr Lupin?"

Remus quirked a smile

"I could ask you the same Ms Evans"

Damn he isn't going to play along

"Fine be that way, but do think we should tell them we know each other from school? They seem to think that we've never met before"

Uh oh, he's got his Marauder look

"Nah they can work it out"

I couldn't help but smile, imagine the reaction from Vivian and the old bat!

'Oh my, Lillianna you could have told me, it would have saved so much time!'

'Remus, really, you should have informed me, I must have made a fool of myself'

Oh yeah, I want to tell them just to see the look on their faces

Speaking of disorientated looks…

"Hey Remus before I forget which one of your parents are magical?"

"My dad, that's why the house is almost completely magic free, mum doesn't want anyone to know, she just gets images of dad's boss' head popping up in our fire while someone like your parents are here"

Oh well that explains a lot now doesn't it?

"Ah, so how was your Christmas? See your family at all"

Remus laughed a hollow sort of laugh

"Yeah I saw them alright , way too much of them"

I gave a sympathetic smile

"I know what you mean, between my spoilt brat of a cousin following me, my brother and cousins running around trying to blow up the Christmas pudding and ignorant arse of an Uncle stirring things up, I was only too happy to see the back of them"

Remus chuckled

"I like the sound of your brother and cousins. That was Harry right leading them into trouble?"

I nodded

"Yeah and I can't think who he learned that from, bloody Will"

"From what I've been told Will's partner in crime had a greater influence on our young Harry than he did" Remus stated with a pointed look at me

"Oh shut up, I would have never introduced him to fire crackers if I knew what sort of damage he could reek with the things"

"Yes, well blowing up the Christmas pudding reminds me another group of boys, I'll warn you now they don't grow out of it"

I smiled as I swung higher

"Don't tell me, the Marauders had a reunion on Christmas and blew up your mother's famous Christmas cake, the one with Santas?"

Remus grinned

"The very one"

"I can imagine your mum didn't exactly see your point of view, it would also explain the brown spot on the painting of your great grandfather in the dinning room"

Remus looked up from whatever he had been playing with

"You noticed? Well we thought we'd leave it there to see how long it would take mum to notice. James and Sirius were particularly proud of how the explosion went, we managed to get everyone in a five foot radius"

I shook my head at his enthusiasm, he maybe the sensible Marauder but he's a Marauder all the same

"He asked about you, you know"

This statement startled me, not because Remus had said it or the information it provided but the fact that I immediately knew who he was talking about

Damn it!

I have a treacherous mind I tell you, it makes decisions completely on its own without my consent

Bloody traitor

Remus took my silence as a sign for him to go on

"I know you don't want to hear this Lily but James really does care about you. Just for a second forget all those unfavourable qualities and dubious acts, now tell me that you didn't think he was good guy, some one who you even began to like"

I had stayed quite all through his reasoning, quietly listening to his reason but the last comment commanded my attention

I almost stopped the swing completely as I stared at Remus

"Don't look at me like that Lily. I know you, and you had started to see him in a different light, a light that he wanted you to see him in"

My lack of response only encouraged him further

"Maybe you didn't notice it yourself but I certainly did, you were warming up to him and with good reason, he was finally doing things right"

I just stared at the stars

"Come on Lily, you know it's true"

I glared at him

My own mind has been nagging at about the same thing with Remus-like reasoning

Bloody traitor of a thing

"Ok, so what if it is? What do you want me to do cast a memory charm on myself before flinging myself at him? I just need a bit of time to think what I'm going to do"

Remus gave me one of his calculating looks

"You could try talking to him?"

I gave Remus one of those 'do I have to' looks

"It's the only way you clear all this up, you can't work it out on your own"

I sighed knowing he was right

"Okay fine, I'll talk to him"

I resigned myself to that fate

Remus' smile broadened

"At some point" I quickly added

Remus's smile faltered and he did the piercing glare thingy

"Lily…"

"I said I would, didn't I? Alright, so lay off"

We lapsed into silence after that

Only to have it broken by Remus asking me if I thought rainbow robes would be becoming on McGonagall

Needless to say we soon fell back into our normal light hearted talk

It's the day after and as I said I really can't get over the cringe factor of last night, I believe they started with the wedding plans last night

The reason I say this is because when Remus and I were finally called in and it was time for us to go I couldn't help but notice that the tension had shifted. It was now my dad giving out death glares, very different from his normal happy go lucky smile

Daddy was all red when we came in, he looked me up and down, then turned to my mother and stated firmly

"No"

I don't know what he was talking about but I probably don't want to know

My mother then pursed her lips said her good byes and then quickly caught up to daddy, hurriedly trying to convince him of her view point

She failed miserably

I've never seen daddy this mad, all I know is that he is not at all happy with the old bat. He's perfectly normal with the rest us, just not her.

She must have done something particularly seedy to get him this peeved, I mean my dad puts up with most things that other men wouldn't, but this one issue seems to have him quite up in arms

This morning Will is stressing about having to meet with the Ludwigs

I can't help but smirk

This can only mean that I am no longer a priority, thank the heavens for that

Annie has made me her wondrously delicious chocolate chip cookies again so they are my breakfast

I've been contemplating what Remus was telling me last night and I have to admit he was right, I mean just before James asked me to dance I was thinking how lucky any girl would be to have him after her and yes I did for a second or two wish it was me

That much I have admitted to myself

The Anna part has won over again and I'm ready to give James a chance to prove himself, I've already forgiven and reconciled with all my friends so really the Anna reasoning has subtly won the war even if it did lose a few battles

Blasted brain is so bloody treacherous

Alright so I'll give him a chance, I have fully accepted that in my mind, however letting other people in on that tiny bit of information is slightly harder. Well, it's not like they really need to know, now is it?

Okay so they would probably appreciate it but they kept me in the dark so it's only fair I have my revenge

… right?

Right

Okay, damn these cookies they make me feel so bleeding good that I just become to agreeable and will comply to any haphazardly put together argument that comes my way

Bollocks!

Petunia's just made her entrance

Apparently she didn't sleep a wink last night trying to choose those ruddy flowers

Guess what she chose?

Big surprise this…

White roses!

She's Barmy

Bloody barmy

Oh dear lord I can't wait till she decides on the colour of her nails, another tremendously imperative issue, but will she go with the _traditional _French manicure or will she flip her lid and paint them red with black stripes?

I'm betting ten quid on the French manicure

* * *

Hello everyone! Yes, I'm quite aware that a number of people would like to dismember me but I'm really very sorry, truly I am, the chapter's should be coming out a lot quicker now since it's almost my school holidays so therefore I can devote all my time to writing this story rather than learning about the trade cycle and trying to remember the functions of the endocrine system, which I should be doing right this very moment instead of this

Thank you all so much for your reviews I really appreciate the encouragement and the constructive criticism , this way I can improve all the chapters on my laptop and one day reload them, I lazy ok, I just have to motivate myself

Anyway Thanks again and Enjoy!

Please remember to…

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	30. The Piranha Pit

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

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**Thursday 30th December – My Room ****  
**  
I hate polo

I mean really hate polo

For a start the way those pathetic excuses for human beings treat their horses is disgusting and I believe that they deserve an even worse fate than my future cockroachdom, I think that they deserve to become one of the stable hands that has to look after all the less desirable features of horse ownership

Imagine Edward Drakefield with poopascoopa

maniac grin

Oh yes that definitely sounds good

Would serve him right too

The definition of arrogance is to kind for him, he's the original wanker, thinking that he's God's gift to women, me in particular

I almost died of shame when he winked at me earlier today

There I was in my matching designer skirt and jacket with coordinating blouse, shoes and hand bag, surveying the polo match surroundings, thanking my lucky stars that I was yet to run into Lady Drakefield or Morgan Le Fay

I was just thinking about the poor horses when the players took the field as Drakefield went past he winked at me in the seediest of manners

I stood rooted to the spot absolutely horrified that he made such a flirtatious gesture in such a public place

Of course it didn't go unnoticed and before I knew it Morgan had sashayed her way over to me, she probably needs to let her inner demon out on someone

"Lillianna, how wonderful to see you again, I don't believe I've seen you at a polo match for at least a couple of seasons"

Two faced and not a particularly nice person

I'm getting out of this conversation as quickly as possible

"Yes, well seeing as mother thought schooling in France was best it really is hard to come home for the polo matches, though I dare say it's easier for you Morgan, don't you go to St Hilda's school for girls?"

I added in a falsely sweet smile

Morgan's lips tightened

St Hilda's school for girls is a prestigious private school but more affordable than most and has many students from an upper middle class background, needless to say Morgan was not impressed to have this subject brought up

"Yes, but I prefer to be close to my family, I don't think it's proper for young women to be long distances from their families, they become detached from their role"

Touché

I think I may have touched a bit of a sore spot

"You know, Lady Drakefield sees family orientation as a necessity in young women. I can't imagine her ever allowing Teddy, you know Edward, to marry some one who doesn't value family as a top priority"

Ah, so that's what this is about – Edward Drakefield

I raised my eyebrows at Morgan

"Really? Well I'm sure he'll find some one suitable"

Morgan surveyed me for a second then narrowed her eyes

"Listen here you little upshot, Edward Drakefield is mine, Mother has been talking with Lavinnia for years now, so if you know what's good for you you'll keep your grotty little paws off Edward" she hissed

I took a step back

I'm not terribly fond of spittle myself

See why I call her Morgan Le Fay?

She's pure evil

Before I could respond, Lavinnia Drakefield herself swanned up to us

"Hello Morgan, Lillianna, I hope you enjoy the match"

Morgan gave a smile that could make treacle look bitter

"Oh I'm sure we will, Edward is such a wonderful player"

I don't know what's scarier: how fast she can rip her mask of kindness off or how fast she can pull it back on

Nasty to nice in 0.02 of a second

Bloody freaky

Lavinnia smiled fondly at Morgan

"It's nice of you to say dear" She turned her attention to me "Do you mind if I have a word Lillianna?"

I had no choice really as she took me by the crook of the arm and started to lead me to the tea area

The look Morgan sent me was enough to chill my blood

She may only be a year older than me but my God she's horrid, it doesn't help that she's a complete trollop, a yoyo knickered trollop at that

"Lillianna dear how is your father? Lady Ludwig was telling me how your charming brother William had to rush off this morning half way through tea to help him"

Bloody William

He can't even last an hour of this bollocks before making up some God awful excuse while I'm stuck here for the whole day, now I have no one I can talk to in an even moderately normal manner

Time to lie my heart out

"Oh, I'm sure it's not a life and death situation, I believe that Daddy merely needed William's help with some documents he's going through, Daddy likes to involve William as he will one day have to take Daddy's place and he feels William needs to be properly prepared"

Livinnia smiled

"Good, good, what an excellent idea! It is only right that our future lords are fully aware of the responsibilities waiting for them"

Thank God she doesn't have a daughter, she'd be all over Will like a rash

"Now you have to let me introduce you to some good friends of mine, this is Lady Wrightwood and Josephine Henley the Countess of Wickham"

I almost died

Sitting in front of me were the two most wrinkled and shrivelled creatures I had ever seen, I was afraid if I breathed they would disintegrate into a pile of dust

Give me Morgan any day at least that doesn't cause vegetablisation

After half an hour of useless prattle, the game started. I felt as though I was about to explode. The treatment of the horses had my anger threatening to take me over and the mindless, arrogant comments by this shrivelled up old maids was enough to tip me over the edge

The edge of what you may ask? Well personally I'd prefer a cliff but that may just be me

I quickly excused myself under the pretence of 'powdering my nose' and was about to make my get away when Morgan pounced

"Look here Evans, I know what you're trying to do and it won't work! Edward is mine so don't you – "

Before I knew what I was doing I had grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the prune sisters, who had actually seen Moses part the red sea

"Lady Drakefield, Morgan here was just telling me about how important she felt polo was to the operation of society and how it helps the maintain cooperation and socialisation of people in our society, didn't you Morgan"

She just stared at me

"Well I personally think it has many wondrous qualities and effects on society and I would love to discuss them with you but I'm dreadfully sorry I have to go find my mother for a moment, but I promise to come be right back. Morgan perhaps you could expand on what you were telling me for Lady Drakefield?"

After that I quickly dashed off, leaving Morgan gaping while the old ducks gave her admiring smiles

'wondrous qualities and effects' – Pft! What a load of wank! I think I could even out do my mother in talking my way out of things, I astound even myself with the amount of complete bollocks that pours from my mouth

'wondrous qualities and effects'- yeah of turning perfectly sane, alright not perfectly sane but sane enough, teenage girls into complete mental cases

Ugh!

Hopefully Livinnia and the ancient nannies will be too caught up with Morgan's wonderful values and views that they'll forget about me

What I would do for an invisibility cloak at this moment

For the rest of the game I spent my time feeding the ducks with a couple of scones I smuggled from the tea room, they were as hard as stone I had to soak them in water first before I could break them up for the ducks. '_Our society'_, as my mother so often refers to it, really need to review their choice of caterers

I love feeding the ducks

My nanna, Daddy's mother, used to take me to feed them when I was little, it's the only thing I can remember about her

So really it could be said that I feed them in memory of her

Oh lordie, I'm such a sap

Oh well, being a sap is good, you can basically be extreme about everything and all you have to say is 'I'm emotional' and people just accept it

Cool, huh?

Yes, sappage is definitely good

I was quite happy siting under the weeping willows feeding the ducks, there was no reason for anyone to bother me. Only William, mother dearest and myself came to the game today and even then it was against the wishes of Will and I

Petunia was quite upset about the fact that she would miss the polo but she said she needed to set her priorities straight - the colour of the tablecloths at the reception came first

She's a nut

Anyway once the last hoot thing went to signal the end of the game I deliberately dawdled on my way back to the playing ground

Apparently I didn't dawdle enough

Just as I made it to the grounds Edward swooped down upon me

"Lillianna! I've been looking for you everywhere! Did you see my last goal, good wasn't it?"

I gave a pained smile

"Excellent! I haven't seen such finesse since the late Harold Edwards!"

Harold Edwards was some famous polo played that Tuna was always raving about, she was depressed for days when he was killed in a car accident last year, basically became a recluse to signify her mourning

I was hoping she'd take it one step further and become a nun

Unfortunately not all dreams come true

"Thanks Anna! Do you mind if I call you Anna, it's just I heard your brother call you that"

Bugger!

"No, not at all, well Edward – "

"Please call me Ted"

Ugh! I groaned inwardly

"Ted, you played… er… really… well, but you see I have to go my mother and I need to get home to see how my father and brothers are going, a little emergency cropped up at home and I really need to find out if everything is all right"

"Of course Anna, I understand – family first"

He winked at me again

"Well, bye Edward"

"Ted"

"Right, Ted, well bye Ted"

I rushed off after this to find my mother and to get home a quickly as possible

I'll have to thank Will for that excuse later… after I finish screaming at him for deserting me

When we finally got home I started my search for Will but not before I got changed from that horrid dress into jeans and a jumper which got me a very disapproving look from mummy dearest

I spent a good hour searching our entire house

I even peeked into the quilting room, you never know, Tuna could have hauled him in there to give his opinion on whether cream or off white would look better on the tables

Not there

But I was given a glare for interrupting her concentration

How much concentration do you need to choose white tablecloths?

It's the truth! They will just end up being plain white, we all know it, even Petunia knows it! She just wants to feel more in control, something to do with feeling powerless or some other psychobabble…

Ask Aunt Lizzie, that's her area of expertise

It's beyond me

I also tried Daddy's study but he wasn't there either, Daddy was pouring over some papers when I came in, he only gave me a small smile before returning to his work

I'll have to investigate as to what has him in such a horridly bad mood with the old bat, but right now I'm more concerned with finding Will

It eventually twigged that Harry wasn't running around like mad either, that lead me to come to the conclusion of quidditch – it's the one thing that causes ultimate peace in our household

I made my way down to the bottom of our gardens, we have a small wood on our property and this just happens to be perfect for a Quidditch pitch. The oak trees have grown extremely large, courtesy of Will, so the players can fly rather high

I stalked my way onto the pitch

I was quite peeved by this point. My darling big brother had left me to rot in the company of the bloodthirsty savages that were possibly the only beings to witness the big bang. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts of betrayal I didn't give a second thought to the five other players on the pitch, I was focused solely on Will

Will saw me and landed about ten foot away from me

"You left me to rot in the company of Lavinnia Drakefield and her decrepit ladies in waiting so that could play quidditch! Did you not think for even a second that maybe you could have taken me as well?"

Will gave me a blank look

"You looked happy talking to some brunette so I thought I'd let you be"

He's a horrid liar

"Morgan! Happy talking to Morgan? Have you gone completely bonkers? And you know very well that I hate polo!"

Will grinned

"Sorry?"

Oh no he doesn't, he's not going to charm his way out of this one

"Tell me Will, how was Lady Ludwig and her daughter Beatrice? Did you enjoy their company? Because you know very well I could inform mother dearest how darling you think Beatrice is"

I flashed my eyes

"Lavinnia Drakefield Will! Do you have any idea what a bore that woman is?"

I looked around for support I noticed Remus

"Remus! You've met her right? Please inform my demented brother of the torture he left me too"

Remus suppressed a grin

"Lily has a point there Will, Lavinnia Drakefield is rather…"

I couldn't help myself I had to butt in

"Boring? Dull? Repetitive? Annoying?… Shall I continue?"

"If you like"

I exchanged my angry expression for one of great sorrow

"You're supposed to be my heroic big brother not some spineless coward! Next time Rose Orwood asks you dance at a party don't even think about using me as a decoy"

Will got a look of dread on his face; he really doesn't like Rose Orwood, she's obsessed with him to the point of stalker tendencies

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry but I had already arranged to play quidditch with the Marauders, what was I supposed to do?"

I glared at him

"Take me with you for a start, but apology accepted. Her highness wants you in for dinner in an hour and a half and your guests are invited to stay for dinner, though you know what she's like it's an order not request"

I turned to the Marauders

"Hello, I hope you can stay for dinner, mother would like to meet you all since William has given you such admirable praise. Dinner will be served at six thirty, please don't be late and I'm sure William will let you use his facilities to freshen up"

I gave them my best society smile and started to move away

The Marauders stared at me gob smacked at my polite and clinical manner

Even Remus was surprised

As I made my way back to the edge of the forest Will caught up with me, grabbing my arm and turning me around

"What the bloody hell was that? You were treating them like they're one of mum's idiotic acquaintances"

I yanked my arm free and continued in an ice cold voice

"William, I have just been subjected to six hours of continuous egotistical prattle by social climbing gits, I am in no way prepared to tolerate you or the Marauders at this moment"

I turned to leave and he stopped me again

"That's no reason to be so… fake"

"Right now you have a choice of the epitome of politeness or the release of constrained aggravation, so excuse me while I go vent my anger by debating with Petunia about my maid of honour dress"

He backed off after that, thankfully Will is smart enough to realise if I am consciously willing to go over wedding preparations with Petunia I'm not in the right state of mind and should be avoided

I did actually go and see Petunia

My dress must be white or similar but very plain, I have been told that if I show up the bride in any way I will never see the light of day again

Fine by me it means that there is no chance I will have to where some elaborate get up with corsets, bows, ribbon and lace – hallelujah! I could kiss Petunia at this moment

Wait let me rethink that…

How about a hug? A kiss is a little to far… I could get cooties

So until six o'clock I was flicking through bridal magazines looking for a plain white dress, harder than it seems, at least in Petunia's magazines

At six my mother called me into the sitting room

I was told to go put the abhorred green dress back on, fix my hair and make up and then come down to set the table as Will's guests would be staying for dinner

I dragged my feat upstairs and stared at the formidable dress

I finally dragged it over my head and put my hair in a twist to keep it out of my way while I ate.

Make up

My absolute favourite thing in the world. I put on as little as possible – a swipe of mascara and some lip gloss, wow what a transformation!

roll eyes

When I finally came down stairs twenty minutes later Harry was already setting out placemats. Ten for dinner tonight, not that my mother minded, she loves to entertain and four strapping young men is just perfect in her mind

Harry gave me a glare when he saw me

"Are you over your grouchiness? Cos Will promised to dismember you if you acted like that again, not that I blame him seeing as you didn't even say hello to me when you came out to the pitch"

I smiled

"I'm sorry, I was in a bad mood from having to listen to mother's friends all day"

Harry gave me a look

"I know that's no excuse, I'm really sorry, I promise I'll be nice tonight, I'll even read you Peter Pan, ok? Friends?"

Harry smiled

"Friends"

"Good, now you take the forks and I'll take the spoons and I'll met you back here"

At precisely six thirty daddy was sitting at one end of the table and the wicked witch was at the other, they were miles apart and I had a feeling that whatever they have been tiffing about was yet to be resolved

Will, Harry, Sirius and Peter were on one side of the table and Petunia, myself, Remus and James were on the other respectively

Petunia was being quite social talking away asking questions about their lives and mother was doing the same. I was laughing at Harry and Sirius doing impersonations of the giant squid in their soups

Will and James were having a discrete food fight and managed to hit everyone in their line of sight except each other

My father noticed and quietly joined in

Remus and Peter were chuckling while answering questions

Thenas the second course came out my mother just had to ask that one question that could cause absolute bedlam

"What school do you boys go to? I don't remember ever meeting you before, well I know Remus obviously, but otherwise I'm quite lost"

I stopped laughing and glanced at Petunia

I prepared myself for the elbow in the ribs I was about to receive

I exchanged a glance with Remus and had to stop myself from smiling by covering my mouth

Sirius was only too happy to inform my mother about what she was missing

"Oh we go to school with Lily, we're a year above, 7th years. James here is the Head Boy"

Petunia went stock still before relaxing a little and jabbing me in the side, she realised that went they were magical and you could tell their popularity with her went down a couple of points

My mother's eyes went wide before she turned to Remus and me

"Remus, you go to school with Lillianna?"

Remus nodded

Sirius jumped in again

"Sure he does, he's one of the 7th year prefects for Gryffindor"

She narrowed her eyes at me

"Lillianna"

I looked up innocently from the plate, which I had been trying to smother my laughter with

"Yes?"

My eyes were watering with suppressed laughter

Mother's voice could have cut glass

"Why didn't you tell me that you go to school with Remus? It would have saved Vivian and myself a lot of trouble if we had known. Why it's perfect, now you can form an even closer relationship when you go back to school and Remus can even start to court you. Here I was worrying that two weeks wasn't nearly enough time to build the foundations of a relationship and well we don't have to worry about that any more do we"

She was babbling now while Remus and I tried to keep a straight face as the rest of the Marauders looked on in shock

James went bright red and choked on his chicken when courting was mentioned

Will was smirking into his soup at the look on James' face, especially since he knows about James having feelings for me

Sirius was looking confused and being Sirius he couldn't let things slide past, he decided to clear things up as to exactly what the old bat was babbling about

"What? You mean you want to get Lily and Remus together, as in couple together?"

My mother stared at him for a second unused to such a violent reaction to arranged couples

"Yes, of course, Vivian and I have had the intention of Lillianna and Remus one day uniting our families through marriage since they were young"

Sirius was outraged on his best friends behalf as James had lost all colour in his face

"You've arranged their MARRIAGE?"

Sirius was beside himself

"Yes dear, how else can I ensure my daughter has a suitable and secure future?"

Sirius stared at her

Remus and I were beside ourselves with laughter

"It's not final Sirius, we make the final decision as to who we marry, our mothers just like to be involved in the selection process" he paused to look at James "Anyway, we wouldn't be married until after my 21st birthday so don't worry, there's plenty of time for alterations"

Peter, Sirius and James' eyes all bugged out of their heads

They were astounded that Remus was seriously considering this… implausible concept

Now that was too much for me

I had to cover my mouth with both hands to stop my laughing, my head bowed with my elbows resting on the table

Tears of mirth fell from eyes as I tried to control myself

And unfortunately the rest of the table thought I was crying in despair of marrying Remus

My dad never yells, so it was quite surprising when he let rip his opinion on this matter

He got to his feet and surveyed the situation for a moment

"Look at this Elizabeth, your daughter is distraught at the fact you are marrying her off! She's not even 18! Petunia was different, Petunia is like you and is happy in your society, Anna isn't! I put up with a damn lot Elizabeth but this time I'm putting my foot down. Anna will marry whoever she wants, with or without your consent!"

I stared at him wide eyed, he had started out slightly annoyed only to end up full on yelling at my mother

So that's what he'd been so annoyed about, he didn't want me forced into marriage

My Dad's the best!

My mother jumped up

"David! That is no way to talk, especially in front of our guests!"

Daddy looked at her for a second before composing himself

"You're right, I'm very sorry you had to witness that boys, but I feel that I cannot let this matter go on any longer and keep disrupting my family. If you'll excuse me I'll retire to my study now, send my regards to your parents Remus"

'send my regards to your parents Remus' was code for: If your parents heard a word of this I'll know who told them

"Good night sir, and don't worry, they won't hear a word"

Thank God Remus didn't take it personally, it's also a plus he can read code

My mother was furious

"David get back here, we are not finished! Ugh!"

She turned back to the table

"I'm sorry but I will have to retire for the night, it was lovely to meet you all and I hope to see you all again soon. Tell your mother I'll be in touch soon Remus"

And that was code for: Your mother mentions this and I will track you down and castrate you

Severe I know but hey that's my mother

With that she stalked off to find Daddy

The rest of us were left in shock

Petunia was the first to recover

"Come on Harry let's go get some sweets before you go to bed"

"Do I have to go to bed?"

"Yes"

"Is Anna still gonna read me Peter Pan?"

"I think we'll save that for tomorrow"

As they walked out I was still staring dumb founded at the tablecloth

"Are you all right Anna?" Will asked

I looked up at him with a blank expression

It took me a couple of seconds to register what he said

"I love my Dad" I finally answered with a massive smile

Will shook his head

"Sorry, I'm just emotional but I was actually laughing not crying"

I could tell they were all thinking that the female race is a weird and unexplainable species but the 'I'm just emotional' did the trick and they accepted it

See sappage is good

"And here I was thinking that you really couldn't stand the thought of marrying me"

I laughed at Remus and gave him a hug

"No, I don't think I could ever marry you Remus but you make an excellent friend"

"Bugger, I had my heart set on it too"

Sirius couldn't be kept out of the conversation for long

"Hey what about me do I get hug too?"

I just rolled my eyes but grinned all the same

I looked around at the rest of them

"So shall we go get dessert then?"

With that we trundled off to the kitchens in search of food

"By the way are you staying the night?"

They all gave me identical impish smiles

Uh oh

I don't think I'm going to like this

Sirius broke the news

"Didn't Will tell you? We're staying for a couple of days over New Year"

Oh

My

Giddy

Aunt

Well this will certainly be interesting

Let's just hope my mother can handle having five of age wizards running around with an inclination towards blowing things up and creating mayhem

Wait scratch that

Let's just hope I can handle having five of age wizards running around with an inclination towards blowing things up and creating mayhem

I think I might go and see if Annie has any cookies left, god knows I'll need them

* * *

Hi everyone here is the next chapter, seeI told you it would be coming out quicker now that I'm almost on holidays. Once I actually am on holidays the updates will be super quick and hopefully I will be able to finish it! Yays!

Anyway, thankyou all very very very much for all your wonderful reviews

Please remember to...

R

E

V

I

E

W


	31. Marauders, Malfunctions and Madness

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Friday 31st December – Observatory ****  
**  
The Marauders have been here one day and already they're driving me mad

Instead of having two lunatic males running around trying to create havoc

Now there are six, five of which are of age and can legally preform magic

Needless to say they're quite successful in their quest to disrupt the household and send all the occupants absolutely barmy

Seemingly with me as their main target

I mean, my mind is quite disturbed enough, wouldn't you say?

Anyone who knows me is well informed of my jumpy nature and whacked out perspective on things, and most would whole heartedly agree that I was as far gone as possible without being committed to a padded room, not only for the safety of others but also my own

At breakfast this morning it was all oversized t-shirts, boxers and bathrobes

… Well except for Tuna and the old bat, they were already perfectly dressed and ready for another day of _social networking_

Pearls, matching skirt, blouse and jacket and uncomfortable shoes perfectly suited to climbing the social ladder

Out of the ten people at the table at breakfast this morning, eight were in the afore mentioned uniform of large t-shirt, boxer shorts and bathrobe

Earning the table many disapproving glances from Lucifer and her apprentice

I was blurry eyed and muttering incoherently, nursing my head in one hand while I stirred my tea with the other, when a herd of rampaging hippogriffs thundered into the dinning room

Well I thought it was rampaging hippogriffs, turns out it was just Will and the Marauders coming down for breakfast

Noisy buggers

I looked up briefly before going back to my muttering

Apparently none of them are morning people either, they were all scruffy and I doubted they had even been to the bathroom before they came down, they looked like they had literally just rolled out of bed

Mind you that's what I looked like as well

You see I wasn't sitting at the table by my free will at this horrid hour of… whatever it was, looking blearily at the clock, I could vaguely make out a seven

Oh no. If it had been left to me I would not have emerged from the warmth of my deliciously snug bed until at least ten thirty

But as it was, the decision was not mine to make

Mother dearest came banging on my door at some absurd hour of the morning shrieking for me to get up. I, of course, just rolled over and muttered vulgar profanities concerning the audacity of the person who had disturbed my blissful slumber and suggested some interesting things they could do with their morning

But the old bat was not content to merely beat on my door and then move on, no, not at all. She came in and pulled my duvet off!

This resulted in my rather loud scream of distress

Will ran in, slipper raised, with the intention of beating whatever had disturbed me or belting me over the head until I shut up… I'm not entirely sure which. I prefer to think that my older brother was concerned for my welfare, as older brothers should be

He rolled his eyes when he saw the old bat standing hands on hips ordering me out of bed as I put up a rather fierce defence. He then retreated back to his room

I can only guess that my scream was a wake up call for the majority of the household

It was probably for the best that I hadn't looked in the mirror, my hair had gone ballistic in the night and I now had a halo of frizz set off by random locks of wavy hair sticky out at odd angles

Quite fetching really

You know frizz really is the new sleek

Yes, it makes quite the statement…

Complete Nut Case

The 'I'm away with the fairies too often to groom properly' look was really what I was going for

Thankfully no one commented on my… unusual… hair style

I had just taken my first sip of tea when mother dearest sprung a rather unpleasant surprise on me

"Hurry up Lillianna, we're going shopping"

I choked on my tea and ended up spraying it all over Sirius

Remus had to thump me on the back numerous times before I got my breath back

"We?" I asked rather weakly

We?

WE?

What does she mean… we?

Oh no, I'm not going to like this

"Yes, we, as in Petunia, you and myself. You need a new dress for tonight"

I stared at her in mild shock

Another one?

What in the name of Honeydukes for?

"What on earth am I doing tonight that requires I have a new dress?"

Please, please_, please_ do not let this explanation involve the words 'society' and 'obligation' or I may just scream

"Why, didn't I tell you? We're hosting the New Years Eve party this year; you know just a couple of people round for a few drinks and since you have become an official member of society, you are obligated to attend "

She flashed me a dazzling smile before busying herself with the marmalade, effectively missing my pained look

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I hate being a member of society and the 'obligations' that come with it

Hang on…

_Hosting the New Years Eve party?_ That would explain why everything looks so… sprightly this morning, I was in an almost comatose state but not even a blind man could miss the spruce up the house had had over night, I could actually see my reflection in the varnish of the wooden armoire across from me

'You know, just a couple of people round for a few drinks' – Pft! If that isn't the biggest understatement of the decade, try the whole bloody neighbourhood!

A few drinks? Yeah, a few dozen!

Dear lord if you can survive the New Years Eve party you can survive pretty much anything, including a nuclear attack since most people end up preserved from the amount of alcohol they consume. The next morning is like walking into a biology lab with all the specimens swimming in formalin

Even worse, my presence is required!

In the name of all things chocolately and sweet please, _please_, let me get through tonight

Of course the prospect of going dress shopping with Tuna and her majesty went down spectacularly well with me

The male congregation of the table was sniggering into their toast at my disgusted look when I received this unfortunate news

The little appetite I had suddenly disappeared as comprehension settled in. I was going to be dragged from shop

to shop

to shop…

to shop

We will save a lot of time by saying this…

Torture

Pure torture

I have no idea how many dress shops I have been into today and truthfully I think it's best that I don't, I may become mental unstable… oh wait I'm already at that stage… I may need to be institutionalised

But guess where we ended up

Go on guess, I dare you

_Le Secret Dress Emporium __  
_  
The ridiculous dress store with an even more ridiculous name that happens to be Tuna and the old bat's all time favourite store

Personally I think it's over rated and I also firmly believe that the whacked out, self important sales assistant should be shot. There are only so many ways you can instructed in the process of caring for dress material before you want to smack the instructor across the head with a rather blunt, heavy object…

Usually only once

Unfortunately for me I ended up in the care of said sales assistant and was ready to test the theory that you can drown in only a teaspoon of liquid using the complimentary fresh orange juice… I was undecided on who would be a better candidate – the sales assistant or me

After two hours of unsuccessful dress hunting with the sales assistant, who would be quite at home in a horror movie with the two inch talons and er… unique hairstyle that involved a heck of a lot of teasing and bloody strong hairspray, I was ready to take the next dress flung in my direction

I had reached the end of my will to live, they'd broken me

There were polka dots to the knees

Floor length, granny nightgown ensembles

Multiple layers of taffeta

Lace for miles

One that revolted me especially was a dark green dress, if you can call it that…

I swear it could fit a five year old, I mean the skirt was threatening to ride up and expose my unmentionables to the entire shop _while I was standing still_. This was enough to contort my face with disgust but that wasn't all…

The top came down so low I don't see how anyone could wear a bra while wrapped in this flimsy piece of material these people call a dress, when I pointed this out to Lily Munster here, she simply replied you didn't.

This threw me a bit

Okay, that's a horrid lie, it threw me entirely

Why on earth would you wear something that required you to refrain from wearing a bra, don a thong and exposes your chest and your arse at the same time?

It's definitely beyond me.

Far beyond

As soon as the thong was mentioned I turned on my heel and stalked off to the change room, exposing stripy underwear to the boutique's unfortunate occupants

I mean really, a thong? Have these people gone completely barking mad? Who in their right mind can feel comfortable with their arse hanging out and a piece of string riding up their… well that area?

shudder

After that they just got worse, I was well and truly ready to take the next dress that actually fit properly, did not expose areas of skin that had never before seen the light of day and did not make me look like I was in the same age bracket as batty old aunt Dotty

Thankfully it turned out to be a black cocktail dress and was labelled suitable by the self appointed Supreme Court

I had been forced into dresses of every colour – glittering gold, shimmering silver, poison green, pretentious purple, macabre maroon, Prussian blue, awe inspiring aquamarine, startling white, racy red, canary yellow – only to have the matriarch decide on black

Black

It's a nice hue and all (not colour, as Tuna continually reminds me, but a hue of grey) but really, even they can do better than that, it's just so… mundane

Not that I voiced this opinion, I was more than ready to go home and arguing would only prolong my time in this horrendously real nightmare of a shopping trip

Since I was getting a new dress I had planned on getting another pair of killer heels out of this shopping trip of horrors but by the end of it all, I decided that getting home as quickly as possible was the only way to ensure I wasn't going to be admitted to St Mungo's spell damage ward for those who are certified as emotional and physical wrecks

Oh well it's just another chance to where my darling sparkly shoes from the school ball, which lifted my mood considerably

This afternoon has been madness and I think should reserve one of those beds on the spell damage ward, I think I'm going to need it

Daddy, the old bat and Tuna have gone out to the fiancée's parents for lunch and won't be back till at least five

As you can imagine the boys have taken full advantage of having the house to themselves for this afternoon. I think they have invented a new game of sorts, I'm not entirely sure what it is but I do know it involves flying down the corridors at full speed with everyone after you.

It also involves couch cushions, how I don't know, but it is a vital part of the game.

And when they're not flying their brooms indoors or molesting throw cushions, they're blowing things up

I go to make myself some noodles and the bowl of freshly cooked noodles explodes all over the kitchen

I was quite upset about this seeing as I had quite a craving for noodles

I go to watch the television in the games room and the couch explodes as I sit down, feathers and stuffing everywhere

I go into the observatory searching for my herbology book that I had left in there and my mother's prized begonia explodes and colourful, petal confetti fills the air

Each time I get the scare of my life and end up frozen with shock for about half a minute until I hear suppressed giggles and am confronted with six angelic faces

The lot of them have issues

Just because I happen to be the only living creature in the house at the moment, Merry and Riley have flown the coop (otherwise I believe there would have been explosions of owl feathers), gives them no right to attack me

After the encounter in the observatory I retired to the upstairs sitting room with one last glare and a good book

Hoping against all odds that they finally got the message and went back to that blasted game they were creating. I think they still had a couple of glitches they need to smooth out… such as what the point of said game is

I ultimately got bored with the book and you could say I tried to daydream but my mind kept wandering

I had just started singing 'the song that never ends' when I decided enough was enough, I really needed to put on the radio

_'It's the song that never ends' __  
_  
Damn I really need the radio on

_'It goes on and on my friends' __  
_  
Just my luck that the damn thing happens to be feeling rather unsocial

_'Some people started singing it, not know what it was' __  
_  
Please, please work

_'And they'll continue signing it forever just because ….' __  
_  
Bloody thing, never trust a goblins I tell you, they're sneaky creatures, they sell you dodgy, dodgy radios

_'It's the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends' __  
_  
All right I'm resigned to the fact that I will have this blasted song in my head, it's not all bad I mean I could have the chicken song instead….

Actually I prefer that one, it has a little dance that goes with it

Bugger

I turned around thoroughly annoyed at Will and his goblin bought radio, also at myself for letting that stupid song get a hold of me –

Bloody hell!

I just got the scare of my life, I think I jumped about a foot in the air

Sitting on the couch quietly watching me was James Potter

"Hi" he said

I looked at him like he was mildly insane

That was more a statement than a greeting considering I've spent the larger part of my afternoon being terrorised by him and the other five prats

"Er… Hi ?"

He kept staring at me

"What song where you humming? You sounded like you were going round in circles"

Excellent observation Dr Watson – _that's the point _

"It was 'the song that never ends', can I… er… help you? Have you lost your way to the quidditch pitch or something?"

He continued to watch me as I squirmed a bit, still standing in the middle of the room

Hey, you'd be rather squirmish too considering the circumstances, I mean this is the bloke who effectively screwed around with my life for a whole term, you'd be smidge uncomfortable too if you were alone in a room with your stalker studying you now, wouldn't you?

Course you would!

He was really starting to freak out, I was just beginning to count how many paces it was to the door when he spoke

"Yes you can help me actually"

I stopped eyeing the door to look at him

"Really? Well, I suppose I can, if you go to the end of the corridor, go down the stairs and out the back door, all you have to do is follow the garden path to the very bottom and you'll find the Quidditch pitch"

Well there's my attempt at leading him down the garden path… both figuratively and literally, hopefully he'll take the hint

"Lily"

Uh oh, it's _the tone_

That 'we have to talk' tone

I hate that tone

"Yes?"

"Sit down"

He patted the seat next to him

Hmmmmmmm… no, I don't think so, I'm good thanks

I like standing, less chance of contracting deep vein thrombosis, it really is horror of an aliment, I doesn't just effect you in planes you know

"I'm good"

He gave me a look

"Really. I'm good here"

He sighed

"Lily when are you going to stop fighting me and just talk to me"

"I'm talking to you now aren't I? And I'm not fighting with you; at least I don't think I am"

The 'fighting' comment got me a bit muddled

Fighting him? Sure I blow up at him every now and then but I don't actually 'fight' with him… that would mean we have an actual connection of some sort

It actually had me rather confused

"No, you're not talking to me like you would a friend, you're guarding your words and your emotions"

And? Is there a problem with that? I mean it's not like he is actually a friend, also my encounters with Potter lately have not exactly led me to believe he's exactly a trustworthy guy

Plus I don't do emotions, I don't deal with them very well

"And you've been fighting me since the beginning of the year"

I thought about that

I have?

Really?

All I came up with was:

Huh?

My obvious bewilderment must have shown as James decided to elaborate

"Ever since I met you on the train in September you have resisted me and any attempt I made to interact with you"

Ugh!

That word: engage

Not the best word choice considering my present circumstances with mother dearest

Resisted? I don't know about that

Alright when I think about it I was a little… defensive, but who can blame me, his reputation precedes him

Oh sod it I made assumptions, not good, I hate people who make assumptions

I shall have to give myself a good talking to later

"At first this is what intrigued me about you, you weren't like the many other girls who vied for my attention, and I had to work for praise from you when it poured in from all other sides."

I raised my eyebrows

Humble much?

"What? It's true, but you were different. On the train you were so indignant and then in the kitchens you hardly spared Sirius and I a second glance"

True that, I thought that had rather angered the dastardly duo and it seems that Potter really took it to heart

But that's just my nature, I'm not what you would call receptive to such antics

"Do you have any idea the number of times I tried to get your attention?"

I shook my head

Of course I bloody well didn't know!

We wouldn't be having this conversation if I did!

"A bloody lot! And yet you seemed to just brush me off, either you went off with your friends, fussed over Daniel Diggory or ignored me completely, so I entailed the help of my dear friend Sirius"

I glared at him

I knew where this was heading and I didn't like it

"Which in hind sight was probably the first mistake in long line of many"

You don't say

My legs were beginning to ach

To hell with deep vein thrombosis

I sat down on the second couch facing Potter

Unfortunately Potter took this as encouragement

"Look, Lily"

He raked a hand through his already insanely messy hair

Potter seemed to be having real trouble getting out whatever it was he wanted to say

He looked at his lap and continued in a very solemn voice

"Lily, I really am sorry, I'm sorry about Daniel and about Regulus Black giving you such a hard time and about… well everything"

I was starting to melt, I could feel it, it was starting in my knees. But then something that he had said entered my mind

I had 'resisted him' and this 'intrigued' him?

Well then, what happens when I no longer intrigue him?

What happens if I give in?

This is all a big challenge to him. I'm the one girl who doesn't throw herself at the feet of the Great James Potter, so he's interested simply because I'm not? Considering his track record I'd say he'd get bored once he had over come the challenge

My face must have changed, because James looked wary

"What?"

Okay here's the thing I suck at communication so I didn't voice these thoughts

"Er… nothing, just thinking"

What an understatement

James sighed

He dragged his gaze from his fidgeting fingers in his lap to look into my face with such an earnest look I couldn't help but melt completely this time

Damn him!

Oh sod it! I forgive him! I forgive him! Just quit with looking pathetic

I was going through an internal struggle

Pft! Try civil war

The Anna part had already jumped up and given him a great, bone crushing hug, while the Lily part was convinced he deserved to rot for in hell for at least another twenty years (and was mentally composing put downs?)

James obviously saw the turmoil on my face

He lent forward with the puppy dog eyes and pathetically miserable look still in place

Nooooooooooo!

Not the puppy dog eyes!

I can't handle the puppy eyes, they get me every time

"Please Lily, do you think you could give me another chance? Please?"

I sat there for a minute biting my lip and twisting my hands

"Damn it" I breathed

I'm such a sucker for puppy dog eyes

I was all ready to tell him to cut the puppy dog eyes and rack off but somehow it didn't happen

"Alright I forgive you, but if you ever pull any of those stunts again I swear your own best friend won't recognise you"

My traitor of a mouth!

My treacherous mind had already come to a different conclusion; the bloody Anna side must have bribed the little men into pulling the wrong levers

I was stunned at what I had plainly had not intended to say and was therefore unable to plan my actions accordingly

Insert awkward silence

Apparently James hadn't planned this far ahead either

I've just notice but these 'awkward silences' are becoming a regular occurrence in my life recently and they're bloody annoying at that

I fell back onto my all time favourite back up plan

"Shall we go raid the kitchen for some cookies and ice cream?" I asked while quirking a smile

James beamed back at me

Hey it's the best way to start things off, I have no idea what he thinks is going on now but for me I'm keeping him firmly at arms length, only sort of friends

As I've already stated I don't communicate well but I think the cookies and ice cream was universally seen as a peace offering

So the status is friends… for now anyway

We had a grand time joking around and stuffing ourselves with gingerbread men, that was until the vulture returned to her nest

Ugh!

You'd think that Will would have learned by now to clean up after himself. Mother dearest caught sight of the downstairs living room and announced her arrival home with an ear splitting screech

Will copped it big time

He only escaped a the guillotine because he happens to be mother's favourite… and she didn't see what became of her prized begonia

I was promptly called for and told to go get ready

Of course its much too early to have to put all that gunk on my face so I decided to occupy myself in here

I must say that is one excellent doodle of Goldstein the muggle studies professor

Okay so it's a stick drawing but it has all the essentials, massive handle bar moustache, pompous expression, robes starched to within an inch of their life

knock, knock

There's some one at the door, hopefully it's just Harry or someone

"Lily, are you in your dress yet"

Bollocks!

It's Tuna

Apparently she's been sent by mother to make sure I actually get dressed properly, you know, a pound of make up and a can of hairspray, properly

If I make it through tonight I swear I'll give up cookies for a week

… maybe not

I'll share the joy of sweet chocolate chip baked goods with numerous people by giving them to every person I come across for a week instead

Yeah that sounds good, should get me over the line

* * *

Hello everyone, I'm sorry it took me so long to update it's just I had trouble with 'the talk' between Lily and James. I would really appreciate constructive criticism on 'the talk' and on Lily's attitude afterward

Please tell me what you think and remember….

**R**

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**V**

**I**

**E**

**W**


	32. Double, Double Toil and Trouble

**Absolute Shocker**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

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**Sunday 2nd January – Hogwarts Express, A Random Carriage, Far, Far, Far Away From My Friends **

I shall explain my lengthy title for this entry with the simple statement that the twins are much too excitable for their own good and they jump to conclusions much too quickly but more on that later

Yesterday was all a bit of a daze; I mean it was New Year's Day

I had an entirely lazy day yesterday, I didn't wake up till about midday and even then I was not looking forward to getting out of bed.

Annie was a doll and made everyone hearty breakfasts to counter the effects of hangovers and she even made me cookies.

The afternoon was splendid I got to laze around in pyjamas watching telly while stuffing my face with the delicious, freshly baked cookies. I was half there, awake but not sort of watching the… whatever program was on but not taking much in.

Last night however, I finally remembered that we have to go back to school today. I was running around like mad between my room, the laundry, the library, where all my books had migrated to, and various other rooms in the house. The Marauders were packing their trunks as well, they had somehow lost an important piece…something, they wouldn't tell me what, and were searching the house from top to bottom in hopes of finding it.

I eventually found it; completely by accident I'll have you know.

I came across a weird bit of parchment when I was collecting my school things. All my books and holiday homework were in the library and from what gather Claire, our cleaning lady, must have put every piece of spare parchment with the rest of mine. Obviously I was curious about since it was old and tatty and all of mine was new and clean, I don't keep notes form my friends and all my class notes were stored away.

I just tossed it aside as I was currently looking for my wand that I had be practising movements with. As I shuffled papers around, a rather large stack became unbalanced and tipped over; my wand had been in said papers and fell on the tatty piece of parchment.

The piece of parchment promptly told me to keep my cute as a button nose out of other people's business

I screamed when the words started appearing. Very girly thing to do I know, but this is to do with the wizarding world and anything that can think for itself with no indication of actually having a brain to think with deserves to treated with suspicion, especially since Voldemort has started his 'all muggleborns are scum' campaign

Of course Will, Harry and the Marauders all came running to see what the hell was going on

I looked at the parchment fearfully with big eyes

"That piece of parchment just told me to mind my own business!" I cried out indignantly

James and Remus looked relieved while Sirius and Harry both thought it was highly amusing that I was scared f a piece of parchment. Only Will seemed to share my concern, he too was wary of the danger we were in due to our 'muggleborn' status and the threat of Voldemort

"Did you try to get it to reveal itself?" Sirius asked

I looked at him like he was mental

"No, my wand fell on it when these papers fell over"

James had picked it up and Will was looking over his shoulder

"How much of this did you read?" Will inquired

I gave him a puzzled look

"You mean there's more?" I was looking at the lot of them as though they were completely bonkers

"Yeah, it's something we, the Marauders invented, it's a piece of parchment that insults anyone who tries read it, it's quite entertaining really" Remus explained

If you ask me he was explaining away the incident

"Thanks for finding it for us, it's prototype for something we've been working on" said Peter

They had hunting been the whole sodding the house for _that_? A ratty piece of old parchment?

Must be some bleeding prototype

Will seemed satisfied with this explanation and was actually laughing at some of the comments made by the ingenious piece of parchment

I gave them a look that said they were all mad and waltzed off to my room with my school supplies to finish packing

Speaking of Waltzing… I can't remember much past my second cup of punchat mother's New Years Eve bash.

I can remember wishing I could leave

I can remember wondering about the spirit to fruit juice ratio of the punch was on about my third glass

And I can vaguely remember Edward Drakfield being a complete tosser

Another thing was… Have you noticed that the level of alcohol consumed and the level of proper behaviour have an inverse relationship?

I mean Virginia Forbes Barrett is the original Ms High Society and even she is spotted snorting into her eighth champagne over some vulgar joke told by Jeremy Ravensdale, who she usually avoids due to his 'potty mouth humour'

They all get personality transplants

There was even singing

Yes that's precisely what sealed the deal for me to get out of there as fast as possible; I remember I went to find Will and the Marauders; however I never quite got there…

I was ambushed by Edward 'Teddy' Drakefield

Needless to say he had consumed his fair share of alcohol seeing as he is 20 after all, he was just gone past the tipsy state and was verging on the state of not being able to stand up straight

"Anna" he slurred "You look simply stunning"

Well that's a good thing to know, he's his usual charming self even when he's off his nut

He looked me up and down

Okay maybe not so much with the charming…

I think the alcohol addled his brain and his sleazy side was allowed to escape the box it's usually confined to

He stared at my face for a couple of seconds before looking back at the dress

Talk about uncomfortable, true my dress has nothing on the green one but it's still categorised as 'sexy'. My hair was reminiscent of some Mexican senorita with curls everywhere and the front bits pinned back with my usual side part. Tuna had piled on the make up as well; you know the tar pits look is oh so attractive

I hated the way Edward was looking at me

That look would be the prime reason why I usually wear jeans and overly large jumpers with my hair in a simple ponytail or bun; you attract far less attention from seedy mongrels such as 'Teddy'

"Er… thanks Edward, you look… well"

I smiled, admittedly it was extremely strained but I was vaguely trying to be polite while he stared at my chest

"_Ted_, Anna, call me _Ted_" he chastised with a scowl on his face

Bloody hell – Does this boy have hang-ups or what?

I mean there's no reason to get all angsty on me for sod's sake

"Oh sorry _Ted_, I forgot"

He screwed up his face all tight and had this expression of great pain; he went all red as well

"You forgot? How do you forget? I mean I am trying rather hard to get close to you and you forget!"

His words were almost indecipherable with all the slurring, really makes him seem eloquent

What is it with these blokes and trying to get 'close'?

I really don't understand it

Edward rolled his eyes at my bewildered look

"Maybe you are too young to understand" he mumbled

Understand what?

That you're a gigantic prat? No, see, I got that loud and clear

"Come dance with me"

That wasn't an invitation, it was a command

That's another thing; people seem to think I'm some meek little shrinking violet that doesn't mind being pushed around

Well '_Ted_' has another thing coming if he thinks he can push me around

I yanked my arm free from his grasp as he pulled me over to the dance floor and gave him one of my nasty glares

"If you don't mind I really do not feel like dancing. I was actually going to get a drink"

I said it in a voice that any sane person would recognise as a 'don't mess with me' voice…

Unfortunately for me, as I have already explained, this particular person's brains had been addled

"I said dance with me, you silly little girl, you should learn to respect your elders"

I gave him a disgusted look

Does this look like the Dark Ages or something?

Women are no longer compelled to do everything a member of the male species tells them and even in the Dark Ages it was male relatives that had the power not just random men

"I said I don't feel like dancing, therefore I am not going to… Whether you command it or not"

Teddy went purple

"How dare you! You are nothing but an immature and foolish little girl, beautiful but undoubtedly foolish, you need to learn some respect!"

Ohhh, now he's done it

"And you need to learn some manners if you ever expect to find yourself a girl! I don't know what century you're living in but in the 20th century women do not have to answer to the orders of arrogant little berks like you"

I turned on my heel and stalked off

"You'll be hearing from my mother!" he called after me

Pft! As if I care what she thinks

Okay I admit I snapped

But he deserved it

Ordering me around, just who does he think he is?

Stupid wanker

So you can tell that the evening went spectacularly well.

I never did get the lecture from Lady Drakefield or my mother so I'm guessing 'Teddy' realised he was in the wrong

Though it could have been because he was preoccupied with Morgan in the rose bushes, geez I never wish to see such a spectacle again in all my life. They were trying to eat each other, I wasn't sure if they were making out or trying to maul each other, they got what they deserved either way…

I'm almost positive I spent the night with Will and the Marauders, dancing with Will so that Rose Orwood wouldn't come over kidnap him. I can remember James and Sirius playing a prank of some sort just not sure what it was… but it was hilarious whatever it was.

Now that I have given an account of the last couple of days I will explain my title: My friends are far too quick to come to conclusions than is good for me

This morning, Oliver drove the Marauders and myself to the train station and Will came along for the ride. Well wouldn't it be just my luck that Tri and the twins happened to drive up just as we were getting out of the car. Had they come five minutes later I could have convinced them that we simply arrived at the same time but no they had to show up at the exact moment that Sirius Black was getting out of our car closely followed by James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew

"Sweet Merlin! Lily!"

At those words I froze

I was not going to be able to explain this one away

I nervously turned round

"Hey Bridget, Dana, Tri, how were your holidays?"

Dana and Bridget lunged at me

"Thank Merlin you're talking to us again!" sang Bridget as she strangled me from the ferocity of her hug

"Our holidays were alright, you know the usual. The real question is how were your holidays Lily?" interjected Dana eyeing off the Marauders over my shoulders

"Er… alright I suppose, Will befriended the Marauders so they stayed at our place over New Year and I had to try very hard not to dismember them"

The twins got evil looks on their faces; I think Tri noticed because he jumped into the conversation

"Hey Lily! Did you like you presents?" he asked giving me a hug

"Oh they were excellent thank you, did you like yours?"

Tristan smiled

"Yeah that Puddlemere United book is great and Cam was stoked with the ultimate pranksters' kit, we knew you'd forgive us at one stage or another after that"

I returned the smile

Through out this the Marauders had been fumbling with trunks and animals and making arrangements with Will for Easter

"So Lily what was it like living with the Marauders?"

Oh sod it! I should have known Dana wouldn't drop this

I was just about to answer 'you should know, since we do live with them already, sort of any way', when Will interrupted

"Oi Anna are you gonna come say good bye or what?"

Once I said goodbye when went to the platform and got on the train, the Marauders went off to find themselves a compartment and we went to find a compartment, well more accurately the compartment with Rhi in it.

Once we found Rhi, Cam and Nessa where already there.

Time for the interrogation to begin

And believe me Dana and Bridget put the 'terror' in interrogation

As soon as the doors shut they exploded with questions about the Marauders, Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you invite us over? What did you do with them? Did you talk to James? Did you make up with him? Are you two going out now?

Dana and Bridget were bearing down on me with such determined looks on their faces I did the only sensible thing I could think of….

I ran

I admit it; I left my Gryffindor pride in my other set of robes. I ran like a scared little slater bug that knows a big looming thing that happens to be a persons shoe means the ultimate death. Though why on earth they would want to prolong their meaningless little lives I've no idea, seriously if I was a slater bug I would go looking for the big, looming thing in hopes that my next life wouldn't be nearly as boring as my last…

But maybe slater bugs don't believe in reincarnation and think that if they do die they just sort of float off into space or worse they get to go to slater bug hell…

Man, it would suck to be a slater bug

But anyway what was I talking about?

Oh yes, my cowardice, well anyone with two brain cells too synapse would realise the ultimate danger of my oh so lovely friends and their interrogations. Anyone who is not touched in the head would run just to keep it that way

Also once they've exhausted the subject of the Marauders, Dana and Bridget are sure to start about Will, they've always had a crush on him and analyse him after every meeting to see if he's got 'hotter'… which is just my favourite subject, because you know I just love discussing how attractive my brother is

Ugh!

Revolting

Oh sod it, they've found me!

I'm doomed, doomed I tell you, DOOMED!

* * *

**Tuesday 4th January – Common Room ****  
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Why do teachers feel that the holidays are the ultimate time to set homework? 

I have no idea why but they think that we have nothing better to do over our holidays than write essay after essay after essay.

Bloody annoying if you ask me

Then once you get back to school they set even more homework to make sure you understood what you did on the holidays and to ensure that can actually do all the practical stuff related to the theory and essays you did on the holidays

Mad, they're all bloody mad!

If I was a teacher I wouldn't set homework for the simple reason that it would be so much less hassle, I mean think about it, no marking hundreds of essays, no supervising detentions of those smarmy brats who didn't do their assigned work and the plus side would be that the students might actually cooperate in class knowing that they wouldn't have any that night

The teachers bring it upon themselves as far as I'm concerned

So here I am sitting at a table in the common room with Dana and Nessa, already snowed under with homework and avoiding it spectacularly by writing in my esteemed diary

Okay, so I'm the definition of procrastination, I'm positive that it you looked up a dictionary it would have: Procrastinate, v. – see 'Lily Evans'. But really, who cares what effects newt tail has on a strengthening solution?

Not me that's for sure

Dana has started whining that there are no guys to perv on in the common room and that we should relocate to the library because there will definitely be some guys in there, geeky, but cute, Ravenclaws at least.

Nessa has just told her to shut up and finish her Astronomy essay before she loses her patience and sticks it where the sun don't shine

Nice, Ness, real nice

Oh look there's Remus, maybe Dana will quite belly aching now

Wait, he's coming over here, I wonder what for…

I'll just have to find out

"Hi Remus" I greeted as he approached our table

"Hey Lily, I just got a letter from my mum"

He paused to give me a significant look

I grimaced

I did not like where this was going

"Can talk to you privately for a minute"

I just nodded and told Dana and Nessa I'd be back in a second

I felt their curious gaze on me as I followed Remus to a secluded part of the common room

No doubt I would get a grilling when I got back concerning just what I had to do with Remus' mother

Sweet Merlin I haven't even told them about my coming out party let alone about being betrothed to Remus

"You're not going to like this, my mum and yours are still conspiring even after what your dad said. I just received a highly 'encouraging' letter and I'm pretty sure your mum will be sending you one soon as well"

Oh my Lord….

"Can't we do anything, you know burn the letters or something, I mean, I'm not exactly fond of my mother's letters as it is…"

Remus just sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration

"I've no idea what we're going to do but I hope one of us thinks of something soon or else… good grief they might even come up to the school"

I looked at Remus in shock

"They wouldn't!"

Remus was about to answer when Sirius voice floated over to us

"Hey Nessa, Dana, have you seen Remus by any chance?"

This was followed by Dana's sultry voice

"Oh he's over there talking to Lily, something about his mum sending him a letter"

Remus and I both froze dreading Sirius' answer

"Oh that'll be about their nut case mothers wa–"

"Sirius! What did you want me for?"

Remus had run over and butted in therefore stopping Sirius from telling them about the 'arrangement'

"Oh yeah about that… what was it I wanted to tell you?"

Sirius took a moment to think

And that's when Dana pounced

"What do you mean 'their nut case mothers'? What do their mothers have to do with anything?"

Before Remus or I could explain Sirius answered

"Oh ever since Lily's coming out party their mother's have this whacked ou–"

Remus clapped a hand of Sirius' mouth

Thanks Sirius

"Lily's what?"

I'm dead

Oh Merlin, I'm so dead

_So unbelievably dead_

"Lily's coming out"

Nessa and Dana both gave him a blank look

"You know white dress, stuffy formal occasion where the 'young woman' is 'presented' to society" Sirius explained exasperatedly

Both heads swiveled to look at me

I smiled weakly from my hiding place between Remus

"Er… hi?"

Dana gave me a death glare

"Don't you 'hi' me Lillianna Elizabeth Evans, you had a coming out party and you didn't invite us or tell us for that matter?"

Uh oh I can see a tint of red in her eyes

Not good

"Er… about that, well, you see I really didn't want to trouble you over this whole society thing especially when it was on Christmas Eve and all…"

Dana was getting worked up

"Don't give me your pathetic excuses Lillianna; I don't want to hear them"

And with that she gathered her books then swept herself and Nessa out the portrait hole

Shit

* * *

**Thursday 6th January – Library ****  
**  
Well my week has just been peachy now hasn't it? 

Dana immediately informed Bridget, Rhi, Tristan and Cam of my _betrayal_ after her dramatic exit from the common room on Tuesday, since then She and Bridget have refused talk to me saying that they had never been so offended seeing as they were not invited to such an important event in my life.

Nessa, Tri and Cam are all highly insulted; however they are still talking to me if only in a very cool manner and when I talk to them directly…

All right so really they're all very, very upset with me, I even tried to apologise but the lot of them got huffy and stalked off

Only Rhi would listen to my explanation before coming to a decision about whether she was going to be angry with me or not

I explained to her that far from regarding this coming out thing as 'one of the most important events of my life' I see it as horrendously pompous and ultimately one of the more embarrassing moments of my life… which even Rhi admitted was saying something

Rhi, thankfully, understood how I was upset about my family's traditions but she pointed out that I should have told my friends about it. She reckons the twins are more insulted I didn't tell them about it rather than the fact they weren't invited because they think it means I don't regard them as friends because true friends share all their problems

Ugh! I knew this being unable to handle feelings and the whole bottling up problems was going to get me in trouble one day, I just didn't realise how badly

I mean out of my six closest friends, five aren't talking to me

Oh this is just brilliant

Sirius has since apologised profusely for spilling the beans and has been trying to make it up to me ever since. He and Remus invited me to sit with the Marauders during meal times and hang out with them in between classes

It's a nice gesture but in all practicality I don't think it would improve the situation. It might be seen as yet another 'betrayal' on my part, as though I've got myself new friends. As nice as the Marauders can be, even when they aren't being annoying snot bags, I want my old friends back

Just how I'm going to do that I have no idea

I better go Charlie's here for tutoring

**Girl's Dorm ****  
**  
I'm still receiving the cold shoulder

Most of the Gryffindor girls have been giving me weird looks for the last couple of days, because e it's known that our dorm members don't usually have long lasting disagreements. Sure we have 'arguments' on a regular basis, but they're usually over petty things like whose eyeliner was pinched by who and they usually only last for about two hours at the most

Our dorm is known to get along the best out of the four sixth year girls dorms, we're best friends and usually live together in harmony with the occasional blow up between the twins over some boy or whose jumper is nicer. Unlike the other dorm rooms which unfortunately don't get along as well and are know to have spats that last for up to a month before any form of reconciliation is even considered

So for one of our dorm members to be ostracised is just plain weird

I really hate the pitying looks I keep getting, bloody annoying

I just want to tell them all to SOD OFF!

But I won't 'cos that will just get me in even more trouble

On a happier note my tutoring session with Charlie was highly entertaining

He came in looking rather depressed

And me being endowed with an over load of curiosity just had to ask what was wrong

"You really want to know?" he replied with a disbelieving look

Hey he's got to give me a bit of credit I do care what happens to him

"Of course I want to know! You helped me with my various family problems maybe I can return the favour"

He gave me a calculating look

"Promise you won't laugh?"

I gave him a surprised look

"I promise, you can tell me anything and I won't laugh"

He sighed dramatically

"Fine, I like this girl in my Herbology class, she doesn't even know I exist and I have no idea how to get her to notice me"

A grin threatened to over take my face

I managed to get it down to a restrained smile

Charlie looked up from scowling at his parchment at my silence

"You said you wouldn't laugh" he cried outraged at my insensitivity

I fought to squash the grin entirely before continuing

"I'm not! I swear! Though promise me one thing"

"What?"

Awww, he's all sulky, poor widdle diddums

"You won't, under any circumstances, take advice from your brother. No offence but he's hopeless"

Charlie looked at me shocked

"You think I'd ever mention this to him! Mr. I-can-get-any-girl-I-want? Are you crazy? He'd laugh me off the face of the earth!"

I bit my lip to stop myself smiling

"You won't tell him will you? If he knew about this, well let's just say between him and Sirius I'd never hear the end of it"

I smiled softly as he stared at me imploringly

"Don't worry, I won't say anything to him, but you should talk to him, he was in your position once too you know"

He looked at me like I was stark, raving mad

"Oh don't look at me like that, he wasn't always James Potter – Hogwarts' Biggest Bachelor, he was once in the same exact position you're in. I'm sure if you talk to him he'll give you a bit of support, though for the love of Merlin please do not follow any of his or Sirius' advice"

His look didn't really change

"I'll think about it, though what do you think I should do?"

Dear lord, he's asking me for relationship advice! Of all the people he could go to and he asks me! Me! Ms I've-never-been-in-a-relationship-before!

He's definitely desperate

"Er… well you could try talking to her"

I mean what else are you supposed to do? Kidnap her?

"About what?"

Er… well um about things, like…er... you know _things_

"Herbology?"

Well it's something

"What? No! That's so boring!"

The ungrateful little…

"Well you didn't really give me much to work with; you just said she's in your Herbology class"

What am I, a mind reader?

"Yeah well she's a Gryffindor as well and she's really pretty and she kicks my arse every charms lesson"

Oh well it's good to see she has brains as well as beauty… though the whole kicking arse in charms may not be that hard

"Well I suppose you could talk to her about… I don't know, the next Gryffindor quidditch match maybe? Or you could maybe ask her to help you with some of your charms homework?"

So long as you don't brag about your own quidditch abilities I'm sure that'd be fine and well I suppose if asked sweetly enough the girl would take pity on him with the homework

"But that's what you're for!"

Oh Merlin, why was I given the thick one?

"She doesn't need to know that now does she? Maybe you could talk to her over the weekend since you don't see me until Tuesday"

And that way hopefully you'll not stuff it up too badly

"Yeah but we can't just talk about Charms homework, I want to get closer to her"

Ugh! What am I? A dating guru? I've never even been on a date!

"Well maybe you could ask her about her favourite Honeydukes chocolate or something, whatever you talk to your friends about, it's not like she's a foreign species or anything"

Though sometimes I doubt that theory

"But I get all tongue tied and go bright red and all that and I don't know what to say"

It's called being nervous, a foreign concept in your family

"Ugh! Well you're talking to me now aren't you?"

For all things chocolately it's not that hard

"Yes"

He's giving me a look that says 'duh'

"I'm a girl, aren't I?"

Another exasperated look

"Yeah but you're different"

Am I now?

This'll be enlightening

"How so?"

Do I want to know?

Probably not, but I'm going to find out anyway

"Well, you just are, you're my charms tutor and you're just… well I don't know but I can talk to you, I just can't talk to her"

He's mighty lucky he stopped there, had he said anything else I'm 99.9 sure it would have been insulting

Right, now that we've determined I'm not nearly intimidating as this girl we can progress from there…

"Fine, just imagine it's me you're talking to me instead and that might calm your nerves a little. What's her name by the way?"

Charlie reluctantly answered

"Melissa Greenly"

Right, Melissa Greenly, I vaguely know her as a Gryffindor fourth year, she's quite nice from what I remember and it's true she is very pretty, she's very sweet with dirty blonde hair, toffee coloured eyes and a sweet face.

There's something else though… I don't think she's the show pony kind anyway

I think I'll just have to go pay Ms Greenly a visit. She shares a dorm with Dianna Walter, who happens to have some DADA notes I lent her, maybe I'll get lucky and I'll see Melissa, then we can have a little chat about a certain scruffy haired blonde who is absolutely awful at charms

Charlie still isn't convinced; he thinks I'm absolutely barmy, bloody bonkers

Well maybe I am, at the moment the majority of my friends are quite annoyed at me because they weren't invited to the most degrading event of my short life and my mother is trying to set me up with Remus

Oh

My

Giddy

Aunt

I've just realised… I haven't told them about Remus and my mother's crackpot idea

Oh dear, that's just going to result in another one of these 'you should have told me' spats, now isn't it?

Maybe if I tell them about that straight after I apologise and explain about the coming out thing because technically I didn't know about the whole Remus being my ideal match until after the Christmas ball so that'll work won't it….

In theory yes, reality – not so sure

Ugh! This is exhausting; agonising sure does take it out of you

The only other thing is that I haven't seen Potter around lately, I mean I've talked to the other Marauders, I just haven't seen James…

The sad thing is, I sort of miss him

Oh dear that's not good, just what I don't need at the moment, to be missing James Potter

Well I'm sure it's just that I'm used to being annoyed beyond belief by now that it just feels weird with out him hanging around trying to make me blow up

I'm absolutely, almost, maybe 57 sure that's the reason anyway

I just reread that last part…

I think I should change my name to Cleopatra and get it over with

* * *

I'm so sorry everyone for taking such a long to update,I really am, i promise to try and get the next one up sooner, I plan on letting my school work go to hell, i've had a gut full it has prevented me from writing for over a week. I promise i didn't leave you all hanging simply to get reviews and that the next one will be up next Monday 

Oh and sorry about the chapter title, I'm doing Shakespeare at the moment for English Literature and well it just feels like it goes with the over all tone of the chapter

Again I'm really sorry

Please remember to tell me what you think and ...

R

E

V

I

W


	33. Muddy Reconciliations

**Absolute Shocker **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Friday 7th January – The Astronomy Tower**

I'm deeply depressed

Pessimistic would be too kind a word to describe me at the moment

The glass isn't half full, nor is it half empty; it's down right, dry as a bone, empty

And you know, that drop form the windowsill looks mighty appealing at the present moment

What!

Don't look at me like that!

It's not like I'd ever actually go through with anything of that sort. I think I demonstrated that pretty clearly last time when I babbled about jumping out of the train only to go to the toilet…

Unfortunately I'm far too chicken to anything of that nature, I've no idea why I was put in Gryffindor, but it certainly wasn't for the courage thing, more likely the pride thing, if my pride had depended on jumping from the train moving at 90 miles an hour it would have been a whole different story….

Anyway enough with describing my suicidal tendencies, let's discuss the reasons for said suicidal tendencies

My friends

Ugh!

What a mess this has become! For the last week I have received the cold shoulder from five of my best friends, two of which have ignored me completely, the odd icy glare has been sent my way and conversations have stopped dead as soon as I approach. I convinced Rhi to act as normal and not saying anything to the others, as I need to work this out with them on my own.

As you can probably tell I've spent quite a bit of time in the library by myself this week, doing all possible homework to keep my mind off things and even extra reading because I don't want to go to the common room until absolutely necessary.

I think I've handled the whole thing rather well, I haven't responded to the glares or made any nasty comments about them being insensitive to my needs or lost my temper at them for refusing to listen to my side of the story and being ignorant little prats

I think I've been rather dignified about the whole thing, I held my head high and got on with things, just controlling my temper should earn me a round of fairy claps, let alone being noble about the whole injustice of the thing

And now after a week of mutterings, odd silences and harsh glares I've cracked and retreated to one of my favourite places, the astronomy tower, to lick my proverbial wounds in private.

I never have been one for large displays of emotion, apart from righteous anger and idiotically euphoric happiness. It's true! I'm either seething over some horrid injustice in the world or else deliriously happy without a care in the world, completely unaware of the things around me. Don't ask me why but I just don't deal well with emotions, what can I say? I have issues, like every other being on the planet….

Makes me quite the individual hey?

But that would be the prime reason why I haven't sorted things out yet with my friends, it means I have to deal with emotions, it's not the confrontation that scares me, pft! This is me we're talking about, I practically thrive on confrontation!

I was talking about it with Peter today at lunch; he thought I may have a few issues with facing people and potentially upsetting them. I nonchalantly told him to shut up and get on with his potions essay before I showed him just how fond of confrontation I really am…

Needless to say he quickly got on with his work and gave Sirius a 'beware of the impending peril' look when Star Boy decided that the library was a perfect place to stir up some trouble

So here I am wallowing in self pity, trying to think of ideas that could possibly get me out of this impossibly sticky mess…

Yeah, I'm still working on the ideas thing, self pity is taking up the majority of my time and brain capacity

Well one good thing came out of this week… I got all my homework done

Oh Merlin, I'm a nerd as well!

… though that isn't really that much of a surprise I suppose, considering my tendency to read every book that passes under my nose…

You know what I think I'll stick to wallowing in self pity about the known shambles my life has become… so much safer than contemplating my life and possibly stumbling upon more shambles

"Lily?'

Uh oh, some one's found me

Can't a girl sulk in private anymore?

If it's Star Boy I may just follow through with the appealing window (exit?)…

"Lily?"

Oh for the love of Merlin

It just had to be him didn't it?

The world's against me I just know it

My bad karma has come back to haunt me

… I knew I shouldn't have abused my privileges of prefect to take away 20 points from Slytherin for magic in the halls rather than the usual ten! It's not my fault! I swear! The temptation of taking the lead in the House cup was too much for my weak will…

Even so this is a rather nasty comeuppance now isn't it?

Am I truly an awful person?

Why couldn't I just be turned into a cockroach? I mean little cockroaches have all the solitude in the world they want, people literally run for the hills when they see a cockroach

… except maybe in those weird Asian countries where deep fried cockroaches are a delicacy, but I don't mean those countries are weird because they're Asian, no, no, no, I happen to love Asia and Asian people, they make the best food, like mei goreng, I couldn't live without mei goreng, it's just I think eating deep fried insects is rather disgusting, especially ones that crawl around in the garbage, but mind you Asian people probably think that some of the things we do are truly disgusting, like using the hand you wipe your arse with to shake someone's hand, but still it's cockroaches were talking about….

Oh sweet Merlin! I'm racist! I'm racist towards Asian people! Ugh, I truly am a horrible person! I can totally see why this is happening to me

I'm a over bearing, bureaucratic, self righteous racist

In the name of all things chocolaty, shoot me now!

"Lily, there you are, didn't you hear me calling you?"

Ugh! I wish!

"Er sorry James, I sort of spaced out for a while there"

Yes that's right the one person to come and find me when I'm in an emotionally unstable frame of mind is the one person who usually evokes unknown emotions which I would prefer stayed unknown…

Go figure

What am I talking about? Unstable frame of mind? Unstable is my usual state of mind, right now I'm down right erratic!

Okay , I think I may be slightly hysterical by the looks of what I have previously written in this entry and also the handwriting is hardly legible

Wait a second what on earth is James Potter doing up here, in the astronomy tower on a Friday night sitting with me?

Shouldn't he be coercing some ditzy, blonde, Hufflepuff fifth year, into a secluded corner?

"What are you doing up here?"

All right so my curiosity got the better of me, what else is new?

He just looks down at me with this weird look and then slides down the wall to sit next to me

"I could ask you the same thing"

Now it was my turn to give him a weird look

What is he playing at? I have every right to come here and sulk thank you very much, even more so now that I'm the social equivalent of a leper

"Well, I'm sitting here looking at the stars like I do every so often when some couple isn't 'celebrating' their love"

James doesn't seem at all convinced and just raised his eyebrow at me

Well what does he expect? That I break down and start spilling out my entire life story?

Heh, as if that will ever happen

"Oh I just thought you might want someone to talk to"

Is that so? And just what would I need to talk to someone about? The dancing chicken of Mongolia?

I resolutely looked ahead out the window, Sirius shone brightly back at me

Stupid Star Boy, I may just have to kill him one of these days, even if he did give me half a dozen bars of Honeydukes best chocolates as an apology for spilling the beans to Dana and Nessa

"Well actually I thought you most likely wouldn't like to talk but decided you could probably do with some friendly company instead"

Ruddy Star Boy and his big, fat, sodding mouth… though I can't blame it all on Sirius I suppose, a blind man would have seen that not all in good n the world of the Gryffindor sixth years

I looked over at him miserably

Ugh!

Am I really that pitiful?

The little voice inside my head has vindictively hissed back 'yes'

Great even the little voice in my head thinks I'm pathetic!

* * *

**Saturday 8th January – Common Room ****  
**  
Last night James giving me a sympathetic look due to how truly dejected I looked was the straw that broke the camels back

I don't know what happened but I ended up just blurting out all my problems, everything, and I mean everything, just came tumbling out of my mouth

Everything, from the fact that my friends weren't talking to me, to my fears that Harry might not get into Hogwarts, to the horror of being Petunia's maid of honour, to the audacious scheme between my mother and Vivian.

James patiently listened to every single little worry with all the patience in the world and didn't interrupt me once, he just listened

When I was finished he gave a small, sympathetic smile, pulled me into a one armed hug so that I was leaning on him and quietly told me that it would all be alright

Oddly enough this actually comforted me, had I been in my usual state of mind, I would of jumped up and shouted at him 'just what makes you think everything will be alright?' and 'what evidence to you have to support that?'

What can I say? I was temporarily insane and not functional at all at the normal level

…. I think it was actually the fact that all those emotions and things I usually push in to the back of my mind, totally denying while deluding myself I deal with them later, I think they all finally revolted and rose up as one therefore conquering my mind … sort of like the Russian Revolution, oppressed rise up to face the tyrant, only in my case that happens to be my logical, functional side

When I think about it, it's just the civil war between the Lily part (logical) and the Anna part (Emotional), the Lillianna part is clearly staying out of it till the dust settles, nice evasive tactics there from the Lillianna part I must say.

But I will admit that was jolly comfortable just sitting there with James being reassured that everything would be all right

When I finally got back to bed last night the talk with James seemed to have calmed me down considerably… or else the Lily part and the Anna part finally finished each other off, well whatever happened the ever logical and compassionate Lillianna was able to go into overdrive and come up with all kinds of solutions to my troubles

So effectively James was right

The plan considering my friends was put into full swing early this morning

Admittedly I had to get up early, well for me, it's a Saturday! No one in their right minds would be up before 6:30am on a Saturday… except sports freaks but there was no quidditch practice today so even the quidditch fanatics were having a lie in

Not me though

No I was busy being a mutated form of the Easter bunny

You see I got up nice and early and went down to the kitchens and collected a stash of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and went out into the grounds to raid the green houses for some lilies, Sprout had some rather nice tiger ones in greenhouse two, they're a bit testy unless treated with care so that's why they're in greenhouse two

Returning to my dorm I got to work on penning a suitable note

Once I had got across my general message I copied the not six times and then got on with my Easter bunny activities

Beside each bed in my dormitory I left the note, a lily and cookie in a place that made them impossible to miss by the occupants when they awoke… at least I hope it's impossible to miss

I then crept up to the boys dorm and did the same beside Tri and Cam's beds

Can I just say that living a dorm of five teenage girls I am quite used to clothing exploding from everywhere but where it should be, not being able to see the floor due to physical obstructions and the clutter of old parchment, broken quills and old textbooks

However nothing and I mean nothing prepared me for entering that… cesspit they call their dorm, how they manage to live in such conditions is beyond me, not only is there everything I mentioned before but also mounds of old sweet wrappers, rotting apple cores and other old food stuffs that looked as though it ought to have been added to the compost heap somewhere during the last century and unidentified hairy things with way too many legs that made unexplainable squeaking noises

I fought my way through the man made jungle wondering about the last time fresh air ever reached the room, I couldn't help myself I had to crack a window before returning to my search for my dear friends beds though it's a wonder they're still alive

I swear something tried to gnaw my ankle as I passed the dirty washing pile… at least I think it was the dirty washing pile

Well anyway on each of the notes I asked each of my darling friends to meet me in front of the common room fireplace at 1 o'clock, I didn't say what for but they know it's from me due to the cookie and the lily

So all I have to do now is wait

… and agonise over exactly I am going to say this with out losing my temper or insulting anyone

Hmmm maybe it's best I prepare, preferably in the library where there is no chance of meeting anyone before the fated hour

**Girl's dorm ****  
**  
Well that went well

A lot better than expected actually

I think that may have been largely to Rhi, I think she softened them up before they came up

So there I was, nervously perched on an armchair by the fire, eagerly anticipating the arrival of my friends after having chased away a great deal of younger class men and threatened to hex a few of the older ones to ensure privacy, well of sorts

I was also, once again, wondering how well liquid shows up on my pants

I stood up as they filed in from lunch in the great hall and took seats around me, their faces were blank apart from Rhi who gave me an encouraging smile

Okay Lillianna, calm down you can do this

No I don't think I can

Yes you can now go for it

well here goes nothing…

"Er, hi guys as you know I asked you here for a specific reason and that would be to apologise and explain since no one, except Rhi, has yet listened to my reasons for acting as I did"

I had to stop myself here to take a deep breath and control my indignant anger, the Lily part was firmly locked in titanium strength cage to prevent me from screaming at them for the injustice of their condemnation

Once I collected myself I continued

"Right, I never meant to offend you by not telling you. It occurred to me later that you probably saw it as more of an insult that I didn't tell you about a supposedly major point of my life, because, as I have been reminded lately, good friends share everything, not just the highs. So, I'm really very sorry"

Here the Anna part had to be locked up from throwing myself at their feet and screaming for their forgiveness

Pathetic I know

I chanced a quick glance at them, to see how they were reacting but they all kept quiet waiting for me to finish the explanation part

"I know you probably won't believe me but, er, I was absolutely dreading this coming out thing, I see it as the most boring event of the whole year, that includes double history of magic, which just plain sucks. Anyway I truly did not want to put any of you through that and I knew that you would want to come because you just happen to be like that and well quite frankly it was embarrassing, being paraded around like a piece of meat was not my ideal way of spending the evening – "

I was then cut off by the twins throwing themselves at me

"Oh Lily stop rambling, you should have told us all this when you first found out about it, we would most certainly of come, just to offer you support"

Aaawww isn't Dana sweet?

"Yeah, we're really sorry, we over reacted, as we have a tendency to do, but we are really sorry, aren't we guys?"

Bridget looked over at the rest

"Yeah, sorry Lily, that was highly… hypocritical of us to get mad at you after the whole fiasco before the holidays"

I smiled at them

"GROUP HUG!" shouted Nessa

The whole lot of us ended up, a mass of arms and legs on the floor in front of the fire

Once we disentangled ourselves Dana got back to the issue at hand

"So how did Sirius and Remus know about this if you didn't want anyone to know about it?"

I cringed

"You didn't invite the Marauders, did you?" asked an incredulous Nessa

How exactly am I supposed to explain this one?

Well looks like it's time to spill the beans about Remus

"NO! Most definitely not! It's… er, hard to explain"

I got a few raised eyebrows

Looks like it's now or never

"You know Vivian, right? Mother's friend?"

I was met with a couple of nods

"Yes, well er, she has two sons and um my mother and Vivian thought it would be nice for my escort to be Vivian's eldest son… who er, happens to be… Remus"

There was some stunned silence

"Remus was your escort!"

"Uh huh"

I looked around, since they're quite I should probably tell them about the betrothment thing seeing as all the Marauders already know

"And there's more, which I haven't told any of you, I thought it would be best to do it all at once" I gave Rhi an apologetic look "The thing is, my mother and Vivian seem to think that Remus and I make a lovely couple and are doing their best to play match maker. They've been planning weddings since we were in diapers"

Jaws hit the floor with a loud clunk

There was silence for a couple of seconds as they thought this over

I couldn't bring myself to look anywhere except my finger nails which I really need to repaint

"That's completely MAD!"

I'm glad someone agrees, seems Tri isn't that much of a tosser after all

"That's what Sirius said as well"

"The Marauders knew?" Bridget asked wide eyed

Bollocks

"Well, Will had them over to dinner and my mother sort of just blurted out the fact that she expected Remus to start 'courting' me, as you can probably tell that didn't go down to well with the marauders"

"You mean all the Marauders were there, even James?"

I nodded

Cam, Tri and Nessa all cracked up with out right laughter, they thought it was hilarious. Nessa calmed down enough to whisper "Poor Potter" before dissolving back into fits of hysterical laughter with the other two

Rhi was discretely hiding her smile behind her hand and her laughter was barely masked by a slight coughing fit

The twins however were the pictures of misery, they had identical looks on their faces, there big grey eyes looking horrified

"Oh poor James, he'll be heartbroken" was the sentiments of the twins

I myself cracked a smile

I can't help but say I missed my friends immensely over the holidays and this last week, that makes it three weeks. Pathetic really how much I missed them

"Wait, so what are you going to do about your mum and Remus' mum?"

Rhi asked the million galleon question

"Er, we're not actually sure, I want to just ignore it but Remus reckons they'll come up to the school, that's what we were discussing actually when Sirius came bounding down the stairs with his humongous mouth"

"Hello, hello, what do we have here? A sixth year orgy? Can anyone join?"

Ugh! Just what I need, Sirius Black on a sugar high

I looked at my friends before turning to Sirius

"Sort of like now. Hi Sirius, I was just talking things through with my friends after your last little interference"

Sirius looked slightly remorseful before hitching one of his dashing smiles on to his face

NO! Knees, I command you to stay solid! Ugh! It's a losing battle with Sirius really, he's just too damn good looking

"Well it's all good now no need for hostilities, I mean is it Lily's fault her mum and Remus' mum are slightly nutty? Course not, if people held it against me just how troppo my mother is well, that would be highly unjust"

"Thanks Sirius, you've put my mind at ease"

"No need to threat Banana"

Ooooh! I could of murdered him for that, yet another person who knows of my brothers lovely little nick name for me

We spent the rest of the evening catching up on what everyone did over the holidays

I told them about Tuna's engagement and even Cam and Tri were astounded that Petunia managed to get a husband, they know what she's like even after their brief encounter with her at the end of last year

Dana and Bridget want to come to the wedding just so they can see what Tuna has planned out and then rip it to shreds with their fussy nit pickings. Hopefully I can invite them all over for the wedding so I won't be bored, mother won't object, I mean she loves my friends, she gets along very well with the twins and adores Tristan and Cam, she thinks Nessa and Rhi are both 'incredibly sweet young ladies' so that should be no problem

Plus she wants to invite as many people as possible so that makes the process of allowing them to come a hell of a lot easier, plus we have enough room for them to stay so I doubt she'll mind much

Yawn

My God, this making up business is tiring

Well at least there's no more death glares that's a plus

* * *

**Monday 10th January – Lunch ****  
**  
You know potions has to be the weirdest subject I have ever come across in the wizarding world, even worse than divination and believe me I did that for a about a week in 3rd year, it was just as much tom foolery as potions… I just couldn't give up potions

I mean it's just like cooking really

You have to improvise!

Like today we were making some potion that…

Actually I have no idea what it does but Rhi told me to just start following the instructions

I hate to say it and all but I'm awfully lazy when it comes to potions, I just haphazardly throw things together and amazingly I still manage to pull through

Like today I was entirely fed up listening to Yougarty the yeti from a land time has forgotten (His names actually Fogarty but he's horrid so I call him Yougarty) and went about adding my own little changes to make things slightly more interesting

A dash of this and a dab of that, stir it this way a bit and stir it that way a bit

Mix things up in general

Rhi kept giving me exasperated looks as she dutifully followed the instructions in the book and patiently did things in their appropriate order

Book, schmook

Follow instructions?

That's no fun

As Yougarty came round I got rather nervous as to what he was going to say when he saw mine, seeing as Rhi was giving me a bewildered look as she saw the colour and texture of my potion which was quite different from her own and there was also the teeny tiny fact I didn't actually know what I was supposed to be making

Yougarty got closer and closer, nodding to some people, tsking occasionally and he raised his eyebrows at some poor Hufflepuff who got a bit fluster towards the end and added what seemed to be an entire beaker full of armadillo bile

So you can tell I was slightly worried

He came closer still, he gave Rhi a smile and a nod

I was biting my lip rather hard by this time

When he got to me he stopped and stared at my at my cauldron with a look of utter bewilderment on his face, rather similar to Rhi's

The word 'BOLLOCKS' was flashing across my mind in rather large, bold colours

"Miss Evans what exactly is the meaning of this?"

Good question, personally I'd love to know, I was just having a bit of fun is all

"Er… it's my potion?"

Black was smirking at me from across the room

I had to stop myself from cursing him with one of those nifty non-verbal curses

Stupid Reggie just because he's a dim witted troll

Fogarty stirred it, sniffed it and generally checked it out, he had the whole classes attention focused upon me and my cauldron by this time

I was seriously regretting my little bit of fun by this stage

"This is excellent Miss Evans, extraordinary! You've managed to complete your potion in such an efficient amount of time considering the level of difficulty, and here I thought I was giving you a challenge"

I completed the potion?

Wow

"Though how did you manage to complete it in such a short period of time?"

Fogarty gave me a curious look

er…

Well…

You see… er… it, well I…

Oh Merlin how do I answer this?

"I, er, improvised a bit, Sir" I answered tentatively with a nervous smile

He beamed down at me

"Very well done Miss Evans, very well done indeed, now that's all we have time for today class, please pack up"

I let out a breath

Well that was… unusual

Rhi was still puzzled as to how I managed to pull it off, she herself was only three quarters of the way through the lengthy instructions when Yougarty came around

She's been pestering me ever since to tell her exactly how I did it

I'm about to smack her around the head in a moment if she doesn't shut up, I honestly can't answer her because I have no idea what I did and am still clueless as to how I of all people actually managed to make… well whatever bleeding potion we were suppose to be making

Personally I think I need to pay more attention to my cottage pie so Rhi can just prattle away to the others who also were in potions and witnessed my unorthodox potion making

Wait a second Nessa's talking to me, she wants me to come down to the grounds after lunch and see her care of magical creatures project

… what fun, I get to go out into the freezing cold to visit some vicious beast

oh and look at that Cam wants me to see his as well

How nice, won't we just have fun

The things I do for my friends…

**Common Room ****  
**  
I am currently sitting as close as humanly possibly to the fire without actually being in the damn thing or singeing any vital body parts

I'm bloody freezing!

Damn Nessa and Cam

Come and see our care of magical creatures project, it's not that cold, it'll be fun

Fun? They call that FUN!

First you have to fight your way through the snow which is still here from Christmas and has been increased by the large snow fall that occurred the first week back at school

I could see my breath it was so cold, I mean it's the middle of the day and I still had steam coming from my mouth, the weak sun was doing a rotten job if you ask me

And yes, when you walk through the snow you do get awfully wet

So by the time I got down to the Forbidden Forest I was soaked thoroughly then I was informed we had to go a little way in to the trees

I looked at them both like they were mad, go into the forest, on a day like today? Are they deranged?

It was cold enough in the sunlight let alone in the freezing shadowy depths of the forest that don't see sunlight for the majority of the year… wait I don't know if most of the forest actually ever sees sunlight

But what about all the nutcase animals running around wild in there?

My friends are balmy I tell you, absolutely balmy

Though when I think about it, it was probably too cold for any formidable beast to be skulking around the place waiting to attack innocent students

Apparently Nessa had set up a Doxy breeding program for her personal project, personally I think she's mad. They're horrid little things, quite aggressive

Nessa reckons the eggs and venom are actually quite useful in potions, she's been collecting the stuff for the student's potions cupboard and selling it to the local apothecary in Hogsmeade

Quite the entrepreneur

Like wise Cam has been quite successful in breeding these weird green lizard things Mocks or something, sorry they're Mokes, harmless enough but they kept shrinking all the time, Cam said it was just because they didn't know me

Oh silly me, I haven't formally introduced myself to the SCALY MONSTROSITIES WITH TAIL ROT!

Cam was just explaining his dilemma about selling them off because their skins are use for purses and wallets due to the whole shrinking when a stranger touches them thing, the only thing is he's become rather attached to them, he's even named them

Well I have to say they are rather cute

We were just discussing what he could possibly do with Stevie and Stella (his favourites) when I was attacked by Nessa's bloody Doxies

They have to be the most horrible little things I have ever met

Of course I screamed my lungs out as the pulled my hair and started swatting the little beasts off me

Nessa started yelling at me not to hurt her little moneymakers

Me not hurt them!

They attacked me! And it was unprovoked!

I was just minding my own business not interfering with them in any way

What about they return the favour, huh?

"Just stand still Lily and I'll freeze them"

Stand still? Why in the name of Merlin would I stand still? The little horrors are trying to rip me shreds and she tells me stand still

Nessa finally stunned them all and stuffed them back in their cage

"Sorry Lily, they were attracted to your hair, they've never seen anything quite as colourful as your hair, they're quite attracted to bright things"

I didn't quite know how to respond to that so I just kept my mouth shut

Cam took pity on me even though he thought it was quite hilarious that the Doxies broke free from their enclosure just so they could get at my hair

"It's okay Lily, I'm sure you'll be fine now just sit here and pat Stevie he's quite friendly"

So I sat on a log, patting Stevie, muttering dark curses about deranged Doxies and incompetent schoolgirls as their owners

"BOO!"

I shrieked for the second time this afternoon, jumped about a mile in the air and Stevie shrunk to the size of a pea

I spun around and who should be standing there?

Remus and James

"Lupin, Potter" I snarled

They both looked completely bewildered

"Er, some ones a little on edge"

Nice observation Potter

My heart was still going about a million miles an hour but Stevie made his miraculous reappearance

I gently stroked his head as this seemed to calm me down slightly as Remus and James continued to survey me warily

Nessa came over to see what all the commotion was about

She rolled eyes at the two of them

"You really shouldn't sneak up on Lily while we're in here she's a bit skittish about the forest, plus she was just attacked by the doxies, they quite like her hair"

I gave Nessa an indignant look

"I am not skittish , I was merely still a little rattled by those blasted doxies"

Nessa snorted

"Sure, anyway what are two doing down here?"

"We came to see how Alfred is, see if he's settling in well"

Nessa smiled and shook her head in an amused way

"Alfred?"

They looked at my confused face

Then realisation damned on Remus

"Of course you haven't met Alfred"

Then James got excited

"You have to met him"

I gave them a sceptical look

"Do I _want _to?"

The number of possibilities running through my head as to what they could possibly be showing me was endless, and what sort of animal do you call Alfred?

"Yes, Lily, you definitely do, he's magnificent, James and Remus will take good care of you" Nessa assured me

I looked at her horrified

"Your not coming?"

"No, I have to fix up the doxy enclosure"

She took Stevie off me and have me a little push to where Remus and James were waiting for me

Alright be brave Lily, be brave

"So, what exactly _is_ Alfred?"

James grinned

"You'll see"

I couldn't help but grimace

When we finally reached our destination we were faced with a sturdy pen and some dark shadows

"Hold on a sec, I'll go get him" with that James jumped the fence and disappeared into the shadow

I cast a worried look at Remus

A couple of minutes later James came back accompanied by what I could only recognise as a baby hippogriff

It was so sweet, I wanted to just jump the fence and hug it

But how on earth did they get it? Or convince Professor Kettleburn to let them keep it for another matter?

I voiced my questions

Remus smiled and answered "Ah well we convinced Kettleburn that all the Marauders would take care of it and since he's only young we persuaded him that he would be easy to train"

I couldn't help but stare fascinated

"Can I pat him?"

"Go ahead"

I bowed first and Alfred sunk gracefully to his knees, they must be more trusting as babies, like unicorns

He was so soft

At some point Remus left to help Nessa with her Doxies as we could hear her cursing them even from Alfred's enclosure

James and I eventually put Alfred back after giving him his dinner

As we made our way back my klutz factor kicked in, though I have to say it wasn't strictly my fault

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

We were walking near the little stream and the mud monster struck… well not literally but still my foot was literally swallowed up by the mud, I could feel it seeping into my shoes

Stupid mud

At first James was alarmed but when he saw it was just mud he started cracking up

"You think this is funny do you?"

James was leaning on a tree for support and managed a choked 'Yes'

Well I wasn't going to let him just laugh at me now was I, I scooped up a handful of mud and threw it at him, getting him square in the chest

He stopped laughing immediately and stared incredulously at me

"And what was that for?"

I rolled my eyes

"Laughing at me of course"

Honestly he is quite thick sometimes

He narrowed his eyes and within seconds it was all out war

By the time we caught up with Nessa, Remus and Cam, we were completely splattered with mud, James was worse than me as I managed to get a big glob of mud smushed into his hair, we looked alarmingly like bog people

Nessa choked on her cauldron cake when she saw us

"What have you to been doing?"

I gave James a playful glare

"Avenging an insult"

James looked scandalised

"Pft! More like retaliating to unprovoked attack'

That set us off on another one of our arguments

"Unprovoked was it, Chuckles?"

"Yes, unprovoked you dirty toerag"

"Watch who you're calling dirty and you may want to stop your hair dripping onto your uniform"

"It's because of _you _that it is dripping, before this encounter I didn't know mud _could_ drip"

"You might want to wipe your glasses as well, how you can see through the grimy things I'll never know"

"They wouldn't be grimy if you hadn't thrown mud on them"

"I wouldn't have thrown mud on them if you hadn't tried to throw me in the brook"

By this point we were staring each other out, waiting to see who would crack first

It was James, he couldn't keep his laughter in any longer

Of course our three companions were desperately trying to smother their own laughter

I narrowed my eyes at Cam, who was the least successful at covering his mirth

"Do you think this is funny, Cameron Davies?"

He tried to compose himself; it was a very good try considering the circumstances but didn't really work

"No, it's not funny at all Lillianna"

"Oh really, you look awfully twitchy perhaps you'd like a friendly hug to calm your nerves"

With that I ran up and gave him a big bear hug so he ended up nearly as muddy as me, at the same time James had thrown his arms around both Remus and Nessa and shook his hair like a dog

James and I ended up chasing Nessa, Remus and Cam all the way up to the castle

When we eventually got to the common room - narrowly avoiding Filch - Sirius and Peter looked up from their latest pranking plans and the twins and Tri just stared

"Do I even want to know what Lily's done this time?"

I made and indignant hmpf

"James started it, I merely finished it"

"Yeah getting the three of us in the process" Nessa added as she swept up the stairs to the dorm

So after a delightfully roasting shower I am now trying to raise my internal body temperature to a normal functioning level, which is proving quite difficult

Nessa is curled up next to Tri complaining about being covered in mud and relating the tale of the obnoxious Doxies and their fascination with my hair

Rhi's off on a date with her Ravenclaw bloke Robin or something so I think I'll wait up for her, that's if I don't fall asleep first

Do you know the most obscure thought occurred to me just then, James looks awfully cute when he's dripping with mud…

* * *

Hello poppets! Long time no see! Sorry about that,I haven't had a moment to myself for about the last month and a half, what with exams, assessments, sports carnival that went for a week, revision coure thing, ugh! It's been hectic, but now I have no excuses, winter break has ended (I live in the land of Oz in the southern hemishpere) andI am now able to actually work out a time when I can devote myself to writing. Anyway thankyou all so much for your wonderful reviews and for being so patient with me

Happy summer holidays to all those of you lucky enough to be in the north hemisphere of the globe, hope you're having a glorius time with all that sunshine. For those of us stuck in the south, don't worry summer's not to far away... sort of

Tell me what you think of the chapter and of the Half Blood Prince, I'm dying to talk to someone about it

THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL READERS!

Jen


	34. Drama, Drama, Drama

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Wednesday 12th January – Charms**

When did fourteen year old boys become so whiny?

I thought that just some of the girls were supposed to be whiny

I mean seriously, I think Charlie's changed his gender overnight, he wouldn't quit moaning over this Melissa Greenly

I enquired how his weekend went during tutoring last night – big mistake

Apparently the little talk I recommended he have with her didn't go over quite as well as he hoped

In Charlie's words it was a "complete and utter disaster"

I, being the idiotically curious person that I am, just had to ask "how so?"

Well that certainly set him off now didn't it

"How so? HOW SO! I'll tell you how so, I kept mumbling and stumbling over my words and I stupid things just kept spilling out and to top it off I accidentally gave her one of James' trick lollipops, she was still squeaking an hour later"

He let out a long suffering sigh and rested his head dramatically in his hands with the most forlorn look I've ever seen on his face

Well, I felt a little better – at least I'm not the only one with a traitorous mouth

… but he still seems to be having trouble with this concept of nervousness – it's still completely foreign to him

I had to bit my cheek to stop my amusement creeping onto my face

"Feel better?"

He gave another one of those 'woe-is-me' sighs

"Yeah, a bit, but that doesn't change that fact that I acted like a complete prat in front of Melissa"

He sure is hooked on this bloody girl now isn't he?

He's going to drive me balmy

What he thinks I can do about it I've no idea, seeing as I am about as experienced in the dating realm as McGonagall is in Divination… about as fond of it as well

However I can relate to the whole messing up thing, I frequently cause accidents inflicting suffering on others as well as myself. My latest victim was a 7th year Hufflepuff, I some how managed to knock him into the path of vindictive peeves as he was assaulting passing students in general with ink pellets, some how the poor blokes books went everywhere and he ended up with a broken arm… he landed on it funny, so it's not really my fault, well technically it was my fault he has a broken arm, just not directly

I really should find him and apologise

I mean it was entirely my fault, but I couldn't really see, you see I was walking backwards talking to Nessa and Rhi while I was looking in my bag for the notes McGonagall just gave us as neither of them had bothered to get them down because they saw me taking them down… so yeah I probably owe him an apology

Anyway back to Charlie

"Look, it's not that bad, at least compared to my numerous mishaps… anyway it was an honest mistake, I'm sure she'll forgive you if you explain properly"

His 'the end is nigh look' is still firmly in place

"Well the thing is… I didn't really get a chance to explain things as she ran away when she sprouted whiskers"

Pft! That's the least of your problem…

"Er, well, just apologise, I mean, I've done it often enough and it usually turns out okay"

Key word there: usually

There are the rare few, such as Rosie, who just can't get over their own pride to take an apology gracefully, they're just prats really… but I'm sure Melissa is not one of those rare few

Charlie looks at me disbelievingly

"What is it with you and those looks! I don't have the faintest clue what you should do, go talk to your bloody brother I'm sure he can give you some pointers!"

Charlie raised his eyebrows

"Are you referring to his reputation as a ladies man?"

What!

NO! You little fool I was referring to the fact that he's your older brother and of the same gender and has been in this exact same situation at some stage in his life, I was refering to the fact that he's able to understand what you're feeling and would probably be able to give you a few pointers that I am not privy to

UGH! STUPID MALES AND THEIR ASSUMING NATURES!

I tried to calm myself down

"No, I was simply pointing out the fact that this is an area where James would be more apt are providing advice, I still think you should talk to him about it"

"NO! Are you crazy? Don't you remember what I told you? You know the whole laughing me off the face of the earth thing! No! I won't talk to him! And don't you dare mention it"

I opened my mouth to argue

"Don't even bother to defend yourself Lily, you and I both know you were planning to ask him to talk to me"

Bugger! He knows me to well

Oh well, I can still ask James on Charlie's behalf, he never need know that I talked to James and then I can give him the advice he so desperately wants

"And I thought you said no to take any of his advice? I believe your exact words were 'he's hopeless'"

Well, yes that's true it's probably best he doesn't, but I must say James would be far more suited to giving this type of advice than I ever will be

"I said pointers, didn't I? You should probably just run them past me first to make sure their not completely absurd"

Alright, yes, I was a little ticked by this time but come on! I was listening to a fourth year whinge about his love life! I don't even whinge about my love life, or lack there of, to my friends as I know how annoying it is, precisely why I find this diary thing so appealing I can moan to myself and then never have to read it again

"That shouldn't be a problem, seeing as I am most definitely not going to mention it to him… and neither are you!"

Well someone has their knickers in a knot now don't they…

After that he became very sulky and got quite upset when he couldn't get the flick right

Moody little bugger

Uh oh, Flitwick wants to see everyone's bubble head charms, I better go practice so that my chances of embarrassing myself in front of the class are slimmed significantly

* * *

**Astronomy Tower ****  
**  
You know during winter there really is a limited number of places you can go in the afternoons in winter, the number becomes significantly smaller if you want some peace and quiet…

So the library is my new best friend but tonight I'm mixing things up with a trip to the astronomy tower. I'm actually supposed to be doing my astronomy homework, something about making observations as to how the planets and stars are arranged or something… I'll check it later

It's quite chilly at night still, well you'd expect that wouldn't you it being January and everything but that's precisely why I'm up here is this draughty tower – this is the first clear night in ages so it seems like a perfect time to complete that astronomy homework I've been neglecting

Ooooooh the moon's coming up, it's so pretty, I think it's a full moon

Poor Remus he must have an awful time, I can only imagine how painful it is, I know I joked about us being similar, turning into monsters every month but really I have no idea how he must feel, so lonely, so isolated, I mean he really is a minority, at least I have others who understand my pain, but Remus…

Well he has no one really, who understands him fully

Awww schucks, poor Remus, I'll go see him tomorrow in the hospital wing at break, speaking of the hospital wing…

I apologised to that 7th yea I almost indirectly killed this morning

I managed to find him at the Hufflepuff table during dinner, longish brown hair, tanned, average build, and sort of hansom really. My darling friends, Nessa in particular, thought my attempt on the poor guys life was quite entertaining and were almost begging to be allowed to witness the apology up close

I eventually got them to remain in their seats as I made my way over to the Hufflepuff table, I started getting jittery as I got closer

What exactly do you say to someone whose life you have just recently endangered?

Buggered if I know, though really I should be an expert by now with the number of accidents I've caused…

I tapped him on the shoulder

"Er, Mick?"

He turned around

Woah

He has the clearest, lightest blue eyes I've ever seen, he's just been promoted from sort of hansom to dashing prince on the attraction scale

How is it that I manage to embarrass myself in front of the most inappropriate people?

I think I'm cursed…

I can probably blame Rosie for that, the swotty knickered cow

I was momentarily mesmerized by his eyes… fortunately I was snapped out of it by the sound of his voice

"It's Nick actually"

BOLLOCKS!

"Right, sorry, Nick" I cringed " Anyway, I er just wanted to apologise for the this morning"

All his friends were watching me as well; there was some smug little swot of a girl smirking at my discomfort

Yeah, well, up yours Curly Sue

"I don't think I really got a chance to say sorry, what with you lying on the floor withering in pain and all, so yeah, I'm really sorry"

I offered a sympathetic, tentative little smile here

Curly Sue just smirked some more

I looked at 'Nick', I let out a relieved sigh, he was smiling

"That's okay, I got it fixed in a matter of seconds, maybe you should just try not walking forwards not backwards"

I opened my mouth to insult the hell out of him when I noticed the teasing twinkle in those simply gorgeous blue eyes

I changed tactics immediately

"Oh is that so? Well since you have admitted to the recognising I was walking backwards maybe you would like to take a share of the blame seeing as you obviously didn't try to avoid the situation"

I looked at him accusingly

He laughed

"Okay, so it was partly my fault as well, sorry about not looking where I was going"

That made me more than a little guilty

"Nah, it was mainly my fault, my name's Lily by the way"

I offered my hand and he shook it

Curly Sue gave me a sour look

"Yeah, I know the infamous Gryffindor redhead"

I'm infamous now am I? And just why would that be? … on second thoughts I don't want to know

"Well again I'm really sorry Nick, I'll let you get back to your dinner"

Ugh! I need a cookie – wait scratch that a need a dozen cookies, I need a gross of cookies

He nodded

"I'll see you around Lily"

When I got back to the table the twins were goggling me and Nessa looked thoughtful

"That was the guy you ran into the this morning and half killed!" demanded Bridget

Hey! That's going a bit far… I only broke his arm

"I didn't half kill him! He merely broke his arm"

Nessa snorted

"Yeah, he just broke an arm, he got off lightly really" she paused for a second " I definitely don't remember him being that dishy though"

There was an out cry from Tristan here

"What! He is! Don't look at me like that Tri, I'm not about to waltz up to him and snog him senseless I was simply commenting on his physical attractiveness"

He wasn't pacified in the least

"Oh shut up Tri, Nessa's right he's hotter than a potion's fire, what do think Bridge?"

Dana looked over at her twin, Bridget was still salivating over 'Nick' and his newly recognised hotness

Dana clicked her fingers in front of her face

"What? Were you talking to me?"

Dana rolled her eyes "Honestly!"

"Rhi back me up on this, he did not look nearly as good this morning, did he?"

Nessa was back on the case after effectively reassuring Tri that there was no competition

"Well" Rhi considered the case carefully "I think he looks pretty much the same if you ask me, we just didn't see his eyes this morning since he was too busy howling with pain"

Nessa conceded that she was probably right

Rhi then added "Though Nicholas Fibonacci always has been a looker"

The rest of us just stared at her

"YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT BOY'S EXISTENCE AND YOU NEVER TOLD US!" screeched Dana and Bridget together

Rhi didn't even blink

"Well I thought it was common knowledge, I don't know how you could miss him, he has the most amazing eyes"

The twins were dumbfounded

"Yeah, I realised that, they took me a bit by surprise"

Rhi smiled in sympathy

"They tend to do that"

I was slowly recovering from the shock of meeting the incredibly handsome Nicholas Fibonacci

Then the embarrassment hit me

I groaned and hid my head in my hands

"What's the matter?"

I looked up at Nessa, she had torn herself away from stroking Tri's ego to enquire about my despair

"I, er, called him Mick by accident"

Through out this whole encounter, Cam found the whole thing rather entertaining but at this he cracked up completely and started laughing like a deranged psychopath

"And Curly Sue was smirking at me like I was some idiotic 1st year stuck in a trick step"

"Who?"

"The girl with brown curly hair and the nasty look on her face"

Six heads turned to look back at the Hufflepuff table

"You mean Ellen Hicks?" Cam asked

"If she's the brown curly haired one who is currently glaring at me then yes"

It was Cam's turn to surprise us all

"Yeah that's her, she's a great admirer of Nick's, he was trying to hide from her all summer"

"YOU KNOW HIM? PERSONALLY?" that came from guess who…

"Yeah, he lives near me, we get together every now and then over the holidays for a bit of quidditch"

The twins eyes glittered – never a good sign you can just see the wheels turning as they cook up some elaborate plan so as to acquire some alone time with 'Nick'

I still can't get over the fact that I called him Mick – it was an accident! How was I supposed to know his name I've never met him before in my life…

I've just broken his arm is all

So now Dana and Bridget have a new victim… I pity the poor bloke, first he gets bowled over by Hogwart's resident klutz which leads him to breaking his arm and becoming the newest victim of the mad, man eating Declour Twins

That boy is going to need all the help he can get

Oh well I better get this homework done or else I shall be shattered in the morning

Wait I never go to ask why I'm infamous… that is something I'll have to look into along with those cookies

* * *

**Thursday 13th January – Girl's Dorm **

Well I was right about being shattered this morning

Normally anyone who knows anything about me doesn't even bother talking to me before 10am as it is pointless if you want an even semi-civil response, this morning it was particularly bad and took me till at least lunch to be able to open my mouth without a bitter and twisted comment escaping

Rhi took pity on me, seeing as I missed breakfast and she happens to be extremely well organised, she went and got me a stack of cookies from the kitchens before our first class – transfiguration

Needless to say the cookies were the only things keeping me from telling McGonagall to put a sock in it. They were my favourite, chocolate chip, and they were still warm so the chocolate was slightly soft and delicious

Rhi is formally inducted into my book of those too saintly to be considered human

Tutoring was especially painful tonight, Charlie's still sulking about Melissa and hasn't given up the deluded notion that I can actually give him worthy advice, he's convinced I'm with withholding information

Nutter

On that note, I had rounds with James and I decided that it was about the right time for a grilling inquisition…

Only problem was he seemed to have the same idea

We started out fine wandering the halls, looking out for students skulking in the shadows, we're actually both big softies, it seems neither of us has the heart to take to many points or arrange an interview with the head of house – probably due to our own night time wanderings, I already feel like a complete hypocrite doing rounds in the first place

Any way I was just figuring out how to approach the subject of Charlie and his problematic love life when James sparked up conversation

"I hear you almost killed Hufflepuffs golden boy, they're most upset you know, the charms club would never be the same without him"

I nudged him in the side with my elbow

"I did not almost kill him, no matter what Nessa says, I just caused an accident is all, nothing out of the ordinary really"

He looks amused

Smug prat

"Actually I heard it from Ellen Hicks, I share a table with her in Herbology. She was telling me how some horrible little Gryffindor red head half killed _her_ _Nicky_, she's not at all pleased with you"

I stared at him

That girl really does not like me now does she?

Well hang on a sec there Curly Sue, I've never even spoken to her before and she doesn't like me already? Good grief I'm good at acquiring enemies aren't I? I've progressed to the stage where I don't even have to interact with them any more to cause the malevolent hatred

Well it's a skill is all I'll say

"But I've never even talked to her before"

"That's true but you did endanger _Nicky_'s life so you're not exactly in her good books"

I scowled

Stupid woman, what does she know

"She doesn't know the half of it, he's become the twins newest conquest and they will conquer, believe me"

He's interested now

"You mean he's only just come to their attention?"

I gave him a calculating look

How much should I tell him? Well he may as well get the truth

"Yes, he's only recently made a blip on their radar, the last couple of years have been devoted to co-captaining the Potter and Black Fan Club. The number of rants I've been subjected to detailing the unique 'hotness' that is Sirius and yourself is phenomenal, just ask Cam, he's had to endure them as well, we usually end up holding each other just to protect the twins in case one of us snaps and tries to cause them grievous bodily harm"

He gave me a surprised look

"Sirius and I have a fan club?"

I glared at him

"I am not going to stroke your ego any more than your fan girls already do so let's not go into it shall we, I dare you to ask Dana or Bridget that question next time you see them"

He just grins

"Okay, I'll do that"

I hid my smirk very well if I don't say so myself… he has no idea what he's in for

Now it was my turn to question him

"Alright I have to ask your advice on some thing, but I'm not sure how to go about it"

He looks at me curiously

"What's it about?"

How exactly do I put this? Preferably without Charlie having to hunt me down and kill me

"Romance"

He gave me a startled look

"Not mine though, someone else's"

Uh oh, James doesn't look convinced

"No seriously, this is on behalf of someone else. Believe me I would never personally ask you for advice in this area, it would be weird, like now when you don't believe me"

"What? No, I do believe you"

I gave him a skeptical look, there was a strange glint in his eye that wasn't at all comforting

"Sure, anyway, on with the questions what exactly are you supposed to talk about with the person you have a crush on and how do you over come the whole nervous component?"

He surveyed me for a moment

"Are you sure this isn't for your personal benefit?"

TO KEEP ME SANE, YES

"No! Now would you answer the damn question"

"Well whose it for then?"

"I can't say"

"Why not?"

"Stop being so suspicious"

"Who's the advice for?"

"I can't tell you or else I'll be hexed to within an inch of my life and FED TO ONE OF HAGRID'S PETS WHILE I'M STILL ALIVE"

I was yelling by this time and James had gone all red with what I think is suppressed anger

We stared at each other for what seemed like half an hour

"Ugh! Can't you just fulfill your big brotherly duties? Just sit your brother down and give him a couple of pointers would you? Before he drives me completely mad!"

Bollocks!

Bollocks!

Bollocks!

BOLLOCKS!

Charlie'll kill me

James looks stunned

Oh Lord, I'm dead, Hagrid's newest pet is about to be introduced to a suspiciously fresh dinner in the very near future

"Please, please, please don't say I said anything! He'll kill me if he finds out I told you, so please whatever you do, do not mention this conversation"

I was just collecting myself in preparation to run as fast as I could back to the common room when James spoke

"Charlie was asking _you_ for romance advice?"

"Yes, he was driving me bloody balmy as well. Being nervous is a completely foreign concept for your family isn't it? It freaks him out to no end that he can't talk to Melissa Greenly with out stuttering"

I clamped a hand over my mouth to stop myself talking

Bugger!

Bollocks!

Sodding hell!

I cannot believe I just said that, damn my traitor of a mouth

He won't stop at killing me, he'll torture me as well for that one

"Why didn't he ask _me_? I am his older brother"

James seems to have completely missed my last comment – he's to busy being indignant that his younger brother had no faith in him, which I have to say is an entirely good thing, Charlie may now just find in his heart to bypass the torture

"Because he thought you would laugh at him"

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! My mouth has a mind of it's own! I bet it bribed the little men to pull the levers for it, though mind you those little men are far to easy to bribe, I think I need to get new little men

sigh It's so hard to get good staff

Ugh! I think I'll have to go down to the common room, Dana and Bridget are on a sugar high and won't stop cooing 'Lily and James' followed by obscene noises, it's truly disturbed, especially since we spent a large part of the evening debating over what to do about his younger brother's love life

**Common Room ****  
**  
Thank god I got out of there, the twins both made suggestive comments involving myself, the third floor broom closet and the resident Head boy

Perverts

I shall have to give Rhi and Nessa a talking to, they kept egging the twins on and fell about laughing their heads off

Prats

Anyway where was I? Oh yes, James and his inability to get over the fact that his little brother doesn't trust him

"He thought I'd _laugh_ at him?"

Honestly!

Males!

They're so confusing! They act like they have the emotional range of a teaspoon but then they get all out of sorts if they're not included in the circle of trust that discusses feelings

Take Tri and Cam for example – if we were to leave them out of any personal crisis they would go off in a huff, as demonstrated by the coming out party episode, they were most put out

"Yes! He thought you would laugh him 'off the face of the earth' to use his exact words and something about you being 'Mr. I-can-get-any-girl-I-want', he has quite high opinions of you actually"

Hopefully that'll satisfy him

"'_Laugh him off the face of the earth'_? '_Can get any girl I want'_?"

Nope that won't do it

He went into shock after that, he looks like he's been betrayed, poor little schnookums

"Yes, now can we get back to the matter at hand? Good, now will you please talk to him, you know just sort of generally enquire as to whether he likes anyone and take it from there"

He appear not to have heard me

"James?"

He's giving the wall a dazed and confused look

"James!"

Nope, nothing, I give up sod him, see if I care if their brotherly friendship falls apart, I did try

James snapped out of it and turned to me

"Where's Charlie now?"

I gave him a bewildered look

How in the name of chocolate would I know? What do I look like his keeper? I'm his tutor, not his mother, I don't have a tracking charm or anything ridiculous

"I'd _imagine_ he was in his dorm, asleep"

We finished patrols in silence, James got this sort of set look on his face and when we got to the common room he hardly said goodnight before bounding up the boys stair case

I have a very bad feeling about this, not just a 'it's time for potions assignments to be handed in' bad feeling but a 'my mother wants to take me out for a day of shopping so we can bond' bad feeling

I think the thing that gives me the willies the most is James' eagerness to get up those stairs, that is what seems rather startling usually he dithers around doing this and that, he usually never goes up until after me, so as you can see his beha –

BOOM!

Uh oh, that doesn't sound good; a huge explosion has just erupted from the boys dormitory for some reason I have the distinct feeling it has something to do with James and is a fore warning of my own mortal peril

Oh bollocks! I'm right, I hear Charlie yelling at James… and also the death threats that are directed towards me

Something along the lines of 'she's worse than dead'

I think I better skedaddle before he gets a chance to mutilate me… well tonight at least

* * *

Hey Everyone!

Sorry it's not as long as the last one but oh well, at least the update came faster. But wow! The number of people reading my story is just phenomenal, thankyou so much for all your encouraging messages )

In answer to some of the questions asked last time have a look at my profile,I answered a couple of them at the end

Thanks and remember to

R

E

V

I

W


	35. Deary Me

**Absolute Shocker!**

**By JamesRoxMySox**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

* * *

**Friday 14th January – Hospital Wing **

Humpf!

Bloody boys!

Stupid, exceedingly dim creatures that we rely upon for the continuation of our race… all I can say is that based on my observations the future generations are doomed

Now I like Charlie, really I do but that boy can't perform charms to save himself

That is the exact reason why I happen to be in the hospital wing, because no matter how much tutoring I give him he still can't get the hang of charms

To be more precise he can't get the wand movements right

After that magnificent explosion that sent James flying into a particularly hard wall, Charlie can storming down the stairs in search of me

I was unfortunately only halfway to the stairs and freedom when Charlie spotted me

"Oh no you don't Lily! You get back here"

Of course I did the sensible thing and ran for the stairs

One problem: he happens to be faster than me

He some how got between me and the stairs leading to the girls' dorms

Uh oh

Very big 'Uh oh'

"You told"

He sounded very annoyed and not at all as though he was going to take this with grace

Just between you and me that glint in his eyes reminded me of a serial killer I had seen on a television special over the summer, it was rather unnerving….

Okay, okay, I admit I was rather afraid of what he might actually do

He went all red and purple and white splotches started appearing on his face making it look like homemade blackberry ice cream and it was all scrunched up in suppressed anger

Plus there was the fact that he was holding his wand like a maniac and it was pointing straight at my chest after all, I would be doubting my own sanity if I hadn't been slightly concerned

"You promised you wouldn't say anything"

Oh dear, he sounds rather hurt

Okay time for damage control

"Well, you see I didn't actually say anything as such, I just thought since you didn't want to ask James for advice I could do it on your behalf"

Charlie stared at me like I'm mad… he does that a lot actually, but this time he just sort of blinked at me and stared disbelievingly

Well come on what was I supposed to do, he was driving up the wall asking me all those silly questions that I can't for the life of me answer

"I bet that went down well"

Have I ever expressed my passionate hate for sarcastic smart arses?

Well I am now

"Yeah it went down a treat, I was just trying to help, geez"

Oh dear he's gone all red and splotchy again

"What do you mean 'just trying to help'! You were meddling!"

Okay so he has a point with the meddling thing, but I was doing it in his best interest

"Hey! I was putting myself on the line to help you, you could be a little more grateful!"

That seems to have been the last straw, he promptly tried to blast me across the room

Key word is _tried_

…unsuccessfully, may I add

Instead of being hurled against a wall like James he managed to turn my hair into snakes, bright orange snakes…

Talk about embarrassing

I just stared at him

"What the hell was that! How many times do I have to tell you about wrist mov – AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Halfway through my lecture one of those horrid little animals that I previously called my hair, copped me in the eye with its tail

Can you say ouchies?

Well I say BLOODY HELL!

I then stumbled around in agony, being poked in the eye by a rattle tail really hurts, and I only managed stopped when I collided with an innocent footstool… while I was going backwards

CRACK!

That would be one of my many leg bones breaking as I awkwardly landed

Just my luck

Charlie was still yelling even though I was lying semi unconscious on the ground, passed out with pain. It took him a good couple of minuted to realise that I wasn't about to get back up… but I think it was the fact that I wasn't yelling back that really got his attention

All of a sudden there was a mop of blonde hair and an anxious face staring down at me and high pitched noises started coming from it

I have no idea what he was saying but I do believe he was panicking and from what I can gather his high frequency babble was enough to rouse James from his wall induced stupor and between the two of them they were able to get me up here

Madame Wilks was raving about it this morning, how boys really need to learn to control their wands

… she was also muttering about 'shock' again and that would be why I am, yet again, confined to a hospital bed

Last night I'm pretty sure I passed out right after I choked down those god awful potions Wilks always insists on giving me. This morning I woke up in time for class but Madame Wilks is insisting I stay at least until lunch, if she had her way I'd be stuck in here till at least Sunday morning.

Charlie came to visit me this morning and apologise over and over and over again, he also presented me with a bunch of honking daffodils, he said they always cheer him up so he thought I might like them

Aaaawwww! Isn't he sweet? I felt so bad I tried to apologise for the whole talking to James thing but he just waved me off

I then asked him if he could please retrieve this diary from the common room for me before classes start.

I would hate for this to fall in the wrong hands, say the hands of Rosemary MacDonald

Ugh!

That would be an absolute nightmare, imagine all the dirt she could get on me! Like the infatuation with Daniel or our night time wanderings or my slightly less than legal actions which I would prefer remained confined to this diary and my friends, all of it neatly laid out in chronological order and in painful detail

What? I never said I have an interesting life, this diary in itself shows I have far to much time on my hands, what with all the documenting I do. Honestly most people who picked this up would probably toss it away after the first couple of lines in favour of last February's issue of Twinkle Toes – the magazine with all you need to know about the latest toenail care

Oh joy a whole day in the hospital wing, I may just lose my control in all the excitement and end up with wet knickers

Bollocks!

I've just remembered, Flitwick was suppose to show use this really cool little charm during Charms today and I have to miss it because of Madame Wilks and her 'shock' theories

Hey, there's Rosie! What's she doing here, it's the middle of the morning for chocolate's sake, I think I may have to go investigate, I can try to sneak out while I'm at it, I can still make it to charms if I run…

HUMPHF!

She found me out, I was barely three feet from the door when Wilks caught sight of me and hauled me back to bed, I thought school nurses where supposed to encourage their patients to attend class not restrain them

If I fall behind due to this I will be giving Madame Wilks a piece of my mind, not a large piece admittedly, I need all the working brain cells I can get, but still a substantial amount

But on the other hand I found out what Rosy was up to…

It seems that Charlie isn't the only one who needs a bit of extra charms tutoring; Rosie seems to have been feeling a bit down today and decided cast a bit of a glamour charm on herself

It went wrong… horribly, horribly wrong

All I can say is that you should never trust those beauty tips in Teen Witch, Dana leaves them lying all over the place and some of the tripe they print is absolutely unbelievable

I actually checked up on one of the pimple squeezing spells and you were more likely to set your skin on fire than remove a black head

And Rosie did quite the number on herself, there's boils and pus everywhere, no wonder she came down once everyone was in class I wouldn't want anyone to see me looking like that either

I actually feel kind of sorry for the poor girl, I mean she was just having an off day and all she wanted to do was perk herself up a bit, admittedly it was probably so she could lure in some poor fool and then crush his poor little heart to pieces but still…

Ugh! I'm such a softie, I disgust myself, I make a toasted marshmallow look impenetrable

Alright, yes I caved, but come on she was sitting over there looking all dejected, I couldn't just let her suffer! It's against my nature I tell you!

I just went and offered one of the traditional chocolate frogs I receive every hospital wing trip from my friends to Rosemary and a honking daffodil to go with it

I know, I know, she's horrible and manipulative and self centred and would never do that for me should our roles be reversed but I couldn't help it, she was just sitting there looking all forlorn

Damn her and her baby blue eyes, all big and innocent looking, no wonder so many innocent males get sucked into her little game – I know what she's _really_ like and even I can't resist their power, imagine the poor sods who base things entirely on looks, they have no chance

She was actually surprisingly grateful about the whole thing, took my gestures with grace…

I suppose Rosie's not all that bad after all

* * *

**Sunday 16th January – Common Room**

Heh heh heh

I love Sunday afternoons

Especially when entertainment is provided

What's this entertainment you ask?

Well it seems that I'm not the only one with an over load of curiosity

This afternoon James finally asked Dana about the 'fan club' thing

Everyone else groaned while I grinned like an idiot

Rhi quickly excused herself to go meet Robbie for their walk around the lake… Pft! Walk around the lake, more like an in depth examination of the human mouth

Nessa buried her head in a couple of pillows, while Tri smacked his head against the table a couple of times and Bridget eagerly joined the conversation

Cam had his head in his hands but noticed my cheerful demeanour and gave me a suspicious look

In all honesty I didn't really try to cover up my childish, vindictive joy

Plus my smiling was a bit of a give way of my guilt seeing as I'm usually the first to start complaining and conspiring with Cam as to what we can suffocate the twins with when they start up on this dreaded subject.

"Why do I get the feeling this is all your doing?" Cam asked me with a mock glare

Deny everything – that's the best advice known to man

I acquired an innocent look

"Me? What could I do?"

Cam wasn't fooled in the least

"An awful lot, just _what_ is the question"

I just smiled and turned back to the scene before us

Dana is babbling continuously with Bridget interjecting every now and then with some outburst

James is staring at them a little dumbfounded

Heh heh heh

Take that Potter! Next time you won't be so nosy

Though I really shouldn't be mean, the twins are absolutely shameless about their obsession with the sexy duo and I bet they're just thrilled that they can discuss it with the one of the actual objects of their fixation

Oh dear I do believe they've moved into marathon mode

Tri and Nessa have skedaddled, muttering something about 'quidditch practice'

Hmmm, is that what they're calling it now?

They never could handle the twins' obsessive ramblings

Luckily Cam and I have built up a resistance to their voices and are gradually learning to tune them out

Key word there is gradual, we haven't quite managed it yet

Cam's shooting James sympathetic looks

"Do you think we should save him now?"

I gave him a 'Are you nuts' look

Why would I want to do that? James is getting a well deserved dose of medicine – my style of medicine that will hopefully deter him from purposely ticking me off

I say 'purposely' because he's bound to do something to annoy me – it's like genetically encoded or something…

"And we should do that why?"

Cam rolled his eyes

"Give the man a break, there's only so much one person can handle"

Pft! He can handle it

"Show me a man and I'll give him a break"

Well I mean really, Cam is attempting to take away my Sunday afternoon's entertainment, I am not going to agree to this quietly and passively

Where am I going to find substantial entertainment for the rest of the evening?

Uh oh

Cam just gave me _the look_

"Ugh! Fine, we'll get him out, what's the plan?"

Cam and I usually scheme up ways of getting _ourselves_ away from the twins, now we have to concoct a way to get an additional third party out of their clutches…

Oh joy

"Well how about I distract the twins by mentioning Nick, while you quickly whisk James off to feed Alfred. Oh and could you slip Stevie a couple of drops of pepper up potion he's been a bit off colour lately"

Well it sounds reasonable…

"Right on the count of three, one, two, three…"

Why do I get the feeling that this will lead to trouble, for me at least?

* * *

**Wednesday 19th January – The Art of Boring Students to Death, As Perfected By Professor Binns **

The morning of notes, exchanging them that is, no one ever mentioned anything to me about taking any down….

Yes our weekly lesson of boredom (aka a History of Magic lesson with Binns) that we effectively combat against by entertaining ourselves with amusing anecdotes, scribbled on scraps of parchment that are passed from table to table

Last time it was something about Sinistra, Bolivian tree frogs and the Cancan…

**Why does he have to make everything so boring? I mean really, a bloody goblin revolution, in which many heads literally rolled, should not be this boring – it's against the laws of nature or something – VH**

_Definitely, the man's been dead far too long – LE_

**It's hard to imagine him alive, let alone our age**

_I doubt he can either _

**You know what we need?**

_A list _

**Precisely, a list**

_The only question is what sort of list_

**Something involving chocolate…**

_And it's advantages_

**I know…**

**Vanessa Halleway and Lillianna Evans**

**Present**

**Why Chocolate Is Better Than… Well, Other Things**

**1. You can GET chocolate**

_Very true, it's easy to find unlike other things such as good men_

**Hmmm, I dunno about the good men comment, YOU seem to find them pretty easily e.g. the infatuated quidditch captain**

_I shall ignore that comment and continue as though you never wrote it, NEXT!_

_2. 'If you love me, you'll swallow' has real meaning with chocolate _

**Now this one I can agree with, remember the dilemma Amy from Ravenclaw was facing last term with the egocentric drip of hers, you'd never have that problem with chocolate**

_For some reason chocolate just seems to be so much more understanding…_

_And he was such a tosser, I'm glad she got rid of him _

**3. Chocolate satisfies even when it goes soft**

_You know this one depends what you're talking about, because in certain circumstances 'softness' is not at all favoured but other times being soft is an advantage_

**Are we coming back to the hunky quidditch captain again? NO! Why would you say THAT? Oh it's just that you have definitely 'softened' up to him lately**

_Ugh! I think we'll leave this one right alone…_

_4. The word 'commitment' doesn't scare off chocolate _

…**. Unlike certain redhead's I know**

**Oh who's that?**

**Ugh! Dear Merlin, why do I have to have such a dimwitted best friend? **

**You! You, blind flubberworm**!

_Hey, I resent that! I am nothing like a flubberworm!_

**Okay, so maybe you don't have any flubberworm tendencies but you are afraid of commitment**

_I am not!_

**Yes, you are, why else would you completely ignore James' attempts to engage you in a romantic relationship**

_Ugh! What is it with people and THAT word! I hate THATword!_

**What word?**

_The 'e' word_

**Huh?**

_Engage – it's a horrible word_

**That may be so but it's beside the point, you're avoiding the subject**

_Oh, and just what is the subject?_

**You and James**

_What about James and I?_

**Sweet Merlin, you're annoying**

_Thankyou, I've been informed of that on numerous occasions_

**Well the fact of the matter is that you are ignoring James**

_I am not! I hang out with every now and then, just last Sunday we went and visited Alfred _

**Well you are ignoring all those little signals he's sending you He's sending me signals? Uh huh, lots of them **

_Why haven't I noticed?_

**Because you've been preoccupied with various other issues that have been claiming your attention**

_Like?_

**Well us, your friends, for start, Charlie and his confusing 4th year love life, your sister's wedding – I noticed she owled you the other day **

_Don't remind me, she was quizzing me on whether I had finalised the design of my Maid of Honour dress, I mean really as if it matters what I think the old bat is going to swoop in and change everything anyway _

**True, which brings me to my last point – your mother and her plans to bring you and Remus together, it's sort of been taking up most of your time worrying about it, no wonder poor James feels rejected**

'_poor James' now is it? Never mind poor Lily with all this on her plate _

**Yes, he's so very sweet, oh yeah and er, this came for you this morning but you were away in Lily land so I took it and let the poor owl go get it's breakfast which happened to be your bacon coincidently **

**Lily?

* * *

**

**Friday 22nd January – Astronomy Tower **

My mother is insane

The woman is truly deranged

The old bat is definitely bonkers and needs a bed reserved for her in St Mungo's

I've been coming up here fairly often lately even though it's absolutely freezing, but happens to be absolutely void of people which is a wonderful attribute at the moment as it means I can scream obscenities and no one hears them, and yes I do believed I have been pencilled in for a bed near my mother's in St Mungo's…

Between Tuna's incessant whining about her wedding and my mother's continual 'encouragement' I'll never make it till summer with out attempting to curse myself at least once

When Nessa handed me that letter in history I almost fainted

The overpowering lavender scent and neat flowing script meant it could only belong to one person – an unhinged bored housewife more commonly referred to as my mother

And you'll never guess what that oh so long letter was about – it had me wanting to pull out my hair in frustration when I was only a quarter of a way through

It was, to use Remus' terminology, an 'encouraging' letter, in which the old bat explicitly told me that I would be dating Remus by the en of the month and that when he asked me to Hogsmeade, because he most certainly would be asking me, that I was to accept

Pft! As if Remus is even going to ask any such thing

The rest of the letter went on to explain that I would be spending the Easter holidays with Remus as our families had decided to go on holiday together

Ugh! I don't think I handle this, I really can't

I was also informed that Remus shall be my date for Petunia's, as if I really care anyway, and then came a long winded explanation of my mother's expectations

I'm guessing that Daddy has no idea about this seeing as he was still entirely off the old bat when I last saw him

The best thing to do would be beat the deranged old bat over the head with my transfiguration book until I knock some sense into her…. Wait I think my book would fall apart first I rather need that one, unless…. I could just use my potions book! It's not like I use it anyway, it has at least an inch of dust covering it – it has a new life shielding from my view the carob chocolate mother sent me when she was on one of her health… thing. Carob chocolate, I mean honestly who eats this stuff? It doesn't taste nearly as good as the proper stuff, if you are going to treat yourself you may as well do it properly.

Anyway what was I talking about?

Oh yes my 'encouraging' letter

I think I'll have to talk it through with Remus and see what we can come up with

* * *

**Monday 24th January – Common Room **

It's my free study period so I thought I'd take this moment to document my continuing troubles with that damn letter

I finally caught up with Remus in the common room the other night, seems he's been getting similarly encouraging letters from his mother

The Marauders were grouped around the fire, planning something no doubt

As good a time as any to get this ruddy thing over with

"Remus"

The whole lot of them looked around and stared at me, geez address one and you're effectively addressing them all

Okay now would be the time for my Gryffindor courage to kick in – if I have any that is

"Er… Remus could I please talk to you for a second… privately"

I had to add the last part as they seemed to expect me to just blurt it all out

The Marauders may know about my little problem but I would rather just discuss it with Remus for the moment. At the moment I'm under way to much pressure to have to deal with their various responses

Remus followed me over to the other side of the common room

Remus had a knowing look on his face

He got things started before I could open my mouth

"This is about the Hogsmeade trip isn't it?"

I looked at him slightly startled, but I should have known that he would be clued up seeing as he's been getting the same sort of letters

"Yes, it's driving me absolutely balmy, my mother basically ordered me to date you"

Deluded old cow

"Yeah, she can be rather forceful"

Remus pulled out a something from his pocket and I caught a giant whiff of lavender…

She wouldn't!

I recognised the neat flowing script immediately

She did!

My mother has written to Remus

Oh lord that woman needs a serious talking to, just what does she think she's playing at?

"Let me guess it informs you that you _will_ ask me to the next Hogsmeade trip and that we _are_ spending the Easter holidays together?"

Remus have me a half smile

"Right in one"

At this point I had to clutch the arms of the chair I was sitting in to stop myself from losing it

… it didn't work

"Ugh! I can't believe her! Who the hell does she think she is? Messing around with my life like this, I hate when people do that"

I looked over at Remus he just looked as though he agreed entirely

"How are we going to… solve this? I mean no offence Remus but I could never date you and I'm pretty sure the feelings are mutual so what in the name of Merlin's wand are we going to do?"

Remus seemed to be thinking something over

"Well it's definite that we will not be dating one another, as to what we're going to do… you can start by taking a few deep breaths, we can deal with this, believe me Lily you're forceful enough to get through to your mother you just need to calm down first"

I hate it when he does that, he's all reasonable and what not

But I did as he said I tried to calm down

"Okay, now let's think, what can you say to her that will convince your mother to give up her ridiculous ideas"

I think of a variety of things to say to her, none of which are appropriate or would convince her to change her ideas

"Hmmm, I'm not really sure how to appeal to her other than t tell her she's a cow"

Remus just smiled

"That might not be the right way to go about it" he paused for a moment "How about you write her a letter expressing her views, I'll do the same with my mum, but we have to show them to each other first "

After that he left me to my letter writing, well he thought I was going to write my letter

Pft! As if I have time! I have to perfect my non verbal incantations for human transfiguration, revise for my potions practical – I may have to actually view the carob chocolate for a while seeing as this next antidote thing accounts for a large percent of our end of year mark, plus there's the essay due for Defence that requires tedious amounts of research in the restricted section

Yeah I'm really going to write my letter when I have all that to do

I watched Remus rejoin the Marauders, I saw their questioning looks and Sirius no doubt was asking what that was about but Remus just shook his head

See! Some people can keep their mouths shut! … wish I was one of them

Anyway seeing as it's my free period and I am at the moment unsupervised by friends, acquaintances or the like I may as well start my letter to my mother

Can I just say this letter business is a lot harder than it seems

I think this' going to take a while

Okay so this is the best I have come up with so far

_Dear Mother_

(I couldn't very well write Hey, Old Bat, now could I? it's very tempting though)

_In response to your previous letters I have decided that I need to put a stop to this once and for all. I am not going to date Remus Lupin or indeed marry him, so I would suggest you redirect your efforts to Petunia's wedding. _

_There is attraction between Remus and myself, there never has been and there never will be. We have a platonic friendship that will not progress to beyond that. And I hate to point this out mother, but I think you should realise that you can make as many demands as you like, however that does not mean that I shall pay any attention to them_

_I will not be escorted to Hogsmeade by Remus next weekend or any weekend for that matter. You may owl me all you like but I have to ask that you leave Remus alone, he will actually read your letters as he is far too polite to follow my example of putting them in the fire. _

_What I plan to do for the Easter school holidays is no concern of yours either, if you insist on holidaying with the Lupins in order to create time for Remus and I to spend time together, I shall be remaining at Hogwarts for the holidays. And if you decide to come to Hogwarts to forcefully remove me from school, I shall not co-operate in any way, shape or form._

_Remus will not be my 'date' for Petunia's wedding, I will not be told who I am and am not associating with, let alone in a relationship with. During the holidays I will plan my maid of honour dress, not before as my workload is far too high. I also have to ask if Daddy is aware of your incessant badgering to date Remus, as last time I talked to him he still disapproved. _

_I hope I have made myself perfectly clear that this scheme between Vivian and yourself will not succeed, kindly refrain from employing any more of your 'little tricks' to achieve your ridiculous objective _

_Lillianna _

Hhhhmmmmmmmm

That looks pretty good to me, straight forward to the point and leaves no room for interpretation – exactly what is needed when talking to my mother

Oh for the love of chocolate I'm going to be late for Transfiguration

* * *

**Transfiguration**

Thank Merlin I'm not too late

McGonagall's lips are rather thin

Never a good thing

"Sorry I'm late Professor, Peeves was terrorising the first years again"

Which is strictly true seeing as he was indeed trying to scare the first years that were waiting out for charms, I just shot a couple of sparks at him a I ran past

Technically I wasn't lying, though I tried to clear my mind seeing as I have my suspicions that McGonagall is actually a legiliumus, she manages to catch out students every time just by looking at them, I swear she can do the weird thing where she accesses your memory

But I didn't actually have to worry because McGonagall wasn't even looking at me she was still staring at the back of the room

"Thankyou Ms Evans, please take your seat so we can get started"

I made my way to my seat next to Cam and Rhi, waving to Tri, Nessa, Sirius, James and the Twins as I went

Wait Sirius and James? What in the name of chocolate are they doing here?

I cast them both a confused look as I sat down

When I looked back at McGonagall I realised what she was glaring at, Sirius and James had obviously done something, but it's only the beginning of the lesson…

"Today, we will be continuing with self altering human transfiguration, once you have accomplished changing the colour of your eyebrows please continue on to eyelashes. And as many of you will have noticed, we have two guests today, Messrs Black and Potter, please take no notice of them."

McGonagall's left us to work while she helps Mitchell Cook with his eyebrows, last time he ended up with furry caterpillars and the addition of massive side burns

I wonder why James and Sirius are here

_Cam, what are James and Sirius doing here? – LE_

**They got kicked out of class – CD**

_But it's the beginning of the lesson!_

**Well it seems Biggles wouldn't even let them in the Defence room, he just ordered them to come to McGonagall**

_Bet she loved that_

**Oh yeah, that's why she's in such a wonderful mood, she has to supervise the rowdy half of the Marauders twice today**

_What did they do to get Biggles' knickers in such a knot?_

**Well Biggles isn't such a great teacher anyway but I heard McGonagall muttering about carnivorous pink flamingos so that could mean anything**

_Oh dear, no wonder she was glaring at them_

I looked over to James and Sirius, Sirius was leaning back in his chair with his feat on the desk playing dragons and brooms with a very laid back James

_They don't seem all that concerned now do they?_

**Of course they don't, it's James and Sirius they never exert themselves in classes anyway**

**Don't look now but I think McGonagall's noticed their lack of remorse as well**

_All we have to do now is sit back and watch the show, where's the popcorn?_

McGonagall is now towering over the two prats who are blatantly playing a game during her class

Such idiots

"Just what do you think you are doing Mr Black, Mr Potter?"

Sirius just looks up casually

"Enjoying a nice game of Dragons and Brooms, care to join us Minnie?"

Uh oh, I don't think I can watch McGonagall's response

BAM!

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get it off, get if off!"

Oh my giddy aunt

_Er, Cam why is there a… Racoon! Attacking Mitchell Cook?_

**That racoon would be Melissa Darlington**

_Oh, she doesn't seem too happy about her new racoon status_

**From the way she's trying to gouge his eyes out I'd say your right**

_Oh dear I don't think she's going to come quietly_

**No, if McGonagall tries to pry her off Cook again I think she'll get more than just a bite on the hand **

**Is it just me or does Darlington seem a little racoon like still **

_Well I'm pretty sure that Melissa's hair wasn't nearly as bushy as that or quite so stripy, and I'm positive she didn't have rings around her eyes _

"What were you thinking Cook? It is self alteration, there was no reason to point your wand at a fellow class member!"

"Honestly Professor, I didn't do anything! I as just trying to change my eyebrows like you told me when there was a big bang and then there was this racoon jumping on me"

"Cook, I would like to believe that but your spells often misfire, you need to learn to take better care when casting spells"

"Professor I honestly didn't do anything! My wand wasn't anywhere near Melissa, I swear"

"That is enough Cook, 10 points from Gryffindor and be grateful it isn't more"

_Does this seem a little weird to you I mean I swear if Mitchell had misfired his wand it would have gone the other way _

**Yeah it look like that to me before as well**

_You don't think… Not even they would sink that low, at least I hope they wouldn't_

**I think they would, take a lot at Black's grin and Potter's smirk**

_Ooooooooh they are worse than dead_

* * *

**Girls Dorm**

Ugh! Regulus Black needs a muzzle

Preferably one that would cut off his air supply

That silly little boy just can't keep his mouth closed can he, he always has to put in his two cents worth

He was making rude comments about Dana and Bridget at dinner concerning their ability to go through boyfriends extremely fast

I almost socked him one but Cam decided that wasn't a good idea since McGonagall was still annoyed about the Marauder's and physically restrained me

Apparently they created even more havoc in her 7th year transfiguration class by smuggling in a couple of Nessa's Doxies and letting them lose on the rest of the class

Wait there's someone at the door

It's all right Nessa got it

"Hi Melissa, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow some of the twins' make up for my eyes Madam Wilks ran out of one of her potions and said she couldn't get anymore till tomorrow afternoon, I don't want to go round looking like this till then"

"Sure, Dana and Bridget have enough concealer to hide a small country"

Nessa led Melissa over to the twins' vanity and they re now trying to find the right stuff, which quite frankly could take forever seeing as there is so much rubbish to paw through

Personally I couldn't do it, the sacrifice is too great, I think I'd be driven mad by the number of identical looking labels

Thank god Dana's just appeared

"Hey Mel, how are you feeling after the racoon thing?"

Melissa's face just turned sour

"Like I could ditch Mitchell off the north tower"

That's a bit harsh

"But Melissa how do you know it was Mitchell? I mean his wand was pointing in the completely opposite direction"

She seemed to be thinking about this so I continued

"If you ask me it was Sirius or James who did it, they were just about to be blasted by McGonagall when you conveniently turned into a racoon and attacked Mitchell, even Cam thinks they did it"

Nessa and Dana rolled their eyes

Melissa however took me seriously

"Well that does make more sense, but I don't want to go scream at them"

Huh? What is the woman mad? If they did this to me they'd be lucky if they weren't racoons themselves, racoons that were being introduced to a balisk… they seem to like rodents

"Er, why not?"

Melissa looked at me horrified

"Are you joking? While I look like this? You must be mad!"

Oh for the love of….

"Well yes, then you could ask them to fix it"

I just got three blank stares in return for my stab at bringing logical reason to the world of teenage girls

Actually it was only two, Melissa's look of horror had just gone up to the 'I'm staring Voldemort in the face, he has a wand and I don't' level

"What about Lily asks James to fix seeing as she'll see him tonight at the prefect's meeting? Would that be okay?"

Nessa directed this at Melissa to calm her down but I was to understand it as more of an order than a request aimed at me

Wait a second…

"What prefect meeting?"

The three of them just stared at me again

Dana enlightened me

"The one you're going to be late for if you don't move your arse right now"

Crapolla, I'm late, again today

And I have to talk to James about the racoon thing

Oh bollocks

* * *

Hey everyone I reposted because firstly the dates were off and second the last time it was done in such a rush a number of things just went wrong. Hopefully it's now easier to read

Thanks again to everyone who reviewed

R

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	36. Note To Self

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

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**Tuesday 25th January – Library**

I've had enough of this prefect business; I think I should resign seeing as how bad a prefect I actually am. I mean I never do anything that would be describe as prefect worthy. Sure I go on patrols but that's because I have to and I only do the whole saviour thing of younger students when it's absolutely necessary, far too much trouble otherwise

It's completely overrated anyway, all we do is sit around gossiping about who got caught with who in the 3rd floor broom closet

Note to self: Never use the 3rd floor broom closet for privacy (aka snogging session) as it never stays private for long… this is actually a useless note seeing as I don't actually have anyone to be private with (aka snogging partner), but it may be a good piece of advice to pass on, to say Charlie, I think it's one of the few pieces of advice to do with the dating sector I could actually pass on to him…

Oh my chocolate, a fourteen year old is more inclined to be romantically linked than I am! I truly am pitiful; I think I'll dwell on that for a while

Okay enough dwelling, it's too depressing let's get back to the subject at hand, what was that again? Oh right the prefect meeting

Ugh

I'm beginning to notice a trend at these meetings

Amy gets stressed due to… well being a seventh year and head girl

She then takes it out on James and the rest of us by screaming her head off

James then tries to calm her down and takes over the meeting so that important issues are still discussed in a rational manner

(Who count's Moaning Myrtle flooding the girls' bathroom as an important issue anyway? I mean really, she's always doing that, anyone mentions breathing – she throws a tantrum and water goes everywhere. Now, if Myrtle were to be peeking in the prefects bathroom that would be a different matter… she's truly a weirdo that one)

The meeting then dissolves into multiple disagreements with more than one lot of people screaming at each other with the occasional hex thrown in (but I think that was because one of the Ravenclaws insulted the Hufflepuff quidditch team… idiot)

The meeting then ends with Amy screaming again and James shooting up sparks

As you can probably tell Daniel and I usually have a good laugh about all this, Remus sometimes joins us to laugh at James' frustration as he takes yet another ear bashing from Amy.

Tonight didn't differ from this formula at all

The 'important' issue this week was the dear desire of many students to kick Mrs. Norris

Hmmmm I have to say I agree with this one

Of course Amy thought it was preposterous that authority figures even voiced such a disgraceful idea, such a bad example for younger students. Pft! Like she hadn't wanted to give Mrs. Norris a swift kick up the… anyway the disagreement quickly escalated when a couple of Ravenclaws mounted there high horses waffling about morality

Daniel, Remus and I were in hysterics as Bill Watts, the Gryffindor 5th year prefect, put forward a very convincing argument to set up a student based organisation with the sole aim of capturing Mrs. Norris and stuffing her in the Vanishing cabinet

Amy turned purple, while one of the Ravenclaws put forward some snooty reasoning, only half of which was heard due to the multiple shouts of support for Bill

It's one of the few times I've seen Gryffindor and Slytherin so united on the one subject

James was trying very hard to keep a straight face but even he had to turn away when he caught our eyes to stop himself from cracking up completely

After that I was slightly more optimistic about getting him to first admit that he had turned Melissa Darlington into a raccoon and then tell me how I could fix it

Have I ever mentioned that being optimistic is completely against my nature and that whenever I do try my hand at it things usually don't work out?

Yes, I achieve much more when I'm cynical and pessimistic

I told Remus and Daniel my mission to extract information from James

Daniel just smacked his hand to his forehead and shook his head

I believe he has given up on trying to tell me anything, most of the time I don't listen anyway – he's made the wise decision of saving his breath….

He'll probably just gripe about my stubborn, pigheaded nature to the Remus all the way back to the common room

Remus however was slightly more supportive

"Good luck Lily, you're going to need it"

Did I say supportive? I meant extremely unhelpful

Note to self: Must find more supportive friends who believe in me – Psh! Now where would I find people like that?

But despite what people think I do realise that I will need all the luck in the present vicinity in order to get James to cough up the counter curse for Melissa, not to mention some arm twisting

Make that a lot of arm twisting

I waited till everyone else had gone ("Amy just go it's fine I can handle it, you go do… whatever, I'm Head Boy I can handle a simple cleaning spell") to put my persuasive charms in action

"Hi James"

Ha! 'Persuasive charms'! I just crack myself up

He jumped about a foot in the air and spun around to stare at me like a deranged deer caught in some startlingly bright headlights

"Merlin Lily you scared me! I thought everyone had gone"

Scared?

Of little old me?

The silly boy has lost his proverbial marbles

"Well they haven't"

I'm just sooo witty

"But I need to talk to you about something"

He gave me a suspicious look

"This would be anything like the last time you 'talked' to me would it?"

See what I mean about boys and their assuming natures?

Though if I had been thrown into a wall as a result of the last time someone talked to me I would probably be wary as well

I glared at him for the stupid assumption making

"No, it has to do with transfiguration, raccoons and Melissa Darlington"

His mouth formed a little 'o' shape as though that was the last thing he expected this talk to be about

Well honestly he didn't think no one would notice his turning someone into a racoon now did he?

"Really? And what do all those things have to do with me?"

I gave him a look

Blasted Marauders, they never admit to anything

"Everything"

He raised his eyebrows

"And just how did you make that little connection"

Because you don't have a subtle bone in your body!

When I pointed out this lack of subtlety, his face took on a very grim look, made him look quite striking actually

Bad Lily, Bad!

You're supposed to be wrangling information out of him not admiring his physical appearance or berating him for that matter, there's plenty of time for that later

Especially the former

Reading that previous statement I can only claim temporary insanity

Note to self: Must stop admiring the physical attractiveness of the Head Boy as it seems to addle the brains, especially when in an argument or trying to extract information or doing homework or… how about we just leave it at 'stop admiring the Head Boy altogether'

Anyway I changed tack to wrangling mode as taught to me by Dana and Bridget

"James, I was wondering if you could please help me with a problem I'm having in Transfiguration"

Sweeter than sugar, that's the trick

James surveyed me with a wary look due to my sudden change in demeanour

"Okay"

He doesn't look very willing to cooperate

"Say you accidentally turn your friend into a raccoon and when you restored them they retain some 'raccoonish' characteristics, how do you return them to there true previous form?"  
I ended with a piercing glare to make it clear that I knew he had turned Melissa into a raccoon and that he was going to help me get rid of the raccoonish attributes

And would you believe he had the nerve to smirk

Yes SMIRK and at ME, of all people

Oh, I could have smacked him one

"I'm sorry I can't help you, I've never 'accidentally' turned someone into a raccoon"

This time I did smack him, only on the upside of the head though

"Ow!" He rubbed his head and gave me a hearty glare

Pft! He glared at me, ME – the queen of death glares… what a pathetic effort

"Don't be a prat, and just help me would you!"

Why does he have to be such an arse about it?

"I'm a prat am I? That's not the best way to treat someone you're trying to get help from"

Oh dear, he's gone into that defensive, I'm-an-arsehole mode

Only one way to deal with this –

I grabbed him by the tie and pulled him down to my level so that our faces were inches apart

"Stop being such an arsehole and just tell me how to put Melissa right or else I'll tell McGonagall about who really disrupted her class" I hissed in a deadly whisper

Sweet Merlin, I'm such a snitch

I kept glaring at him as he thought about this, all the while not letting go of his tie and receiving quite the glare myself

"Fine, give her two table spoons of this" He pulled away and gave me a small sealed bottle of potion

I eyed it and then him suspiciously

Once I was satisfied I just gave him one more annoyed look and walked towards the door

"What I don't even get a thankyou? That's a bit harsh"

NO Lily, you are NOT under ANY circumstances allowed to kick him

Not even just in the shin, Anna…

No, that would be cruel… and as you have no self control would probably escalate to a full on beating which incidentally get you in trouble, him being the Head Boy and all

Stupid conscience

Note to self: Acquire new conscience as this one is completely off the rails, a new personality wouldn't go stray either – the present ones seem to be working together to plot my downfall, wait downfall from what? If I fall from grace I won't have very far to fall, now will I

Oh dear I'm confusing myself, let's move along shall we…

"Not when you're the one who caused the problem"

It was that or nothing, terrible comeback I know but I all my energy was concentrated on controlling the urge to just sock 'im and wipe that smirk off his face

I turned to go and next thing I know I'm staring at James' blasted chest, not that he doesn't have a very nice chest, it's just that it was unexpected

I mean really how do they keep doing that? Am I just abnormally slow or are the Potter brothers just incredibly fast? How is it that they always manage to miraculously cut off my exit just after I've turned my back on them?

They're a pair of weirdos I tell you, complete weirdos

Yes, I am completely aware that my name calling has a distinct resemblance to the saying 'the pot calling the kettle black' but I'm the self declared queen of hypocrisy so it's all good…

James had a funny little smile on his face, one that communicates to any normal person that things have just turned against them, a signal to run away from the smiler as fast as possible

See how I said normal, well I've never classed myself as normal and I definitely didn't pay attention to that smile, well not the way I was supposed to… it sort of put me on edge but I just gave him a 'get out of my way' look which he rudely ignored

Prat

"Now that's not very nice Lillianna"

I narrowed my eyes at the formal use of my name

"You should be a little more polite to your saviour; I do believe that's two favours you owe me now"

Now I was openly staring

I opened my mouth indignantly to reply but he cut me off

"You're so cute when you're angry beyond belief"

This alone unnerved me but the weird look in his eye really had me reeling

I was well beyond my comfort zone

Hey, what was that about being cute? I'm not 'cute'! I refuse to be cute!

Cute! Me? Ugh! What am I? An ugly puppy?

Actually I think I'd prefer not to get an answer to that one

He lovingly put my hair behind my ear before giving me one last smile and disappearing without a word

That boy has some serious issues

I think I mentioned previously that he has split personality disorder; the question is how many times exactly can the personality split?

Well, whatever that was about I resolutely refuse to acknowledge it

It took me a couple of minutes to get over the shock of that little exchange but once I did I rushed back to the girls dormitories, gave Melissa two spoonfuls and hopped into bed with hopes of never having to go over that little incident ever again

Note to self: Never again approach the Head Boy individually, always bring reinforcements, that way if he has one his little personality altering episodes there will be someone to protect you or at least witness his weirdness so that you can reassure yourself you're not going mad… wait that won't work seeing as I have to do patrols with him – bollocks all round

Bloody weirdo – that's the only way I can think to describe him

Speaking of weirdos…

Here's Charlie for his tutoring, which he doesn't really need anymore

He's just dumped his stuff on the table and is now glaring at it

I hope this has nothing to do with my talking to James or the Melissa thing because in all honesty I can't deal with either of those things at the moment

"I need to get a new tutor"

What an opening line…

Now that was totally unexpected

"What! I said I was sorry didn't I? I distinctly recall apologising profusely for talking to James on several different accounts! You can't still be mad at me! Can you?"

Charlie just looked at me startled for a second

"I'm guessing from that reaction you haven't heard then…"

I stare at him

"Heard what?" I managed to say through clenched teeth

Charlie gets a bit fidgety

"The rumours"

He looks positively scared

"What rumours?"

My voice is getting quieter and deadlier with each answer

Charlie takes a deep breath

"The-rumour-that-you-and-James-are-having-a-passionate-secret-love-affair-and-that-I-blasted-James-and-cursed-you-on-Thursday-in-a-fit-of-jealous-rage-when-I-found-you-together-in-the-common-room-as-I-have-fallen-deeply-in-love-with-you-while-you-were-tutoring-me"

It took me a moment to decipher exactly what he said because it all came out so quickly

"WHAT! Where in the world did that come from?"

I looked over at Charlie who had taken cover under his copy of The Standard Book Of Spells, Grade 4, he was using it as a head protection as he had sunken in his chair so all I could see was a pair of frightened brown eyes peering out at me

"Sorry Charlie, you can come out I promise I won't shout at you again or cause any grievous bodily harm"

The batty old Madam Pince stuck her head around the corner

"What is all this racket about? This is a library and that means there should be silence! I will have to ask you to leave Ms Evans if you do not quieten down"

It's a library? Wow, I didn't notice, what with all the BOOKS EVERYWHERE!

Stupid woman …

Although she is very talented in the way that she can scream at you without raising her voice above a whisper…

Okay Lily now is not a time for sarcasm but for bullshitting, I mean creative answers

"I'm so sorry Madam Pince it's just that someone's scribbled in this book"

I thrust a random book at her

She opened the book and examined it

"By Merlin's wand your right, tsk, tsk, tsk, I will have to clean it immediately and punish the culprit, thankyou so much for bringing this to my attention Ms Evans, please continue with your work"

I let out a deep sigh

Thank Merlin for over active imaginations

"That was close"

Charlie had finally emerged

"Yeah, we have a nutter for a librarian what do expect? And there was no need to act as though a nuclear bomb was going to go off"

"A what was going to go off?"

Purebloods, I tell you they have no concept of the danger the arms race between the superpowers has created and they call muggles ignorant…

"An nucl – oh never mind, I wasn't going to hex you or anything"

He gives me a measuring look

"Better be safe than sorry, you're not famous for your temper for nothing"

I'm famous for my temper, that's interesting

Wait who was it who said something about me and famous?

Nick!

I believe he called me 'the infamous Gryffindor redhead', I wonder if my temper's what he was referring too?

Anyway back to this rumour

Note to self: Must stop behaviour that has resulted in the multiple rumours that have been started this year… I mean it's not like I'm an interesting person they could at least find someone interesting to whisper and conspiracise about, anyway, technically, I have not done anything that would be considered controversial, stupid people and their stupid theories…

"Where did you hear that rumour from?"

Charlie collapsed onto the desk

"Everyone"

I need a cookie and I need one now

* * *

**Thursday 26th January – Library**

Charlie's just left

The whole love triangle thing is taking its toll on the poor little thing, apparently Melissa hasn't talked to him all week and he's devastated. I can relate to that, so I didn't mention anything when his wrist movement was a bit off this afternoon

He's not the only one feeling the effects of that stupid rumour. I've had numerous knowing glances thrown my way, some jealous glares and various crude comments

But really I think Charlie is worse off than me, I mean I'm only romantically linked with James (I love how I just said 'only' romantically linked, had this rumour gone round at the beginning of the year I would have been very, very distressed, but all I can say is at least he's good looking… Bad Lily! BAD!) and appear to be highly desirable, this in itself should have been an indication of the ridiculous nature of the rumour. Whereas Charlie is apparently insanely jealous of his older brother and has fallen in love with said brother's girlfriend, he comes off a little unbalanced to be honest and not at all likeable, which again is another indication of how off this rumour is seeing as I am yet to meet a person who doesn't like Charlie once they've met him, excluding some Slytherins

I mean honestly who takes Anna and Judy seriously? The pair of them are a rumour mill in themselves

At first Dana and Bridget came running up to me demanding to know why I hadn't told them – these would be the type of people who take Anna and Judy serious

Of course the rest of them thought it was just plain hilarious

Cam, Tri and Nessa wouldn't shut up, I thought they were going to stop breathing at one point, they all ended up in pain though due to the stitches they got from laughing so much, serves 'em right the twats

Rhi at least had the decency to just smile and shake her head

Once the twins realised it was the twisted workings of Anna and Judy's imaginations they dissolved into a fit of giggles

Cam finally calmed down enough to talk, he thought it would be good to console me seeing as I was looking a little down and at not at all humoured by this ridiculous rumour

"Think about the irony Lily, you and James, together, Charlie madly on love with you and then attacking you both, it's so ridiculous it's laughable"

As he said it a smile crept on my face as I thought about it I ended up laughing just as loud as Nessa, Tri and Cam

We were interrupted from our musings and laughter by Remus

"Do I even want to know what that was about?"

Remus must have witnessed Dana's impression of the rumour where Charlie catches James and I in the common room, there was a large amount of slapping hands to the face and horrified looks. Cam and I were leaning on each other for support we were laughing so much

It took me a moment to collect myself

"Probably not, but it was Dana's impression of that ridiculous rumour"

Remus considered it for a moment

"Which one?"

I had to laugh

"The one about James and I having a secret passionate love affair and Charlie attacking us in a fit of jealous rage"

Remus just stared

"I know, it's ridiculous in every account, was there something you wanted?"

It took him a moment to remember what he'd came over for

"Oh yeah, letters to deranged, determined mothers"

I went and got my letter to show him

Remus had his as well, his was a lot more informal and far nicer

But we both agreed that a firm line had to be taken with my mother, so my letter was fine

Remus said he would send them both away tonight hopefully that would be the end of the problem

"Now what's with this rumour?"

I looked at him searchingly

"You haven't heard it before just now?"

He shook his head

"Well you know the fifth years Anna and Judy?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Yes well they started it as they didn't know the full story of what happened on Thursday and the rest of Hogwarts has pounced on the scrap of seemingly juicy gossip"

"So what were they saying exactly?"

How do I put this?

Keeping a straight face would be an excellent start

"Firstly James and I are apparently secret lovers, we've been sneaking around Hogwarts, didn't you know. But that's not all, I being the scarlet woman I am have enchanted the younger brother, Charlie, who has fallen madly and deeply in love with me"

Remus was staring at me again

"Now, what has brought all this to the attention of the Hogwarts public was on Thursday night when Charlie discovered James and me in a passionate embrace in the common room, sending him into a fit of jealous rage. He then proceeded to take out his revenge on James for always being better than him by thrashing him multiple times against a wall and apparently he cursed me, all the while calling me a filthy whore"

Remus just blinked

"Yeah, it takes a couple of minutes to process but when you think it through it's hilarious, I mean as you know Charlie was trying to hex the living daylights out of me because I told James he likes Melissa Greenly"

We sat in silence for a minute

"That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've heard all year"

I smiled

"You can see why we laughing about it now can't you"

Remus just shook his head

"I feel really sorry for Charlie though seeing as everyone seems to think that he likes me when he's been agonising over this Greenly girl for weeks now"

Remus is smiling now and seems to be seeing the funny side

Note to self: Never mind about the finding of new friends thing the ones I have are just fine, including Remus

"I'm glad to see it's not getting you down, I'll go and post these letters now, I've got a horror of a defense essay to write tonight. See you later Lily"

More like he's gone to tell the rest of the Marauders

Well, here I am in the library, I should be doing my potions but really who cares it's not as if Fogarty'll read the silly thing anyway

Oh bollocks I have to do patrols tonight with James… hmmm I don't know if he'll be pleased to see me but I for one am dreading it seeing as what happened last time we met

Note to self: REMINDER – Do NOT under ANY circumstances consciously admire Head Boy's obvious physical attractiveness, what a task I've set for myself but hey, I can still admire on a _sub_conscious level – I love loop holes

* * *

**Dorm room**

Well that went… it was… I suppose interesting could explain it, sort of

I was right about Remus telling the rest of the Marauders

James was a little weird about the whole thing tonight, he didn't quite know what to do or say, quite funny really

I dropped my stuff in the common room with Rhi and met James at the portrait hole as I was leaving. I smiled as he let me go through first and waited for him

My first tip off was that he wasn't wearing the usual grin

As we started off in silence James seem to be brooding about something

I thought it would be best to leave him be – Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus after all

I could sense trouble when we got to the astronomy tower, I hate having to check the astronomy tower. There's almost a guarantee that some idiot will be up there trying to 'wow' his girlfriend with a romantic night under the stars

gag

Note to self: Never let a boy take you to the astronomy tower as it is unimaginative and it's a definite that you'll be busted – what am I talking about, no one of the male species is about to take ME up there

Usually I get James to do the whole 'Stop! Desist!" thing but he was off in another world so I had to do it

That bloody Ravenclaw prefect and his girlfriend

Ick, ick, ick… ICK!

That boy has an unusual fascination with this place

I just pointed my lit wand at them

"Out, now"

James has sort of come to

"Jacobson! Not again, how many times do I have to tell you, the astronomy tower is not your personal cocoon of love! Get out! Ten points from each of your houses"

The poor girl looked mortified

"You mean it's not only 8:30?"

Oh dear why do I sense that Jacobson has been up to something

"No, now get going before I give you both detention"

The girl turned furiously on Jacobson; we could hear her berating him all the way down the hall

"Bloody Jacobson"

Well at least he's talking now, that's something

"Should we check the roof for anyone else?"

He turned and smiled at me

"If by 'we check the roof' you mean 'will I please check the roof' then sure, wait here"

I beamed at him as he disappeared up to the roof

He catches on quickly this one, at least he's realised that I hate having to bust people

I began to get worried I mean James was taking a while and I hadn't seen anyone come down yet

I decided to go up and see what he was up too

"James, what are you doing? Is there anyone up here?"

That's when my heart leapt into my throat, my palms started sweating and my eyes went very, very big

There was no one up there

I nervously approached the edge of the tower and peaked over

Please, please, please let there be no tormented looking body at the foot of the tower

Hey, James may annoy me beyond belief but I don't want him dead, no matter how many times I would actually like to kill him personally… plus I don't think the female population could handle losing one of the better pieces of eye candy it may destroy what little faith they have in the human race

Nope, no body, tormented or otherwise, that's a relief I can tell you

The only problem now is, where is the over-grown idiot?

Note to self: Never let patrols partner go on to the top of the Astronomy tower alone – you're practically assured of a heart attack

I went back down into the tower and James was there looking around like he had lost a favourite toy or like me when I lose a my homework

"Where have you been?" he immediately demanded from me

Well, if that just doesn't beat all, he disappears off the face of the earth and gives me a heart attack and then demands to know where I am, the nerve of some people!

"Where have I been? Where have _you_ been? You went up to the top of the tower and didn't come back and when I went up there, the place was deserted, you scared the life out of me, you over grown moron!"

He has the decency to look a little ashamed

Too right he should, stupid wanker

"Oh, right, there was a couple of Hufflepuffs on brooms that were hovering around the tower and were pretty pleased with themselves so I decided to give them a bit of a fright and jump onto one of their brooms and got them to land in here and yeah…"

I stared at him as he trailed

"You jumped on to one of their brooms?" I asked incredulously "Are you completely insane? What about if you didn't make it?"

Has he hit his head lately? Brain damage can be the only explanation, I mean why else would someone jump from a tower to a broom with and I don't even want to think about how far down drop

"But I did"

I stared at him again

"And that makes it alright does it! You're mad, bleeding deranged, completely out of your tree"

He was looking a little uncomfortable

I was still in disbelief that he had leapt from the top of the tower onto a moving broom so I just walked out to continue the rounds

James came running after me

"Lily, wait up! I'm sorry, please don't be mad I wasn't thinking and well the Hufflepuffs are really getting on my nerves with their winning the quidditch cup nonsense"

I just looked at him

"Quidditch cup nonsense?" I asked with a raised eyebrow

He sort of paled a little

"Well, er…what I meant was… uh, that their boasting and all…"

I stopped him from his mumbling with a cheesy grin

"It's all right I want to ring their necks most of the time too when they start on about how they're destined for the cup. I mean who are they kidding? They don't stand a chance against Gryffindor"

I looked him in the eye

"You had better thrash them this weekend, especially after that reckless dare devil stunt you just pulled"

I was smiling to show that I wasn't really serious or mad at him

Though why he would think I was mad at him is beyond me, I thought he would just roll his eyes and tell me it was none of my concern what he does because to be honest it isn't really but still you can't just go throwing yourself off towers willy nilly – awaiting brooms or not

"So I take it you will be cheering Gryffindor on this Saturday"

Good thing I'm good at reading code - Oh yes I'll definitely be cheering you on James, don't you worry about that

"Nessa and Tri would slaughter me if I tried any thing else" James' face fell a little bit "… Plus I'm a Gryffindor, I want to see you lot wipe the floor with the Hufflepuffs"

He brightened a bit

"Well, well, well if it isn't Potty and Evans. Been in any broom closets lately? Or are we avoiding the wrath of the younger Potty"

Ugh! Peeves, the idiot of a poltergeist

Note to self: Must discover some way of buying Peeves so that he keeps his abnormally large, misty nose to himself

"Bugger off Peeves, we're on patrol"

Yeah, he'll really listen to that James

"Now, now, no need to get narky"

Peeves looks positively gleeful

"You know the Bloody Baron was around here earlier, muttering about not wanting to be interrupted, so I would be careful if I were you Peeves"

The gleeful look just melted to one of upmost fear

He mumbled something about catching students out of bed and zoomed away

Who knew he was so easily fooled, but it says more about Peeves' fear of the Bloody Baron than anything else

James is looking thoughtful again

It's definitely about that bloody rumour

Ugh! I think I've mentioned my intense dislike for awkward silences before and it was one of those moments when the awkward silence was overbearing

I just had to break it

"Knut for your thoughts?"

James looked up

"Only worth a knut are they?"

I gave him a look

"What 're you thinking about? It seems to have you quite distracted"

He didn't answer and just kept looking off in space

So I decided to bring up the subject we both knew was being avoided

"Is this about that rumour about us and Charlie?" I let out a little laugh "It's ridiculous you have to admit"

Oh dear he's giving me one of those looks, you know those odd looks that are sort of sad and hopeless and make you feel guilty as hell as though you've done something wrong, not that I have done anything wrong, that I know of anyway… yes, well it was a very weird look

I thought I better explain what I was on about

"I mean Charlie jealous of you? No one who knows him would ever say that and as for being in love with me…" here I really did laugh "I do believe he told me that it was easy to talk to me because 'I'm different and his charms tutor' to put it nicely, where as he's been agonising over this Greenly girl for weeks. Oh and did you know that being nervous is a foreign concept in your family? Charlie was bewildered by the fact that he got tongue tied and went red when he tried to talk to the girl, I don't think he's ever had that problem before"

I looked over at James he seemed rather amused

"Yeah, well we do have a tendency to be slightly over confident"

I gave him a disbelieving look

"Slightly over confident? The poor boy looked as though he'd been contacted by extraterrestrial beings"

James just looked at me rather confused

What is this? I can't say anything in relation to muggle concepts with out half the people in this school looking at me like I'm mad

"He looked like he'd never been so insecure before, would you believe he didn't even realise he was nervous, Charlie just thought he was a weird creature from the black lagoon"

James smiled

"Yeah, well, he always was a cocky little prat"

I raised an eyebrow

"As opposed to you – a cocky _big_ prat"

He laughed at that

"Have you talked to him though about the whole dating thing and reassured him that it's normal to be nervous"

Great, just great, I sound like a broody mother hen

"Because he's even more paranoid about talking to Melissa now because of this whole rumour thing"

Poor little chap, I'm beginning to think I really will have to say something to Ms Greenly to clear up the whole mess

"Yes, I did my brotherly duty as you so kindly put it, but I'll talk to him again if you want me too"

"Thanks, that would make me feel better" I answered with a smile

We reached the portrait hole and I went through first

I said good night to James and I noticed that as I left he became rather serious and sober again, I hope he isn't to put out by the rumour thing or how lightly I'm taking it, I mean those nosy fifth years came up with it and it is essentially ridiculous

You know what though I can't wait till Saturday, I was serious about the Hufflepuffs being used as floor rags – if I have to listen to one more rant about the supremacy of the Hufflepuff quidditch team at a prefects meeting I shall throttle someone

And hopefully those extra quidditch practices will be worth it and then Nessa, Tri, Daniel and the rest of the quidditch team will shut up about how gruelling they are. But I do admire James for that he's not willing to underestimate the opponent even though it's probably all talk , he's still putting in the extra work just in case the Hufflepuff team are half as good as they say

Speaking of James, he's definitely not too happy about something, hopefully he'll snap out of it soon or else I shall be bored to tears on patrols. Usually I can at least have a semi decent and intelligent conversation about weird things now he's just sulking and that gets boring extremely quickly

Well the quidditch match should cheer him up

Oh bollocks I forgot about my potions essay, I better go do that now before I'm temped to go read the new soppy romance novel Dana just finished

What can I say, I'm a sucker for romance

Note to self: Must find more suitable and substantial reading material as present reading material is turning me into a romantic sap, I though a couple of fifth years acting all shy towards each other was sweet – ugh! Kill me now, and I happen to hate romantic sappage – it also makes more susceptible to getting carried away with my own little dream world and a lap over between fantasy and reality seems to be created

I really need to get that sorted out

* * *

Hey everyone! Aren't you glad to see me? I mean I updated in what a week? I have to say I'm pretty proud of my effort, also I'm extremely proud of the fact that I now have over 1000 reviews! Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, I really do appreciate the feed back about the story and how readers think everything is going.

I also happened across the new 'hits' section of my account and my chocolate I got quite the shock, according to the fanfiction recording system I have had approximately 1500 hits to Chapter 34 alone! Well blow me done I had no idea how many people had actually looked at it but can I just say I truly appreciate the fact people are reading my story

THANK YOU to all that reviewed or read

I'll update soon and don't forget…

R

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	37. Unwanted Answers

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Sunday 29th January – Library **

I hate potions

I'm suppose to be doing a potions essay on a potion of my own choice that held some significance during the last great wizarding battle with Grindwald or whatever his name was and then I have to say how it could be used in today's society against the rise of Voldemort – I refuse to call him 'Lord' as he's obviously made the whole thing up and I am not going to show him any sort of politeness, let alone respect

Oh and that reminds me on Friday the Daily Prophet reported mass muggle disturbances and tortures, all claimed by old Voldy – and didn't that turn out to be such a lovely day…

First my favourite type of tea was missing and I had to trek all the way over to the Ravenclaw table and had to fight off some stressed out seventh year for the tea pot, that boy seriously needs a calming charm or something… draught of the living dead anyone?

Then I read about Voldemort's latest antics, which by the way were rather distressing seeing as how comfortable his followers are going out in broad daylight to engage in a bit of muggle sport – sickening really, this was then followed by a lovely double period of potions….

Someone up there really rather likes me now don't they?

And the fun didn't stop, oh no as I was leaving the great hall at lunch I managed to walk straight into someone, meaning I fell backwards as said person was rather tall and muscular and not at all effected by my bashing into them, and all my stuff scattered across the hall

Fabulous, absolutely bloody fabulous

But of course that's not all, it just so happened that I slammed into James Potter of all people, who may I say did not seem at all happy to see me lying there staring up at him, he actually seemed quite preoccupied with his thoughts and I don't think he even recognised me. But yes, he quickly helped me up and went on his way in the still dazed state – queer boy, well no not in the sense that you're probably thinking there's enough witnesses to account for that, though given thought that would explain a lot…

My marvellous day didn't end there though, when I was coming out of the library on the way to dinner I found a couple 3rd year boys in an all out muggle punch up, their wands lay forgotten by their bags. It was a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor and apparently they had come to blows over a disagreement about the outcome of the quidditch match tomorrow. I'm the first to admit that I'm a shocking prefect but even I can't just let it slide when I happened to walk in on two kids trying to smash each other's brains in, I had to act. I gave them both detention and sent them on their way, in opposite directions of course.

Measly punishment, I know but what can I say I'm lazy, surprisingly though they took this as a form of kindness that I didn't talk to their Heads of House

This meant that I had to spend MY Friday night supervising a couple of third years scrubbing moaning myrtle's toilet. Of course Myrtle seemed to enjoy it, you know vindictively throwing water every where and occasionally at the boys… admittedly I egged her on though, we actually got on quite well discussing a great number of things, I think I shall have to schedule more detentions there when ever I get round to the whole prefect thing and actually punish bad behaviour, Myrtle makes it quite entertaining.

See I had a shockingly exhausting day, it was no wonder that I slept in late the next day and having had enough of the twins and their quidditch fanaticism I charmed my bed curtains with a silencing spell and Imperturbable charm – I did not want to be hauled out of bed at 6:30 in the morning after my _delightful_ day in the world of me.

This of course meant that I was late getting up and going down to breakfast, which I have to say, turned out to trigger a rather unfortunate series of events.

I was quietly making my way down to breakfast, minding my own business, admiring some of the more… unusual painting subjects when I heard scuffling and groaning and all other things that indicate a fight is taking place. Well me being me, I thought it would be best to let the frustrated students work it out between themselves, I mean the hallways were deserted, everyone was down at breakfast eagerly anticipating today's quidditch match, why not let the little cretins work things out for themselves?

Well it made sense to me, but for those who disagree you'll be happy to know I did indeed intervene….

Alright so I _had_ to intervene but I would have done so of my own free will eventually… maybe… if it didn't make me late for my date with a bacon and egg sandwich

When I turned the corner they were right in front of me but I still acted in a surprisingly prefect like manner, that must get me some credit surely. Anyway it was the two little toerags from the night before, when I realised this I really was tempted to just keep on walking and let them finish each other off but then my conscience caught up with me and I blasted them apart

They rounded on me, both looking quite annoyed that their little get together had been interrupted. The Hufflepuff gave me a rather hearty glare

Well right back at you buddy

I suppose I _have_ to do the prefect thing now

Bugger

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

This question was met with silence

"Did detention mean nothing to you?"

Again they both just stood there, glaring at one another rather than me, for which I have to say I was thankful

"Is this really just over the quidditch or is there something else?"

Well I had to ask, I mean really who repeatedly comes to blows over quidditch?

"What do you mean _just over the quidditch_?" they both hollered

Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs apparently

I rolled my eyes

"Right, two nights of detention for you both next week, you will be notified of your detention times by owl"

The Gryffindor boy did not take to kindly to this

"What! With all the homework I've got, you want to give me another two detentions?"

He's rather indignant about a punishment for someone who was just involved in two consecutive punch ups

"Be grateful it isn't more, the only reason you got off so lightly is that I have to supervise your detentions"

Sweet Merlin what have got myself into?

"You wait till I tell James Potter about this!"

Oooh, I'm shaking in my furry little boots

"Oh, please don't, the Head Boy will be ever so displeased that _I'm actually performing my prefect duties_" I pleaded in my over dramatic damsel in distress voice

Would you believe the horrid little monster grinned at my sarcastic comment

"Yeah, but he might be annoyed about the fact that his girlfriend doesn't support his quidditch team! Shouldn't you be down in the Great hall giving him a good luck kiss, not that he really needs it since it's Hufflepuff, but any excuse will do"

Why that cheeky little sod!

I was about to give him a good slap on the upside of the head but the Hufflepuff beat me to it…

Through out my exchange with the Gryffindor, the Hufflepuff had looked torn between giving me a good thrashing and finishing what he started, it appears that last quidditch related dig swayed his decision

So here we are again, the two third years desperately trying to cause each other as much pain as physically possible, wands and magic completely forgotten…

Quidditch brings out their primitive instincts

Anyway this time I really did get angry, I started yelling and sounded suspiciously like my mother, which of course just aggravated me further

"Enough!" I blasted them apart again "I really didn't want to have to do this but you're forcing me – ten points from each of your houses for fighting in the corridors and now we are going to go see your Heads of House"

I grabbed them both by the collar and hauled them off to see Hufflepuff Head of House, Professor Williams. She was in her office and just preparing to go down to the pitch when I knocked

"Ms Evans, how can I help you?" Professor Williams asked with a cheery smile

Her welcoming smile slid off her face when she saw the two boys I was dragging behind me

I explained how they had been caught fighting twice in two days, with one detention already issued, Williams just thanked me and told the boy, Simone Watts or something, to sit.

Next it was to see McGonagall, something I really wasn't looking forward to

I looked at my watch, nine forty five, I had an hour and fifteen minutes to get down to the pitch, hopefully McGonagall would be feeling gracious and not rant about my prefect duties

"You better not make me late for the match" I hissed at the Gryffindor third year, I think his name is Greg Carpale or something

He just glowered up at me, since I'm about a head taller than him and had my wand out I think he just saw it as reasonable to not retaliate

When we reached McGonagall's office she opened the door just like Professor William's, rather cheery and pleasantly surprised and then her face fell when she saw Carpale or whatever his name is

McGonagall raised her eyebrows

"What is the meaning of this Ms Evans?"

I sighed

"Greg here ("George!" the kid interrupted indignantly), fine! _George_, was caught fighting with a fellow third year of Hufflepuff twice in two days, yesterday they were assigned detention and today they were caught trying to cause each other grievous bodily harm again"

Oh dear she doesn't look happy, hopefully she'll concentrate on Greg here – I mean George, I was almost right I got the G thing

"Were you the one to intervene in both their interactions, Ms Evans?"

Oh bollocks…

"Yes Professor"

Here it comes, I can see McGonagall puffing herself up

"Really Ms Evans, you should have reported this type of behaviour to the young gentlemen's Heads of house immediately instead of letting this go unresolved"

What a wonderful couple of days I'm having

Now it's time to appear caring rather than lazy

"I'm sorry Professor, I thought it was just pre-match tension billowing over and that the boys would get over it. I assigned them detention and thought that would be the end of it, I didn't think there was a need to involve the professors"

Please, please, please, let her take that as an acceptable answer…

McGonagall gave me a piercing stare before dismissing me and told Campbell to have a seat, I admit I was way off on the name thing but I have to deal with a number of little snot bags every day, you can't expect me to remember ALL their names. But at least McGonagall let me off…

By the time I got down to the quidditch pitch it was about ten to eleven, I had ten minutes to find my friends in the crowd of what looked to be whole student body crammed into the quidditch stands.

I doubt Culhwch could even do it and look what_ he _accomplished to be with Olwen, mind you he had Arthur's knights to help him so maybe that's not the best example…

There was no possible way I was going to find my friends, even with the twins decked out like they usually are, and reach them before the game started, even then I had to count on them saving me a seat which wasn't likely considering they probably thought I wasn't coming seeing as they hadn't seen me since dinner the night before

But I decided to take a crack at it anyway

Very foolish I know, but I had to at least try

It was impossible to tell if was even going in the right direction of actual Gryffindors as the majority of the stands were decked out in red and gold

I mean usually it's guaranteed that the Slytherins as well as half the Ravenclaws will support the Hufflepuffs. The rivalry between the Slytherin and Gryffindor houses is so great, especially when it comes to quidditch, the Slytherins barrack for the opposing team just to nettle the Gryffindors. The Ravenclaws on the other hand just like to be fair minded about things and support both teams, as they get along just fine with both Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.

But today the Hufflepuffs had pushed the rest of the houses a little too far. The Ravenclaws were well and truly fed up with being told that Hufflepuff was going to slaughter them, so today every single one of them were wearing Gryffindor colours and cheering our team on just to spite the Hufflepuffs. Even the Slytherins were fed up, they were glaring maliciously at the Hufflepuffs and a few were even sporting Gryffindor colours

Slytherins wearing GRYFFINDOR COLOURS!

Oooh, the Hufflepuffs have really done it this time

What with their ridiculous carry ons about quidditch supremacy, the chants, banners and demonstrations just proved to be going a little to far even by quidditch fanatic standards

I was just starting to lose all possible hope of sitting with a familiar face when I heard my name

"Lily! Lily over here!"

I turned around and there was Nicholas Fibonacci waving we over like a mad thing

Uh oh

One thing worse than mad Hufflepuff fans, mad Hufflepuff fans you know personally

This does not look good

I made my way over and smiled tentatively at his friends who all seemed nice enough considering I was wearing a Gryffindor scarf and rosette.

"Hey Lily"

Well at least Nick's all chirpy, I got a few 'hi's and a couple of head tilts from the people he was sitting with

"Hi" I practically squeaked

"Would you like to sit with us? It's just you seem to have lost your friends"

I hesitated for a moment and opened my mouth to politely decline when Nick quickly interrupted

"Don't worry we're not crazy quidditch fans, we won't try to bring about your death for being a Gryffindor"

I looked at him for a moment

I discovered you really can't say no to those big blue eyes and was compelled to sit down next to him, one person decked out in red in a sea of yellow but he was right the people up here were pretty relaxed and easy going – true Hufflepuffs

"Anyway the real fanatics are down the front, you can see Ellen down there with Terry, those two are really wound up about this quidditch thing" Nick pointed down to the front of the stands

I could indeed spot the curly brown haired girl who had previously given me her best glare the last time we met, she was screaming something across the pitch at the other stands

I followed her line of sight and found my friends all sitting up the very front, Bridget and Dana appeared to be telling Curly Sue over here exactly what she could do with those pompoms of hers. Rhi and Cam appeared to be bent over in laughter at the ridiculous bravo being exchanged

I pointed this out to Nick, he laughed and pointed it out to the girl next to him, Nadia her name turned out to be, and Darren, the boy sitting next to me. Both Nadia and Darren found this rather entertaining and before long the four of us were sitting there sniggering at the furious battle of words taking place across the pitch

The fun really began though when the game began

Now I'm the first to admit that I know very little about quidditch but even I have to say that was a very good game. The Hufflepuffs were right when they said that their team had improved beyond recognition because in all honesty they had, but mind you last year Gryffindor beat Hufflepuff 360 – 50 and it was over within two hours, not really something hard to improve upon

The game was excellent, there was no foul play and there were no easy points for either team. I can understand from this game why the fanatics act the way they do, I myself am a football fanatic, I love it, both the English premiere league and the European competitions. I took my friends to football game once, they weren't really that impressed, well Bridget and Dana were but for different reasons than myself. Apparently football players are much better looking than quidditch players…

I have to question that though, there are some pretty fit looking quidditch players about

But back to this game, it was so much fun to watch, I think that was partly due to the company I was sitting with. Darren was cracking jokes the whole way through about both sides and I was able to get into playful banter with the three of them about the superiority of our respective quidditch teams. It was just a lot of fun

Towards the end of game the score was even, the goals were few and far between and one team was only ever in the lead by ten points. The pressure on the seekers was doubling with each passing minute

Nadia and I were having a competition of who could yell encouragement for our seekers the loudest and I'm proud to say I won that one. Mikey and Malcolm (Hufflepuffs seeker) took absolutely no notice of us but Nick and Darren thought it was just plain hilarious. When we asked what was so funny they pointed to Curly Sue and the twins across the pitch.

Nick composed himself enough to tell us that we looked just like the fanatics before bursting into a fresh round of laughter

Nadia and I both looked indignant for a moment before we caught each other's eyes and started laughing just as hard as the boys. We got quite a few curious looks for that, there we were, the four of us, killing ourselves laughing while the rest of the crowd was going crazy looking for the snitch

I think the Cheshire cat sums it up quite nicely 'We're all mad here'

Then quite suddenly the whole stands went deathly quiet

Mikey had gone into a dive and Malcolm was racing up from the other end of the pitch

People began squinting to spot the snitch, trying to see where exactly Mikey had fixed his eyes so resolutely. The whole crowd started whispering about the snitch and who was going to get there first.

At the last second Mikey pulled out of the dive and race off in the direction that Malcolm had come from. Malcolm tried to follow but was quick enough to react and ploughed into the ground

The crowd cringed for Malcolm but soon all eyes were diverted to Mikey who had charged through the chasers to the Gryffindor goals next thing we know he's holding his arm high in the air and landing

The Gryffindors exploded into cheers, fireworks, sparklers and rockets went off simultaneously, the Gryffindor quidditch team looked as if they one big blob of red, I hate to think how Mikey was feeling since he was in the middle, I wonder if he could breath?

The Ravenclaws are joyfully cheering and some are even consoling the devastated Hufflepuffs. The Slytherins… well to be truthful I can't tell if the Slytherins are depressed by the result of the game or happy about it. Half look as though they've just swallowed a bowl full of doxy droppings and the other half are smiling smugly and taunting the Hufflepuffs

Wait, that's not really out of the ordinary, it's completely normal actually

Nick, Darren and Nadia applauded both teams and smiled sadly

"Well we gave it our best shot, I don't think we did too badly at all" said Nick

The final score was 350 – 210, with the capture of the snitch as the decider, definitely an outstanding effort by both teams

Nadia sighed

"We never expected to win you know" I gave her a disbelieving look "Well they did" she indicated to the true fanatics at the front of the stands who all looked quite devastated "but the rest of us were well aware that we could never beat Potter's team"

I just laughed

To what size would James' ego swell if he heard that?

I think I'd rather not know

"Oh well better luck next time, I better go and congratulate the team. Thankyou for letting me sit with you and have a good night"

Nick smiled

"Any time Lily, congratulate Potter and the rest of the team for us. See you around"

I yelled good bye as I made my way to the pitch and I managed to run into Mikey, quite literally and hugged the life out of him. He was quite chuffed with himself, even when a crowd of fourth year girls came and mobbed him

So last night the whole population of the Gryffindor tower was a 'wee' bit merry with the celebrations going on late into the night

When I finally found my friends they seemed to have moved on to the fire whiskey stage of the evening, I had got caught up talking to Sophie Baxter who was babbling away again about – well in all honesty I didn't really listen, doubt I could have understood her if I had – I think she started on the fire whiskey earlier than most – but apparently it was important.

Anyway back to my friends – Dana and Bridget were off dancing but Nessa, Tri, Rhi and Cam were siting on some couches when I made my way over

Nessa was the first to pounce

"And just where have you been Miss Evans?"

She didn't look happy

"Talking to Sophie Baxter, she was rather happy to see me for some reason…"

I trailed off, trying to understand where this was leading

Nessa snorted

"Why weren't you at the match? Where you off with some boy, completely forgetting about your wonderful friends who happened to be playing against the bloody Hufflepuffs?"

Her words slurred a bit, so I'm guessing she'd had a couple of fire whiskeys by the time I got there

"Er Nessa, I was at the game, I saw every one of the seven goals you scored and Tri's six goals, nice faking around the keeper by the way"

She squinted at me for a second before nodding and turning back to her glass

"Where were you then? We didn't see you all morning or anywhere during the game" asked Cam

"Oh, well I slept in and then as I was coming down to breakfast I had to deal with those third years who were trying to do each other in again. By the time I got down to the pitch I only had a couple of minutes before kick off, then Nick invited me to sit with him so I did"

There was a bit of silence after this

"Nick as in Nicholas Fibonacci?" asked Cam

"Er… yes?"

Nessa and Tri both rounded on me

"YOU SAT WITH THE HUFFLEPUFFS?"

Oh dear…

"Yes, but I was going for Gryffindor! We were just sitting together it's not like I was barracking for Hufflepuff, we were even having arguments over who's team was better"

The pair of them were so annoyed at me they couldn't speak

"Oh and Nick said to say congratulations from him. Some of the Hufflepuffs really aren't that bad you know, Nick, Nadia, and Darren are all perfectly nice and very gracious losers"

They just got angrier the more I talked so I decided to shut up

Thankfully Rhi decided to intervene before they could kill me

"You sat with Nick Fibonacci? Hell, if he'd invited me to sit with him I would have been there in a shot"

Nessa and Tri just glared at her

"I'm guessing Ellen Hicks wasn't there then" Cam commented

Ahhh Cam, my saviour always ready to swoop in and save the day, though mind you he didn't have any problem with me sitting next to the Hufflepuffs in the first place… I knew there was a reason I liked him so much… but he _did_ start this off with the whole questioning of where I was so it's only fair he gets me out of it

"No, she was down the front. I'm surprised you didn't see her, Dana and Bridget were having a rather spirited argument with her across the pitch"

Cam and Rhi's face lit up with surprise

"Oh so that's who it was, should have know it to be some obsessive wacko like her"

We all started to laugh and pretty soon Nessa and Tri forgave me for my act of treason.

The rest of the night was spent recounting and arguing about the match, dancing to Sirius' queer music and playing ridiculous drinking games, which probably explains my lack of interest in my potions essay

Wait I should say my _extreme_ lack of interest in my potions essay seeing as I was never really interested in the first place

Though I did talk to Sirius at one stage last night and I do believe it was the 'one too many fire whiskey' stage as I can remember it well enough to know there was a lot of laughter and some actual serious conversation which is escaping me at the moment but I'm sure it'll come back to me… some time in the distant future

Right enough about my weekend lets get down to potions

Reading that I think I may reconsider myself as a lover of self inflicted pain, I did tell Aunt Lizzie she's off her rocker when she suggested that I bring most things upon myself but now that I'm willing to do potions homework I think she may have a point…

But it has to be done so let's get on with it, I was originally going to do poly juice potion but then I figured that most of the class would choose it. The problem with that is that you have to do a lot more work and research to get a good mark, so why not just do a mediocre job on some obscure little potion, there's nothing to compare it too, making you look like you know what you're talking about.

That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it, it's got me through five and a half years of potions so far why should it fail now?

Right off to find the most obscure, unheard of, little known potion this library possesses, wish me luck….

* * *

**Monday 30th January – Charms **

Well that was mortifying

I've just had breakfast and normally I don't write that much during first period charms but I feel this takes precedence over some silly little non verbal charm I've had down since the end of last year

My mother has just sent her response to my letter Remus sent last week

All I can say is that I am embarrassed beyond belief and that I think I should well and truly disown my brother

How does Will come in this you ask?

Well, being the little suck up he is and due to his infinite need to cement himself as the old bat's favourite (he and Tuna are in a constant battle for this title, Will usually wins though) he felt it necessary to show the silly woman how to use wizarding mail, ALL wizarding mail

Can you see where I'm going with this?

I think you can, a bloody mole could see where this was going

This morning I was contentedly eating my breakfast, all right not contentedly I was rather tired and grumpy seeing as I'd had a late night with that sodding potions essay and then Rhi got me up extra early, muttering about 'extra time' to get ready to look 'extra nice'

I sincerely hope she was referring to herself there, as I most certainly didn't do anything to look 'extra nice'. Wash my face, put on school uniform, put hair in pony tail, collect books – same as always

Though when I think about it she did give me a rather exasperated look

But back to breakfast

I was sitting there muttering into my tea, thankfully I didn't need to wrestle any seventh years for it this morning, reading the morning post when I caught sight of a silver owl coming my way

What in the world is Nemain doing here?

Nemain is Mother's owl and is named after the Irish goddess of battle, who can supposedly influence the outcome of conflict by inspiring the combatants with fear or courage.

And I have to say nothing could be closer to the truth

Especially when she's carrying a scarlet envelop

First thing that came to my mind was 'run'

But before I had even put down my cup of tea Nemain had landed in front of me with the letter, dropped it off, snitched a bit of bacon and was already flying back out the window

That's one smart bird

Wish I had the reflexes to act as quickly

Of course howlers don't like to be left unopened so I had to open it if I didn't want to set the table on fire and quite frankly I was going to be attracting quite enough attention to myself with just the howler and decided that igniting school property would only cause more trouble so I opened the dreaded envelop

My first thought: 'I am so sending Will one of these'

Power radiating from the envelope was so strong that my hair was blown back and I could literally feel the waves of sound crashing down on me

It was horrid

She used her 'I'm extremely angry and you are grounded for the whole duration of all your remaining school holidays and possibly the rest of your life' voice

Sort of like the cutting glass voice she used when she found out I hadn't informed her of Remus and I attending the same school

"LILLIANNA ELIZABETH EVANS! HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS YOUR MOTHER IN SUCH A MANNER! I ALMOST FAINTED WHEN I READ YOUR LAST LETTER, NEVER HAVE I BEEN SHOWN SO MUCH DISRESPECT BY ONE OF MY OWN CHILDREN, EVEN FROM YOU WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING Lillianna!"

Ah yes the dysfunctional middle daughter who is always causing trouble, yep that's definitely me

"…YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GO ONE STEP FURTHER THAN THE OTHERS, DON'T YOU? YOUR SISTER HAS NEVER GIVEN ME THIS MUCH TROUBLE. I AM TRYING TO SECURE A SUITABLE FUTURE FOR YOU AND YOU FIGHT ME ALL THE WAY!"

Oh wonderful she just had to include Perfect Petunia now didn't she?

"…WILLIAM AND HENRY HAVE NEVER BEHAVED IN SUCH A MANNER, JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU LITTLE MADAM? YOU WILL DO YOUR DUTY AS MY DAUGHTER AND REMUS _WILL_ ACCOMPANY YOU TO HOGSMEADE OR YOU SHALL NEVER SEE ANOTHER FOOTBALL MATCH AGAIN! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?.."

As crystal, she really knows where to hit me where it hurts now doesn't she?

"…DON'T YOU BRING YOUR FATHER INTO THIS, HE IS NOT INCLUDED IN THIS DISCUSSION. YOU WILL BE COURTED BY THE LUPIN BOY WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"

Of course the whole hall was staring at me rather strangely after the howler had finished. Every single face in the hall was turned in my direction, most of them didn't understand it but those that did gave me questioning looks with their eyebrows raised

I refused to be openly embarrassed by my lovely mother's words of endearment, even though I was horrified beyond belief that she said half the things she did. Instead I simply took a sip of my tea, brushed the remaining ashes of the howler onto the floor and went on to read the Daily Prophet, enjoying some toast along the way. Meanwhile a majority of the hall was still staring at me in shock

Eventually they got bored since I hadn't broken down into tears or shown any form of reaction what so ever – see being an ice queen with out emotion has it's perks

I was saving my mortification for a more private setting, like our dorm room

I don't even want to think about the amount of rumours that damn howler has started but I think it may have cemented the rumour regarding my promiscuity

Which is complete and utter poppycock considering I've never been in a relationship

Sweet Merlin this place is full of idiots

Dorm room 

Well today's been fun

I managed to maintain my composure through out the school day and even wrote a polite note back to my mother that was completely free of profanity of any kind, which is a miracle considering what I would dearly like to say to her

It went something like this:

_Mother,_

_As much as I appreciate your opinion of my character and encouragement towards the development of the relationship between Remus and myself, I will kindly ask you to keep them to yourself. As I have already stated, I will not be engaging in a romantic relationship of any kind with Remus lupin. This is the end of the discussion._

_Lillianna _

_P.S. About the football – I'd like to see you try _

Okay so I got vindictive towards the end with the postscript but come on, she was asking for it! I mean she entered Perfect Petunia into the discussion, the whole of Hogwarts is now aware of the fact that I am the dysfunctional member of my family. A fact I would have preferred to keep private, I get enough weird looks around here as it is.

As I was saying I managed to maintain my composure through out the school day and even lasted through out dinner. After dinner… well that's a different matter

Bridget had a date and was slinking off to find a nice broom closet somewhere, I warned her about the third floor broom closet, and I believe Dana was going to go charm some clever Ravenclaw into doing her history of magic essay. The rest of my friends were just going to retire to the common room to do their homework

This suited me perfectly, it meant I could vent my frustrations in our empty dorm room and believe me I did just that. As soon as I shut the door I threw my bag down, ditched each of my shoes at the opposing wall and screamed my lungs out. I then proceeded to trash the dormitory, all the while screaming profanities at my mother and hoping that she could, through some mystical act divine intervention, hear me

Alas my mother did no hear my thoughts on the matter at hand, the common room, however, heard a good deal of the screaming, thumping and smashing. So much in fact that Amy came up to investigate

"What the bleeding hell is going on up here?" Amy demanded as she came bursting in through the door

I was in the middle of punching the stuffing out of my pillow when Amy came in, imaging it to be either my mother or Will, in all honesty I couldn't quite make up my mind which one I wanted to hurt more…

I looked up at her with adrenaline and rage still coursing through me, Amy took a step back, must have been the deranged, homicidal look that had taken over my face

"Oh, it's you Lily" She gave me a pitying look "Well try to keep it down, we can here you all the way down in the common room"

She started to leave and then stopped

"By the way Remus is looking for you, he's down in the common room"

And with that she left me to my thoughts

I quickly composed myself and said a quick spell to return the room to its original state, I then made to follow Amy down to the common room

As I was about to round the corner to the common room Amy's voice floated up to me

"… I certainly wouldn't like to upset her, she looked about ready to kill when I walked in. If that's what she can do with just her physical strength, imagine what she could do with a wand!"

Then a different voice answered her

"She certainly has a temper"

Hey that's James!

They must be doing Heads stuff

I got a pang of guilt there for disturbing the rest of the tower

"A temper? Lily can make a Hungarian Horntail look positively friendly, I'd hate to be on the wrong end of her wand"

Sirius! Well he certainly thinks highly of me…

"Leave off, her mum's an over bearing cow, I thought you of all people would appreciate that Sirius"

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Cam? Well I'm restating it, that boy is truly a wonder

"Yeah, what would you feel like if your mum continually compared you to your perfect elder siblings and then tried to force you to marry someone? You'd be slightly put out as well"

Nessa's such a doll

There was a pause in the conversation and I took that as my que to enter

None of them noticed me enter, Amy and James were bent over their work, Sirius and Cam were engrossed in a game of chess while Nessa and Tri were engrossed with one another. Rhi and Peter were the only ones actually doing homework.

I spotted Remus reading by the window and silently made my way over. I sunk into the chair opposite him and waited for him to notice, which didn't take very long. I believe he just finished the sentence he was on before he put down his book and smile softly at me.

"Feel better? You certainly made a bit of noise"

I blushed feeling that pang of guilt again

"Yes actually, I do"

I looked out the window admiring the last of the winter snow

"Remus what did I do to deserve this? No matter what I do I can never live up to her standards and now she wants to push me into some society approved match"

I continued to stare out the window, more watching the reflections in the glass this time

"No offence though, you're a great guy, it's just that I don't think I could ever feel that way about you"

No, I definitely couldn't think of Remus in any other way other than platonic and I certainly wasn't going to back down from what I believed in just to make my mother happy

"Don't worry Lily I know what you mean, I can only think of you as a little sister"

We sat in silence for a while, the mere company of someone who understands even slightly how I'm feeling comforted me

"What are we going to do? She isn't going to stop here you know, that howler was just the beginning"

Remus sighed and took my hand

"Don't worry, we'll deal with it later. But you dealt with that howler very well today, your mother would have been astounded by the new level of 'disrespected'"

I laughed a little bit

Yeah the old bat would not be happy about the fact that I completely ignored her message

"I think it would be best if we both went to bed and dealt with this in the morning"

I nodded my agreement and said goodnight before returning to our dorm

Well let's just hope that what ever the old bat has in store for us will be a while coming

And that reminds me I have to address the problem of my appalling older brother who is yet to learn the concept of sibling loyalty

* * *

**Wednesday 1st February – Library **

I really need to have a talk to this Melissa Greenly girl

Charlie's still in his mode of depression, wallowing in self pity that Miss Greenly won't go near him

Yesterday I had to put up with his moping during his tutoring session, which I have to say are becoming far less necessary, I do believe my incessant nagging about wand movement is finally paying off

But I suppose I should count myself lucky as yesterday Mikey decided to join us, the fourth years have a particularly difficult essay to write on summoning and banishing charms. Mikey is actually pretty good at charms, he was there half for help and half as Charlie's moral support

Once Charlie went off to find some books Mikey told me how Charlie's just been too embarrassed to talk to Melissa because of the whole infatuation with his charms tutor rumour, while she's far to nervous to talk to him as she thinks that he doesn't actually like her but is infatuated with me due to said rumour and doesn't want make a fool of herself…

Fourth years really are queer little creatures

Mikey has tried to talk sense into them both, but they just won't listen

Speaking of listening I er… accidentally over heard something I shouldn't

And I truly mean it when it was accidental, I had no intention of listening, their voices just happened to be rather loud which is so not my fault

Okay so I could have blocked my ears but….

I didn't

Okay so I listened to what was said but I didn't intentionally eavesdropped, I just sort of stumbled across the conversation

Well I went to find a book for my fourth year charges, well more left Mikey to try and talk a little sense into Charlie. However as I was wandering aimlessly through the Charms section I heard that dreaded voice

NO, it wasn't Madam Pince come to hunt me down for defacing one of her precious books, it was worse, far worse…

I heard Sophie Baxter chattering away with one of her friends at the end of the aisle

My heart started beating a thousand times a minute and my palms were instantly slick with sweat

Ever since the beginning of the term she's been trying to talk to me, I have a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with last term and the whole thing with James, something that is being suppressed into the back of my mind until a suitable time arises in which I can assess the situation properly….

Personally I'm hoping never

Anyway so I was absolutely terrified of Sophie, I did the best I could to blend into the books buy concealing my face behind a rather large copy of "Charms for Nacies" – don't ask and leaning as far back into the bookshelf as the books behind me would allow

I would have cast a concealment charm on myself but alas I left my wand on the table

Bollocks all round

So there I am trying very hard to be inconspicuous when suddenly I hear a whispered conversation going on behind me

"Are you sure it's okay to talk in here, I mean wasn't Lily supposed to be in here today?"

My ears instantly pricked when I heard my name

Now just who was talking about me? And more importantly what were they doing having secret meetings?

"Yeah, but she's presently trying to coax Charlie out of his pit of despair with the help of Michael Tuttle, so she's quite preoccupied"

Pft! Shows just how little these people know

"So about Hogsmeade…" Oooh is this a secret lovers rondeau? "has everything been arranged? We're all meeting in the Three Broomsticks at 5 o'clock?"

No rondeau then

"Yeah I told every one, I just have to convince our subject into letting me play – "

"Oh Merlin's beard! Is that you Lily?"

Oh chocolate, Sophie found me

I spent the next 10 minutes fending her off, she's quite persistent that she speaks to me… sober. I managed to get away after telling her that I really needed to get back to tutoring and promising to find her later… hmmm, yes, I fully intend to keep that appointment

The really annoying part was I didn't get to here the rest of the conversation but I'm almost positive, after much analysis, that it was in fact Remus and Rhi whispering behind the bookcase

I wonder what those two are up to?

Actually I'm not sure I want to know

And I didn't get a chance to interrogate them at dinner as Nadia had invited me to sit with her. I was in library after class looking up a book for that blasted transfiguration, I swear I shall never truly get the hang of that subject, I have to stay two weeks ahead of schedule just so I have time to practice the spells correctly so I don't make a fool of myself in class, I really should do this for potions but I can't be bothered.

So I was just trying to find a book on advanced self transfiguration when I bumped into Nadia – literally. I was walking backwards, yet again, along the bookshelf searching for one book in particular when I collided with Nadia, who had been standing there minding he own business.

Of course we got into conversation and it seems that she finds transfiguration just as horrid as I do, she also assured me that transfiguration in 7th year just gets more intricate and fiddly – lovely, just what I needed to hear in my hour of need

But I did indeed end up having dinner with the Hufflepuffs and they're all quite nice, well no, Curly Sue isn't that nice, she was glaring at me again, but the rest of them were very welcoming – considering Gryffindor just flattened them on the weekend they were extremely welcoming.

But I was given a few pointed glares from the Gryffindor table, mainly the twins as they are still contriving ways in which they can sink their claws into Nick. I got quite the talking to for sitting within Nick's vicinity and not inviting Dana and Bridget, though Bridget and Star Boy seem to have become involved in this continuously confusing on-off relationship, which it appears no one truly understands, not even them.

So mainly it's Dana pursuing Nick, Bridget just drools

You know the library is becoming my second home, I spend almost every night in here. Mainly because it has all the resources I need to complete my homework but also because it's quiet, something the Gryffindor common room is never described as, imagine trying to get the 4th years to shut up and quit their yelling – impossible! Plus all the stressed out fifth and seventh years give the place a tense feeling, not exactly a comfortable working environment

At the moment I am trying to do this insufferable star chart and accompanying essay on the relevance of Jupiter's many moons, well in truth the chart isn't hard at all it's more the stupid essay, why oh why did I have to choose astronomy as one of my NEWT subjects? Because I'm an idiot that's why! But mind you I'm doing seven NEWT subjects so I really must have something loose

Hey there's James, I wonder what he's doing in here, usually he's in the common room or proclaimed AWOL by Amy and his friends, more Amy than the rest f the Marauders

You know I haven't talked to him in a while, we have rounds every week but most of the time we just prattle and make bets about who we'll find in which broom closet or else we just leave each other to our thoughts.

He's quite all right really

James I mean, once you over look some of his more _pricky_ attributes he's quite nice and I've never denied the fact that he's one of the finer male specimens, he's just so damn fine

Oh god listen to me I sound like some, I don't know love sick fool, this is happening rather a lot and I don't like it, I think I shall have to put a stop to this mooning over one James Potter, it's not healthy

Oh crapolla he's coming over – what do I do?

For a start I think I should maybe put this diary away and look busy with my star chart, completely innocent and like I was just contemplating his better points

Me? Contemplate James Potter's better points?

Never, not in a million years

My chocolate I can't even lie to myself! That has to make me one of the worst liars in all the world

"Hey Lily"

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Better get that star chart out…

* * *

Hi Everyone!

Surprise! It's me, Jen, back from the dead, well actually the real world but never mind that. Since we last met I have completed my tertiary entrance exams, graduated from high school, gone on holiday with the rest of my peer group and got myself a job! When you look at it like that it almost seems as though I have accomplished something…

Well, I'm extremely sorry I've taken so long to update – I've been lazy I admit. I'm also extremely sorry this chapter isn't proof read – my beta has gone AWOL, by the way, Hi Amy, if you read this!

Anyway yes, the next chapter should be up shortly but till then I hope your enjoying the holiday season!

Please remember to….

R

E

V

I

E

W


	38. The Thing' and The thing

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

* * *

**

**Thursday 2nd February – Ancient Ruins **

Ugh! Don't you just hate plants?

Well I for one don't like them – well more like Williams''special' trees

Evil creatures

I just brushed past it while on my way to collect more manure and WHAM! It lashes out and tries to strangle me, pulling me forcefully towards its dense foliage – as if I'm about to let it get me any where near those creepy looking shadows

I did what any sensible person does when attacked by a maniac tree– screamed my head off till someone rescued me

I would have rescued myself had I had my wand but as I said I was innocently collecting fertiliser, I didn't realise there was deadly trees lurking in the shadows just waiting to harm innocent girls, had I known I would of course been appropriately armed and wary

But as it is I had to be escorted to the hospital wing, Cam shaking his head, interrogating me the whole way as to why I went near the blasted tree and lecturing me about how I should have know better seeing as the tree was in Greenhouse 3 and therefore MUST be dangerous

Well, I'm sooo sorry that I'm not as magically up there when it comes to plants as you, Cameron Davies, but we must keep in mind I grew up in the muggle world and trees in the muggle world DO NOT ATTACK INNOCENT BYSTANDERS!

Idiots

Rosie was having a right giggle at my freshly bruised and winded state. I'm surprised I could scream at all the way that blasted plant was trying to squeeze the life out of me. Yes, well Rosie seemed to enjoy it, see I told you I provide daily entertainment for my classmates, no that I want to provide entertainment for that particular classmate…

When I was in the infirmary, I met Sirius, apparently he pushed Remus a little too far with his teasing suggestions – and he paid dearly for it, his face looked as though it was suffering a bad case of tinea. To put it mildly Sirius was rather distressed about his face resembling foot fungus

Read that as: Sirius was yelling for Wilks to hurry up with a potion of some kind to make him bacteria free – Remus had steadfastly refused to turn him back

Wilks was threatening to cast a silencing charm on him and leave him for the rest of the day when we came in

She compromised and left him to wallow in misery while attending to me, all the while giving me friendly advice on how to avoid these situations ("Really Miss Evans, I don't know how you manage these things! Touching a dangerous plant! What were you thinking? I don't know what I'm going to do with you. I don't know who I see in here more often – you or Mr Black, yes, I'm coming Black, stop whining")

Of course I just did what I normally do and look up at her in a would be attentive manner, my eyes sliding out of focus and an expression that clearly states 'the lights are on but nobody's home' takes over my face

Wilks sent Cam back to class and refused to let me go until break, I swear that woman purposely keeps me from my classes. Most NORMAL school nurses would cure you and send you BACK to class as quickly as possible. But _no_, _Wilks_ has to _different_, purposely prolonging my stays in her domain. I confronted her about this last year and she said she did it for my own benefit as I was far too stressed

Well that may have been the case last year but this year I'm as mellow as they come, okay so maybe not but compared to last year it's not that big a stretch – last year was my OWL year, I was taking 11 subjects! I was a prefect! I had to deal with new bodily developments! (I was a rather late bloomer, much to my relief – I thought I was going to remain an androgenous blob forever, but that fear was soon replaced with the 'Where the hell did that come from' feeling, not pretty I can tell you) Of course I was stressed!

This year though I am only doing seven subjects and I'm taking it as a break year before I really freak out about my NEWTS which I must say I'm not looking forward too, so really Wilks has no excuse to keep me here

Silly woman

So there I was stuck in the infirmary with Star Boy still whining away about his festering face. Wilks disappeared somewhere saying she had to find a potion, this seemed slightly suspicious as I was staring at a cabinet full of potions. Personally I think she just wanted to make Sirius suffer…

Yes, Wilks was my favourite person for the full two seconds it took me to realise that I was alone with said whining Sirius and he decided to strike up conversation

Then I decided that she was a self serving wench who delighted in my torture

"Wilks! Wilks get back here and put me right! My face! My gorgeously handsome face!"

He's so very deep and profound… considerate of other people too

I didn't even get a "So, Lily, how you feeling?" he just kept whining about his face

Finally it became clear to him that Wilks wasn't coming back for a while and Sirius became sullen

That was when I decided to be compassionate – I tell you this hospital wing does queer things to my head. First I comforted Rosie, the most evil cow known to man, and now I'm consoling the king of chauvinism

Yep, there's definitely a wire shorted out in that screwed up place called my mind

"It's not that bad Sirius, I mean you'll be back to your… normal self soon enough"

He glared at me for a moment

"The way things are going I could be like this for _days_!"

Well that was over dramatic…

"And that matter's how?"

I got an incredulous look for that question

Okay so yes I would have been freaking out as well but that's beside the point…

The point is that I get to take the moral high ground in this situation – very unusual for me

"What? It's not like it effects your health, it's a purely superficial aliment"

Sirius continued to just stare

"What do you mean it doesn't effect my health? It affects my health in a number ways!"

"Uh huh and just how does it affect your health?"

"It affects my sexual health for a start, it'll ruin my libido" He declared dramatically

Can you say 'OVER SHARE'!

"Speaking of sexual health, James' suffering rather badly"

Ugh! I gagged so bad I almost choked on my own saliva

What is with this boy? I mean really you don't just go spurting out this sort of thing to random strangers

Well I may not be a random stranger but I don't know Sirius or James nearly well enough to be provided with this information – actually when I think about it, no matter how well I ever know either of them I should never be provided with this information

It's just… weird

What can I say? I grew up in a household where the 'sex' word has never been discussed openly or at all for that matter…

It was my turn to stare incredulously at Sirius

"What!" he asked with an air of innocence "I just thought maybe you should be aware of that"

I opened and closed my mouth multiple times – doing an excellent impression of a gold fish but completely unable to say anything

I'm not sure what got me more, what Sirius actually told me or the fact that he felt comfortable telling me this… I'm thinking it was the whole comfort level. Obviously I've missed something rather important in the development of our relationship, which has seemingly been taken to a whole new level

The only question is WHEN did this development occur?

"Well I thought after our little talk during the quidditch celebrations everything should be out in the open"

Oh

Well that explains why I don't remember

Christ, I must've been out of it

Wait, _he actually remembers that?_

When I voiced this thought he gave me an astonished look

"You don't?"

To be truthful, in a word… no

"Care to refresh my memory?" I asked hopefully

"Sweet Merlin, you're a cheap drunk"

Hey, I am a lot of things but not cheap, just because not all of us have iron clad stomaches that can withhold indefinite amounts of alcohol

Plus how on earth would he know how much I've had to drink?

Unless of course he dragged me into one of his deranged drinking games

… however it's entirely plausible _I _dragged _him_ into said deranged drinking games

I was just about to tell him what I thought of his comment when Wilks came back. She gave Sirius his potion and he was out the door once his face returned to it's usual 'flawless' self. He was off with a swift cheerio before Wilks could so much as say 'boo'.

I really have to work on my reflexes, had I been as fast as Sirius she would never have had time to order me to stay till break and then I wouldn't have been exposed to the ramblings of Star Boy

Ugh! Why, oh why did I have to enter into conversation with Sirius of all people?

And what he said about James…

Well I have no idea what our conversation was about on the weekend but I am hoping that sexual health was NOT a subject that was breached

Oh bollocks

I have rounds with James tonight

I think I'm going to turn into a giant tomato for a majority of the night

Speaking of James yesterday was actually pretty good

James was writing some essay on Alfred for Care of Magical Creatures, Remus and Peter had already done their bit, Sirius was a lost cause – he was too preoccupied flirting with Michelle Lambert for the time being, which is probably why he got so upset about the face fungus, I still haven't managed to wok out what Bridget and he have going…

James said that he thought I might like to keep him company seeing as I too was writing an essay AND I still owe him multiple favours – I had almost forgotten about those

It was actually quite fun and I got all my work done, which was entirely surprising for me seeing as I usually procrastinate until the night before and then stay up to the wee hours of the morning – why do it now when I can do it later?

James was heaps of fun to hang out with, it was almost like the Christmas ball never happened except for that damned tingly feeling that makes you feel all warm and gooey and… well all that mushy, romantic crap I read about

I really will have to find some new reading material, it's starting to have a drastic impact on my reality

* * *

**Saturday 4th February – The Three Broomsticks **

My Mother, if I can call her that, is the most vile, most heinous, most evil…

Oooooh! The things I would like to say about her!

But I will not waste my breath or my ink on such a creature, I shall never talk to that… thing so long so long as I live and even in the after life and when I'm reincarnated as a cockroach I shall never speak to her again… not that cockroaches can talk, I wonder if their brains even have the capacity to recognise and differentiate individuals, wait do their brains even have the capacity to breach such subjects as reincarnation and past lives?

Oh dear this is making my head hurt, I think well return to the subject of my Saturday, far less tiring, more painful but not nearly as much effort required…

You will never believe what that THING did! Never in a million years would I have believed it if anyone had told me or forewarned, I would have told them they were off their rocker

Actually I believe Remus did warn me at some stage but I thought not even MY mother would sink that low – how very wrong I was

I suppose I should explain what the hell is going on

You know I really should have expected something like this seeing as I never did get an answer back from my last note I sent _mother dearest_.

And when I get a hold of Will he's so dead, they'll have to use DNA samples to identify him, family identification and dental records will be of no use when I'm through with him – the festering little maggot never even warned me!

When I woke up this morning I was in a wonderfully elated mode, it's a Hogsmeade weekend and I would be spending the day with Rhi, Cam and Dana, the others had romantic interests to attend to, but we were going to met later. I swear it has something to do with the Three Broomsticks at seven as Remus and Rhi discussed not that I said anything I was just waiting to see how things panned out

This morning Rhi was in one of her giggly, bubbly, let's-annoy-Lily-to-death moods. She insisted upon picking out an outfit for me seeing as I refused to get up at whatever unmentionable hour she had deemed acceptable – weekends are made for sleeping and homework, I think my dorm mates need to be reminded of this

Once I did get up had a shower, I wore whatever it was Rhi picked out for me because a) there was no green in sight and b) I honestly couldn't be bothered mucking around looking for something to wear

Rhi then tried to play Barbie dolls with me and do my hair and make up. I told her quite politely, well for a morning person who hasn't yet had her tea anyway, to go away and that she would be doing no such thing

It went much along the lines of : "Sod off Rhi! Before I hex you into next week, which we both know is a definite possibility!"

Little did I know darling Rhiannon had been looking up her beauty spells, two flicks of her wrist and I had on soft make up and my hair was half pulled back and tamed significantly. I could have smacked her one, I fact I gave it quite the shot. I chased her all round the dorm and then down to the common room. Verbally abusing her and her personal attributes the whole way

In the common room, Rhi managed to find refuge behind the Marauders, who had come down looking annoyingly bright and perky for this early in the morning.

"Rhiannon Grey you undo whatever silly little charms you put on me before I use another silly little spell to hang you up by your ears!"

"My, my, we do have a temper on us this morning, and when you look so radiant too"

Bloody Sirius

"Not now Sirius, I have bigger issues to deal with"

"Would that 'bigger issue' be the darling little creature currently using me as a human shield?" questioned Remus

I glared at Rhi who was peaking over Remus and James' shoulders

"Yes that would be my bigger issue, now if you would oh so politely move aside so I can appropriately strangle 'the darling little creature' it would be immensely appreciated"

The whole lot of them were looking rather amused by this time

"Sorry Lily Pilly but we can't allow such acts of violence to be carried out so undeservingly right in front of us, especially not on helpless damsels" answered Peter

And with that the Marauders, as one escorted Rhi to the portrait hole and ultimately safety

I shot them some evil looks before returning upstairs to retrieve my cloak and money for Hogsmeade, Rhi already had hers and she wouldn't be returning to our dormitory till later tonight. That meant there was no point waiting for her to get revenge, I can probably manage that in Hogsmeade anyway

When I came back down the stairs James was waiting for me

I gave him a questioning look and he merely replied with a charming smile and some guff about Rhi not being the only damsel in need of an escort

I decided to humour him and let him link my arm with his own

Everything was going swimmingly until we got to the entrance hall

The image that met James and I is forever burned into my memory

It wasn't until we were about a third of the way down the stairs that I realised something was up. Standing in the middle of the entrance hall was a an exasperated looking Albus Dumbledore, a very frustrated Remus Lupin, a nervous and extremely ruffled Vivian Lupin and one highly annoyed Elizabeth Marie Evans

I, of course, stopped dead when I saw them

James didn't catch on straight away but soon understood when he got a look at the small party of people waiting at the foot of the stairs. It appeared my mother was having a rather heated discussion with Dumbledore… and I hate to think what it was about

I finally found my voice when I realised what she was about to say

"Mother!"

Well that certainly caught her attention, I mean it's not every day you hear 'mother' in a boarding school as a form of addressing someone

Unfortunately I was in a state of shock and had not yet let go of James' arm, I also had yet to get Rhi to reverse her lovely little spells so you can imagine what conclusion my mother's scandalous mind immediately jumped to…

"LILLIANNA! So _this_ is why you refuse to go be courted by Remus, is it?"

She indicated to James with a head tilt when she said 'this'

I quickly made my way down the rest of the stairs, James following closely behind me

"What are you doing here?" I asked completely ignoring her question and insinuation

"I am here to force you to fulfil your duty as my daughter, which you are otherwise refusing to carry out of your own free will"

I really shouldn't have asked, but you know me I really can't stop myself when it comes to _her_, which probably explains why I reacted the way I did next

"I am NOT going to be courted by Remus and I am NOT going to marry him, why can't you get that through your seemingly impossibly thick skull?"

Well that of course went down an absolute treat

The result was an all out, now famous, Evans vs Evans shouting match the likes of which hasn't been seen since around the Easter of my fourth year

Our dulcet tones where heard through out the castle, many have since commented on my impressive lung capacity and ability to raise my voice to such heights – how nice of them to point that out

My mother of course made her case and barbs based on entirely false information and that of her own imagination.

Apparently James is a very good match being head boy and all but it depends entirely on his family as to whether or not he's up to standard. I apparently know how to pick them – I was informed that Edward Drakefield was really an arse and that I was perfectly right to refuse him, turns out he and Morgan Le Fay there had been getting it off with one another for quite a few months…

I couldn't tell if my face was red from anger or shame

Half of Hogwarts came out into the hall to see what all the commotion was about of course the majority had no idea what was going on but ever since I have been told with increasing frequency how alike my mother and I are

How lovely, just what I want to be compared to…a heartless shrew

It got to the point where we were no longer just arguing over my dating Remus, other things were getting dragged up such as my avoidance of makeup and my choice of clothing – both of which she commented had improved with James' company, I believe the nanny incident was even dragged up again

I ended up shouting all kinds of obscenities at her before storming out of the hall to Hogsmeade, I was only dimly aware of the fact that Dumbledore was talking to her and trying to restore calm. I was still seeing red and I didn't even notice that someone followed me out of the hall…

I was in a god awful temper when I left the hall and stormed all the way down to Hogsmeade and plopped myself down in the Three Broomsticks, readying myself for a good sulk. So you can imagine my surprise when someone slipped into the seat next to me, I mean most students would be having breakfast before they came to the village and anyone who sat next to me after that little display up at the castle is clearly deranged

Yep, I was right, the person who sat next to me was deranged

James Potter

The boy is infinitely screwed up in the head

I stared at him like complete nutter he is

He however just looked back evenly at me a sympathetic smile on his face

He mumbled something about letting me think and then went to get some drinks

So of course I promptly whipped out my handy dandy notebook that is this diary and proceeded to let out all my frustrations

Which was surprisingly therapeutic, Aunt Lizzie was actually right about this whole 'write down and _release_ your feelings' thing

But wait a second James has been gone an awfully long time to just be getting drinks…

Hmmm

He must be up to something

The pub is relatively quiet at this time in the morning, I can make out James' messy head at the bar but as to what he's doing…

Oh look here he is now

Sweet Merlin

My opinion of that boy has just increased ten fold

James is carrying a tray with a rather large plate of chocolate chip cookies and what I suspect is a pot of my favourite tea

I am now suspicious of his mortal status because this is an act worthy of an upgrade to guardian angel

Oh, the cookies are fresh, I can smell them

Heaven

Right that's it, James Potter is officially my favourite person… for the moment

Now, about those cookies….

**Girls Dorm**

For a day that started out so exceedingly awful I had a wonderful time

James was all supportive and light hearted and practically forced me into having fun

Which I did

It did nothing to squash the mushy romantic feelings that have been multiplying in the pit of my stomach, if anything it encouraged them… stupid feelings

But anyway those cookies James got from Madam Rosemerta tasted as good s they smelt which was pretty good considering I was drooling from the mere smell of them. The tea was, just as I suspected, my favourite and it was never so calming or more enjoyable. I think Madam Rosemerta may have slipped me something to help with the calming

The removal of those stupid beauty spells helped as well, James apparently knew the counter curse the entire time but only just decided to reveal this knowledge after the encounter with 'The Thing' as I've taken to referring to her

And I must say my hair going back to it's usual disastrous state was incredibly reassuring, see not everything changes – my hair is still stubbornly unmanageable. It was also a relief to get rid of the crap on my face, the mascara makes my eyes itchy

James decided to lighten things up a bit after my feast of cookies and tea and took me to Zonko's. That was a lot of fun seeing as James knows the guy behind the counter and we got to test a few of the products on unsuspecting customers. I also bought a few things to send to Harry seeing as he wants to come here so bad, okay so a bought him A LOT of things with the intention of him using them at home and annoying 'The Thing' all the more but… well he's sure to enjoy himself and if I happen to derive a little enjoyment from the knowledge that he's reeking havoc all the better

It's a very passive aggressive way of doing things which is bound to rack me up some bad karma points but it'll be worth it, as I've said before my ego is a proud little creature and doesn't deal well with public humiliation

But I did have a lot of fun today with James, we had fun running around like idiots in the rain and jumping in all the puddles. I got him a good one to, it splashed him all the way up his side to his elbow, he ended up completely drenched from the waist down. I on the other hand managed to stay a little bit drier, admittedly I wasn't _that_ much drier but I was still drier – I was merely spattered with rain rather seeing as James didn't manage to inflict a wave of water on from one of the surrounding puddles

James mentioned how he always end up completely filthy after spending time with me, I think he mentioned both the mud incident and the food fight incident. What can I say, we both have highly competitive natures, plus it's so much fun.

So yes my Hogsmeade visit was surprisingly eventful

The only thing is I didn't see my friends all day

Well that was to be expected for half of them but I thought I would at least glimpse Cam, Rhi or Dana, well maybe not so much Dana seeing as she was probably stalking Nick or something similar, but still the complete absence of my friends worries me, more for my own well being than anything else – they get up to mischief when I leave then alone

At the moment Nessa's in the shower, that was the first thing she did when she came up the stairs earlier – commandeered the bathroom, as for the rest of them well I have no idea what they're up to…

Oh wait here they are, Rhi, Dana and Bridget have just made their entrance. Dana is now demanding Nessa give up the bathroom and Bridge is gushing to Rhi all about her day with Star boy, wait I think she was out with Star Boy today

I'll just ask…

Nope, today it was Roger Cooper from Hufflepuff, apparently he's quite the catch and quite the gentleman

Does Sirius know about this?

Yes, and he didn't seem too phased seeing as he was escorting some 5th year Gryffindor but he was a bit more 'aggressive' than normal when he and Bridget met in the Three Broomsticks that afternoon

I don't even want to know what Bridget meant by the aggressive comment

Oh dear I shouldn't have asked about her day, now she's inquiring about mine, well making assumptions is a more accurate description of the teasing that's taking place

"So Lily did you have a good time with _James_ today?"

I don't like the way Bridget said James, it was kind of unnerving

"Er… fun?"

She just smirked at me!

"I'm sure it was, you two always seem to have _fun_ when you're together"

Now I REALLY don't like the way she said that

"Yeah Cam and I saw you and James out in the rain, it's good to see you finally found someone who enjoys the rain as much as you do"

Oh great now Rhi's joined in, thank the chocolate lords Dana loves her showers

"Yeah, even Nick commented on how well you two are suited when I was talking to him, I believe you were jumping in puddles by that stage and James was trying to kill you for soaking him"

I spoke too soon, the three of them have now decided to join ranks and pester me about my day

"You know Remus and I were conspiring to set you up for an evening on your own but then your mum showed up and well he went after you and you spent the day together, so really things worked out better than expected"

SEE! I KNEW IT! I _KNEW_ SHE WAS UP TO SOMETHING!

This would be why I can never leave them by themselves, my friends are far too devious for their, or should I say MY, own good

I glared at Rhi

"I knew you were up to something, those bloody beauty spells were over kill"

Rhi just beams at me

"Well at least you're catching on, I see you're no longer plagued by them, did you finally work the counter curse out?"

I really didn't want to admit that James was the one to undo them for me

I mumbled no

"What was that Lily? We couldn't quite hear you"

They know perfectly well I don't know the counter curse

"Fine! I said NO, I do NOT know the counter curse! James kindly got rid of your stupid charms for me"

They all just smile gleefully at me

"I hate you"

That was met with laughter

"We love you too Banana!" Bridget yells as I stalk out of our dorm

Stupid friends

* * *

**Monday 6th February – Herbology **

I think I may end up killing my friends

They haven't let up about the James thing

For some Merlin only knows reason they seem to think that if they keep dropping hints about how wonderful James is and how happy we make each other that will some how encourage me to fall head over heels for him, hate to break it to you lovelies but I don't need any help in that department

I'm managing to do that just fine on my own – why does James have to be so damn wonderful? WHY?

But you would think that after five and half years of friendship they would have figured out by now my natural resistance to authority. One of my major character flaws is my abhorrence of being told what to do, another is my stubbornness, both seem to have gone completely over the heads of beloved friends.

If they were to just leave me a lone I could work things out for myself but no, not them they have to shove it in my face as if that will make it all the more clearer

Idiots

If you ORDER me to pick up a bunch of books that have fallen over, I will probably tell you to shove them up a not so nice orifice

But if you were to ASK me to pick up the books or better yet just NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL, I would most likely automatically pick up the books, dust them off and arrange them in alphabetical order as is my nature

So as you can see they were coming at this James thing from the completely wrong direction, by being so pushy about it they just trigger my natural reaction that comes about when ever any one tells me what to do

I have this overwhelming urge to tell the stupid sod to 'bugger off and annoy some other unfortunate soul'

Though I am thankful that none of my friends have mentioned The Thing, well not to me anyway. They have decided to completely bypass the whole affair, they all saw it and witnessed the screaming match (I saw their slightly shocked faces in the front row of the crowd – though I think it was due to my ability to shout as loudly as I did rather than who I it was aimed at) so they know what happened but appear to have come to an agreement not to bring it up in my presence

The Marauders have also ignored the situation, mind you they've witnessed these screaming matches before so they weren't shocked in the least, they're just getting on with things as normal. I plan to catch up with Remus today and see what happened after I left

And I have to thank James as well

Oh great caring for those stupid trees today

William's just gave me a significant look while explaining how delicate they are and how we must be gentle while handling them

Oh yes I'll be sure to be gentle with it, I'll carefully cut it's limbs off with a chain saw before tenderly gouging it's heart out with the hedge pruners

Oh yes I will be ever so gentle with those _adorably sweet_ trees

Hmmm reading over the last couple of lines I'd say I have a few anger management issues, the tree hugging hippies that hold protests down at the local shire at home would be horrified to read my intentions for that tree, even if it does attack innocent bystanders

They are, after all, 'the original landowners and caretakers of the earth'

I'm all for the environment and all but these people are over the top, even by my standards. And I really shouldn't cal them 'tree hugging hippies', even though they call themselves that, they're environmentalist that would like to think of themselves as hippies.

I met one once and he was the biggest walking contradiction I've ever met and considering I myself am a bundle of inconsistencies you know the guy was truly screwed up in the head when it came to ideals and rules to live by

I'm not saying all environmentalists are… just these ones

Oooh look, it's raining! I love spring, all the snow melts and everything gets really damp and lush…

Uh oh

Williams is less than pleased with me it seems my staring out the window at the rain was brought to her attention by the fact that the tree she placed in front of me was moaning and looking forlorn like a kicked puppy

Drama queen

Wait one cotton pick'en minute…

She gave me THAT tree?

If I'm not mistaken, and I'm pretty sure I'm not, the tree in front of me would be that the one that damn near killed me!

Williams has realised I just noticed the identity of the tree

Sweet Merlin that sounds so wrong, how does a tree have an identity?

Oh god, now she's waffling on about how we have to 'reconcile our differences'

It's a tree! A blasted tree! I don't think it's even capable of intelligent thought beyond squeezing things to death let alone understanding as complicated an issue as reconciliation, most fully functioning PEOPLE don't understand the notion, why would a TREE?

Dear Lord… I'm actually taking this seriously

I think I need to go see Madam Wilks

Oh dear I think it's getting worse I can actually make out figures running around in the rain, I'm hallucinating

I wonder if I'm coming down with something?

Oh wait it's okay it's just the Marauders, I'm not hallucinating after all, that really had me worried for a moment

Williams has just seen James, Sirius and Peter out in the rain, she's gone off to shout at them, but not before telling me that that blasted tree had better look a whole lot happier when she got back

As if I'm going tend to the needs of suck up drama queen tree

Oh Christ I really am losing it, I'm now resenting a tree…

I've gone over the edge

Hey there's Remus, why isn't he outside with the rest of his motley gang?

Wait the Marauder's don't usually get themselves into trouble unless they have some other purpose, I wonder what they're up too…

I seem to be the only one who's noticed Remus, the rest of the class is too busy pushing their faces up against the glass to get a better look at the show the rest of them are putting on, I believe they've started a mud fight

And Sirius has just decided that Professor Williams wants to join in, I mean why else would she be out in the rain with them?

He is so going down

Now what, oh what, is the good Remus Lupin up to?

I'll go ask, I've got nothing better to do any way, the stupid tree is trying to take swipes at me, if I didn't know better I would say it was trying to be intimidating…

Remus nearly jumped out of his skin when I asked him what exactly was he planning to do with that plant's petals

He looked rather relieved when he realised it was just me

I must seem like such a push over to the Marauders, when I think about it I actually assist their trouble making most of the time… I'll have to look into that

Remus just gave me one of those mysterious Marauder smiles and disappeared back out the door

Hogwarts should be afraid, very afraid

"EVANS!"

Looks like Williams is back

"Yes, Professor?"

Sirius really did a number on her. She's covered from head to foot in mud, her rosy cheeks are ruddy with what I'm guessing is aggravation and by the looks of it she's shaking with anger

Must

Not

Laugh

Do you have any idea how hard this is?

"What have you done to MY TREE?"

Bollocks!

I should have know their was something special about this tree, I've never heard of Williams trying to reconcile people and plants before, even after all the disastrous accidents that have happened in here – with me playing a large role in a number of them – Why on earth would place your own beloved tree in the care of the known resident klutz?

It just doesn't make sense

"I didn't do anything to it!"

Well I didn't! I left it alone. I thought that's what would give it the best chance of survival given the mortality rate of things entrusted to my care

Williams didn't see it that way though

"Miss Evans really! You could at least take responsibility for your actions!"

What on earth is she talking about?

I spared a glance at the tree and did a double take

It was all shrivelled and brown, trembling slightly and looking not far off a nervous breakdown… if trees can have nervous breakdowns that is…

"What happened to the tree?"

Probably not the best thing to say seeing as I was suppose to be looking after the inane thing

"Exactly what I would like to know"

Wait, Williams thinks I did that?

"You think I did that?" I stared at her incredulously

Hey I may not like the tree, I may voice my resentful feelings towards it, imagine horrible things happening to said tree, even write about doing horrible things to said tree (see above) but I would never actually harm it, what do you people take me for? Satan's spawn?

Wait they don't even know what Satan's spawn is so bad example but still you'd have to be pretty heartless to attack a tree even if it can attack you back

"I just went to get it some plant/tree food stuff, I didn't touch it I swear"

Williams still had her eyes narrowed

"I swear I didn't touch the tree or harm it in any way, we were reconciling"

I got a few sniggers for the 'reconciling' comment

Williams still looked livid but then she just put her hand to her head and let out and exasperated sigh – I get that a lot to be honest

"Fine, Miss Evans escort Messrs Black, Potter and Pettigrew to the Headmasters office. We will deal with this when you get back"

I sort of just stared at her opened mouthed

She didn't believe me

She thought I seriously attempted to harm her tree

She's bloody mad

"Well get going Miss Evans we haven't got all day"

How can she not believe me? Just because the tree looks like it's dying doesn't mean it is… it's just acting I never…. I wouldn't….

Oh my god people will think I'm a tree killer!

**Dinner**

How I made it up to Dumbledore's office I'll never know, I just trailed behind the Marauders in a sort of daze

How could Williams think I was so malicious as to kill her tree?

It's unnerving to think some one has that little faith in you or worse yet that you're capable of such a malevolent act

James, Sirius and Peter had all been out side when Williams was having a go at me so they weren't up to speed on what I had been accused of

They were laughing and joking all the way up to the castle

Sirius was the first to enquire about my usually quite disposition

He started to walk beside me and slung an arm around my shoulder

"Come now Lilly Billy, tell old Sirius what's wrong"

I think my reaction sort of shows for itself how unstable my mind was at the time

I didn't hit Sirius for the 'Lilly Billy' comment

I didn't shove Sirius's arm off me like I usually do

I didn't make any sarcastic comebacks

I was devastated at what Williams thought I was capable of

"She thought I tried to kill her tree"

I just stated it with no emotion

The Marauders shared a look, obviously catching on that I wasn't in my correct state of mind

"Er, who thought you tried to kill their tree?"

Sirius looks sort of concerned for my mental health

Yeah, well he's not the only one

"Williams, she thinks I tried to kill her tree, just because it tried to strangle me last week and I was understandably upset by the fact that it had launched an unprovoked attack on me and then this week she was trying to 'reconcile' me the blasted thing because I have to learn to respect plants and then I went and said hello to Remus and when I came back it looked as though some one had threatened it with a chain saw but I swear I never laid a finger on it! I didn't even go near it! I didn't want to go any where near it but now Williams thinks I purposely tried to kill her stupid tree, why does she care so much about the bloody tree for anyway? But really do you think I'm capable of killing an innocent tree? Sweet Merlin I'm an accused tree killer!"

We had stopped walking by the this time and Sirius was standing sort of shocked, like he couldn't quite comprehend what I had just said and I on the other hand was having a mild panic attack, hyperventilating and everything

Admittedly I did say it all pretty fast and you probably wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about unless you knew I was an alleged tree killed

Plus I don't think they understood the chainsaw comment

Peter was sort of the same as Sirius both of them had open mouths and the arms limp at their sides

I was looking anxiously at Sirius waiting for an answer

Then to my surprise James steps in

"Look Lily calm down, I'm sure you didn't do anything, maybe the tree was just sick before you got anywhere near it"

Wow, James could actually understand my hyperactive chatter

I wonder if he understands chipmunk?

I turned to James fully

"But that's the thing it was fine before Williams left and then when I came back it looked as though some one had taken their wand to it is the most horrible way and it was Williams' personal tree. She'll kill me when I get back"

James looks thoughtful for a moment

"Wait it was Williams' personal tree?"

I nodded

He sighed with relief

"Don't worry then it'll be fine, the tree will be back to it's normal spiteful self in no time"

Now THAT was a weird thing to say

Sirius and Peter had come back to life and Sirius was even grinning

"Oh you got involved with Pandora, Williams' child substitute tree"

James just rolled his eyes

"Sirius affectionately named the tree Pandora after he got into a bit of a fix with it a couple of years ago" he explained in a bored voice

Sirius, on the other hand, got all excited

"Yes, Pandora and I go way back, our relationship started in fourth year when almost lopped off one of her limbs with a misfired severing charm, Williams almost killed me"

I sort of stared at him before turning back to James

"So I'm not the only person to be accused of being an attempted tree murderer?"

James just smiled and gave me a comforting hug (can I just say it was a very comfortable hug? Yes I think I can)

"No, far from it, Williams is over protective and the tree is over dramatic, Pandora likes to make sure she's the apple of Williams' eye"

Well at least I'm not the only mental one around here, well not when it comes to thinking that trees can be overly dramatic anyway

Maybe I underestimated that tree, or should I say Pandora?

I can't believe the Marauders have a name for that blasted tree

Sirius treated me to his entire shared history with 'Pandora', they've had quite the relationship. Starting with the almost severing of the limb to the attempted strangulation to Pandora's makeover in Sirius' hands to the most recent revenge by wedgie by Pandora

And the entire time Williams has given Sirius the look of death while tending lovingly to her beloved plant

According to James, Pandora was given to Williams by the love of her life before he went off to fight against Grindelwald and when he didn't come back she turned to the plant for comforted and ever since it has been her 'baby'

The only thing that can addle the brains of the grounded Hufflepuff head of house is a temperaMENTAL plant christened Pandora by the students

Go figure

By the time I got back to the green houses it was almost the end of class and Williams had sort of calmed down a bit and was her usual brisk self

Pandora was nowhere in sight

Thank my lucky stars

Oh my, would you look at that there's a great plate of mei goreng just staring me in the face, very unusual seeing as I usually have to request that sort of thing

Hmmm, maybe someone's looking out for me

Well whoever they are they are thanked very heartily

* * *

**Wednesday 8th February – Common Room **

Some people hate the rain

More specifically Tristan despises the rain

He can't stand it; he's more of a summer person what with his quidditch obsession and all

I tried to point out to him that flying in the rain is one of the best feelings in the world – at least I think so

Tri just looked at me like I was raving mad, gave the rain one last scowl and disappeared off to the fire

So here I am, sitting on the window sill, with the window slightly open so I can still feel the odd splatter of rain on my face every now and then

It's so nice out side, the constant drizzle has created a mist that has swept across the grounds giving them an eerie feel, with the lake so still and picturesque it sort of reminds me of the Avalon and the mysterious women who accompanied Arthur so that he may be healed and rise up to once again lead his people

Sigh

I read way too much mythology crap – though I bet if I looked it up in the library it would all be there in wizarding history what with Merlin being their god and all

I _was_ down by the lake, having a lovely conversation with the giant squid (well I did most of the talking but he did respond with a few tentacle twitches, plus he was more than happy to humour me seeing as I was sharing my cookies) and generally enjoying the feel of the rain and my surroundings

Unfortunately all that was put to a stop as McGonagall spotted me from window and felt it duty as my head of house to haul me in from my peaceful spot, lecturing me the entire way about catching my death of cold

Er… excuse me but don't we live in the wizarding world? Are there not such things as pepper up potions?

When I pointed this out McGonagall did the exasperated sigh that so many people use when talking to me and told me to get to my common room and not let her catch me outside in the rain again

Fine – next time I'll stay out of view of the windows

I think McGonagall caught onto my thinking though as she narrowed her eyes at me and escorted me to the fat lady

So now I'm stuck inside, staring longingly out the window

On a happier note I talked to Remus yesterday afternoon while everyone was at quidditch practice. He said there wasn't much to tell and that once I left Dumbledore stepped in and whisked our _beloved_ mothers off to his office.

Hmmmm

I don't think that's a good enough explanation

And I told Remus so

He bent a little after that and told me how the thing had fumed about my ungratefulness to the whole hall and had promised to make me sorry for being so disrespectful – every waking moment of my holidays will now be devoted to polo meetings and the like, I just know it, she'll making social arrangements for my every waking moment of my summer as we speak, well as I write anyway

Apparently Dumbledore was able to get through to my mother and she has decided to lay off a bit and let me do what I want with who I want – finally someone got through to that woman!

So thankfully Remus and I are longer being told that we will be courting each other and we are free to have romantic relationships with whom ever we like, for some reason Remus didn't find the latter as exciting as I did. He says he never wants to get involved romantically due to his er… 'furry little problem' as James puts it – from that description you'd think he had a dysfunctional hamster that chewed everything in sight and was very sensitive to change… not that far off actually

Oh I still have to say thank you to James for all his help on Saturday, it was so sweet of him to come after me and cheer me up, last time I saw him I was in the shock of being accused of murdering that bloody tree, oooh I wish I REALLY could make that tree bloody…

Enough about stupid trees I have just been hit with a brain wave (okay so I got it while coming up with ways to inflict the most pain upon said stupid tree but still it's a good idea…)

Why not go up to the Astronomy tower!

I can go out into the rain, it's got an excellent view AND McGonagall will never know!

Brilliant!

**Girls Dorm**

What do you know I'm not the only one who thought the astronomy tower was a good place to experience the rain and not get busted for it – the silly woman I mean honestly there's nothing wrong with a little bit of rain or a whole lot for that matter…

Anyway I snuck up to the Astronomy tower successfully avoiding McGonagall, Filch and his dirty flea ball of a cat but as I was congratulating myself on a job well done I realised there was in fact someone else sitting out in the rain

My, my we have an uncanny knack for meeting in the most peculiar places

James was sitting in the middle of the roof, legs crossed and face upturned, just enjoying the rain

"Do you mind if I join you?"

He jumped about a foot in the air and stared at me with startled eyes

He recovered himself after a second and shook his head motioned for me to sit down

"I didn't mean to startle"

He just nodded and continued to look straight ahead out towards the lake

Oh well if he doesn't want to talk that's fine with me I'm just happy to be out in the rain again

I closed my eyes and leaned back on my arms, just savouring the feel of the rain – it makes my skin feel so soft and smooth, washing away all the dirt and worry, just like it cleans the grounds, the trees seem to shimmer with renewed vigour and everything seems brighter

My god I'm such a romantic it's unbelievable, those rose coloured glasses are permanently addling my brains – damn those romantic trashy novels!

I opened my eyes and James hadn't moved so I cast my gaze over to the lake, the giant squid had moved from my spot under the tree to the middle of the lake where he was partaking in a complicated danced with the falling rain drops – maybe I shouldn't have given him those cookies, I don't know what effect chocolate chip cookies have on giant squids but from what I can see it isn't good

But I didn't give him that many, five maybe but that was all – oh wait the basket of cookies the house elves gave me is gone from where I was sitting under the tree, the giant squid must have had the rest…

Well it's no wonder he's acting like he is, I mean that basket was pretty big, why do you think I was feeding the squid some?

The giant squid did a complicated twirl with half of his tentacles coming flying out of the water and I couldn't help but laugh out loud

James snapped to attention and gave me curious look

I couldn't stop laughing so I just pointed towards the squid who was, to his credit, still continuing with his ridiculous dance moves – it was like seeing a six armed elephant do the waltz

That got a smile out of James, just a small smile but at least he had a reaction

I was beginning to worry for his sanity, I mean here is the giant squid performing perverse synchronised swimming moves on a sugar high and all he can do is _curl his lips up slightly_, what is wrong with him?

Once I got over my mirth at the squids expense (I am so feeding him cookies more often) I decided to thank James properly for Saturday

"James"

It took him a minute to register I was talking to him

"Yes"

He looked down at me with an unreadably blank face

I decided my shoelaces were far more interesting, Nessa and I had charmed them to be rainbow coloured the other day while we were supposed to be taking notes in DADA

"I just wanted to say thank you for Saturday, I really appreciate your help and for not letting me dwell on the mornings events. I had a lot of fun and I hope you did too because it really meant a lot to me"

And that ladies and gentlemen is how Lillianna Elizabeth Evans shows her appreciation for someone who has come to mean so much to her – she mumbles thanks and gratitude to her knees

I looked up with a small smile waiting for his reaction

Before I go on can I just say what happened next was completely unexpected…

The next thing I know James Potter is kissing me senseless in the pouring rain on the top of the astronomy tower

I was shocked accordingly, but some how managed to show my… er… thanks

The only question I have at the moment is how do I keep it from my friends while I try to figure out just what I am going to do…

This is going to be tricky

* * *

Hi everyone!

Yes I am well aware of the fact that most of you are overly frustrated at my lack of updates but what canI sayI had a temporary block, I got stuck with where to go but it's alright I'm back on track and have worked out what I'm doing... sort of

AnywayI would just like to thank all of the reviewers for their lovely comments and messages of incouragement and thankyou to everyone who has read my story.

However the next person to post a comment such as "When are Lily and James gonna get together already?" or "Where are your full stops?I can't see any!" will die a horific death by a toaster -I happen to be very good at blowing up toasters, I think I've killed three to date

The relationship between Lily and James is moving at the paceI want it to move so deal with it!

The writing style with no full stops seems to bother rather a lot of you, well I am dreadfully sorry but that is the way I write the story on PURPOSE, it is NOT a grammar malfunction, it is ment to be a stream of conciousness - that is how I personally wrote diary entries and notes to my friends whileI wasat schooland in fact I still do it

In other words... STOP TELLING ME TO PUT FULL STOPS IN BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT!

I'm sorry I ranted like thatbut if you go and read the reviews the vast majority of them comment on these to issue or in some cases both,

I really appreciate revies, i do i love the fact that people want to help but commenting on the same thing over and over agian does not help and is merely annoying

BUT moving right alongI invite you to comment on this chapter all you please, in fact pick it to shreds - I insist! Comment on the lack of full stops if you really must but please just tell me what you think particularly about the last entry. You see my beta has is AWOL and I can't contact her for her valued imput so PLEASE tell me what you think

And SORRY agai for the rant about the reviewsI really do love them no matter what they say...


	39. Oh My, Did That? Did We?

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

* * *

**Thursday 9th February – Girls Dorm **

Now I don't usually write in here as soon as I wake up but today I thought it to be entirely necessary. May I add that it is actually 6:55 am – I never get up this early, so what I have to write MUST be significant

Anyway, I just had the most… peculiar dream, weird in itself as I never usually dream, just doze – but this was really weird

Want to know how weird?

Well first off I was kissing James Potter – where the hell that came from I have NO idea

Second of all it was on top of the astronomy tower and it was raining cats and dogs and….

Oh

Sweet

Merlin

Wait a moment…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Oops! I screamed out loud

Now I'm being bombarded by worried friends who think I'm being attacked

"Lily are you okay?"

"Are you sick?"

"What's the matter?"

"What's happened Banana? Just realised how perfect James is for you?"

You have no idea how close you are to the truth Dana…

"I'm fine, I just er… found a spider on my bed is all, it gave me a bit of a scare…"

All I can hear now are a few muffled groans and Dana mumbling about my blindness and how I need to hit by a sledgehammer or some other piece of heavy machinery

Sledgehammer? I think I've just been directly hit by a freight train

One of the really massive ones that have about a million carriages

Oh god, what am I going to do?

I don't know what to do

How am I supposed to deal with this?

Bollocks!

Breath Lily, Breath

All will be well if you just remember to _breath _

In

Out

In

Out

That's right, now continue to repeat…

OH MY BLOODY GOD!!!!!

All right don't panic

Do NOT panic

Let's just think this through reasonably and logically and I'm sure it will be fine

HOW CAN IT _POSSIBLY_ BE FINE?!

Oh lord, now I'm trying to lie to myself… and failing miserably might I add

Okay, first thing to do would be to reread my last entry as I clearly remember writing before I went to sleep last night…

Oh my…

Well that was, hem… enlightening

I'm official the biggest sap to ever walk the earth

I vow that starting now I will never read another romance novel ever again, so long as I live – all I can say is that thank god no one will ever read this… besides myself that is

I remember everything very clearly but this just sort of confirms my fears, not that kissing James Potter was a bad thing – certainly not the stuff of nightmares, but the thing is I don't know what the hell happens next

I mean seriously, we kissed so what happens now?

More importantly what do I want to happen now?

I mean James put a hell of a lot on the line there what with just going in for the kill, actually I think I admire him for that one, I mean he's just sort of put all his feeling out there and now it's my turn to respond

The ball is in my court

My god, it feels like tennis or something – what's worse is that I WAS ALWAYS HORRIBLE AT TENNIS!!!

Or chess, you now the battle of wills thing but the thing is I'm _worse_ at chess than I am at tennis

Bollocks

Okay, Lily, remember – Calm…

But how am I supposed to make a move when I don't even know what I want to do?

Or the game rules for that matter

I mean I like James, he's a great bloke and all but I don't know if I like him _that_ way…

I mean he's still a git at times

And then there's the whole 'anonymous boyfriend' thing…

But mind you I'm no Miss Perfect either, I mean I'm unorganised, a dreadful procrastinator, a terrible role model and horribly judgmental

Who am I to judge the poor bloke?

But still I can't just string him along if I don't like him that way I have to tell him…

And from what I recall that could be rather messy considering how I reacted last night what with the kissing back and all, really this is just as much my fault as James', I mean I encouraged him

Bollocks!

What am I going to do?

First things first, I think I'll go have breakfast

Oh chocolate it's only seven thirty – see what this is doing to me? Normally I'm not even AWAKE at seven thirty and here I am going to breakfast …

I'm going mad I tell you, just plain balmy

Library 

Well today's been fun

I've had to dodge just about every person I know so that they won't ask me about… well anything

I'm terrified that if I open my mouth words will just start pouring out and I won't be able to stop them

My mind has become an absolute disaster area, well it was before but I'm talking post World War Two Eastern Europe disaster area, country side bombed to bits and millions of misplaced persons included

Actually I feel a bit like a misplaced person, only this misplaced person doesn't even know which way is up…

This morning I threw on my clothes, grabbed my bag and ran out the door leaving a behind one very messed up bed and one very confused Vanessa Halleway

Nessa's big blue eyes just stared at me as I fled down the stairs, probably wondering what unholy spirit had invaded my body

I was in such a hurry to escape from my dorm mates that I only grabbed my headband – bad move

At the time I wasn't really giving much thought to physical appearance, so I gave my hair the day off and let it do as pleased – a Labour Day holiday for my hair if you will and it seems to have made the most of the situation, rejoicing in the fact it's not in a braid all day

Going out of its way to annoy the hell out of me or maybe I'm just aggravated…

But enough about my hair, the rest of my day was far more interesting

I actually ended up having breakfast in the kitchens

Why not have it in the great hall?

Well because a) I think most people I know would die of shock if I was to enter the great hall of my own free will this early in the morning (Aren't I selfless?) and more importantly b) James was waiting for me in the entrance hall

I heard people talking in the entrance hall and thought nothing of it until I heard Sirius' voice

"Come on Prongs I'm starving, let's just go to breakfast, you can find Lady Lily later"

I stopped dead

"Sirius, I told you go ahead, eat your breakfast, I'll be there in a minute"

He sounds slightly irritated, maybe it's because Star Boy has been whining – he tends to do that a lot, Sirius whining I mean

"Why do you want to speak to Lily so badly anyway?"

Remus, ever the reasonable one, tries to find the root of the problem

Wait a minute… He didn't tell them about what happened?

Oh lords that's just hit me

"Yeah, I mean don't you have rounds together tonight anyway?"

…

Where, oh where, did I put that 'Sickly' pack Will gave me a couple of years back, it was his attempt at corrupting me – told me to eat a chocolate any time I didn't want to go to class and it would make me as sick as a dog

Hopefully it actually works and that way I can avoid my prefect duties tonight

Peter seemed to have convinced James to go to breakfast as I didn't hear anything after that

But I wasn't taking any chances, I used a lesser known passage to get me to the kitchen, nicked a bit of toast and made my way to my first class

For the rest of the day I've sort of tried to keep to my self and sort a few things out…

Not that I actually got anywhere with that one

I have new respect for the post war leaders, what exactly are you meant to do with all those misplaced persons? And what about all those buildings that suddenly lay in ruins, their foundations strewn about for miles?

My friends were of course completely baffled by my decidedly antisocial behaviour and have tried all day to discover the reason behind it

Good luck with that

Like I'm going to tell them about what's happened with James when I myself aren't even sure what's going on

Speaking of James, I have successfully avoided him all day – which may or may not be a good thing I'm not sure yet

I even managed to avoid Remus successfully when he sought me out at lunch, I told him I had a counselling session with Williams and her beloved Pandora, though some how I don't think he believed me – it may have been the anxious look on my face, my terrible lying abilities or the fact that I then ran in the completely opposite direction

I think I may be tempted to go for a combination of the three but mostly the last one

What I'm going to do about rounds tonight I have no idea

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sorry someone just covered my eyes with their hands and considering the number of people I'm avoiding at the moment it freaked me out a bit

Thankfully it's just Charlie

"Er… Hi Lily, I just thought you could maybe help me with a couple of charms but if this is a bad time…"

He sounds slightly wary, that could be due to the fact I was clutching my notebook to my chest as though clinging on to dear life but whatever…

Charlie's now giving me one of those concerned glances, I seem to be attracting a lot of them today…

Remember Lily – Calm

Hummmmmmmmm

You know higher places and all that

"Really, Charlie it's fine , you just… startled me is all"

He gives me a disbelieving look

"Really, it's fine, I was just spacing out… slightly"

He doesn't believe me

Mind you I don't believe me so…

"Oh stop it, show us the stupid charm you want help with"

We don't really do structured tutoring sessions any more, Charlie just gets me to help him with the odd charm every now and then

Hopefully this will take all night and I won't have to lie about not being able to do patrols and I can just help Charlie all night, surely James will understand what with it being his little brother and all…

Some how I doubt it

* * *

**Friday 10th February – The Lake, Making a Complete Git of Myself **

Well last night I helped Charlie with some charm that was giving him trouble, what that boy was doing with his hands I'll never know, until we got kicked out of library and even then we kept at it once we had relocated to the common room

Apparently he had to do a demonstration in front of the class today and he didn't want to make a gigantic prat of himself in front of Melissa, the two of them have actually started talking, thank the heavens and wouldn't you know it the screaming match between the Thing and I is what triggered it

Melissa happened to comment on how… ahem, _desirable_ I seem to be

The girl has addled brains I tell you!

Anyway Charlie didn't realise it was her talking and answered saying how nuts my mother was and how he had fears it was hereditary and some how it just went from there

Well at least my insanity is benefiting someone…

I continued with the antisocial thing today, my friends seem to be treating it as though I'm having a bit of break down (they're not far off) and have decided to leave me to be

Though Nessa did seek me out at lunch today when I was hiding away in one of the darker hallways, how she found me I'll never know

"Lily"

I must have jumped about a foot in the air, I had been daydreaming out the window, as I am prone to do, when she came up behind me

"Lily, I'm worried about you, we all are"

I didn't really know what to say so I just kept quiet

"You know that you can tell us anything and we'll all try our best to help"

She looked so eager to help I felt horrible for not being able to answer

I mean what could I say - 'James Potter kissed me and now I'm in emotional turmoil'

That sounds far too teenage angst like when I say it to my self let alone any one else

"When you're ready Banana, we'll be here for you"

Oh gods I feel horrid

They must think that something's seriously wrong, like my father died or Aunt Dotty finally decided to behave like a dignified woman of her age

Wait until the find out this is all due to some silly little kiss

But it's not a silly little kiss and it really is causing me some anxiety

Especially after what just happened

James found me

I knew he would sooner or later, I just tricked myself into believing it would be later

Though I still don't understand just how he found me out here, by the lake under one of the far off beech trees. I was extremely careful about staying out of view of the windows seeing as it's raining and McGonagall would surely be on the look out but some how James Potter being James Potter managed to find me

Still not completely sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing

But it certainly didn't put my mind at all to rest

I was under one of the trees that completely shielded me from view of the castle, the giant squid was milling around trying his luck for some more cookies (had I thought about it I probably would have brought him some but the mine field that is my mind wasn't really concerned with giants squids on sugar highs at the moment) and I was just sort of staring out at the forest, thinking and playing with my hair, which by the way I have completely given up on

All of a sudden some one sat next to me

What is it with these people and sneaking up on me? Don't they know it's a common curtesy to let people see you coming so that they may quickly duck out of view and avoid a meeting if they wish?

They obviously missed that particular etiquette lesson

Well when I realised it was James I sort of stared at him in absolute horror for a moment before quickly looking back at the lake

He sat there sort of staring at me for a while as though trying to fathom what the hell was going on in my head

Well good luck to him, if he found any form of logic or reasonable thought I would love for him to inform me of it via a quick memo as I don't think he'll be speaking with me again any time soon

So James continued to stare at me, thinking that the side of my face was going to reveal the secrets of the universe or something, meanwhile I could feel myself going redder and redder and well yes, I felt like one big strawberry tart – the tart bit being that I snogged a guy senseless on the astronomy tower two days ago and haven't so much as said 'hi' to him since, plus I'm feeling a bit mushy like the custard

Oh dear, I've started comparing myself to desserts, admittedly very nice, yummy desserts but still desserts

Obviously James hadn't come out here just to stare at me and have me completely overlook his presence. He wasn't too pleased about the whole not talking to him thing, which I really don't blame him for that actually.

"Lily, we have to talk about this"

I turned and looked at him as though he was mad

Haven't we been through his before? I'm almost positive I've heard him say that before, admittedly it was a completely different situation but the connotations are still the same…

Okay so maybe we do need to talk about this but preferably later once I have some understanding of where my mind is going with this. At the moment mad mothers and friends with ridiculous love lives are far from my mind, I'm trying to decipher my own mind, which in all honesty is no easy task

James took my silence as indication for him to continue

"About Wednesday night on the Astronomy tower, I'm sorry I took advantage of you like that, I should have asked first but – "

Oh Merlin, I don't like where this is going

I think I shall have to stop it before it goes any further

"It's alright James, you're not completely to blame, I mean I didn't exactly discourage you"

Now James is the one looking wide eyed

Again my eyes are just drawn to my knees

"And in all honesty I shouldn't have, it was a mistake what happened – "

"What do you mean it was a _mistake_?"

My eyes flew up at James' indignant tone

"What I mean is that it happened for all the wrong – "

"Wrong? What was wrong? Is this just a game to you or something? Have you just realised you're in too deep? Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

What to answer first… when I can get a word in that is

"No! you see… er… I … it's hard to explain…"

James was not at all satisfied with my dreadful attempt at explaining what the hell was going on

"Hard to explain? What is so hard to explain?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer

"EVERTHING! Just _everything_, okay? I have about a hundred different things going round in my head and I don't know what to do about most of it, especially when it comes to you. Between my mother, my friends and now_ this – _I'm sort of stretched here!"

That didn't go down well either, it appears James doesn't like being yelled at…

"_I know Lily_, I _know_ you're worried about your mother, your sisters wedding, your brothers, your nutcase friends, _even my bloody brother and his demented love life_"

He was throwing his hands about by this stage

"But for one minute I'm asking you to worry about me, and more importantly you, for a second, all I want is for you to answer me this: How do you feel about me?"

I just stared at him with a pained look on my face

That would be the million galleon question, mate

"Answer me Lily"

I was shaking by this time, knowing my answer wasn't going to satisfy even if it was honest

I hung my head and mumbled to my beloved knees

"I don't know"

At first I thought he hadn't heard me, but he did

Oh yes, he heard me all right

James was silent for a moment and just stared down at me, I really wished in those couple of seconds he would say something but then once he did I really wanted the silence back

"I can't do this any more Lily"

The heartbreaking thing was the resigned tone of his voice

That's when the tears started to well up

"Lat me know when you do know"

And then he just walked off

Just like that, he walked away, he didn't give me a chance to explain what was going on or anything he just walked off with out another word

I feel so guilty for not being able to answer like he wanted but in the same sense I'm absolutely seething at him for making me feel guilty and not letting me sort things out

But mostly I feel miserable, like I've had my heart torn out and stomped on, because I let him walk away

When I think about it, it probably has

* * *

**Saturday 11th February – Kitchens, At a disgustingly early hour of the morning when other normal people are in bed, I'm near positive it is now Saturday but I have been here so long it could very well not be Saturday and I am merely over estimating the period of time I've been here **

Well after my last entry I promptly burst into tears that seemed to last for bloody ever, I'm quite embarrassed by it now but at that point I was beyond caring, I think I just let out all my frustrations, thank god there was no one around to witness that not even James

He has a peculiar knack for bringing out my emotional side

I don't know how he does it but James somehow manages to drive bloody insane, infuriate me to no end, make me want to laugh until my sides hurt and want to snog him senseless all at the same time.

He just takes the rules of my well organised world I've learned to live in and bended it all about so the guidelines I constructed for my self don't even apply any more, everything just gets so jumbled up when I'm around him it's hard to explain

I mean Sirius is just as good looking as James, he infuriates me at times and he makes me laugh but I don't feel the need to snog _him_. Remus is increadibly sweet and lovely but I never just want to wrap my arms around him and hug _him _until I fall asleep.

It's just James

And for some reason that scares me witless

After crying until I was exhausted and dehydrated, crying really takes it out of you, I dragged myself up to the Gryffindor tower. I trailed through the halls not really seeing where I was going just following the normal path back to the common room. I wasn't even bothering to look out for Filch, I think I did bump into Mrs Norris at one stage, I may have even patted her absent mindedly once her presence was brought to my attention through her usual mewing.

I think it was the shock of actually being patted that kept her from rushing off to Filch, I assume she never made it too him as I wasn't pounced on and ordered to clean up the trail of water and muddy footprints I left through out the castle.

I some how managed to get through the common room unnoticed, but I did spot James briefly before making my way up the stairs, he was talking to the other Marauders by the fire. He looked his normal happy self but there was definitely something a bit off about him

I suppose it's a good thing he's not brooding

Unlike me

Thankfully the dorm was empty when I got up there, I had a roasting shower that I spaced out of for the most of and then pulled my curtains tight around my bed and prepared myself for the final confrontation between Lily and Anna

For this too work I have realised I am going to have to listen to the cases of my different alter egos and hopefully come up with a compromise for me, Lillianna, to be able to accept

First things first was to realise that yes, I am ever so slightly commitment phobic and also my damn pride has to much sway over my actions.

I just have to accept that love means mistakes are going to be made and yes I am going to make a fool of myself at some stage because there are no rules when it comes to romance, only understandings that are different for every relationship

Also trust is a very big part of this, you need to trust the person with you so completely to be faithful, caring and not to laugh when you make a fool of yourself

I think that's my biggest issue – being embarrassed by my actions. What can I say, I was always taught to control my emotions and hide my heart as if you are open about such things it leaves you open to criticism as soft and weak.

But when you think about it you have to be a very brave and strong person to admit you are in love or have such feelings towards someone. The taboo society has placed on the declaration of such feelings makes it feel so… embarrassing

Which is why it's so damn hard

So having realised all this Lily has been humbled into self pitying silence

Anna however feels it is now her turn to talk

James question is very difficult to answer

'_What do you feel for me?'_

So many things, all at the same time, that it's impossible to decipher it all just in a couple of words. Like I said he causes so many emotions to come bursting forth all at once

At the beginning of the year I was convinced he was a gigantic prat who was shallow as a paddling pool. I'm still convinced he's a gigantic prat but unfortunately he does have some emotional depth and can be quite sweet when he wants to be

All right so yes, I do get a little loopy around James as in there's just something about him. I always end up having fun with him apart from when you know he gets jealous and thinks I'm stupid enough to ask him for romantic advice which ends up with us both frustrated and furious

But usually when we are just hanging out and having fun we seem to have a brilliant time. It makes me smile just to think of him and the fact that he does care for me does make me feel all tingly and special

The kiss on Wednesday just brought every thing into a sharp focus and I'm not too proud to admit it freaked me out in a big way

I just don't know how to express my feelings or what exactly those feelings are to begin with

Sigh

I have so much to learn when it comes to this being social thing

Here I am drowning my sorrows in chocolate chip cookies and tea

Trying to probe the inner workings of my demented mind

Though I do think I have a tendency to over analyse things so this could all end in tears if I'm left to my self, actually I think it's going to end in tears anyway so why worry really

I haven't spoken to any of my friends about this yet and I don't intend to, though I'm beginning to realise that I do actually need some help here just to keep things in perspective

I sure they all still think I'm having a mental breakdown of some description, I haven't said any thing to them to communicate otherwise but then I haven't down much communicating at all so I don't know how they feel about this one but it better not be met with the whole 'you should have told us' thing or I may just tell them where to go

But I think they have the measure of me by now that seclusion means I'm working things through in my head and I'll tell them when I'm ready

I hope they've got that at least

"Lilikins!"

Oh God, I think I may have just experienced my first major heart attack

Bloody Star Boy and his sneakyness

"Hi Sirius"

I'm immediately wary of Sirius I still don't remember the entirety of our last in depth conversation

"What're you up to Lilikins? Craving cookies again I see"

More like craving a distraction

I just smiled and turned back to my tea and the previous drowning of sorrows

Not that this deterred Sirius

"All right Lily what's going on? James' in 'a mood' and you're being Little Miss Anti-Social, I am intelligent enough to connect the two, you know"

Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away

Oh Merlin, I'm delusional

"So what happened Lily? Did James finally grow a pair and snog you or what?"

I turned my head so fast I think cricked my neck

He has no idea how accurate he is…

"He _kissed_ you?!"

Or maybe he does

"Sweet Merlin! When did this happen? I can't believe he actually did it, I'm so proud, my little Jamsie is all grown up. After months of beating around the bush he finally got the guts to go in for the kill, I'm just so proud! It definitely explains his behaviour over the last couple of days – Wait, why aren't you guys together then? Why haven't I, your, well James', most beloved friend not been informed of this"

For the whole time that Star Boy was prattling away I just sort of stared at him

He is going to be so off me when I inform him of my gittishness

Now he's got this determined look in his eye, like he's going to get to the bottom of this whether I like it or not

Oh bugger it, I think I'll just tell him and get it over with

"Erm… because I'm an idiotic prat who can't do anything right"

"You didn't kiss him back?!"

He actually sounds rather indignant on his friend's behalf

If only I hadn't this would be a hell of a lot less messy

Wait, no it would be just as messy, I retract my former statement

Plus that kiss was so worth it

Anyway back on topic

"Well, yes I did but…."

Sirius seems riveted

"But?"

But, bugger it, it's all too hard

Leave me alone to my bloody tea and go snog Bridge or something

That's what I'd like to say but I don't think Sirius would accept that as a substantial answer

"I don't think I should have as it has made things rather… messy"

Sirius raised his eyebrows

"I hate to tell you this sweetheart but it was going to be messy whether you kissed back or not"

Thankyou Captain Obvious

"But you did kiss him back so I don't know what the big deal is, you are obviously the reason he's been acting like a complete prat for the last couple of days, so what happened after that?"

Hmmm, here's a challenge for you, put my next actions into words in such a way that I don't come off a complete prat

Nope, can't be done

"Erm well at eh end of the evening we said goodnight and we went off to bed – however the entirety of the situation hit me when I woke up and … well…"

Sirius gave me a knowing glance

"And you avoided James like the plague?"

I glared at him

"I didn't mean to I just didn't know what I was going to say"

Star Boy rolled his eyes at me and cast his eyes around for a helpful house elf

"Well I'm glad to finally know the reason behind the James' newly achieved levels of gitness, though we did guess it had something to do with the lovely Lilikins"

He cast me a glance after ordering some éclairs and the like from a passing elf

"You're lucky Peter's not here, he was about ready to hex James this afternoon, couldn't get him to concentrate on chess, and James is the only one who can give old Worms a decent game "

I groaned

"That's just what I was trying to prevent, I didn't want to talk to James until I could give him a straight answer about what was going on, I mean he put a lot on the line what with the whole just going for it thing, I thought the least I could do was sort out what the hell I was feeling before talking to him, however it seems to have just backfired on me, yet again"

Sirius was now eyeing me shrewdly

"Well at least you had good intentions, which saves me the trouble of tearing you limb from limb for messing my best mate about"

The scary thing in all this is he was deadly serious about the tearing me limb from limb thing

It gives me the chills just thinking of it, Sirius is definitely not someone to cross, more importantly you don't cross his friends if you value your physical and mental health

"Honestly Sirius I feel awful about this, leaving James hanging and all that but I just haven't been able to convince myself to confront the whole feelings thing and how they relate to James"

Sirius gave me a knowing look

"Lily, I don't think the feelings are the bit you're having trouble with, it's more the commitment bit and most importantly about putting your pride on the line"

Oh dear, I think he's hit the proverbial nail on the proverbial head

I know what I feel about James I've just been deluding myself into thinking that I don't so I don't have to deal with the whole decision of what to do next

"So Lily now we know what the problem is – "

He's rather perceptive this Star boy

I must learn to be less readable whilst around him

"You can weigh up your feelings for James against the value of your pride"

Just what I wanted to hear

* * *

**Saturday 11th February – Dorm Room **

After leaving me with that lovely little piece of advice Star Boy grabbed his sweets and various cakes and waltzed out into the night

I stared in to space for a far while after he left and was only brought back to reality when I went to drink my tea and got a brain freeze, I then decided it was probably best to make my way up to bed

Thankfully I was able to fall asleep pretty quickly

I don't think I could have handled tossing and turning all night thinking about James and the fact that I have screwed things up so completely

Right now I am just waiting for the others to wake up so that I can spill my guts and hopefully obtain their help in getting myself out of the trouble I have created for myself

I'm actually sitting on the end of Nessa's bed

She's usually the first one to get up on the weekends

Oh yay she's waking up – finally

"Hey Lily, what are you doing up? I swear something's possessed you the last couple of days, you haven't been near any creepy artefacts lately have you?"

I smile sadly and shake my head slowly

Merlin, I'm such a prat

"Not that I know of, but I need to talk to you and the others"

"About bloody time, we thought we were going to have to ambush you or something"

I glared over at Bridget, who was looking ridiculously glamorous for someone who has just woken up

Always straight to the point is our Bridget

"Yeah well it wouldn't have done us any good" adds her twin

Dana looks just as gorgeous first thing in the morning as Bridget

Damn them both

Rhi props herself up

"Definitely not, seeing as Lily here is about the most tight lipped person I know"

"True, very true, we could have tried some truth serum though"

Nessa rolls her eyes at Bridget

"Yes, but that's no longer necessary as Lily is here to tell us now"

I smile at Nessa

Now where do I start?

"Okay, come on, spit it out – we do have a quidditch game to go to you know"

That got my attention

"We do?"

Panic is now taking over my mind

Oh Merlin if Gryffindor is playing today then my guilt factor is about to triple seeing as I have upset the Captain and am about to off load my problems on to one of the chasers

Hmmm, I may have to rethink this

Rhi noticed my stricken expression

"It's okay Lily, it's Ravenclaw versus Slytherin"

I just nod and swallow

"Erm, well, I suppose I should tell you how this all started…. Well you see on Wednesday afternoon I was up on top of the astronomy tower – "

Dana interrupts, eyebrows raised

"Wednesday afternoon? Wasn't it raining, well more bucketing down on Wednesday?"

"Er… yes?"

"What on earth were you doing up on the astronomy tower then?"

"Avoiding McGonagall"

Dana still looks confused

Nessa tries to help her out

"Dana, it's Lily, our very own little water baby, she was most likely hiding out from McGonagall so she could sit out in the rain and not get into trouble for it, now Lily continue"

I gulped

"Okay, well I met James up there and well I thanked him for making me feel better on Saturday and he… er, he kissed me"

My friends had been bursting to ask questions since I mentioned James and at the mention of kissing they couldn't help themselves, they all started babbling at once

"He kissed you?! Oh Merlin, that's fantastic!"

"You kissed him back right? Please tell me you kissed him back, I mean how could you not?"

"Was he any good? I bet he was, he's had a thing for you for so long, I bet he was fantastic, you lucky thing!"

"About bloody time, I thought he was never going to do it! I was about smack him one the next time he started drilling me about you"

Rhi was the first one to twig that there was more too it, the twins were far to busy verbalising there predictions of how good a kisser James is – they didn't even come close

"Er, Lily, why aren't you two together then? I mean I assume you kissed him back because to be honest it's rather obvious you have a thing for him"

"To us I mean. Not to every one else, it's just because we know you so well that it's ovious to us" Rhi added hurriedly after seeing my look of absolute horror

I let slip a resigned sigh

"Well yes, of course I kissed him back, he's gorgeous and an excellent kisser may I add but um, I managed to completely stuff it up "

Nessa gave me a knowing look

"You went into denial, didn't you?"

"A bit"

The twins looked at me disbelieving

"All right so I went into denial a whole lot but that's beside the point, well no it's not that's probably the main cause of all my problems but still, let me finish"

I took a deep breath

"I really stuffed everything up, I thought it would be best if I figured out just what I felt for James before I talked to him so I would know what the hell I was going to say"

Dana shook her head

"That definitely sounds very Lily-ish, keeping everything controlled and within the realm of logic"

I have to agree, it's so very true

"Tell me about it, that's why I temporarily became a hermit – I was trying to get my head together"

"Can't say I envy you, your mind in a dangerous place"

Nessa knows just what to sya to make the whole lot of us smile

"Be that as it may, James eventually caught up with me, I have no idea how he did though, yesterday while I while I was down at the lake. And yes, well, he wanted answers that at the time I didn't have. He got really quite upset with the fact that I still didn't understand what the hell was go on with myself"

By this time I was on a roll and I was fighting back tears remembering the look on James' face

"He started shouting about how I worry too much about other people ("He has a point there" "Shut up Dana" "You shut up Bridget" "Both of you – _shut the hell up_!") and accused me of playing some kind of game with him and getting myself in too deep and then he asked me the million galleon question of how I felt about him and of course I couldn't answer and told him I didn't know and well that went down _really_ well…"

Of course the whole time I had been talking to my knees _yet again_

My god my knees know an awful lot about me

Anyway I looked up at my friends to gage their reactions

"But the worst bit was when he said he couldn't 'do this anymore' what ever 'this' is anyway, the worst bit was the way he said it, as though he was giving up entirely and he said to let him know when I did know and then he just walked away…"

At this bit I broke down

Nessa wrapped her arms around me in a bear hug and pretty soon Dana, Bridget and Rhi had all come over and piled on top of us

"Awww, Lily, you really like him, don't you?"

Nessa was stroking my hair

"Yes, unfortunately I do, but now James thinks I don't like him at all and to add insult to injury it was Sirius Black who pointed out to me that I knew perfectly well what I feel for James I was just to scared of what comes next to accept it"

Bridget looked at me surprised

"Where'd you meet Sirius?"

At least she hasn't accused me of seeking Star Boy out

"In the kitchens this morning at like 2am while I was trying to distract myself with chocolate chip cookies and hot tea"

They all just nodded

Meeting one of the Marauders in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning is simply routine as far as we are concerned

"So what are you going to do now?"

That, my dear Dana, would be the two million galleon question

"I have no idea"

I think my hopelessness showed through all to well

"Come on Banana, let's go to the quidditch and cheer on the Ravenclaws against the nasty Slytherins and we can brain storm later"

I looked hopefully at Nessa

"So you're not mad at me for not telling you about all this straight away?"

It was Rhi that answered

"Of course not! We're just happy that you eventually felt you could tell us what was going on and overjoyed that you want our advice and god forbid our help"

I smiled

I love my friends, they can be so very wonderful when they want to be

How they are going to help me with James I don't know but it's good to have someone to bounce ideas off

Makes me remember why I love them all so much

* * *

Okay I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write and post this chapter, I did leave home and go travelling for just over five months but the rest of the time I was just being lazy – I am immensely sorry and I have no excuse for such lax behaviour

I am dedicating this chapter to all my wonderful readers who have stuck it out with me and waited so patiently for this chapter

Thanks to everyone who sent me messages and pleas for me to update, your encouragement and reminders were appreciated. I hope this chapter satisfies for now the next one will be up soon

Many thanks,

Jen

And remember to

R

E

V

I

E

W


	40. The Games Begin

**Absolute Shocker! **

**By JamesRoxMySox **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios**

* * *

**The Quidditch Pitch – Watching The Wise Ravenclaws Have A Good Shot At Those Slimy Slytherins**

Right

I'm beginning to rethink this whole 'let's go watch some quidditch to make you feel better' idea

Here I am sitting, I don't know, what 9 feet maybe, at best, from the bloke who is at the present moment causing me head spins

He, however, is looking rather pleased with himself, mind you he does have a very pretty brunette batting her eyelashes up at him on his left

The presence of said pretty brunette is not helping my present state of mind to say the least

Now I know I have absolutely no right to get all upset and heaven forbid _jealous_ about that fact that this charming young woman is giving her full attentions to one James Potter, I mean hello, he's James Potter! Females are falling at his feet left, right and centre and all hours of the night and day

Oh no, what I object to is the fact that he's _encouraging _her!

How dare he! The gigantic prat! I should…

Wait, I don't have the right to do anything seeing as I was the one who ripped out his heart and supposedly shredded it, unwittingly of course, but still ripped out his heart and shredded it none the less

Mind you I'm not taking full blame seeing as he's not the best person at communicating feelings and what not

I mean really he could have eased into it you know

Hey, this makes him an even bigger tart than me!

Hard to believe I know but it does indeed look rather slutty from my standpoint

I mean he snogs a girl on Wednesday night, tries to get a verbal confession of undying love from said girl on Friday, never once voicing his own feelings (See, I've thought about this, he has never once said he liked me, he just kissed me – I want a commitment here!) then on Saturday turns up with some other little hussy, however pretty said hussy is, she is still a hussy

"Lily!"

Eeeeeeek!

Oh it's alright it's just Cam, he's trying to call my attention to the fact that the game is going to start

I thought it might have been someone else, someone who I would prefer didn't read any of this entry and is sitting about, oh 9 feet away…

Actually he's giving me one of those exasperated looks I'm so used too, the game isn't about to start either – I wonder what on earth he wants?

I was quite happy ranting, he should know by know I don't like my ranting interrupted

"Er, yes?"

He just rolled his eyes

"You didn't hear a word of what I was telling you, did you?"

Uh oh

I was to preoccupied with ranting about James and the little hussy that I completely missed whatever important piece of quidditch trivia Cam was waffling about

At least I'm pretty sure he was waffling about quidditch trivia

"Of course I did, you were saying something about the great quidditch match of '29 between the Cyclones and the um, Meat Cleavers or something…"

Please let him have been waffling about that bloody game again, _please_

Never thought I would be making that particular request any time soon, ah well desperate times call for desperate measures and all that bollocks

"You mean the Great Quidditch _Final_ of _1939_ between the _Tornados_ and the – oh just forget it lily, I wasn't even talking about that anyway!"

Cam let out a frustrated sigh

"Well what were you talking about then?"

Honestly they expect me to keep track of every little thing

I know I sound like a sulky little brat but that's beside the point

"I was trying to point out the fact that James is trying rather too hard with Violet Hunter"

I raised my eyebrows

So the hussy has a name…

Oh Merlin, I'm boarding on obsessive this is not good

"Your point being?"

Cam rolled his eyes

"Well obviously he's trying to make you jealous and by the looks of it he's managing splendidly" He looked pointedly at my dairy

"Oh shut up! See if I care that he's being a git, he's the one who won't let me explain and he doesn't say what he means he just does stuff and expects that to be enough"

Cam's face distorted with disgust

"That was far too much information, I think the mental images may have just scarred me"

I punched him lightly

"Oh shut up, you big Jesse"

Of course I explained things to Cam and Tri when we meet them down at breakfast, it was much easier the second time round seeing as I had my ever helpful friends to offer support and of course their own comments on the situation

I believe Bridget summed it up nicely: Basically James snogged Lily, she freaked when she woke up the next morning and avoided James like the Dragon Pox. James got pissed and found Lily and then asked her what she felt for him before being all melodramatic and flouncing off in a strop to leave our poor Lily all bewildered. Luckily Sirius came along and gave her a few pointers so now she's finally realised she has a thing for James, only now he's pissed and she's at a lose as to what to do

As you can imagine she was quite red in the face after that rather detailed tirade

"What's he going to achieve by making me jealous, hmmm?"

I mean apart from convincing me further of his gittishness

"Proving, more to himself than anyone else, that he's still one of Hogwarts' most sought after bachelors, oh and you know, getting his own back for when he was wallowing in misery and you were all happy and completely unaffected"

My mouth formed an 'O' shape

"Well he really is stupid git then isn't he"

I say after a minute as the players walk onto the pitch

Cam gives me a side was glance

"Correction – a stupid git you happen to be head over heels for"

Bollocks

He's got me there I have to say

Blast James and his being so… well, so bloody him

Oh look their off!

Hey! You can't do that!

Not even a minute in and the Slytherins are playing dirty

I just know this isn't going to be pretty, mind you quidditch never is

* * *

**Sunday 12th February – Detention in Yougarty's Dungeon, pickling what I suspect to be some poor unfortunate _late _animals' spleens and other squealchy bits**

Well I was right when I said it wasn't going to end pretty

The Slytherins, true to form, played with very underhanded tactics and seriously injured one of the Ravenclaw beaters, I doubt the poor girls hair will ever be the same

The end result was not pleasing, well not for the Gryffindors anyway. It was a close game and Ravenclaw won by the catching of the snitch, much to the annoyance of the Slytherins, Ravenclaw managed to pull away a bit towards the end, despite all their efforts, legal and otherwise

Ravenclaw turned out to be quite a good team much to the despair of the Gryffindor team, apparently this has upped the ante and means Gryffindor have to win their next match, which is against Ravenclaw, by a certain amount of points

Don't ask me how it works all I know is that the Gryffindor team needs to work their arses off to get the Cup and that's because Cam told me so, I was only there for the therapy which was quite helpful to be honest

Screaming your lungs out and shouting various insults at people who can't even hear you is surprisingly therapeutic

Especially when the git who you are actually quite ticked off with is within your line of sight

I think Nessa may be on to something here, hmmm maybe I should take her advice more often

Oh god no, I retract my last statement

I just recalled some of her so called 'advice' and it always leads to trouble

Her advice would also be the reason why I am now glumly pickling the various parts of some poor creatures anatomy

I swear I've never known animal parts to disappear so quickly from the potions store cupboard, though Yougarty did say something about waiting for a student in detention who actually knew how to preserve potion ingredients properly

Sometimes I really wish I was devoid of intellect, then I would be scrubbing floors or something rather than fiddling about with slippery body parts

Why exactly am I in detention in the first place never mind playing about with dead things?

Well that would be because I followed Nessa's advice and really 'let myself go' in regards to the quidditch

I was not impressed with Slytherin

Okay, yes, they are a good team talent wise but they are a good team talent wise that cheats at every opportunity

Some of the Slytherins I'm friendly with are actually quite ashamed of their team's lack of sportsmanship but apparently the captain's a bit loopy (aren't they all?) and is determined to win the cup this year through means fair or foul

Hmmm, sounds a bit nutty to me but then James has the Gryffindors up at 5:30 in the morning to practice so I would say he's only one rung down the crazy ladder

Or maybe it's just because he hasn't become desperate yet

Anyway The Slytherins won, much to the despair of many

Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors alike tried to comfort the Ravenclaws

Most people were convinced that the Slytherins had got away with murder and should be disqualified from the competition for the Quidditch Cup

Nessa, Tri and the twins were being particularly vocal, I'll admit I was encouraging them, hell, I was probably louder then the rest of them put together

I was having far to good a time bagging the Slytherins to care much for what was going on around me

Hence I didn't really register when I smacked into Regulus Black and it completely escaped me that now would be a good time to shut up

But no of course I didn't shut up I just kept going

Knowing Reggie as well as I do I know for a fact that he's itching for a fight most of the time but straight after a quidditch match he's just about ready to jump anything that moves and isn't wearing Slytherin robes

Mind out of the gutter please

I think it has to do with all the adrenaline courses through his small mind, it throws out the already wavering chemical balance

So me, one of his favourite punching bags, verbally bashing the good Slytherin name at the top of my voice, right in front of dear Reggie, offers up a chance to good to miss

First came the verbal abuse, he had the nerve to call me a sore loser, I almost smacked him one – well I did but that came later…

To begin with I gave him a dressing down on his obscene quidditch tactics

"You call that playing Quidditch? More like a demonstration by Thugs 'R' Us! Surely your keeper can't be that bad that you have to physically take out the opposing chasers"

"Watch it Mudblood! Our keeper has more talent in his little toe than the whole Gryffindor team put together"

"Oh really? Is that why the last Gryffindor – Slytherin was such an embarrassment? So you're keeper has what it takes but the rest of you are hopeless then"

We carried on like this for a while until Reggie finally cracked his cool and tried to hex me – stressing the 'tried', he wasn't very successful

I think he tried to through some silly dark spell at me that his cousin Bellatrix taught him, lucky for me I had the help of his other cousin Narcissa and that wonderful little blocking spell that does the bouncing thing

Quite nifty really, not only does it block the spell but it causes it to rebound upon it's creator but it first bounces of the closest object so they think they're safe for a moment but really they're not

As I said rather nifty

However Black managed to dodge it and then I cursed him with that little jig hex that provides entertainment for all

He cursed me with some tickling charm or what not – I swear to Merlin I have never laughed so hard in my life

We both attempted to throw a few more hexes and curses but between me laughing my head off and Reggie dancing about the place they never seemed to find their mark

Well as you can imagine that wasn't going to stop the two of us

I think we both lunged at each other at approximately the same time as our little disagreement turned far from pretty

We were a tangle of arms and legs going everywhere trying to cause as much damage to the other as possible, all the while I'm cackling the wicked witch of the East and Blacks legs are trying to out do any passing leprechauns

I'm positive this caused much needed amusements for the masses as none of my beloved friends or peers came to my assistance, I believe they were all to busy pissing themselves laughing to lend a hand

Eventually it was Fogarty who came to investigate the source of the students delight and he was most displeased with what he saw, well, that's what he lead us to believe but secretly I'm sure he found it just as amusing as everyone else

"Ms Evans! Mr Black! Stop this at once, there is no need for such violence!"

He tried to get close enough o pull us apart but he copped a foot in the stomach, I'm not entirely sure who's foot it was to be honest , could've been Blacks but I'm willing to take credit for it

Seeing as he'd just been winded Fogarty decided to back off and call for reinforcements

"Mr Potter, Ms Bones – please assist me to put a stop to this nonsense"

You won't get any help from that quarter Yougarty

"We've already tried sir, but to part them physically you're more likely to get a kick in the teeth"

"Well have you tried using your wand Ms Bones?"

Now, now not need to be patronising

Black and I were still giving no heed to those around us but apparently we were quite the sight

"Of course sir, it had no effect though"

Amy was becoming slightly distressed by this point, well so Nessa says and Potter was apparently just looking on with a bemused look on his face

"Well really! That's quite enough, Evans, Black, that's 15 points from each of your houses and if you don't stop this instant you'll both have detention"

After his orders went unheeded Fogarty was quite at a loss as what to do, two of his favourite students were trying to kill each other on the quidditch pitch and there was nothing he could do about it

Nessa said that Amy appealed to James for help

"James, DO something!"

He didn't even glance her way

"What do you want me to do? Lily seems to be handling herself quite well, they'll both get tired before long and that'll be it"

Amy rolled her eyes

"This is Lily we're talking about, she won't stop until she's at least rendered him incapacitated for the rest of his life and you can't very well date her if she's in Azkaban"

James mumbled something under his breath before taking out his wand

Rhi reckons she's never seen anything like it, a simple flick of his wrist and we were sailing in opposite directions

The Gryffindors caught me and the Slytherins caught Reggie, both groups moved in opposite directions, I suppose to drag us off to the hospital wing hoping to use different corridors

Not that either of us were going to go easily

I'd like to make it very clear right now that Regulus came off looking a whole lot worse than I did

Okay so we were both covered in blood, scratches and bruises but _he_ still came off far worse than I did

I can't remember exactly when the tickling charm was removed but I do know that I didn't stop glaring at Regulus until he was out of sight

I think this has just upgraded our personal vendetta to all out war

Though some how I don't think Regulus is going to take me on in single handed combat any time soon

My friends were fussing about with my bruises and such but I think all that adrenaline just numbed that pain as I had to have my multiple bruises and bleeding lip pointed out to me by a rather hysterical Rhi and a none to calm Nessa

Sirius chose this moment to put in his two knuts worth

"You know Lily if it wasn't under pain of death, I could kiss you about now"

I raised my eyebrows at him

"Don't give me that look, you're a lovely girl and all but I do value my life, however I am greatly indebted to you for that lovely privilege of seeing my younger prat of a brother have the stuffing knocked out of him by a girl"

I narrowed my eyes

What, he thinks he'd fair any better?

Okay so maybe is a good deal bigger than Regulus and has some fighting abilities does _not_ mean I couldn't have a fair go at him

I could, really I could… it's most likely I wouldn't survive but I could have a damn good shot

"Er, I mean, your brilliant Lilykins" he added hastily before dashing off

I heard him speaking to James as Cam and Tri took me up to the hospital wing

"Promise me you won't get on her bad side any time soon, I rather like having a best mate"

Huh, he's already on my bad side, the great git

But one consolation was that the hussy had disappeared from his side

Madame Wilkes cast me a foreboding look when Tri and Cam deposited me on a bed in the hospital wing

Thankfully Regulus was making such a racket moaning about his pains and aliments that Wilkes had hardly any time to scold me for my disgraceful behaviour as she put it and if she had it her way I would be in the hospital wing for a good week to make sure all the bruises had healed probably but as it was Black was taking all her time so after dinner I was free to go

Oooh that has to be the shortest hospital visit I've ever had

Brilliant!

But of course Yougarty was waiting for me when I came out and he assigned me this lovely job of preparing his potion ingredients

Apparently Black's still too unwell to be released from the hospital wing so he's doing his detention tomorrow

Stupid git

I suppose it's not that bad, I mean I could have been assigned to help Williams with her special trees – that would have been the end for me I'm afraid

Thankfully it's just this musty old dungeon, these rather unnaturally slimy body parts and me, Fogarty had some rather pressing potion papers to attend to and scuttled off to his office

Pft! I bet you anything he's got a rather pressing date with some fire whiskey rather than grading papers

Though I have to say I don't mind in the least as I was able to get through what he left for me and there doesn't appear to be any more slimy things lying about so I guess I can just wander about a bit until a) Fogarty comes back or b) I get overly bored and leave a note and leg it

Well, well, well what do we have here?

It looks like the 7th years have been making some rather interesting potions

The temptation to play about with James' is very great but I shall resist temptation

I am not that weak

I refuse to be that weak

Oh but I could just… no one would know, well James might guess but there'd be no proof

NO! Bad Lily

We are attempting to win him over NOT cause him to annoyance

True he might rethink his git like attitude but – NO! Stop that we are _not_ going to do anything I will later regret

I know this sounds all rather schizophrenic but some times I think I am when dealing with the ever tricky Lily part of my multifaceted personality

Or maybe I just refuse to accept that I do actually have those traits in my personality

Hmmm what am I going to do about this James thing seeing as he's annoyed at me because I didn't tell him straight out that I'm head over heels for him and I'm off him because he was demanding that I profess my undying love while he just got to analyse the situation first

So neither of us is in fact talking to the other and we are both doing our best to make the other one even more pissed off

Such a loving relationship

Maybe I should talk to Remus, he's usually quite good at out lining what the hell is going on in his demented best mate's head

Not going near Sirius again though

I think I shall have to find out what the hell he knows first before going near him again

Bloody James – why does he have to make everything so difficult?

* * *

**Sunday 12th February – Lunch**

Ewww

Here I am trying to eat my lunch and Cam and Tri are sitting opposite me having a competition as to who can out gross the other

I don't even want to know what Cam's planning to do with those peas but it's enough to put me off my cottage pie and I may never drink tea again after that little demonstration from Tri of how the mouth and the nasal cavity are connected

I may be at lunch but I sure as hell don't want to eat anything with those two in front of me, I'm sure projectile vomit would win the competition but in all honesty I'd rather keep what little of my lunch I've managed to get down

Nessa just finds it funny and oh Merlin now SHE'S giving it a shot

My friends are mad

Rhi is over at the Ravenclaw table talking to Lorelei, very nice girl but has a strange effect on the opposite sex. According to Rhi her grandmother or someone was an ondine, a bit like mermaids only they don't have the fish tails they just look like beautiful young women. They are found in Germany and Scandanavia and young men usual fall into obsessive love with them at the sight of their long golden hair, coral lips and sparkling green eyes

And that would be a perfect description of Lorelei, every now and then you see some poor bloke catch sight of her and his eyes'll glaze over for a second and you just know that for the rest of the day he'll be mooning over her

But fortunately Lorelei is a lovely girl who finds they whole thing rather embarrassing to be honest, I'm just so glad some one like Rosemary doesn't have these particular traits or I think we'd all be in trouble, her ego would take over Britain

God knows where the twins have got to, they get like this sometimes bugger off on their own to do, well, I've no idea – most likely get into mischief and pass themselves off as each other while doing things they are not suppose to do

Bridget's not with Star Boy which is a start seeing it's hard to separate those two some days but I'll tell you who _is_ fawning over Black – Phinny

He he he he he

I know I shouldn't laugh but come on, she's a crack up that one

Though not exactly known for her bravery – I wonder if….

Oh my chocolate, now that's just low

Right he's really done it this time, there's no going back now

Would you believe Rosie is flirting with James?

Well, actually, that's very believable but him flirting _back_?!

Not so believable

But yep I just checked again he's acting interested in what she has to say and from the glare that Sirius is sending James he's not too impressed either

Okay, so I can deal with him flirting with that brunette and basically any other girl this school possesses but not Rosy, the evil cow who thinks I'm jealous of her and out to ruin her entire life because in reality she's out to ruin mine

So that's how it's going to be is it?

Right

Hmpf!

Right, two can play at this game matey

You just wait, you are so going to pay for this James Potter

Where's Nick?

Ah of course, there he is peacefully eating his lunch at the Hufflepuff table, completely unaware that he's about to become a pawn in a very dangerous game of what I'm guessing is relationship chess

I may be awful at chess but I'm not above playing dirty if James is going to go full steam ahead into that dangerous terrain

And would you look at that Curly Sue is safely out of sight

Hmmm I wonder if Nick would like a chocolate chip cookie…

The Library – Hiding From James In Case He Decides To Hunt Me Down and Follow Through With Those Glares OF Death

Oooh dear, I think I just racked up some major bad karma points, definitely did nothing for my previous allocations to one of the deeper circles of hell

Well James deserved that, he was flirting about with Rosie right in front of me, the cheeky sod that he is

I was rather cruel I admit but that was the intention so I really don't have any defences on this one

I picked up the plate of cookies and started off down the Gryffindor table towards James, I'm pretty sure Tri, Cam and Nessa thought I had flipped my lid as they stopped their game to watch me saunter off down the table

They knew that I was definitely NOT going to make a peace offering to James

That would just be un-Lilyish

Oh no, I sauntered right on past James, completely ignoring him and Star Boy effectively ensuring I had their full attention

I made my way over to the Hufflepuff table, thankful for the first time today that my hair had refused to stay in it's braid and hoping to god I looked alright in my jeans and sweater

I had to stop my self physically slapping myself – Nick's friends already think I'm a bit mad I don't really need to work on the nut case area of my personality with them

Nadia and Darren were with nick so that made me feel a little bit better about I was about to do because I felt I could most likely tell them what I was up to and they would laugh

Anyway I slid into the seat next to Nick and offered my plate of cookies about

They all gave me a warm welcome and said it was lovely to see me and how was I feeling after having beat Reggie to a pulp

All very sweet

Nick just raised his eyebrows at the cookies

"Er, Lily it's very nice of you to think of us like this but we have a plate of cookies already"

Boys, they're so bloody thick

Nadia's not though

"Ah but _this_ plate of cookies makes steam come out the ears of a certain Gryffindor Quidditch Captain"

See, girls are far more up with the emotional warfare

Nick's mouth formed a little 'O'

Darren found the whole thing rather amusing

"Yeah, that'll certainly do it, after you sat with us at the Quidditch match, I don't think herbology has ever has ever been the same. Potter's not exactly the forgiving type"

I rolled my eyes

"No he's more the gigantic prat type"

Nadia smiled and looked over my shoulder

"Well I can tell you he's certainly not happy about this little tête-à-tête, especially you leaning on Nick like you are Lily"

I felt like the cat that got the canary

Nick wasn't so pleased though

"Lily please don't drag me into this, I just got paired with Potter in Potions and I'd prefer to make it to my eighteenth birthday thanks"

I slide him a look but kept my hand and chin on his shoulder

"Don't worry, he'll be sorry if he so much as touches your quill"

"It's not my quill I'm worried about"

He has a point but honestly I would hex James to within an inch of his life he did anything to Nick

"Quit whining, what I actually wanted to talk to you about was Dana, you know the loopy blonde who has you at the top of her wish list"

"Can you get off my shoulder first, I think my arms going to sleep"

I glared at him

"No, now about Dana, she's very nice really, a tad… aggressive maybe but rather sweet most of the time"

"I know who she is, she's not shy is she?"

Dana? Shy? Why do those to words just refuse to go together?

"Er, no, she's not, but then what do you expect of someone with Veela blood? A Shrinking violet?"

More like a man eating Venus Fly Trap

"I see your point, I thought she must have something like that in her, like Lorelei Winters"

"But what do think of her? Would you say, go out on a date with her?"

That was when Nick slide me a sly look and then he turned his head to whisper in my ear

"Can't we talk about this later, somewhere a little more private, rather than the middle of the great hall at lunch time?"

I just looked at him trying very hard to hold back my laughter

He's so very cute when he's flustered

"Nope, that would defeat the purpose of this little chat. Plus Darren and Nadia want to know just as much as me"

By this point Nadia and Darren where close to bursting from laughter

"Oh Nick whisper in Lily's ear again, please, Potter sprayed his pumpkin juice all over MacDonald the last time, maybe next time he'll throw something"

Nick glared at Nadia

"Yeah at my head"

"This is brilliant, Lily you have to come sit with us more often, Potter's gone all red and Black's yelling at him, something about being a gigantic prat"

I just grinned and used every ounce of self control not to turn around and take a peek

Nick on the other hand covered his face with his hand

"I'm dead, your lucky your so cute Lily or I'd have to hex you"

I laughed and slapped him playfully

"Don't be silly Nick, you wouldn't hex me"

"Your right, I wouldn't because if I did Potter would have me in the hospital wing for the next month"

I decided now was time to take my leave as I had achieve what I set out to do now I am free to go enjoy my cookies in peace

I left Nadia and Darren still sniggering at Nick who was moaning about how he really had wanted to make it to eighteen before having every bone in his body broken

I sneaked a look at James and he looked positively livid, he was having a heated conversation with Star Boy. When he looked up I couldn't help but look straight back at him and raise my eyebrows in a silent question

He he he

He didn't look happy, I think the only person who looked more put out was dear Rosie

I smirked all the way up here to the library where I have miraculously managed to sneak in some cookies, so here I am smirking to myself, eating my chocolate chip cookies, nicely hidden in the Divination section of the library

I just discovered this place, I mean I don't know why I never thought of it before, I mean really who's going to come to the divination section?

No one

Seriously I've thought about this and it's true no one who takes that class would visit a whole section devoted to it in the library. Most of the people who take divination are slackers who did it to get out of ruins and therefore just fudge their assignments to their Professors liking so there nutty head fruit loop will think they're all brilliant and there fore don't need books to do their course

While those a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic who think the subject has actual substance will have their own personal library on the subject and wouldn't be seen dead reading these pre-medieval texts

See brilliant! Means I'm the only one in here and that's a on a busy day

Perfect hiding spot from nosy Marauders

Wait hold that thought, I can see Remus' charming smile coming towards me

Damn it, how do they do that? No matter where I go these damn Marauders seem to be able to find me

* * *

**Still In The Library – Considering Finding A Nice Bomb Shelter**

Yes a bomb shelter would do nicely, though preferably with a back door just in case James did manage to find me, would also come in handy if Rosie got to me first

I think a Fidielus Charm is taking things a bit too far but I could probably recommend one to Nick. Poor Nick, I really didn't mean for him to be pulled into this, I was hoping James would more concentrate on the fact that _I_ was being a tart but no some how he got it into his tiny brain that Nick was the one to _initiate_ things

Oh please, he saw me sashay my way over to the Hufflepuff table, start conversation, share my beloved cookies and lean on Nick – and yet _Nick_ is the one causing trouble

I think it was the whispering in my ear that set James off

According to Remus he had been handling it quite well suppressing his outrage and what not, but as soon as he saw what he thought was interest he went a little bit mad

Again poor Nick, he really is too polite, he was just trying to get me to shut up and look what happens…. He's been put down for water torture followed by beheading

I should probably document my meeting with Remus, it was rather enlightening

Remus seemed to just materialise out of the book shelves, grinning like a fool

Reminded me very strongly of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland

Anyway he was chirpy and his eyes were all twinkly with amusements at the afternoon's events, at least I think it was at the afternoon's events it could also be at my predictability to always find sanctuary in the library, I swear even the mad old battel axe that runs this place is even starting to look upon me in an endearing light

Not quite sure if that's good or not…

Best not to think about it, I'll stick to what I know best – when in doubt, be in denial

Anyway Remus slid into the chair opposite me and just sat their grinning

I finally gave in the silence contest, my curiosity won as it always does

"What?"

Remus just kept on grinning

"No, seriously, why are you sitting there grinning like a maniac?"

Remus chuckled to himself for a bit before answering me

"Just thinking how brilliant the Infamous Lily Evans is"

My eyebrows disappeared into my hair

"Me? Brilliant?"

Remus nodded

"At buggering things up, I'd have to agree and famous for said brilliance at buggering things up you also have my consensus"

The grin's appeared again only this time accompanying a shake of the head

"You really are a strange girl, last year I got the fact that you were slightly odd but this year has just shown me how very eccentric you really are – it's quite bewildering really"

Someone's a bit slow on the up take now aren't they?

"Well what do think it's like to actually be me then? Are you about to come to the epiphany explaining hwy I'm always so very confused? I thought it was common knowledge I'm a bit lose upstairs"

I tapped my head and rolled my eyes for effect

Honestly, after six years I thought people would be a bit clued in by now

"I think your eccentricity is what makes you so very likeable and I'm pretty sure those strange thought patterns of yours is the reason why you're able to push James' buttons so well"

Uh oh

I knew this was going to come up

Remus couldn't go along happily analysing me, oh no, he had to bring the gigantic prat into things

"That little display in the great hall earlier was quite the stroke of genius, all you have to do is smile at another bloke and James is ready to blow his top"

I winced

"I don't know if you noticed he can get rather jealous?" Remus added in a bored tone, rather unnecessarily I must say

"I , uh, got that, yeah"

Stupid git

James I mean, though Remus can be quite the git at times, like oh I don't know… NOW! He puts me on edge, Remus obviously, James just ticks me off, I never know what he's getting at and it can be rather unsettling at times – I swear only Remus knows where he's going with these conversations

"But makes him go really mad is when what ever bloke you have bestow a throw away smile looks as though he may reciprocate, hit's the bloody roof when he thinks some other bloke has a chance"

I'm not that oblivious you know, I did catch on that James' is a tad possessive

Remus had been doodling on spare bit of parchment while saying all this but then he pulled up his head and gave me a rather owlish look, the big blue eyes staring intently into my own, rather more anxious, eyes

"The strange thing about all this though is _you_ happen to be the only one who has this particular effect on him. The number of girls I've seen play mind games, whether it be the simpering girlfriend or the hard to get ice queen, not one of them has got him nearly as riled up as you do. And what I find to be the best bit is – you don't even try to wind James up, well today's an exception but usually all you have to do is be you"

I sudden thought hit me, struck me like a bloody anvil would also be appropriate

"But I'm a bloody nut case, you even said so yourself? Why on earth would you want your friend dating a known psycho? And can I just say I am not taking all the responsibility for today, James is just as much at fault as I am, I mean Rosie? Honestly!"

Remus chuckled a bit more

"If it's any comfort, I did try to warn him about that one, however James was trying to coax a reaction out of you, insisted he was prepared to go to extreme lengths. Also Sirius almost boxed his ears for being such a prat but James hit him with the Leg Locker before he could get within range"

I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open and nose scrunched up in a incredulous expression

"Has this boy never heard of flowers? I mean there are some pretty fool proof ways of getting a girl's attention but flittering about with the unhuman social tiger moth that makes said girl's life a misery is not one of then"

Remus sighed

"He's lightly miss guided"

"Slightly?"

"Okay, he's wandering the forest without a guide but I do try to give him a few pointers he just doesn't like to be told what to do, it's aversion to authority kicking in, rather like someone else I know"

He gave me a piercing look

"Oh who's that?"

Remus rolled his eyes

"Anyway, so what's it going to take for the two of you put yourselves out of your misery and relieve the rest of us of a never ending headache?"

"Don't look at me like that! It's not just down to me you know, there is another party at fault as well, why don't you go demand answers from him?"

"I already tried that but unfortunately all I got was a few curses and some unidentifiable murmurings"

"hmmm, I thought your eyebrows looked a bit mismatched"

Remus' hand flew to his head and he tentatively felt his eyebrows

"Be that as it may, James really isn't in a talkative mood, when it comes to you but then he never is to be honest"

He gave me one of those calculating looks

"You really are a baffling for our poor James, but he's determined to figure you out, you're like his personal riddle he has to work out all on his own. He won't tell Sirius, Peter or I anything, which is ever so slightly annoying as Sirius is getting positively whinny at being left out"

I gave him an innocent look

"It's not my problem what James does, I'm sure Sirius will manage some how"

"For my sanity's sake I hope so, but anyway back on topic since you are the more talkative of the two I thought I might extract a little information"

"You're an arrogant prat at times do you know that Remus? What makes you think you'll get any more out of me than you will out of James?"

Then he smirked, yes that's right smirked

I was so very tempted to sock him one

My Merlin, I'm an aggressive little sod now aren't I?

"Because Lily dear, you're not very good at concealing your emotions and when caught at the right time you'll blab to anyone anything that comes to mind"

He knows me far too well this one

"Well what do you want me to say then?"

Remus slide me a sly glance

"I was hoping it was something along the lines of you're desperately in love with James and you'll do anything to make this right"

I just gave him a 'Are you quite mad?' Look

"Okay, so maybe that's a bit much, but do you at least like the idiot?"

I screwed up my face

Hmmm, not really sure about the whole spilling my guts to Remus thing but here goes

"Well, yes, I have to say I have, unfortunately, become fond of him. It's rather sad really considering how much he annoys the hell out of me"

"Well that's a start, so I take it your not exactly impressed by his recent antics then?"

What do you bloody think?

"Decidedly not"

"Well all I can say is at least we've established a mutual liking, how we get the two of you in the same room with hexes being thrown is still a mystery but we'll take it one step at a time"

This was getting confusing, it was liking talking to one of my inner voices only it was in the fleshy form of Remus…

Strange

Wait one cotton pickin' minute…

"That's just the point though Remus, he hasn't said he likes me! He's tried to get a me to make the first verbal commitment. Yes, he's snogged me but that's all, he hasn't actually voiced any requests such as 'Lily will you go out with me?' Just what am I supposed do? Throw myself at him and hope that he'll lower himself to maybe reciprocate the feeling s if they are to his liking?"

Remus was looking thoughtful

"You have a point there"

Have a point?! You bet I have a bloody point!

Though it would be lovely if Remus could shed some light on the inner workings of his best mates minefield of a brain

"That's all you can say? 'You have a point there'? I know I have a point Remus hence why I am so utterly perplexed by whatever little games James has decided we're playing"

Bloody relationship chess, I swear I'll never be any good at it

After that Remus rambled on about this, that and the other, how James is just growing up and that it's a confusing time for him

Well it's a confusing time for me too, primarily due to our _dear_ Mr Potter

Stupid git

Stupid git's prattish friends

Remus finally got the fact that I wasn't listening to him and buggered off, hopefully to annoy some other poor soul

Speaking of prattish friends my dear Nessa has just slid into the seat next to me

Whatever can she want?

**To congratulate on that little stunt you pulled earlier, complete genius, James was floored – I am humbled by the cunning that sits before me - VH**

_Well thank you I'm glad you enjoyed the show, but er… why are we writing notes?- EV_

**Because someone just spilt an entire beaker of some disgusting looking potion in the transfiguration section and Pince is on the warpath**

**Plus I don't want any over zealous gossip mongers to hear our conversation**

_What are you on about? Over zealous gossip mongers? Who's going to be hanging around here solely to hear us talking?_

**Take a look around Lils, you're quite the centre of interest**

_Oh my chocolate… What do they think this is? A zoo?_

**You know you've gone the most stunning shade of scarlet I ever did see, set of your eyes so very nicely, a blush is quite becoming on you Ms Evans**

_Oh shush, why are they all staring? I mean there's nothing to look at_

**Nothing to look at? Are you completely barmy? Here we have the ever so lovely Lily Evans, who has not only given one of Hogwarts' biggest heart throbs, who also happens to be Head Boy, the absolute run around, just today she's been seen slagging off with a deliriously dishy Hufflepuff 7th year causing our beloved Head Boy to blow a gasket **

_That's what they're saying is it?_

**Well there's a couple of versions floating about, nobody knows what's going on between you two, hell the both of you don't even know, people are just filling in the blanks**

_Great, that makes me feel so much better, not only do I have to figure out how to win over the bloke I fancy but I have the whole of Hogwarts watching with bated breath _

_Oh yes I feel so much better now that you've informed what a spectacle I was making of myself _

**Well if you really want to know I think it's more James' antics that have been attracting attention, you've just been happily going along being you.**

…

**And it doesn't help that half an hour a go Remus blasted James about his behaviour in the common room for all to hear **

…

**Oh and did I mention Remus also told him he was a head case who needs to get a few things in perspective and James yelled back that he was a traitor and he shouldn't be taking your side?**

_I'll kill him_

**Who? Remus? James?**

_Remus_

_ James_

_Both of them_

**Oooh goody! A good old fashioned blood bath! Can I watch? What about Sirius? Can you do him in too? He always gets on my nerves**

_Ugh! Let's go, I feel the walls closing in on me_

**Don't worry, it's not the walls it's just more people have heard about today's various events**

_You're not helping, though a nice cup of tea would _

**All right, to the kitchens it is!**

Some how I feel I'm going to need many cups of tea to get through… whatever this is

* * *

Hi Everyone 

Yes, I know I said I would update soon but well by my standards this is soon. Okay, yes it has been sitting on my computer three quarters of the way done for a couple of weeks but that's beside the point I've had quite a bit on, what with Christmas and new year and my mum having to fly home to Scotland and all

So yes, things are still hectic and are bound to become even more so once I move away to uni, I really am trying to get the chapters written but please be patient with me

Thankyou to everyone who has read and enjoyed the story and a very special thankyou to all those that took the time to review – I appreciate it muchly

Thanks again,

Jen


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